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(NYPost)   Hello, my name is Jason and I'll be your server tonight. Our special is the whiniest article about waiters you'll read this year. It's served over a bed of snobbery with a NYPost glaze. And just so you know, there is a tipping wank surcharge   (nypost.com) divider line 73
    More: Dumbass, party service  
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16818 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 7:56 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-03-04 07:52:49 PM
11 votes:
Actually, it's an entirely predictable article written by someone who's merely been instructed to generate page hits and knows that anything remotely tipping-related is one of the five easiest trolls to pull off on the internet.
2013-03-04 08:07:59 PM
8 votes:
FTFA: <i>It's the difference between a country where the children act like grown-ups and one where the grown-ups act like children.</i>

No, it's the difference between a country with a minimum wage you can actually live off and a minimum wage that has to be supplemented by desperate begging and even then isn't enough to cover everything.
2013-03-04 07:51:01 PM
6 votes:
(And in France, I've been baffled to get turned away from an entirely empty establishment at 6 p.m. because all tables are already reserved - for diners who intend to show up at 7:30 or 8 or 8:15. Don't they want my money in the meantime?)

Maybe they picked up on the fact that you're a pretentious dick and couldn't be bothered to deal with you.
2013-03-04 09:30:26 PM
5 votes:
As a chef, I judge places when I go in. I watch the waitstaff, the menu, specials, staffing on the floor, layout, bar, drinks, how long the food takes, presentation, the whole nine. I am a professional, so it behooves me to see how others are doing things, compare and contrast, maybe see if they're trying something that I haven't seen before, or something I have seen before, but are doing better or worse than some. I watch, I take mental notes, if the waitstaff take too long, or do something out of line, or do something that is particularly good, I take a moment to mention it to the manager. Usually after I leave, because no one wants to make a scene and take time away from their watching their own floor.

That being said, there are places I don't go, because the waitstaff are terrible. There are places I don't go because the food isn't to my liking--style, presentation, just plain quality issues. It's not a big deal to go to a place, and realize that it's not your cup of tea. My current favorite is a little breakfast place, they do sandwiches, for lunch, nothing special, but the coffee's good, and the waitstaff let me read and work in peace, and I tip them well enough that they have my coffee and order out fair quick and with a smile. As a customer, you have to communicate your needs to the staff. Being a douche about it isn't really the way to do that.

On the first time through, the staff aren't going to know what you need, unless you communicate with them. There are ways to communicate, "Turn down the hard sell" that aren't douchey. Sometimes that means actually communicating with the staff as people, which our Dear Author seems loathe to do, and instead rely on their magic powerz to read his thoughts and dreams and lay out the perfect experience for him by dint of his sterling reputation as an International Man of Mystery. Maybe he has simply ignored the signs that he's about to walk into a fern bar with plastic plants and smiles, but the staff are doing what their management are trying to project. You can short circuit that, or if the whole staff is on board with it like a chain restaurant that is about to pull out some recockulous cocktails served in special glasses with multicoloered straws and there's a dancing fountain, maybe you might want to rethink your lunch plans. Or go with it, and have a good time, and laugh with the poor bastiches who are enduring the Kahunaville experience, every soul crushing day, and maybe not be a dick about it.

Waitstaff can't read your mind. They will learn your preferences soon enough, if you keep coming back, and aren't a dick. If you don't like the atmosphere, then don't return. Not returning is your vote, being a dick that you're not having a good time because you weren't met with adoration and the "perfect" service that you imagine in your deepest wellspring of the soul, but can't communicate with mere mortals, isn't justified, it just means you're a dick.

It's only food, man. It's lunch. It's dinner. Find places you like, and actually communicate with the staff instead of looking at them as interchangeable cogs. Or servants. Maybe, just maybe, get over the entitlement that YOUR money buys service, and understand that in a good joint, it's ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentleman, and maybe you should act out your role as such.
2013-03-04 08:12:11 PM
4 votes:
The tone of the article makes the author sound like a real ass, but he is right about one thing. Waiters can sometimes be too over the top. I do like the fact that they provide us with their name - seems like common courtesy. But what I really don't like are those waiters with too much personality. You know the type. They can't wait to show everyone at the table how witty they are ("The fish is so fresh, as soon as you give me your order, I phone it in to our guy who's at the pier with his fishing pole!"), and they start spewing hyperbole when describing certain dishes ("If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life, it would be this caramel pudding cake. LITERALLY! There's nothing on the face of the earth that can compare to this miracle.")

Yes Mr. Waiter, I do appreciate your assistance, but I didn't choose to dine with you. I chose to dine with the other people in my party. I really don't want to feel obligated to laugh at your jokes, and I don't want to be your friend. I'd like for you to just assist the people in my party to have a nice time. You aren't part of the party, so please don't act like you are. Thank you.
2013-03-04 06:11:32 PM
4 votes:
Strangely, New York waitrons (my generic term for both sexes of waitstaff) don't even serve anything anymore.

Uh, there are already several gender neutral terms for that. In fact you actually used one in the definition of your made-up word.
2013-03-04 11:43:43 PM
3 votes:

MayoBoy: It was poor planning or miscommunication on their part as well as slow service from the kitchen.  Our check for 4 (2 adults, 2 children) was ~120.00 and the waitress got 160.00.  Reservation was for 5:15 and they ran the credit card at 8:15 (while we were still eating dessert).  I know that they'd like to turn a table over every 60-90 minutes but we spent at least that much time waiting for our food.


