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(Gawker)   Your kid is more likely to stay off the pole if her name is Samantha, as opposed to S'imynthah   (gawker.com) divider line 17
    More: Obvious, Yale University, venn diagrams  
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11461 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 7:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-04 07:29:15 PM  
6 votes:

reillan: UsikFark: [demetrius.5mp.eu image 470x352]

S'imynthah is a contraction of an offensive word that takes longer to pronounce than the known age of the universe.

This is pretty much exactly where I took that name...

/ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn


I WISH YOU PEOPLE WOULDN'T WAKE ME UP UNLESS IT'S IMPORTANT.
2013-03-04 09:25:43 PM  
2 votes:

serpent_sky: red5ish: Do you pole dance? Or are you a Yale alumnae?

Neither... Part of me wonders if my life would have been different if I'd had the name I chose all along.  If only because I would have had more self confidence when speaking at job interviews, or with publishing myself (not under various pseudonyms) and not always hiding behind my nickname.  The one success I have to my name, my band, was done under my nickname, Pixie, which is what I had everyone call me until I had a legal name  I liked (and could tolerate.)  Best friends did not know my birth name, it was that deeply hidden, and I think it hindered me.

Who's to say, though? I could just retroactively be making excuses for thinking I should "follow my dreams" of writing instead of realizing how well wired my brain was for law and similar careers,....  and that I failed at my dreams because I didn't want anyone to address me by my name.  Though I know it brought me down a bit any time I ever heard it.


Your therapy bills sound expensive.
2013-03-04 08:28:50 PM  
2 votes:

Smelly Pirate Hooker: ReapTheChaos: This headline is invalid due to the fact that strippers don't use their actual names on stage.

Yeah, this. Their real names are Crystal and Karen and Brittany. Their stage names are Champagne and Velvet and Raquel.


You blew the punchline.   I would have gone with "Their stage names are Champagne, Velvet, and ... Brittany.
2013-03-04 08:04:28 PM  
2 votes:

StreetlightInTheGhetto: If your parents can afford that and didn't inherit wealth a la Beverly Hillbillies they wouldn't name you Candy in the first place.


Every first born daughter in the Cane family has been named Candy since Candice "Candy" Cane made the family fortune building a string of saloons across the Dakotas.
img401.imageshack.us
2013-03-04 07:56:48 PM  
2 votes:

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: BumpInTheNight: hey at least they aren't selling the last shovel at home depot.

[27.media.tumblr.com image 468x286]


Why yes I think I do,
i35.photobucket.com
2013-03-04 07:41:47 PM  
2 votes:

ReapTheChaos: This headline is invalid due to the fact that strippers don't use their actual names on stage.


Yeah, this. Their real names are Crystal and Karen and Brittany. Their stage names are Champagne and Velvet and Raquel.
2013-03-04 09:53:51 PM  
1 votes:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Just think someone somewhere named their kid Ziggy Stardust. Let that sink in.


I am guilty of naming my iguana Ziggy Stardust. He does dance for hibiscus flowers.

He's torn between Yale and U of Mich.

/go MSU
2013-03-04 08:34:27 PM  
1 votes:

martid4: I hate when they get body glitter in the coke.


^THIS^

omfg THIS
2013-03-04 07:49:07 PM  
1 votes:
Going to Yale or being a stripper?... not that much difference.

/harvard
2013-03-04 07:31:21 PM  
1 votes:
A TESTIMONIAL FROM A READER


When I was a young father-to-be I read a Fark headline that said naming your daughter Samantha rather than S'imynthah would keep her off of the pole. Since this is exactly what I was planning to name my daughter over the objections of my wife, I took the hint to heart and named my daughter Sam instead of S'imynthah.

Well, let me tell you, it kept her off of the stripper pole, but when she was 25 she became a gorgeous fireman. He still goes by the name Sam though, so he's got that going for him, and also he doesn't strip although several of his buddies do.

My wife left me long ago but I can have a few beers with my son Sam when he comes over to watch the Superbowl with the guys, several of whom are male strippers because their fathers lacked the good advice and foresight to give them a plain redblooded American name like Sam rather than Priscilla or Mehitabel.

Thanks Fark Subby, whoever you are!


N.B. This is what happens when you take advice from Farkers.
2013-03-04 07:28:57 PM  
1 votes:

the801: she needs to be able to use "Gemantha".


In a sentence.
Like:
Gemantha he was hung, but affa las nite he nose wadda needledik he is.
2013-03-04 07:28:20 PM  
1 votes:
hey at least they aren't selling the last shovel at home depot.

www.blogiversity.org
2013-03-04 07:19:49 PM  
1 votes:
Yes, what you name your child definitely dictates their entire future. Look at me, I grew up to be a brain in a jar.
2013-03-04 07:18:38 PM  
1 votes:
If your last name is Bush they let you right in.
2013-03-04 07:10:40 PM  
1 votes:
I dunno about that, Subby. The idea of the star of Bewitched doing a striptease would have kept me in my bunk for days.
2013-03-04 07:10:37 PM  
1 votes:
Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.
2013-03-04 07:10:14 PM  
1 votes:
Simianthe
 
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