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(Daily Mail)   Pop quiz hotshot. The elevator door opens and one man is choking another to death. You have a cell phone, a man bag, and your car keys. What do you do?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 268
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17591 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 8:25 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-04 07:58:08 PM

LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.



Oh, c'mon.

You probably shouldn't rag on the attacker.
 
2013-03-04 08:00:03 PM

I_C_Weener: SilentStrider: I_C_Weener: LlamaGirl: Blushing Wall Flower: FLASH YER BEWBS!

That only works if you aren't a wonky titted freak!

Well, looks like I've got a new term to GIS.

That GIS is surprisingly mostly safe for work.

I know.  But they didn't!!!  Way to ruin everything!


Well that's what you get for not making sure I get the memos.
 
2013-03-04 08:00:06 PM

LlamaGirl: atlfarkette: LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]

LOL! If that wont freak the attacker out I don't know what will.

I'd love to see any man that would not shriek like a girl and stop whatever he is doing if that happened.


Or even better if it was a pad. Just stick that thing to his face. He ain't fighting no more!

/we're disgusting
 
2013-03-04 08:00:30 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.


Oh, c'mon.

You probably shouldn't rag on the attacker.


She's going with the flow.  It's not her problem if the attacker sees red.
 
2013-03-04 08:00:34 PM
media.screened.com
 
2013-03-04 08:01:37 PM

atlfarkette: LlamaGirl: atlfarkette: LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]

LOL! If that wont freak the attacker out I don't know what will.

I'd love to see any man that would not shriek like a girl and stop whatever he is doing if that happened.

Or even better if it was a pad. Just stick that thing to his face. He ain't fighting no more!

/we're disgusting


Take that Batman!  There is a pair of new super heroines in town.  Maxi Pad and Tampon Girl.
 
2013-03-04 08:01:52 PM

LlamaGirl:


Lmao!!
 
2013-03-04 08:02:18 PM

LlamaGirl: [media.screened.com image 291x423]


I see what you did over there.  And over here.
 
2013-03-04 08:03:36 PM

I_C_Weener: Take that Batman!  There is a pair of new super heroines in town.  Maxi Pad and Tampon Girl.


hahahaha oh ewwww
 
2013-03-04 08:03:45 PM

LlamaGirl: [media.screened.com image 291x423]


well played
 
2013-03-04 08:04:27 PM

I_C_Weener: Take that Batman! There is a pair of new super heroines in town. Maxi Pad and Tampon Girl.


well there goes my plan for a life of crime.
 
2013-03-04 08:05:21 PM

SilentStrider: I_C_Weener: Take that Batman! There is a pair of new super heroines in town. Maxi Pad and Tampon Girl.

well there goes my plan for a life of crime.


And you'll be in jail all due to a period.
 
2013-03-04 08:05:22 PM
Kiss my grits, Magic Doorknob.
 
2013-03-04 08:06:45 PM
Scream "Kalima" repeatedly and rip out the attacker's heart.
 
2013-03-04 08:09:45 PM

eyeq360: SilentStrider: I_C_Weener: Take that Batman! There is a pair of new super heroines in town. Maxi Pad and Tampon Girl.

well there goes my plan for a life of crime.

And you'll be in jail all due to a period.


Actually, it was a comma that he was missing.
 
2013-03-04 08:11:41 PM
Fighting crime with vagoo blood.
 
2013-03-04 08:12:06 PM

atlfarkette: Fighting crime with vagoo blood.


*hifive*
 
2013-03-04 08:13:08 PM
Spray my man chowder on your mom?
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 08:14:53 PM

atlfarkette: Fighting crime with vagoo blood.


GIVING ANAL BY DAYLIGHT

I AM THE ONE CALLED SAILOR POON

yeah I have way too much time on my hand.
 
2013-03-04 08:18:22 PM

eyeq360: She's going with the flow.


Indeed.

Hers is a more improvised form of combat.  She just kinda wings it.
 
2013-03-04 08:19:17 PM
I'd fire them both.
 
2013-03-04 08:19:41 PM

PC LOAD LETTER: Spray my man chowder on your mom?


No.

You take that back. Right now.
 
2013-03-04 08:21:44 PM
If the criminal is quick, he can Stayfree.
/When will the puns end?
 
2013-03-04 08:26:26 PM

Blushing Wall Flower: PC LOAD LETTER: Spray my man chowder on your mom?

