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(NYPost)   Hello, my name is Jason and I'll be your server tonight. Our special is the whiniest article about waiters you'll read this year. It's served over a bed of snobbery with a NYPost glaze. And just so you know, there is a tipping wank surcharge   (nypost.com) divider line 245
    More: Dumbass, party service  
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16817 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 7:56 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-04 06:11:32 PM
Strangely, New York waitrons (my generic term for both sexes of waitstaff) don't even serve anything anymore.

Uh, there are already several gender neutral terms for that. In fact you actually used one in the definition of your made-up word.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 07:22:41 PM
I've heard "waitrons" around Boston, but not often.

I don't even need to know your name

If she's cute I'll try to remember her name, but I've never followed up.

Once I got a message on my answering machine from a waitress asking for a date and reminding me that we had met at her restaurant a few days ago. Except I never ate at her restaurant or met her. I never knew if she was the victim of a typo or a fake number.
 
2013-03-04 07:51:01 PM
(And in France, I've been baffled to get turned away from an entirely empty establishment at 6 p.m. because all tables are already reserved - for diners who intend to show up at 7:30 or 8 or 8:15. Don't they want my money in the meantime?)

Maybe they picked up on the fact that you're a pretentious dick and couldn't be bothered to deal with you.
 
2013-03-04 07:52:49 PM
Actually, it's an entirely predictable article written by someone who's merely been instructed to generate page hits and knows that anything remotely tipping-related is one of the five easiest trolls to pull off on the internet.
 
2013-03-04 07:57:56 PM
Oh, its this thread again.
 
2013-03-04 07:58:25 PM
t1.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-04 08:00:45 PM
Ugh, go away Kyle Smith. Forget being punchable, he has the kind of face that makes you want to sink a rusty screwdriver into it.
 
2013-03-04 08:00:57 PM
Headline of the year material lol, loved it.
 
2013-03-04 08:01:05 PM
how do we summon 'sponsored link, no comments allowed'?
 
2013-03-04 08:01:20 PM
"Strangely, New York waitrons (my generic term for both sexes of waitstaff) don't even serve anything anymore. "

I bet you eat a lot of spit
 
2013-03-04 08:03:01 PM
Wow. What's that guy's fark handle?
 
2013-03-04 08:06:00 PM
I just had a bad ecperience at a bar, and I thought to myself that I'd be better off just drinking at home.

If you can't hack it at a restaurant, just eat at home. Or go to Planet Hollywood in Times Square. Trust me, the waiters/waitresses aren't as annoying there.
 
2013-03-04 08:06:48 PM
Holy shiat. What a pretentious douchebag. I have zero experience in the food service industry, but if I were a waitress I'd be very tempted to hawk a loogie in his food. What an ass.
 
2013-03-04 08:07:33 PM
I'm shocked that the NY Post writers are whiny douchebags.
 
2013-03-04 08:07:47 PM
i1079.photobucket.com
Son of a B*tch, Kyle
 
2013-03-04 08:07:50 PM
Get a job, morans!

webpages.charter.net
 
2013-03-04 08:07:59 PM
FTFA: <i>It's the difference between a country where the children act like grown-ups and one where the grown-ups act like children.</i>

No, it's the difference between a country with a minimum wage you can actually live off and a minimum wage that has to be supplemented by desperate begging and even then isn't enough to cover everything.
 
2013-03-04 08:09:18 PM
I generally hate the entitled waiter attitude, but this guy is grade A douche
 
2013-03-04 08:10:40 PM

timujin: (And in France, I've been baffled to get turned away from an entirely empty establishment at 6 p.m. because all tables are already reserved - for diners who intend to show up at 7:30 or 8 or 8:15. Don't they want my money in the meantime?)

Maybe they picked up on the fact that you're a pretentious dick and couldn't be bothered to deal with you.


I'm surprised restos in France are even open at 6. But then, they'd expect you to stay for at least two hours.
 