3 hours for a 5:15 four-top, two of which are children, and it's the restaurant's doing?  Shenannigans.  They sat you with the expectation that you would be gone by the time the party that had that table reserved at 7:00 showed up.  One or all of the following had to have happened:

1. You showed up at 5:45 for your 5:15 reservation.
2. You refused to order for 45 minutes after being seated while you "decided" and "took your time".
3. You refused to let the server course your food, and insisted on waiting until your first course came out before you'd order your second.
4. You spent 2 hours with your cold, wilted entree plates in front of you while you interacted with your kids.
5. You needed 30 minutes to "digest" before you would even look at the dessert menu.

If your food had actually taken 90-120 minutes to come out, your entire meal would have been comped, because it would have felt like a year from your perspective and you would have been right to complain.  It's far more likely that you screwed up the night for both the restaurant, and numerous other guests by taking an unreasonable amount of time at the table. Be more considerate.  How would you feel if you made a 7:00, showed up on time, and had to wait until 7:45 to be seated?

Yogimus: Fart_Machine: gregscott: Has anybody mentioned yet that since tipping is done by percentage, that there is no legitimate reason for them to inflate from 10 to 20 percent in the last 40 years?

How much do you believe servers make even at the "inflated" rate of 20%?

Discuss your wages with your employer, not your customer.


Restaurants don't work the way you want them to.  Service is not included in the menu price in the US. You're expected, (yes, expected,by everyone involved in the transaction) to tip 15-20% for adequate-excellent service. That's what eating out entails in this society. Get the fark over it.

gregscott: Has anybody mentioned yet that since tipping is done by percentage, that there is no legitimate reason for them to inflate from 10 to 20 percent in the last 40 years? Because, I will, if nobody else has.


Perhaps that's because you're wrong.

Our economy shifted from industrial to largely service-based around 40 years ago.  Since that time, there has been a nationwide push to improve service standards across the board.  It spawned an entire genre, known as "casual fine-dining", to which essentially all good restaurants now belong.  Today, the middle class has access to the kind of restaurant experience that only the wealthy used to.

Also, with inflation outpacing real wages, and food cost rising, restaurants have had to keep menu prices artificially low to be accessible to the middle class.  This has shifted the burden of paying for the increased server training, manager oversight, etc to the guest in the form of a higher tipping standard.

Basically, you're being asked to pay a little more for much better service than you could have afforded in 1960.  You have nothing to cry about.
2013-03-04 10:52:58 PM
3 votes:
Ever notice how the people who never had to work in the service industry or ever worked for tips are always the ones who gripe about how much they have to tip?

/fed four kids on waiting tables, and you have to be farking lousy to get less than 20% from me...
2013-03-04 09:33:52 PM
3 votes:
I love it when people who sit on their ass and do jack and shiat for a living biatch about tipping waiters and waitresses because "they haven't earned it".......

If you think all they do is walk a ticket to the kitchen and drop your food at your table then you should ask Santa Claus for a third brain cell for Christmas to keep the other two company....
2013-03-04 09:05:07 PM
3 votes:
You know, not being a dick should apply to every facet of life as much as possible.  You're no better than the person whose job it is to provide service to you, no matter what your inflated sense of yourself might tell you to the contrary.  Your waiter, your mechanic, the kid who bags your groceries, etc., all have names and families and stuff going on in their lives.  We all think we're kings and queens in America, but the fact is, we rent our servants, and we share our servants, and, come to think of it, they're servers, not servants.  They're people, doing a job, usually a kinda shiatty one, so just quick being a dick.  All of you, but especially you, Kyle.  You are better than no one.  Would you like a nice big slice of humble pie for desert?  It's on the house.
2013-03-05 02:01:21 AM
2 votes:

Ranger Rover: Fark may not be the best place to seek an education on this, but I can't for the life of me seem to sort out the conflicting things I hear on the employer's obligation to make up the difference between what a waiter pulls in with tips and the minimum wage. I think it's an FLSA obligation, but it may be up to states how they administer it, and therefore what loopholes they provide employers. But if it's true, and actually plays out that way in reality, doesn't that more or less eliminate a lot of what servers gripe about? Or at least put them squarely in line with other people working difficult jobs for minimum wage?

/my guess is that it doesn't actually play out that way in reality.
//new here, so maybe this has been hashed out ad nauseam; if so, apologies.


Unless you're talking about small-town diners, or holes in the wall where business is REALLY slow and prices are REALLY cheap, NO server is really making less than minimum wage.  And in the instances where someone is hard-up enough to work at a place where it might happen, they're going to be advised not to seek compensation from their employer or face being fired for something "totally unrelated".

This is a red herring argument, regardless.   Waiting tables is not, and should not be, a minimum wage job because people don't want to be waited on by the kind of people who would work for minimum wage.  People don't get into restaurant because they "have no other choice"... they get into it because it's a job where, for a few concessions (like health insurance, and job security) one can make quite a bit of money in a short time, with a flexible schedule.  (Or in my case a whole freaking lot of money over many years, if you have the stamina for it.)

As one small example, if you have a severe food allergy, your waiter pretty much has the power of life and death over you.  Given this, do you really think it's wise to populate restaurants with your average minimum wage employee who won't give half a fark if you die of anaphylaxis, because hey... they can make the same money at McDonalds?
2013-03-04 11:34:35 PM
2 votes:
Okay, here's hoping I can bring something unique to these discussions, but I doubt it, and everyone with bigger brains will proceed to tell me I'm wrong, but here goes the ol' college try..

I will always tip 20% if I'm in the States, because the tip is a part of their wages. I said it. I do it. And to Canucks who think it's okay to lowball on the tip because you're old, or whatever, I have nothing to say but "What the fark is wrong with you? You're in another goddamn country for fark's sake!"

