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(Daily Mail)   Pop quiz hotshot. The elevator door opens and one man is choking another to death. You have a cell phone, a man bag, and your car keys. What do you do?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 267
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17593 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 8:25 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-04 08:53:03 PM  
I search the area for traps, hidden doors and compartments.
 
2013-03-04 08:53:47 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Take the stairs.


That's what the card said.
 
2013-03-04 08:54:48 PM  
I attack the darkness.
 
2013-03-04 08:55:09 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: megarian: Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator

You've got a lot in your man bag.

I guess it'd just be a purse in your case.


There's not an ENTIRE man in my bag. Just parts. And a fifth. And some blow.

Oh....OH! I read that wrong.
 
2013-03-04 08:55:36 PM  
This could be a very dangerous experiment.

Don't try this at home, folks.
 
2013-03-04 08:56:46 PM  

caddisfly: FARK rebel soldier: [25.media.tumblr.com image 360x272]

I've always wondered if that was real.  I hope it is.


A real attacker wouldn't put his arm around her shoulder then pause briefly like that to perfectly set himself up for a belly-to-back suplex.
 
2013-03-04 08:58:53 PM  
Put the victim's hands on my neck, choke the choker, get a real circlejerk going.
 
2013-03-04 08:59:09 PM  
Pull out my pocket knife and stab the attacker in an artery.

And I know just where to cut.  Thanks, Bones!

whatculture.com
 
2013-03-04 08:59:53 PM  

megarian: There's not an ENTIRE man in my bag. Just parts. And a fifth. And some blow.


You've got man parts in your bag to blow?

megarian: Oh....OH! I read that wrong.


Come to think of it, maybe I should carry a bag. All I can carry without one is a flask.
 
2013-03-04 09:00:48 PM  

SilentStrider: Blushing Wall Flower: PC LOAD LETTER: Spray my man chowder on your mom?

No.

You take that back. Right now.

I'm pretty sure that's stuff that doesn't go back. Its like toothpaste.


Wow. You outdid me. By leagues.
 
2013-03-04 09:01:47 PM  
I lol'd at the girl swinging her sweatshirt at the guy. Did she confuse him for being on fire?
 
2013-03-04 09:02:58 PM  

PC LOAD LETTER: SilentStrider: Blushing Wall Flower: PC LOAD LETTER: Spray my man chowder on your mom?

No.

You take that back. Right now.

I'm pretty sure that's stuff that doesn't go back. Its like toothpaste.

Wow. You outdid me. By leagues.



Hear here!
 
2013-03-04 09:04:38 PM  
posting to say hi to my TC friends...hiiii gw llama blushing everyone!
 
2013-03-04 09:04:40 PM  

UsikFark: [www.platypuscomix.net image 360x268]


THAT'S MY PURSE!


Kumana Wanalaia: I attack the darkness.


Attack the gazebo.
 
2013-03-04 09:05:38 PM  
i127.photobucket.com
Start strangling the dude strangling the other dude

/There can be only one
 
2013-03-04 09:05:57 PM  

Silentbob768768: posting to say hi to my TC friends...hiiii gw llama blushing everyone!


WOOOOOOOO!!!!!
 
2013-03-04 09:06:07 PM  

megarian: Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator


Close. Drink the liquor and then show them your toes.
 
2013-03-04 09:06:07 PM  
So... what would have happened to the pranksters if one of these people was carrying?  Or did they make sure to do this in a gun-free zone?
 
2013-03-04 09:06:11 PM  

Kumana Wanalaia: I attack the darkness.


I put on my robe and wizard hat
 
2013-03-04 09:06:19 PM  
Beat em both down with the emergency phone, take their shiat, push all the buttons and run.
 
2013-03-04 09:09:37 PM  
Wait. This one of those "both sides are bad" questions like in the Fark Politics tab, isn't it?
 
2013-03-04 09:11:30 PM  
Be funny if they tried this in Texas.
 
2013-03-04 09:11:39 PM  

redoctober65: I'd annex the Sudetenland and sign a non-aggression pact with Russia


I think that was the Carpet Biter.
 
2013-03-04 09:12:59 PM  
so uh, what happens when a prankster like this stumbles upon someone with a conceal carry permit, that just shoots the attacker?
 
2013-03-04 09:15:08 PM  
I allow a slight grin to decorate my weathered countenance, reaching immediately for the button securing my jeans; using slight but sure movements to overcome the friction imposed by my earthen girth, I allow them to note my commando-style lack of undergarments, and then begin the  pelvic thrusting.
 
2013-03-04 09:15:54 PM  

Kumana Wanalaia: I search the area for traps, hidden doors and compartments.


I like your answer
 
2013-03-04 09:16:04 PM  

MBK: Kick the attacker in the head.


Kicking the attacker and hitting the emergency button were the first thoughts I had.