2013-03-04 08:10:40 PM
shiatstain writer writes shiatstain article for shiatstain publication.

*yawn*
 
2013-03-04 08:12:11 PM
The tone of the article makes the author sound like a real ass, but he is right about one thing. Waiters can sometimes be too over the top. I do like the fact that they provide us with their name - seems like common courtesy. But what I really don't like are those waiters with too much personality. You know the type. They can't wait to show everyone at the table how witty they are ("The fish is so fresh, as soon as you give me your order, I phone it in to our guy who's at the pier with his fishing pole!"), and they start spewing hyperbole when describing certain dishes ("If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life, it would be this caramel pudding cake. LITERALLY! There's nothing on the face of the earth that can compare to this miracle.")

Yes Mr. Waiter, I do appreciate your assistance, but I didn't choose to dine with you. I chose to dine with the other people in my party. I really don't want to feel obligated to laugh at your jokes, and I don't want to be your friend. I'd like for you to just assist the people in my party to have a nice time. You aren't part of the party, so please don't act like you are. Thank you.
 
2013-03-04 08:14:03 PM

shotglasss: Get a job, morans!

[webpages.charter.net image 450x600]


That's a 'shop.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 08:14:38 PM
they start spewing hyperbole when describing certain dishes

Some of their enthusiasm is scripted and mandatory, at least in the midrange chains.
 
2013-03-04 08:16:49 PM
Well, someone's bitter.
 
2013-03-04 08:16:55 PM

Atomic Spunk: shotglasss: Get a job, morans!

[webpages.charter.net image 450x600]

That's a 'shop.


Yes, I know. Just thought it would get a chuckle here.
 
2013-03-04 08:17:23 PM
I'm glad tipping is not customary here. Staff get paid a reasonable wage, so despite their suggestions that we should tip, the vast majority of us don't. Those that do might leave 2 or 3 bucks, tops.

I think the whole idea of tipping is a bit strange. You have an employer. I give them money when I purchase food/services. Let them pay you. I shouldn't have to!

I still tip when I'm in a country where it's customary.
 
2013-03-04 08:19:18 PM
 
2013-03-04 08:19:49 PM

Atomic Spunk: The tone of the article makes the author sound like a real ass, but he is right about one thing. Waiters can sometimes be too over the top. I do like the fact that they provide us with their name - seems like common courtesy. But what I really don't like are those waiters with too much personality. You know the type. They can't wait to show everyone at the table how witty they are ("The fish is so fresh, as soon as you give me your order, I phone it in to our guy who's at the pier with his fishing pole!"), and they start spewing hyperbole when describing certain dishes ("If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life, it would be this caramel pudding cake. LITERALLY! There's nothing on the face of the earth that can compare to this miracle.")

Yes Mr. Waiter, I do appreciate your assistance, but I didn't choose to dine with you. I chose to dine with the other people in my party. I really don't want to feel obligated to laugh at your jokes, and I don't want to be your friend. I'd like for you to just assist the people in my party to have a nice time. You aren't part of the party, so please don't act like you are. Thank you.


"Uncle owen the waiterator is out of whack again. got any service droids t' fix this thing up?"snark
 
2013-03-04 08:20:49 PM

Ritley: I generally hate the entitled waiter attitude, but this guy is grade A douche


Everyone involved in the charade is despicable, and the experience of dining out in a large urban centre is what made me learn to cook well and throw memorable dinner parties where the attitude was cheerful and the wine endless.
 
2013-03-04 08:21:06 PM

timujin: (And in France, I've been baffled to get turned away from an entirely empty establishment at 6 p.m. because all tables are already reserved - for diners who intend to show up at 7:30 or 8 or 8:15. Don't they want my money in the meantime?)

Maybe they picked up on the fact that you're a pretentious dick and couldn't be bothered to deal with you.


You mean they thought he was French too?