But being from Canada, where the servers make minimum wage...
And having worked in a service industry position for years that did NOT include tips. (I slaved away at a Chapters for years. It's like a Canadian Barnes & Noble)
Which, in my opinion, despite how wrong you're certainly going to tell me I am, is equally as difficult as waiting tables.
(Lifting heavy shiat, check. Terrible, entitled customers, check. Having to smile until your face muscles hurt even though you could care less if they live to see sundown, check.

Just a brief highlight reel:

The broad who said we should have to give her free stuff as we had a display that offended her.
The American broad who said it was her god given right to pay the US price on the cover of the books...in CANADA (Where the prices were cheaper with the exchange rate, you moron)
The people who are clearly photocopying entire sections of the store, a couple of books at a time...exchanging different books every 29 days.
The people who need need NEED that one book that they can't be bothered to remember a title or an author or a year or a subject, but they know damn well it's RED.
The people who tell you that you've ruined their Christmas because they came in on the 23rd of December and I can't magically pull a copy of Foley Is Good out of my ass for their spoiled rotten hellspawn who get to type multiple-page lists and expect every last item to be under the tree.

The management who expect you to turn up 15 minutes early on your own dime and leave 15 minutes later on your own dime (Seriously, fark you. Pay me.)

For six bucks an hour...I toiled...

And I never got one lousy, rotten, stinking tip.

So...why do you feel you deserve one, just because you serve stuff you can eat instead of stuff you read?

You may now proceed to tell me what an asshole I am who just doesn't "get it..."
2013-03-04 10:38:27 PM
2 votes:
Hey, asshole, if you're writing an entire article about how the "servants" are trying to be friendly to you, that might be a clue you need to fark off and die, and I speak as an introvert with Asperger's for whom that interaction is actually borderline hell.
2013-03-04 10:35:18 PM
2 votes:
Has anybody mentioned yet that since tipping is done by percentage, that there is no legitimate reason for them to inflate from 10 to 20 percent in the last 40 years? Because, I will, if nobody else has.
2013-03-04 09:11:48 PM
2 votes:
you know who has good waitresses? waffle house. my coffee's never empty, my order's always right, they're no-nonsense about writing down what i want to eat, and if i'm sitting there for a while after finishing they'll refill my coffee again and ask if i want anything else. otherwise they ignore me. i didn't see the article as tipping-related, but those ladies (they always are) earn their 20-25%.

/"these creepy ex-darlings of their high-school theater departments"nails the average wait-person, even at chili's or some such, so very well.
2013-03-04 09:01:12 PM
2 votes:

SirEattonHogg: If its a pricey place, I like waiters with a smile, being polite and especially knowledgeable about the food.  That last part is important.  If I ask for a recommendation, please don't tell me everything is good.  That's bullshiat.   You suggest a good dish and wine pairing, that's an automatic increase in the tip.

I personally don't like the overly familiar waiter with the jokes.  I thought the writer sounded like a real a-hole, but he's correct on one point - I'm not dining with the waiter.

The only exception is if I'm eating at the bar and the bartender is serving.  OR the waiter is like the cute Asian waitress I had in Santa Monica a few days ago.  She was good looking and slighty flirty (I dont care if she was just trolling for tips - it worked).


I'm getting a kick out of everyone here that thinks waitstaff has a secret book that tells them the criteria for each customer.

'Oooooh! It's "Bob". Remember, he wants you to be knowledgeable, but not friendly. Wait guys, we have to see where he sits, because if he sits at the bar, THEN he wants you to be his buddy. Oh, I almost forgot, if he sits in Soon-Yi's section, she's supposed to flirt with him. But nobody else, OK? Wow, it's a good thing we have this written down for every potential customer on the planet, isn't it?'.
2013-03-04 08:41:54 PM
2 votes:
There's a local fine dining place, part of a smallish corporate chain, that I eat at once or twice a week. Love the food, and the service is impeccable.

The corp management enforces the relentlessly cheerful attitude, and when I'm eating at the bar, I sometimes see customers acting like complete dicks.  One of the bartenders has started writing cranky/funny notes about them on napkins and sliding them under the edge of my plate while I'm dining.

Sometimes I'll find a way to annoy the person bothering her.  One guy who had to be in his 60s was relentlessly hitting on her (she's around 25 and stunning). Asking for her home address (so he could drop by!), etc.  I spotted his wedding ring, asked him if he was married.  Asked him if he had any pictures of his wife. Said I thought she was hot, do they swing, we should do a threesome.

She and the other bartender just about died trying to keep from laughing.
2013-03-04 08:22:09 PM
2 votes:

teeny: Holy shiat. What a pretentious douchebag.


No, no... Kyle isn't pretentious. He's just a little bit better than most people, because he "...tries to spend a week or two every year" in France. I don't know how you missed his suave internationalism, as he managed to offhandedly mention it twice in a very short article, with the same phony-casual manner in which television cops use chopsticks to eat Chinese food.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 08:14:38 PM
2 votes:
they start spewing hyperbole when describing certain dishes

Some of their enthusiasm is scripted and mandatory, at least in the midrange chains.
2013-03-04 08:01:20 PM
2 votes:
"Strangely, New York waitrons (my generic term for both sexes of waitstaff) don't even serve anything anymore. "

I bet you eat a lot of spit
2013-03-04 08:00:57 PM
2 votes:
Headline of the year material lol, loved it.
2013-03-04 08:00:45 PM
2 votes:
Ugh, go away Kyle Smith. Forget being punchable, he has the kind of face that makes you want to sink a rusty screwdriver into it.
2013-03-05 10:28:55 AM
1 votes:

untaken_name: If you're working for someone else, you are likely not making money.