No.

You take that back. Right now.


I'm pretty sure that's stuff that doesn't go back. Its like toothpaste.
 
2013-03-04 08:27:02 PM

UsikFark: [www.platypuscomix.net image 360x268]


Right in the man-bag.
 
2013-03-04 08:28:19 PM

eyeq360: If the criminal is quick, he can Stayfree.


How long could he be on the loose?

Always.


THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!!!
 
2013-03-04 08:28:53 PM
Really, though. If you see some dude choking out another in the elevator, it's probably best to just wait for the next elevator.
 
2013-03-04 08:29:01 PM
This thread just got greenlit and will be on the main page.  I wonder what the liters will make of all of this stuff?
 
2013-03-04 08:30:16 PM
Knock both of them unconscious, grab the wallets and walk away nonchalantly.

/was kicked in the man bag once.
 
2013-03-04 08:32:19 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-04 08:34:03 PM
I'd take out my cellphone and call the cops and then give the chokee some words of encouragement like "the cops will be here in about 20 minutes. See if you can hang on until then."
 
2013-03-04 08:34:54 PM

monty666: Quickly jump in the elevator and press the buttons for every floor and then run out and laugh and then pull my cell phone out of my man purse and call a psychic and ask him "guess what I just saw"


I see you took my answer.  I did that once.  Except for the last part.  That was dumb.
 
2013-03-04 08:35:39 PM

LlamaGirl: atlfarkette: LlamaGirl: Pull out my tampon and throw at in the attackers face.

[img.photobucket.com image 139x192]

LOL! If that wont freak the attacker out I don't know what will.

I'd love to see any man that would not shriek like a girl and stop whatever he is doing if that happened.


Probably drop his man bag too.
 
2013-03-04 08:36:35 PM
Take the stairs.
 
2013-03-04 08:40:19 PM
Maybe the guy being choked needed choking.
 
2013-03-04 08:40:21 PM
take advantage of a captive audience, hand out some Jehovah's Witness tracts, find out if they have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour
 
2013-03-04 08:41:12 PM
Pull out my weenier start wacking off.
(choking freak)
 
2013-03-04 08:41:32 PM
I probably stare blankly for a little while. I'm not all that good under pressure.
 
2013-03-04 08:41:52 PM
www.chud.com
Choking is what you do when you eat chicken wings too fast.  What were talking about here is  STRANGLING.
 
2013-03-04 08:42:25 PM

martid4: Knock both of them unconscious, grab the wallets and walk away nonchalantly.


Took 80 posts to get it right.  Fark, I am disappoint!
 
2013-03-04 08:46:00 PM
Take the next elevator.
 
2013-03-04 08:46:56 PM

10.0.0.1: monty666: Quickly jump in the elevator and press the buttons for every floor and then run out and laugh and then pull my cell phone out of my man purse and call a psychic and ask him "guess what I just saw"

I see you took my answer.  I did that once.  Except for the last part.  That was dumb.


Yeah. I was just trying to work the phone into it but I ran out of brains.
 
2013-03-04 08:47:41 PM

orclover: Choking is what you do when you eat chicken wings too fast.  What were talking about here is  STRANGLING.


Holy poop you're right. I've been saying it wrong for years.
 
2013-03-04 08:47:44 PM
Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator
 
2013-03-04 08:47:53 PM

FARK rebel soldier: [25.media.tumblr.com image 360x272]


I've always wondered if that was real.  I hope it is.
 
2013-03-04 08:50:37 PM

eyeq360: This thread just got greenlit and will be on the main page.  I wonder what the liters will make of all of this stuff?


Me no understand what happen
 
2013-03-04 08:50:39 PM

megarian: Drink the rest of my whiskey.

And wipe the coke off my nose.

And the tampon thing.

/counting on a slow elevator


You've got a lot in your man bag.

I guess it'd just be a purse in your case.
 
2013-03-04 08:51:30 PM

FARK rebel soldier: [25.media.tumblr.com image 360x272]


I may have trained her.
 
GBB [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 08:51:47 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk

Isn't this the default now?
 
2013-03-04 08:52:40 PM

monty666: Quickly jump in the elevator and press the buttons for every floor and then run out and laugh and then pull my cell phone out of my man purse and call a psychic and ask him "guess what I just saw"


My god, man. That is the best answer yet.
 
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