Not wanting to agree, but sometimes even whinging twunts have a point because even though he isn't really on point about most of the small places I have been to I do agree that the places where waiting is reduced to a set of rules that enforce an overly-interactive experience are abhorrent to me and I hate even more that the people I can get to (staff) have absolutely no control over how annoying they have to be to keep their shiatty jobs and the people who actually deserve to be eviscerated with a mad badger (management/ownagement) I can't touch because who can get to these bastards in their beach chalets and massive yachts when even a brainy, meaty person such as myself can't even get more than a fortnight's vacation time and who can afford to save enough to stay at a decent hotel so you can relax while you're on your mad revenge-fueled spree on the wages you get these days I mean really it's enough to make you go mental it really is.
 
2013-03-04 08:21:21 PM

mahuika: Strangely, New York waitrons (my generic term for both sexes of waitstaff) don't even serve anything anymore.

Uh, there are already several gender neutral terms for that. In fact you actually used one in the definition of your made-up word.


I have heard it used. By the most pretentious ass of a manager who ever circled tables at a restaurant.
Back in the late 70's.
His job was to write up the over the top descriptions of the menu items, among other things.
I was a chef, and learned that I did not like him from the other waitstaff.
/He needed permission to enter the kitchen.
//We trained him to ask for it.
///He was one of the first people I ever met who shaved his head because he was going bald. Before it was cool.

Oh, and if you are out there, Monta (his real first name) Naomi did not like you staring at her ample cleavage and she was a Damned Good waitress.
 
2013-03-04 08:22:06 PM
I used to wait tables, so I'm really getting a kick out of this...but seriously, I start at 20% and let them work their way down...or up. That's my policy and I recommend it.
 
2013-03-04 08:22:09 PM

teeny: Holy shiat. What a pretentious douchebag.


No, no... Kyle isn't pretentious. He's just a little bit better than most people, because he "...tries to spend a week or two every year" in France. I don't know how you missed his suave internationalism, as he managed to offhandedly mention it twice in a very short article, with the same phony-casual manner in which television cops use chopsticks to eat Chinese food.
 
2013-03-04 08:22:16 PM
This guy deserves to be shot in the face ordering in the drive thru of a Jack In the Box.  Even the people at the supermarket should drop a deuce in his shopping bags.

I don't want to eat at anymore NYC restaurants just because I might run into this asshole and slay him in some horrendous, front page worthy fashion.
 
2013-03-04 08:23:10 PM

skinink: If you can't hack it at a restaurant, just eat at home. Or go to Planet Hollywood in Times Square. Trust me, the waiters/waitresses aren't as annoying there.


Something tells me he already is.  If he's having to fend off busboys before he's done with his meal, something tells me he's not going to the cooler than cool joints he thinks he is.  Turn and burn is for isn't the m.o. at places that serve $28 slivers of trout.  He's been spending his time at Red Lobster.
 
2013-03-04 08:23:59 PM
A columnist in New York talking about how he only travels to France, and talking about how great the French waitstaffers are as compared to U.S. waitstaffers, who starts off insulting the U.S. ones and then bashes them.  By the time I finished that smug article I wished there was a way to email a ninja to the writer that upon opening the attachment flung a series of ninja stars into the writer's face.

The only thing to make that article more pretentious or douche-tastic, would be that in France he's dining in 5 star restaurants and in New York he's dining at Applebees and comparing the two saying "The 5 star French restaurants are so much better than Applebees that American restaurants all suck and should be more like the French." and listing the high dollar, or high euro since it's France, snobby, pretentious French food.
 
2013-03-04 08:24:07 PM

monstera: I used to wait tables, so I'm really getting a kick out of this...but seriously, I start at 20% and let them work their way down...or up. That's my policy and I recommend it.


20%? For a tip? They'd have to be one heck of a server to earn a double tip.
 