Funny... when I work, I get a paycheck that I can exchange for money.  Generally, it's more than enough for me to be happy and have the things I want!   Maybe you're doing it wrong?

Let me help:

Employment Contract
for untaken_name


I would like to be paid in:

Poker Chips    [  ]
Mike and Ikes [  ]
Poop              [  ]
US Dollars      [X]
2013-03-05 10:28:39 AM
1 votes:
Waiters, just please bring me my food, and I'll tip 20%. I hardly tip less.  If you are going to create this much drama (either party) over a meal or a few bucks, you should stay at home.
2013-03-05 09:38:47 AM
1 votes:

MythDragon: but 15% is fair for good service. Great service gets you more. Fair service gets you less, and anything under gets you nothing. (You lose. Good day, sir.)


Not scolding you, but this can vary both geographically and with the quality of restaurant.  18% is a more common benchmark for "good" in nice places.  15% often communicates "barely adequate".  You may not care, but if you leave 15% in a fine restaurant it will most likely be interpreted as you being underwhelmed at your experience, and if your server gave you good service, he will probably be somewhat offended at the implication.

Do as you will, but if you get a lot of warm hellos and cold goodbyes, you might find that tossing an extra buck or two in the check presenter makes a big difference.  I know it seems silly being such a small amount of money most of the time.. it's more about the message the money sends than the money's value.
2013-03-05 08:49:22 AM
1 votes:
Eh, I've been in the bar biz too long; but I don't need to hear another "In my county, we don't...".  Really.  Go fark yourself.  You have the internet, there is a thing called Google, and it's a ten second search to find out the tipping/hospitality culture ANYWHERE.  I live in the US, and I'll check out what's customary where ever I go on a trip; be it New Orleans, Toronto, or Tokyo - just to ensure I have a good time and be less of a putz to the locals.

If you don't like the experience of going out, stay at home.  The rest of the establishment will thank you, patron and staff alike.  If you want a servant, hit the lotto and hire Jeeves or go to some shady rent-a-sub for a chew toy.

That said, there are a hundred different ways for management to screw a server or bartender, and in Florida most of them are at least quasi-legal.  Very few people in the front of the house actually bring much or anything home on their paychecks, so yes, they very well are living on their tips.  People who complain... well, they don't last long in the business.
2013-03-05 07:35:34 AM
1 votes:

Ebbelwoi: The system by and large works pretty well.


You are used to being lied to
(the price is X, you pay X$)
It works pretty well when you remove it too

Give it a shot, OR, campaign or write sternly written letters to return the minimum wage laws without restriction.
It works pretty well in nations with much larger, and much smaller populations.

Currently working for communist China, I am from Socialist New Zealand. The US system is busted on LOTS of levels, but .. some probably wont notice until later. US society is FULL of lies regarding prices for products. I bought a car in the US a few years back I was SHOCKED that the price advertised was not accurate, I assumed honesty and did not find it, I did the same with my land there, and the birth of my daughter there.... QUESTION your society, and all others, but the single fault in all societies is that the masses do not question.

Stop to question WHY
2013-03-05 04:42:12 AM
1 votes:

Great Janitor: I like the ability to refer to my waiter/waitress by name.  It makes building rapport between the two of us easier.


Why do you need to build rapport with someone whose function in your life is to tell someone what food you want and bring it to you when it's ready? Do you feel a need to build rapport with taxi drivers, postmen and rubbish collectors?
2013-03-05 04:01:03 AM
1 votes:

Ebbelwoi: Nobody hits a restaurant at 18:00


I do

Usually get good service too

I tip two different ways, 20% if I enjoyed the service, 0% if I did not (I warn first).
I tip because I WANT to, if it is demanded of me it will ALWAYS be 0%

It is for service, that is all (if the food sucks I still tip, but I do not return)

// I still think this industry is pretty farked up, I dine in many countries, I only tip in North America
2013-03-05 04:00:35 AM
1 votes:
funcorner.eu

Most of the gay waiters which is most of the waiters in the OC are from Laguna Beach which took the title as AIDS capital of California from Frisco in '89. If you're visiting Disneyland and don't want to be ingesting HIV then it would behoove you to be as nice as possible to your waiter. Don't believe any of the we don't spit in the food bullshiat in the article.
2013-03-05 01:37:31 AM
1 votes:

Martstar: You know, not being a dick should apply to every facet of life as much as possible.  You're no better than the person whose job it is to provide service to you, no matter what your inflated sense of yourself might tell you to the contrary.  Your waiter, your mechanic, the kid who bags your groceries, etc., all have names and families and stuff going on in their lives.  We all think we're kings and queens in America, but the fact is, we rent our servants, and we share our servants, and, come to think of it, they're servers, not servants.  They're people, doing a job, usually a kinda shiatty one, so just quick being a dick.  All of you, but especially you, Kyle.  You are better than no one.  Would you like a nice big slice of humble pie for desert?  It's on the house.



Yah, no matter how powerful,rich, or famous you are there will always be a time when you can be caught sitting on the can, mid turd, vulnerable, helpless and ashamed. We're all equal.
2013-03-05 01:07:45 AM
1 votes:

Mikey1969: Iplaybass: I'm glad tipping is not customary here. Staff get paid a reasonable wage, so despite their suggestions that we should tip, the vast majority of us don't. Those that do might leave 2 or 3 bucks, tops.

