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(NYPost)   Hello, my name is Jason and I'll be your server tonight. Our special is the whiniest article about waiters you'll read this year. It's served over a bed of snobbery with a NYPost glaze. And just so you know, there is a tipping wank surcharge   (nypost.com) divider line 29
    More: Dumbass, party service  
•       •       •

16830 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 7:56 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-04 08:22:09 PM  
4 votes:

teeny: Holy shiat. What a pretentious douchebag.


No, no... Kyle isn't pretentious. He's just a little bit better than most people, because he "...tries to spend a week or two every year" in France. I don't know how you missed his suave internationalism, as he managed to offhandedly mention it twice in a very short article, with the same phony-casual manner in which television cops use chopsticks to eat Chinese food.
2013-03-04 09:48:32 PM  
3 votes:
Kyle: "Hi, I'm Kyle and I will be your New York Post blogger this evening"

Paco: "Hi Kyle, to be honest, I don't care what your name is, what stupid thing you're about to say, that you're tougher and edgier than a sexually ambiguous theater kid or that for some reason you think visiting France or spending $150 on a single meal gives you the authority to be a giant d-bag."

Kyle (smiling inanely): "Well I'm going to continue telling you my opinions anyway."

Paco: "Kyle, wait, you didn't let me reach the best part.  I don't have to tip you shiat, because instead of standing on your feet all day and having to pretend that you like a parade of self righteous high maintenance assholes like yourself, you sit at a Starbucks all day coming up with ways to troll the NY public for $400 a dung heap your editor mistakes as a column.  Any New Yorker who admits they leave 10% tips should be forced to read your film reviews.
2013-03-04 08:41:54 PM  
3 votes:
There's a local fine dining place, part of a smallish corporate chain, that I eat at once or twice a week. Love the food, and the service is impeccable.

The corp management enforces the relentlessly cheerful attitude, and when I'm eating at the bar, I sometimes see customers acting like complete dicks.  One of the bartenders has started writing cranky/funny notes about them on napkins and sliding them under the edge of my plate while I'm dining.

Sometimes I'll find a way to annoy the person bothering her.  One guy who had to be in his 60s was relentlessly hitting on her (she's around 25 and stunning). Asking for her home address (so he could drop by!), etc.  I spotted his wedding ring, asked him if he was married.  Asked him if he had any pictures of his wife. Said I thought she was hot, do they swing, we should do a threesome.

She and the other bartender just about died trying to keep from laughing.
2013-03-04 08:07:33 PM  
3 votes:
I'm shocked that the NY Post writers are whiny douchebags.
2013-03-04 08:01:20 PM  
3 votes:
"Strangely, New York waitrons (my generic term for both sexes of waitstaff) don't even serve anything anymore. "

I bet you eat a lot of spit
2013-03-04 07:51:01 PM  
3 votes:
(And in France, I've been baffled to get turned away from an entirely empty establishment at 6 p.m. because all tables are already reserved - for diners who intend to show up at 7:30 or 8 or 8:15. Don't they want my money in the meantime?)

Maybe they picked up on the fact that you're a pretentious dick and couldn't be bothered to deal with you.
2013-03-04 07:58:25 PM  
2 votes:
t1.gstatic.com
2013-03-04 07:57:56 PM  
2 votes:
Oh, its this thread again.
2013-03-05 04:00:35 AM  
1 votes:
funcorner.eu

Most of the gay waiters which is most of the waiters in the OC are from Laguna Beach which took the title as AIDS capital of California from Frisco in '89. If you're visiting Disneyland and don't want to be ingesting HIV then it would behoove you to be as nice as possible to your waiter. Don't believe any of the we don't spit in the food bullshiat in the article.
2013-03-05 01:37:31 AM  
1 votes:

Martstar: You know, not being a dick should apply to every facet of life as much as possible.  You're no better than the person whose job it is to provide service to you, no matter what your inflated sense of yourself might tell you to the contrary.  Your waiter, your mechanic, the kid who bags your groceries, etc., all have names and families and stuff going on in their lives.  We all think we're kings and queens in America, but the fact is, we rent our servants, and we share our servants, and, come to think of it, they're servers, not servants.  They're people, doing a job, usually a kinda shiatty one, so just quick being a dick.  All of you, but especially you, Kyle.  You are better than no one.  Would you like a nice big slice of humble pie for desert?  It's on the house.