2013-03-04 08:25:17 PM

ZAZ: they start spewing hyperbole when describing certain dishes

Some of their enthusiasm is scripted and mandatory, at least in the midrange chains.


Which makes it even more obnoxious than genuine enthusiasm, IMO.

I've done my time in the food service industry. And I have to agree with the writer's message (if not so much his tone). Tell me what I need to know. Answer my questions. Bring me my shiat. And be available should I realize I need something else from you. I'll easily slap 20% down for efficient and practically unnoticeable service. Servers should be like refs--if they're doing they're job right, you forget they're even there. But if you try to be my best friend/a cheerleader/performance art, you'll probably only get 10% (provided you still did the other stuff, too).
 
2013-03-04 08:25:45 PM

Barricaded Gunman: teeny: Holy shiat. What a pretentious douchebag.

No, no... Kyle isn't pretentious. He's just a little bit better than most people, because he "...tries to spend a week or two every year" in France. I don't know how you missed his suave internationalism, as he managed to offhandedly mention it twice in a very short article, with the same phony-casual manner in which television cops use chopsticks to eat Chinese food.


It's conceits like "a week or two in France" merits an attribution of "suave internationalism" that really highlights the provincial side of New York City. Hell, I spent a month in France biking, shagging and learning how much wine got me drunk quickest and I was just 19. Learning to appreciate the preparation of good food and better wine came later, and not in NYC.
 
2013-03-04 08:26:03 PM

Iplaybass: I think the whole idea of tipping is a bit strange. You have an employer. I give them money when I purchase food/services. Let them pay you. I shouldn't have to!


How DARE you bring logic into a tipping thread! I should spit in your food and throw your steak on the floor!!
 
2013-03-04 08:26:52 PM
In France, where I try to spend a week or two every year,

This guy probably uses "summer" as a verb.
 
2013-03-04 08:28:23 PM
Hey asshole,it's the server's job to be the friendly face that you associate with the restaurant. They are expected to be friendly, not matter how much of a prick you are. They have to smile and take it when you go into asshole mode. Not only that, they have to walk away from your little shiat-festival and walk up to every other table in the place as if there isn't a giant douche at table #13, because tables don't want to hear you badmouth other customers. Not only that, they can tell when 'Jason's is faking being happy, and tips suffer as a result.

See, I know you have such an inflated sense of self-worth that Jason thinks he has to kiss you ass, the truth is that his job depends on it, and all the rest of his income for the next hour or two depends on it. Most likely,he already figured out that you aren't worth losing sleep over. Imagine the service you'd get if you weren't preceeded by a giant sign that said 'douchebag'.

Of course, this could also be that annoying New Yorker 'I get to be a dick because of where I live.' bullshiat.
 
2013-03-04 08:28:30 PM

D2theMcV: ZAZ: they start spewing hyperbole when describing certain dishes

Some of their enthusiasm is scripted and mandatory, at least in the midrange chains.

Which makes it even more obnoxious than genuine enthusiasm, IMO.

I've done my time in the food service industry. And I have to agree with the writer's message (if not so much his tone). Tell me what I need to know. Answer my questions. Bring me my shiat. And be available should I realize I need something else from you. I'll easily slap 20% down for efficient and practically unnoticeable service. Servers should be like refs--if they're doing they're job right, you forget they're even there. But if you try to be my best friend/a cheerleader/performance art, you'll probably only get 10% (provided you still did the other stuff, too).


I agree with this post. I've done it too, and a career server once whispered to me "for better tips, back the fark off". Sound advice.

Of course, I was just trying to make rent, and not kill time between unsuccesful auditions/blowjobs.
 
2013-03-04 08:28:44 PM
I dig this sushi place I go to. The staff is polite, concise, and to the point. Order a drink? It's out in 3 minutes. The only time they stop by the table is if they notice your drinks are near empty, to bring the food, or when there is an empty plate and take it away.