I think the whole idea of tipping is a bit strange. You have an employer. I give them money when I purchase food/services. Let them pay you. I shouldn't have to!

I still tip when I'm in a country where it's customary.

Not only do the restaurants pay absolute shiat, they lobby and fight to continue paying that wage every time minimum wage goes up. It was $2.11/hr in '90 when I started waiting tables, and the people have gotten a 2 cent raise in 22 years.


I'm glad to see servers aware of this. I tip and tip well, because taking these issues out on out waitstaff is ridiculous, but there is a legitimate concern in this country (and not only in food service, the percentage of Wal-Mart workers on welfare is a further indication) with big companies gleefully getting their customers, who already pay for their products, to further subsidize the fact that they refuse to pay livable wages. Where it gets the most frustrating is when servers seek to characterize it as a two-way battle - between themselves, working for substandard wages in admittedly tough conditions, and penny-pinching customers who are cheap if twenty percent isn't their low standard for average or even below-average service. While Darden and it's ilk sit back and do the "eeeexxxxceelllent" Mr. Burns thing with their hands.
2013-03-05 12:17:07 AM
1 votes:
News flash: tips were a major part of wages 40 years ago. If you want to tip 20%, fine. But you can't make an argument that 20% a reasonable minimum for merely nominal service. If you take my order, get it right, and are polite, you have merely done you job. It takes excellence to deserve more.

FWIW, I've even heard of positions in fancy/expensive restaurants where there was not wage at all it was a concession. Maybe in some cases they even paid for the opportunity to provide service.
2013-03-04 11:59:36 PM
1 votes:

Z-clipped: Restaurants don't work the way you want them to. Service is not included in the menu price in the US. You're expected, (yes, expected,by everyone involved in the transaction) to tip 15-20% for adequate-excellent service. That's what eating out entails in this society. Get the fark over it.


I did get over it. Then I left a buck. Take it up with your employer.
2013-03-04 11:42:34 PM
1 votes:
So, I have to ask: Where in god's name do you people go that the waiters are such an issue? I don't eat out routinely; but fairly often, and I have NEVER had an issue with overly-friendly or inanely perky waitstaff as everyone seems to be describing here. Once in a while, there might be a waitress who hovers or a busser who wants to clear the table too soon; but really, who cares? I'd rather have that than the waiter who takes my order and then vanishes for the next 14 hours.

And if you can't drive off an overeager waiter with a polite but icy "We're fine. Thank you." then you weren't raised up right, and you need some lessons from a Southern grandmother. You're not obliged to be best friends with Jason the Waitperson, but you don't have to be a dick about it either. And you for sure don't have to be a pretentious douchebag in your blog. Eat your food and then don't go back to that restaurant anymore. Why do people have to make such a tempest in a teapot about it?
2013-03-04 11:31:40 PM
1 votes:

Mitch Taylor's Bro: xaks: Now, maybe I'm the ... unwashed masses here. I could very well be. Not even arguing that part. BUT...

MayoBoy: It was poor planning or miscommunication on their part as well as slow service from the kitchen.  Our check for 4 (2 adults, 2 children) was ~120.00 and the waitress got 160.00.  Reservation was for 5:15 and they ran the credit card at 8:15 (while we were still eating dessert).  I know that they'd like to turn a table over every 60-90 minutes but we spent at least that much time waiting for our food.


I can't even begin to describe how much I find unacceptable in this post. I'm a fairly competent home cook, and even WITH cleanup AND prep I make nothing that could take this long, excluding things that are *let sit in the crockpot for 6+ hours* or "let stock simmer and reduce, casually skimming off fat .for 2 hours".

Seriously? You take up a table at a restaurant for *three farking HOURS* and that's OK? And you waited 60 to 90 minutes for your food? The fark? Did you order Himalayan Virgin Sweat Hors'Devours with a side of bull testicle ovary sauce or something?

Cooking the food was probably the least of the service problems.


I know, that's the point.

I've also worked in four different commercial kitchens in various capacities over the years. I *get* how the back of the house actually works.

But...60 to 90 minutes to get your food? 3 Hours at a table?

I cannot even conceive this in a restaurant with a working budget, unless you're charging 5-star rates for 3 star food.
2013-03-04 11:00:26 PM
1 votes:
If you have a problem with the mechanics of the service tip well and tell the management about it you smug dipshiat.

Don't blame the server for something they are  required to do.
2013-03-04 11:00:08 PM
1 votes:

The My Little Pony Killer: If you don't want to be bothered during dinner, either go to McDonald's, order in, or cook for yourself. Until then, I am going to smile and ask you if you enjoyed your meal.


My god... it's like you're like Osama bin Hitler or something.
2013-03-04 10:43:55 PM
1 votes:

Fart_Machine: gregscott: Has anybody mentioned yet that since tipping is done by percentage, that there is no legitimate reason for them to inflate from 10 to 20 percent in the last 40 years?

How much do you believe servers make even at the "inflated" rate of 20%?


Discuss your wages with your employer, not your customer.
2013-03-04 10:12:54 PM
1 votes:
Mikey1969 I'm getting a kick out of everyone here that thinks waitstaff has a secret book that tells them the criteria for each customer.

'Oooooh! It's "Bob". Remember, he wants you to be knowledgeable, but not friendly. Wait guys, we have to see where he sits, because if he sits at the bar, THEN he wants you to be his buddy. Oh, I almost forgot, if he sits in Soon-Yi's section, she's supposed to flirt with him. But nobody else, OK? Wow, it's a good thing we have this written down for every potential customer on the planet, isn't it?'.