Yah, no matter how powerful,rich, or famous you are there will always be a time when you can be caught sitting on the can, mid turd, vulnerable, helpless and ashamed. We're all equal.
2013-03-04 11:15:19 PM  
1 votes:

SirPeteTheGreat: The scriptingflair that some folks hate is almost never a choice on the part of waitstaff. It's the management, and just like everyone else, when management makes the rules people who don't follow them tend to lose jobs.


thehappyhomeowner.net
2013-03-04 11:01:16 PM  
1 votes:

mahuika: Strangely, New York waitrons (my generic term for both sexes of waitstaff) don't even serve anything anymore.

Uh, there are already several gender neutral terms for that. In fact you actually used one in the definition of your made-up word.


I thought the term was 'underacheivers'.
2013-03-04 11:00:08 PM  
1 votes:

The My Little Pony Killer: If you don't want to be bothered during dinner, either go to McDonald's, order in, or cook for yourself. Until then, I am going to smile and ask you if you enjoyed your meal.


My god... it's like you're like Osama bin Hitler or something.
2013-03-04 10:55:32 PM  
1 votes:

Yogimus: Fart_Machine: gregscott: Has anybody mentioned yet that since tipping is done by percentage, that there is no legitimate reason for them to inflate from 10 to 20 percent in the last 40 years?

How much do you believe servers make even at the "inflated" rate of 20%?

Discuss your wages with your employer, not your customer.


I'm sure you thought you had a point there but I was asking why there was "no legitimate reason" to give someone 20%.
2013-03-04 10:39:41 PM  
1 votes:

gregscott: Has anybody mentioned yet that since tipping is done by percentage, that there is no legitimate reason for them to inflate from 10 to 20 percent in the last 40 years?


How much do you believe servers make even at the "inflated" rate of 20%?
2013-03-04 09:59:36 PM  
1 votes:

MayoBoy: Serious question:  At a white linen tablecloth restaurant with a party of 13.  While waiting for our deserts, a waitress other than ours comes up to me and asks if she can buy me a drink at the bar.  Am I supposed to know that is a special code for "I want to talk to you in private and tell you to hurry up because we have lots of people waiting in the bar for tables"?

We hadn't even gotten our check yet, much less our desert.  Am I right to be pissed off about it?


No, you're not right to be pissed off about it because it's a trivial and non-insulting request that shows she's trying to balance your needs with the needs of other guests.

You certianly don't have to comply, but getting all butt hurt about it makes you look like a giant douche bag.
2013-03-04 09:52:44 PM  
1 votes:

Barricaded Gunman: teeny: Holy shiat. What a pretentious douchebag.

No, no... Kyle isn't pretentious. He's just a little bit better than most people, because he "...tries to spend a week or two every year" in France. I don't know how you missed his suave internationalism, as he managed to offhandedly mention it twice in a very short article, with the same phony-casual manner in which television cops use chopsticks to eat Chinese food.


I, too, try to spend a week or two in France every year. And every year I fail completely.
2013-03-04 09:04:59 PM  
1 votes:

Meatybrain: timujin: (And in France, I've been baffled to get turned away from an entirely empty establishment at 6 p.m. because all tables are already reserved - for diners who intend to show up at 7:30 or 8 or 8:15. Don't they want my money in the meantime?)

Maybe they picked up on the fact that you're a pretentious dick and couldn't be bothered to deal with you.

You mean they thought he was French too?

Not wanting to agree, but sometimes even whinging twunts have a point because even though he isn't really on point about most of the small places I have been to I do agree that the places where waiting is reduced to a set of rules that enforce an overly-interactive experience are abhorrent to me and I hate even more that the people I can get to (staff) have absolutely no control over how annoying they have to be to keep their shiatty jobs and the people who actually deserve to be eviscerated with a mad badger (management/ownagement) I can't touch because who can get to these bastards in their beach chalets and massive yachts when even a brainy, meaty person such as myself can't even get more than a fortnight's vacation time and who can afford to save enough to stay at a decent hotel so you can relax while you're on your mad revenge-fueled spree on the wages you get these days I mean really it's enough to make you go mental it really is.

i22.photobucket.com
2013-03-04 09:02:54 PM  
1 votes:
Frankly, gar♥♥çon,

This is where I stopped taking you seriously as a human being.
2013-03-04 09:01:12 PM  
1 votes:

SirEattonHogg: If its a pricey place, I like waiters with a smile, being polite and especially knowledgeable about the food.  That last part is important.  If I ask for a recommendation, please don't tell me everything is good.  That's bullshiat.   You suggest a good dish and wine pairing, that's an automatic increase in the tip.

I personally don't like the overly familiar waiter with the jokes.  I thought the writer sounded like a real a-hole, but he's correct on one point - I'm not dining with the waiter.