/from my limited experience breaking up fights aim for the balls
 
2013-03-04 09:16:19 PM  
Considering if I'm carrying my man bag it has a gun in it, it could very well have ended poorly for someone.  In this situation it would be hard to tell who was truly the aggressor however, so while I would have considered pulling, I equally as likely would have just kicked the sheet out of the guy choking the other guy and made sure they stayed separated until the cops got there.
 
2013-03-04 09:16:56 PM  

FARK rebel soldier: [25.media.tumblr.com image 360x272]


I can only imagine she rotated backwards out of that wrestler's bridge and landed with a heel in his eye.
 
2013-03-04 09:18:25 PM  
I shoot myself for thinking of something I own as a "man bag".

/if you have to "man" something's name, the problem wasn't the thing's name
 
2013-03-04 09:19:03 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

The 5th Seinfeld Member
 
2013-03-04 09:19:41 PM  

UsikFark: FARK rebel soldier: [25.media.tumblr.com image 360x272]

I can only imagine she rotated backwards out of that wrestler's bridge and landed with a heel in his eye.


I forgot to add: her pelvic floor could rip your dick off.
 
2013-03-04 09:20:36 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: I shoot myself for thinking of something I own as a "man bag".

/if you have to "man" something's name, the problem wasn't the thing's name


What about mangria? It's sangria with vodka added so that red wine goes further!

/yes I am annoyed by Carolla's schtick
 
2013-03-04 09:21:32 PM  

IamAwake: so uh, what happens when a prankster like this stumbles upon someone with a conceal carry permit, that just shoots the attacker?


Something along these lines. I don't mean to sound all ITG, but I'd kinda welcome the opportunity to kill someone without consequence. A quick kick to the throat can be difficult to survive, especially if you follow up properly.
 
2013-03-04 09:21:49 PM  
My "man bag" has a 10mm in it. So this doesn't end well for these "pranksters".
 
2013-03-04 09:21:51 PM  
Hey, is that toilet paper on your shoe?

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-03-04 09:22:05 PM  
I'd call 911 and start filming.  Until Llamagirl showed up, at which point I would get the hell out of dodge before I got hit with a tampon.
 
2013-03-04 09:23:10 PM  
Absolutely, perfectly 100% understandable to just walk away.  Being unable to pass a piss test, being high in general, outstanding warrant (hell even if it's traffic), or just hating the police are all good reasons I could see someone walking away from this.
 
2013-03-04 09:24:33 PM  
"Sorry Senator, I see you're busy. I'll get the next one."
 
2013-03-04 09:25:31 PM  
You get in that farkin elevator and start helping to choke the guy out. He must have done something to deserve it right?...
 
2013-03-04 09:25:53 PM  
Turn around and find another lift. Peeples are cray. I doan need more.
 
2013-03-04 09:28:43 PM  

arentol: My "man bag" has a 10mm in it. So this doesn't end well for these "pranksters".


10mm is kind of small for a testicle's diameter... and there should be more than one.
 
2013-03-04 09:29:16 PM  

Delay: megarian: Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator

Close. Drink the liquor and then show them your toes.


Okay. Just got them done.
 
2013-03-04 09:29:28 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: Fix the cable.


Don't be fatuous, OtherLittleGuy.
 
2013-03-04 09:29:36 PM  
No one had a gun?
 
2013-03-04 09:29:57 PM  

SilentStrider: I'm pretty sure that's stuff that doesn't go back. Its like toothpaste.


You should see a doctor about that.  Yesterday.
 
2013-03-04 09:30:01 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: megarian: There's not an ENTIRE man in my bag. Just parts. And a fifth. And some blow.

You've got man parts in your bag to blow?

megarian: Oh....OH! I read that wrong.

Come to think of it, maybe I should carry a bag. All I can carry without one is a flask.


Exaaaaaaaactly.
 
2013-03-04 09:30:35 PM  

davidshi123: Absolutely, perfectly 100% understandable to just walk away.  Being unable to pass a piss test, being high in general, outstanding warrant (hell even if it's traffic), or just hating the police are all good reasons I could see someone walking away from this.


I have been out of this world and interacted with cops before, when you are white-knighting IRL they seem to side with you (or me, but I'm a white male in my late 20's). Drunk driver plowed some people through a median and took off. 5 minutes earlier when the guy nearly put us over the side of the railing we called the cops to report it. We called them again with the mile marker number and waited and gave a report. Did I mention how farked up we were?

That being said I would hope I would kick the guy in the head a couple of times like I'm Sebastion Janikowski, drag him out of the elevator, and wait. One wouldn't get charged for kicking someone try to take another's life, right?
 
cjo [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 09:32:59 PM  

Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!


Allow a ride on the motorboat?
 
2013-03-04 09:33:15 PM  
Beat the attacker until he stops, then kick the everloving shiat out of both douchebags when I find out it's a prank.
 
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