So not making you fake smile, act like my friend and joke with me is a bad thing? Just to do your job. And if its a pricey place, asking you to know the frigging menu and what you recommend is asking too much?  Jeezus, where the hell are you a waiter at?  Bennigans?  TGIF?

If I am paying 100+ for 2 people, I am not there for your friendly banter, but for you to do your job.
2013-03-04 10:05:50 PM
1 votes:

Yogimus: Mikey1969: Not only do the restaurants pay absolute shiat, they lobby and fight to continue paying that wage every time minimum wage goes up. It was $2.11/hr in '90 when I started waiting tables, and the people have gotten a 2 cent raise in 22 years.

So don't work for tips.


I don't any more. I got tired of entitled assholes who think they own the place because they spent $30.

Doesn't mean that I don't understand what these people go through, and that I'm not above tipping for good service, since I understand what they actually do. Hint: It's not just sitting around waiting until you show up for your special service.
2013-03-04 10:00:23 PM
1 votes:

mahuika: Strangely, New York waitrons (my generic term for both sexes of waitstaff) don't even serve anything anymore.

Uh, there are already several gender neutral terms for that. In fact you actually used one in the definition of your made-up word.


Reminds me idiots that come up with words like cisgender (vs transgender) to mean people who are still their born gender. (derrrrr I sound smart like an organic chemist!)
2013-03-04 09:59:36 PM
1 votes:

MayoBoy: Serious question:  At a white linen tablecloth restaurant with a party of 13.  While waiting for our deserts, a waitress other than ours comes up to me and asks if she can buy me a drink at the bar.  Am I supposed to know that is a special code for "I want to talk to you in private and tell you to hurry up because we have lots of people waiting in the bar for tables"?

We hadn't even gotten our check yet, much less our desert.  Am I right to be pissed off about it?


No, you're not right to be pissed off about it because it's a trivial and non-insulting request that shows she's trying to balance your needs with the needs of other guests.

You certianly don't have to comply, but getting all butt hurt about it makes you look like a giant douche bag.
2013-03-04 09:58:26 PM
1 votes:
This idiot writer managed to make a big enough asshole of himself that the thread isn't completely dominated by people airing their restaurant grievances and complaining about tipping culture?... I think that might be a first.

Here's to you, Mr. Pretentious-Inflammatory-Whining-and-Making-No-Actual-Point-Guy!
2013-03-04 09:55:30 PM
1 votes:

MayoBoy: Serious question:  At a white linen tablecloth restaurant with a party of 13.  While waiting for our deserts, a waitress other than ours comes up to me and asks if she can buy me a drink at the bar.  Am I supposed to know that is a special code for "I want to talk to you in private and tell you to hurry up because we have lots of people waiting in the bar for tables"?

We hadn't even gotten our check yet, much less our desert.  Am I right to be pissed off about it?


Doesn't matter if the restaurant has tablecloths or not, or what they're made of. That isn't acceptable. If you guys have been done for an hour, and are JUST having drinks, then MAYBE your server(Or the manager) tactfully asks if they can free up the table because they have customers that need it, but tact is more important than freeing up the table, and if they feel like they are inconveniencing you at all, then a round of drinks may be in order.

You can ask this, but like I said, you have to be done with everything but drinks, be regulars that people feel comfortable asking this of, or something similar.

**I DO have to say that I hate campers, though. The people who sit at your table and order coffee refill after coffee refill and sit at your table for another hour or two after they've paid, and expect you to keep filling that coffee, or just let them sit there, and then be ready to jump at a moment's notice when they suddenly decide that they have sat at the table so long that they're hungry again, and decide they want to order a side of fries or some such shiat. This is particularly bad when the restaurant s closed, and everything is done but this *one* table, especially when last call is sneaking up...**

I know this isn't what you were describing, I just felt the need to vent.
2013-03-04 09:47:35 PM
1 votes:

frontwheeldriver: //it is the restaurant owner/management who force unnatural cheerfulness and mandatory scripts wait staff most of the time


This, a hundred billion times this. I waited tables for 8 years, I would  love to be everything Kyle Smith wants: no socialization of any kind, call me if you need me. Unfortunately the demand for that type of service is low - does this dude think these people actually give a damn about him and want to be his friend?
2013-03-04 09:39:56 PM
1 votes:

MayoBoy: Serious question:  At a white linen tablecloth restaurant with a party of 13.  While waiting for our deserts, a waitress other than ours comes up to me and asks if she can buy me a drink at the bar.  Am I supposed to know that is a special code for "I want to talk to you in private and tell you to hurry up because we have lots of people waiting in the bar for tables"?

We hadn't even gotten our check yet, much less our desert.  Am I right to be pissed off about it?


I'd be pissed to. I'm not the type to sit around after finishing my meal, but if I'm still eating or having a cup of coffee after my meal I could give a rats ass how many people are waiting, I waited my turn they can wait theirs.
2013-03-04 09:37:10 PM
1 votes:

MayoBoy: Serious question:  At a white linen tablecloth restaurant with a party of 13.  While waiting for our deserts, a waitress other than ours comes up to me and asks if she can buy me a drink at the bar.  Am I supposed to know that is a special code for "I want to talk to you in private and tell you to hurry up because we have lots of people waiting in the bar for tables"?

We hadn't even gotten our check yet, much less our desert.  Am I right to be pissed off about it?


At any place I've ever worked that waitress would be fired.
2013-03-04 09:26:22 PM
1 votes:

Mikey1969: NobleHam: I have to agree. I don't want my waiter to have personality unless I ask him a question involving his or her opinion of a dish. A really good waiter should be almost unnoticeable, but accessible when needed.