The only exception is if I'm eating at the bar and the bartender is serving.  OR the waiter is like the cute Asian waitress I had in Santa Monica a few days ago.  She was good looking and slighty flirty (I dont care if she was just trolling for tips - it worked).


I'm getting a kick out of everyone here that thinks waitstaff has a secret book that tells them the criteria for each customer.

'Oooooh! It's "Bob". Remember, he wants you to be knowledgeable, but not friendly. Wait guys, we have to see where he sits, because if he sits at the bar, THEN he wants you to be his buddy. Oh, I almost forgot, if he sits in Soon-Yi's section, she's supposed to flirt with him. But nobody else, OK? Wow, it's a good thing we have this written down for every potential customer on the planet, isn't it?'.
2013-03-04 08:36:11 PM  
1 votes:

vudukungfu: mahuika: Strangely, New York waitrons (my generic term for both sexes of waitstaff) don't even serve anything anymore.

Uh, there are already several gender neutral terms for that. In fact you actually used one in the definition of your made-up word.

I have heard it used. By the most pretentious ass of a manager who ever circled tables at a restaurant.
Back in the late 70's.
His job was to write up the over the top descriptions of the menu items, among other things.
I was a chef, and learned that I did not like him from the other waitstaff.
/He needed permission to enter the kitchen.
//We trained him to ask for it.
///He was one of the first people I ever met who shaved his head because he was going bald. Before it was cool.

Oh, and if you are out there, Monta (his real first name) Naomi did not like you staring at her ample cleavage and she was a Damned Good waitress.


The hell she didn't, she kept shoving them in my face and jiggling them.
2013-03-04 08:26:52 PM  
1 votes:
In France, where I try to spend a week or two every year,

This guy probably uses "summer" as a verb.
2013-03-04 08:26:03 PM  
1 votes:

Iplaybass: I think the whole idea of tipping is a bit strange. You have an employer. I give them money when I purchase food/services. Let them pay you. I shouldn't have to!


How DARE you bring logic into a tipping thread! I should spit in your food and throw your steak on the floor!!
2013-03-04 08:24:07 PM  
1 votes:

monstera: I used to wait tables, so I'm really getting a kick out of this...but seriously, I start at 20% and let them work their way down...or up. That's my policy and I recommend it.


20%? For a tip? They'd have to be one heck of a server to earn a double tip.
2013-03-04 08:23:59 PM  
1 votes:
A columnist in New York talking about how he only travels to France, and talking about how great the French waitstaffers are as compared to U.S. waitstaffers, who starts off insulting the U.S. ones and then bashes them.  By the time I finished that smug article I wished there was a way to email a ninja to the writer that upon opening the attachment flung a series of ninja stars into the writer's face.

The only thing to make that article more pretentious or douche-tastic, would be that in France he's dining in 5 star restaurants and in New York he's dining at Applebees and comparing the two saying "The 5 star French restaurants are so much better than Applebees that American restaurants all suck and should be more like the French." and listing the high dollar, or high euro since it's France, snobby, pretentious French food.
2013-03-04 08:22:16 PM  
1 votes:
This guy deserves to be shot in the face ordering in the drive thru of a Jack In the Box.  Even the people at the supermarket should drop a deuce in his shopping bags.

I don't want to eat at anymore NYC restaurants just because I might run into this asshole and slay him in some horrendous, front page worthy fashion.
2013-03-04 08:21:06 PM  
1 votes:

timujin: (And in France, I've been baffled to get turned away from an entirely empty establishment at 6 p.m. because all tables are already reserved - for diners who intend to show up at 7:30 or 8 or 8:15. Don't they want my money in the meantime?)

Maybe they picked up on the fact that you're a pretentious dick and couldn't be bothered to deal with you.


You mean they thought he was French too?

Not wanting to agree, but sometimes even whinging twunts have a point because even though he isn't really on point about most of the small places I have been to I do agree that the places where waiting is reduced to a set of rules that enforce an overly-interactive experience are abhorrent to me and I hate even more that the people I can get to (staff) have absolutely no control over how annoying they have to be to keep their shiatty jobs and the people who actually deserve to be eviscerated with a mad badger (management/ownagement) I can't touch because who can get to these bastards in their beach chalets and massive yachts when even a brainy, meaty person such as myself can't even get more than a fortnight's vacation time and who can afford to save enough to stay at a decent hotel so you can relax while you're on your mad revenge-fueled spree on the wages you get these days I mean really it's enough to make you go mental it really is.
2013-03-04 08:16:49 PM  
1 votes:
Well, someone's bitter.
2013-03-04 08:01:05 PM  
1 votes:
how do we summon 'sponsored link, no comments allowed'?
 
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