I like it. They don't make shiatty comments about the weather or anything else. They know I'm there for one thing, and it to check out cute Japanese chicks and eat some goddamn sushi.
 
2013-03-04 08:30:12 PM

ISO15693: monstera: I used to wait tables, so I'm really getting a kick out of this...but seriously, I start at 20% and let them work their way down...or up. That's my policy and I recommend it.

20%? For a tip? They'd have to be one heck of a server to earn a double tip.


For most of the people that I know, 15%-20% is the standard tip. I think that's about the average for dining out in the U.S..
 
2013-03-04 08:36:11 PM

vudukungfu: mahuika: Strangely, New York waitrons (my generic term for both sexes of waitstaff) don't even serve anything anymore.

Uh, there are already several gender neutral terms for that. In fact you actually used one in the definition of your made-up word.

I have heard it used. By the most pretentious ass of a manager who ever circled tables at a restaurant.
Back in the late 70's.
His job was to write up the over the top descriptions of the menu items, among other things.
I was a chef, and learned that I did not like him from the other waitstaff.
/He needed permission to enter the kitchen.
//We trained him to ask for it.
///He was one of the first people I ever met who shaved his head because he was going bald. Before it was cool.

Oh, and if you are out there, Monta (his real first name) Naomi did not like you staring at her ample cleavage and she was a Damned Good waitress.


The hell she didn't, she kept shoving them in my face and jiggling them.
 
2013-03-04 08:36:37 PM

timujin: (And in France, I've been baffled to get turned away from an entirely empty establishment at 6 p.m. because all tables are already reserved - for diners who intend to show up at 7:30 or 8 or 8:15. Don't they want my money in the meantime?)

Maybe they picked up on the fact that you're a pretentious dick and couldn't be bothered to deal with you.


THIS!
 
2013-03-04 08:37:13 PM

timujin: (And in France, I've been baffled to get turned away from an entirely empty establishment at 6 p.m. because all tables are already reserved - for diners who intend to show up at 7:30 or 8 or 8:15. Don't they want my money in the meantime?)

Maybe they picked up on the fact that you're a pretentious dick and couldn't be bothered to deal with you.


Wow, he gushes over how spectacularly awesome the French restaurants are, and then immediately badmouths them? Is there anybody this 'special' farktard can go without biatching about?

I also like how he biatches about how over-attentive the New York servers are, then whines about how they "disappear" when HE decides that he wants to stoop to ordering from them.

"Servant", indeed...
 
2013-03-04 08:37:17 PM
If its a pricey place, I like waiters with a smile, being polite and especially knowledgeable about the food.  That last part is important.  If I ask for a recommendation, please don't tell me everything is good.  That's bullshiat.   You suggest a good dish and wine pairing, that's an automatic increase in the tip.

I personally don't like the overly familiar waiter with the jokes.  I thought the writer sounded like a real a-hole, but he's correct on one point - I'm not dining with the waiter.

The only exception is if I'm eating at the bar and the bartender is serving.  OR the waiter is like the cute Asian waitress I had in Santa Monica a few days ago.  She was good looking and slighty flirty (I dont care if she was just trolling for tips - it worked).
 
2013-03-04 08:41:54 PM
There's a local fine dining place, part of a smallish corporate chain, that I eat at once or twice a week. Love the food, and the service is impeccable.

The corp management enforces the relentlessly cheerful attitude, and when I'm eating at the bar, I sometimes see customers acting like complete dicks.  One of the bartenders has started writing cranky/funny notes about them on napkins and sliding them under the edge of my plate while I'm dining.

Sometimes I'll find a way to annoy the person bothering her.  One guy who had to be in his 60s was relentlessly hitting on her (she's around 25 and stunning). Asking for her home address (so he could drop by!), etc.  I spotted his wedding ring, asked him if he was married.  Asked him if he had any pictures of his wife. Said I thought she was hot, do they swing, we should do a threesome.

She and the other bartender just about died trying to keep from laughing.
 
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