Because at $2.13/hr they have time to be there just for you.


Weird, many can do this JUST fine.
2013-03-04 09:24:43 PM
1 votes:
I don't like an overly eager waiter/waitress either. No need to ask me if everything's alright every 5 minutes, just look over at my table every now and then and if I need you I'll flag you down. Just make sure you actually do that, nothing more annoying than sitting there for 10 minutes waiting for your server to quit chatting up the cute bartender long enough to glance my way.
2013-03-04 09:22:57 PM
1 votes:

Mikey1969: Not only do the restaurants pay absolute shiat, they lobby and fight to continue paying that wage every time minimum wage goes up. It was $2.11/hr in '90 when I started waiting tables, and the people have gotten a 2 cent raise in 22 years.


So don't work for tips.
2013-03-04 09:18:59 PM
1 votes:
I have to agree. I don't want my waiter to have personality unless I ask him a question involving his or her opinion of a dish. A really good waiter should be almost unnoticeable, but accessible when needed.
2013-03-04 09:11:35 PM
1 votes:

Mikey1969:
Why don't you go ahead and write that down on a notecard and hand it out the next time you eat at a restaurant, since psychic ability is NOT a prerequisite for the job. Also keep in mind that people would rather have an over the top server than a sullen jerk. Your waiter isn't actually THAT happy to see you, but he has a job to do, and part of that job is to make a couple of hundred different people happy every night.


No, I don't expect them to be psychics. What I DO expect is that they have a modicum of emotional intelligence, which may lead them to the conclusion that THEY aren't supposed to be the center of attention at our gathering, and I didn't show up at the restaurant to see their "act". I'd like for them to be helpful and courteous. That's more than enough to keep most people happy.

Of course I would rather have an over the top server than a sullen jerk, but why are there only two choices? Perhaps you weren't aware that it's possible for a waiter not to be over the top, and also not be a sullen jerk. Amazing, huh?

If my waiter isn't THAT happy to see me, I would really appreciate it if he didn't put on the phony face and voice and treat me like I were his long lost friend. A helpful attitude is all that I ask for. Don't try to be witty. Don't kiss my ass. Don't do anything that might make a reasonable person roll their eyes. That's not too much to ask for . And when waiters are wise enough to do this, I will give, at minimum, a 20% tip.
2013-03-04 09:11:14 PM
1 votes:

Martstar: You know, not being a dick should apply to every facet of life as much as possible.  You're no better than the person whose job it is to provide service to you, no matter what your inflated sense of yourself might tell you to the contrary.  Your waiter, your mechanic, the kid who bags your groceries, etc., all have names and families and stuff going on in their lives.  We all think we're kings and queens in America, but the fact is, we rent our servants, and we share our servants, and, come to think of it, they're servers, not servants.  They're people, doing a job, usually a kinda shiatty one, so just quick being a dick.  All of you, but especially you, Kyle.  You are better than no one.  Would you like a nice big slice of humble pie for desert?  It's on the house.


Yeah, the "servant" thing was absolute bullshiat. If I ran a restaurant, this Guy's picture would be in the back, and the serving staff would still have to treat him politely, but they would not be expected to exert a single erg of extra energy on the dude. Take his order, drop his food, drop his check. If he wonders why the Jones family keeps getting drink refills awhile he has to wait, it's going turn out that THEY never wrote a screed about how "bad" having an attentive waitstaff is.
2013-03-04 09:11:11 PM
1 votes:
Now waitstaff knows what he looks like.
2013-03-04 08:54:21 PM
1 votes:

ISO15693: monstera: I used to wait tables, so I'm really getting a kick out of this...but seriously, I start at 20% and let them work their way down...or up. That's my policy and I recommend it.

20%? For a tip? They'd have to be one heck of a server to earn a double tip.


you are the definition of cheap.
2013-03-04 08:49:53 PM
1 votes:
Kyle Smith is a pedantic, stuck-up, dickwadish, homophobic Masshole from East Longmeadow who can go fark himself with a turbocharged dirt devil.  I hope every server in the USA looks up his picture, and when he visits, wipes their ass on his plate before "serving" it up to him.  But he'd probably secretly like that.

/paid for college waiting tables, and enjoyed 95% of my time with customers
//it is the restaurant owner/management who force unnatural cheerfulness and mandatory scripts wait staff most of the time
///there are bad people in customer service everywhere just as there are nasty, bad people who call themselves "journalists" or "authors"
2013-03-04 08:44:07 PM
1 votes:
The worst part of dealing with American waitrons is we're forced to be nice to these creepy ex-darlings of their high-school theater departments because of the unspoken hostage drama that's taking place behind the scenes with our food.

I
know everyone is raging on the author, but come on, that's comedy gold.
2013-03-04 08:37:17 PM
1 votes:
If its a pricey place, I like waiters with a smile, being polite and especially knowledgeable about the food.  That last part is important.  If I ask for a recommendation, please don't tell me everything is good.  That's bullshiat.   You suggest a good dish and wine pairing, that's an automatic increase in the tip.

I personally don't like the overly familiar waiter with the jokes.  I thought the writer sounded like a real a-hole, but he's correct on one point - I'm not dining with the waiter.

The only exception is if I'm eating at the bar and the bartender is serving.  OR the waiter is like the cute Asian waitress I had in Santa Monica a few days ago.  She was good looking and slighty flirty (I dont care if she was just trolling for tips - it worked).
2013-03-04 08:37:13 PM
1 votes:

timujin: (And in France, I've been baffled to get turned away from an entirely empty establishment at 6 p.m. because all tables are already reserved - for diners who intend to show up at 7:30 or 8 or 8:15. Don't they want my money in the meantime?)

Maybe they picked up on the fact that you're a pretentious dick and couldn't be bothered to deal with you.


Wow, he gushes over how spectacularly awesome the French restaurants are, and then immediately badmouths them? Is there anybody this 'special' farktard can go without biatching about?

I also like how he biatches about how over-attentive the New York servers are, then whines about how they "disappear" when HE decides that he wants to stoop to ordering from them.

"Servant", indeed...
2013-03-04 08:26:52 PM
1 votes:
In France, where I try to spend a week or two every year,

This guy probably uses "summer" as a verb.
2013-03-04 08:26:03 PM
1 votes:

Iplaybass: I think the whole idea of tipping is a bit strange. You have an employer. I give them money when I purchase food/services. Let them pay you. I shouldn't have to!


How DARE you bring logic into a tipping thread! I should spit in your food and throw your steak on the floor!!
2013-03-04 08:25:17 PM
1 votes:

ZAZ: they start spewing hyperbole when describing certain dishes

Some of their enthusiasm is scripted and mandatory, at least in the midrange chains.


Which makes it even more obnoxious than genuine enthusiasm, IMO.

I've done my time in the food service industry. And I have to agree with the writer's message (if not so much his tone). Tell me what I need to know. Answer my questions. Bring me my shiat. And be available should I realize I need something else from you. I'll easily slap 20% down for efficient and practically unnoticeable service. Servers should be like refs--if they're doing they're job right, you forget they're even there. But if you try to be my best friend/a cheerleader/performance art, you'll probably only get 10% (provided you still did the other stuff, too).
2013-03-04 08:23:10 PM
1 votes:

skinink: If you can't hack it at a restaurant, just eat at home. Or go to Planet Hollywood in Times Square. Trust me, the waiters/waitresses aren't as annoying there.


Something tells me he already is.  If he's having to fend off busboys before he's done with his meal, something tells me he's not going to the cooler than cool joints he thinks he is.  Turn and burn is for isn't the m.o. at places that serve $28 slivers of trout.  He's been spending his time at Red Lobster.
2013-03-04 08:21:21 PM
1 votes:

mahuika: Strangely, New York waitrons (my generic term for both sexes of waitstaff) don't even serve anything anymore.

Uh, there are already several gender neutral terms for that. In fact you actually used one in the definition of your made-up word.


I have heard it used. By the most pretentious ass of a manager who ever circled tables at a restaurant.
Back in the late 70's.
His job was to write up the over the top descriptions of the menu items, among other things.
I was a chef, and learned that I did not like him from the other waitstaff.
/He needed permission to enter the kitchen.
//We trained him to ask for it.
///He was one of the first people I ever met who shaved his head because he was going bald. Before it was cool.

Oh, and if you are out there, Monta (his real first name) Naomi did not like you staring at her ample cleavage and she was a Damned Good waitress.
2013-03-04 08:21:06 PM
1 votes:

timujin: (And in France, I've been baffled to get turned away from an entirely empty establishment at 6 p.m. because all tables are already reserved - for diners who intend to show up at 7:30 or 8 or 8:15. Don't they want my money in the meantime?)

Maybe they picked up on the fact that you're a pretentious dick and couldn't be bothered to deal with you.


You mean they thought he was French too?

Not wanting to agree, but sometimes even whinging twunts have a point because even though he isn't really on point about most of the small places I have been to I do agree that the places where waiting is reduced to a set of rules that enforce an overly-interactive experience are abhorrent to me and I hate even more that the people I can get to (staff) have absolutely no control over how annoying they have to be to keep their shiatty jobs and the people who actually deserve to be eviscerated with a mad badger (management/ownagement) I can't touch because who can get to these bastards in their beach chalets and massive yachts when even a brainy, meaty person such as myself can't even get more than a fortnight's vacation time and who can afford to save enough to stay at a decent hotel so you can relax while you're on your mad revenge-fueled spree on the wages you get these days I mean really it's enough to make you go mental it really is.
2013-03-04 08:19:18 PM
1 votes:
2013-03-04 08:17:23 PM
1 votes:
I'm glad tipping is not customary here. Staff get paid a reasonable wage, so despite their suggestions that we should tip, the vast majority of us don't. Those that do might leave 2 or 3 bucks, tops.

I think the whole idea of tipping is a bit strange. You have an employer. I give them money when I purchase food/services. Let them pay you. I shouldn't have to!

I still tip when I'm in a country where it's customary.
2013-03-04 08:06:48 PM
1 votes:
Holy shiat. What a pretentious douchebag. I have zero experience in the food service industry, but if I were a waitress I'd be very tempted to hawk a loogie in his food. What an ass.
2013-03-04 08:06:00 PM
1 votes:
I just had a bad ecperience at a bar, and I thought to myself that I'd be better off just drinking at home.

If you can't hack it at a restaurant, just eat at home. Or go to Planet Hollywood in Times Square. Trust me, the waiters/waitresses aren't as annoying there.
2013-03-04 07:58:25 PM
1 votes:
t1.gstatic.com
2013-03-04 07:57:56 PM
1 votes:
Oh, its this thread again.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:22:41 PM
1 votes:
I've heard "waitrons" around Boston, but not often.

I don't even need to know your name

If she's cute I'll try to remember her name, but I've never followed up.

Once I got a message on my answering machine from a waitress asking for a date and reminding me that we had met at her restaurant a few days ago. Except I never ate at her restaurant or met her. I never knew if she was the victim of a typo or a fake number.
 
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