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(Gawker)   Your kid is more likely to stay off the pole if her name is Samantha, as opposed to S'imynthah   (gawker.com) divider line 125
    More: Obvious, Yale University, venn diagrams  
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11461 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 7:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



125 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-03-04 06:35:00 PM  
According to the article, Samantha wasn't a popular name in Yale. Subby's got the Venn Diagram blues.
 
2013-03-04 06:50:46 PM  
Danica is right out
 
2013-03-04 07:03:55 PM  

PC LOAD LETTER: According to the article, Samantha wasn't a popular name in Yale. Subby's got the Venn Diagram blues.


You are correct, sir:

The No. 1 name of 1994, Jessica, was on the Yale list too. But seven of the top 12 girls' names of 1994-Ashley (No. 2), Samantha (No. 4), Taylor (No. 6), Brittany (No. 7), Amanda (No. 8), Nicole (No. 11), and Kayla (No. 12)-failed to appear on the Yale list.

This puts us in the uncomfortable position of acknowledging that a Fark headline may be misinformed, or (worse yet!) outright incorrect.
 
2013-03-04 07:04:26 PM  
demetrius.5mp.eu

S'imynthah is a contraction of an offensive word that takes longer to pronounce than the known age of the universe.
 
2013-03-04 07:04:36 PM  
Correlation causation etc. This looks to me more like "tradition-minded white parents are more likely to push their kids into Yale".
 
2013-03-04 07:07:49 PM  
LaShockqua is in the wings
 
2013-03-04 07:10:14 PM  
Simianthe
 
2013-03-04 07:10:37 PM  
Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.
 
2013-03-04 07:10:40 PM  
I dunno about that, Subby. The idea of the star of Bewitched doing a striptease would have kept me in my bunk for days.
 
2013-03-04 07:11:23 PM  
Delores!
 
2013-03-04 07:11:51 PM  
The people who were taught growing up that high self-esteem was their inalienable right regardless of of how useless they were are now naming their children.  Were you expecting common sense?
 
2013-03-04 07:12:12 PM  

poxic: Correlation causation etc. This looks to me more like "tradition-minded white parents are more likely to push their kids into Yale".


I recall that the biggest indicator of success is how much money your parents make. There are still plenty of poor white people, of course.
 
2013-03-04 07:14:40 PM  

UsikFark: [demetrius.5mp.eu image 470x352]

S'imynthah is a contraction of an offensive word that takes longer to pronounce than the known age of the universe.


This is pretty much exactly where I took that name...

/ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
 
2013-03-04 07:14:51 PM  
And notably, parents whose daughters were destined for Yale went way, way down the list-past all the dead-enders like "Jasmine" or "Morgan" or "Amber"-to choose the 185th most popular name of 1994, Sophia. Jumping ahead a generation: As of 2011, the most recent year for which the Social Security Administration has released name rankings, Sophia had risen to become the No. 1 name for baby girls. The Yale parents already knew.

I blame The Golden Girls.

/2011's 185th most popular name was Hayden.
 
2013-03-04 07:18:17 PM  
Wondering if this takes into account all of the Asian students who were not born in the US in 1994, but who are attending Yale. In my experience, people from Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, etc. tend to adopt very traditional Western names, like Peter and Charles. Just curious how that skews this data.
 
2013-03-04 07:18:38 PM  
If your last name is Bush they let you right in.
 
2013-03-04 07:19:49 PM  
Yes, what you name your child definitely dictates their entire future. Look at me, I grew up to be a brain in a jar.
 
2013-03-04 07:21:58 PM  
This shiat...what the fark is it?
 
2013-03-04 07:22:20 PM  
What is wrong or bad with "being on the pole?"  It's entertainment, dammit. Oh, I'm sorry if I offended any Christians.
 
2013-03-04 07:22:48 PM  

Shirley Ujest: Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.


No, they pay it back one dollar at a time
 
2013-03-04 07:24:15 PM  
 "Gemma"

never name your kid something like Gemma. the name is Gemantha. if you want to call her by a nickname when she's young, fine, but when she's applying for college or jobs or sugar daddies, she needs to be able to use "Gemantha".
 
2013-03-04 07:25:34 PM  

reillan: UsikFark: [demetrius.5mp.eu image 470x352]

S'imynthah is a contraction of an offensive word that takes longer to pronounce than the known age of the universe.

This is pretty much exactly where I took that name...

/ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn


The funny thing is that connotation aside, it literally describes the state in which a colloid like milk separates from a homogeneous fluid like water. The random motion of the particles makes the event unlikely to happen in any reasonable amount of time.
 
2013-03-04 07:27:56 PM  
"Gemma" (sorry)

i46.tinypic.com

Sorry?
 
2013-03-04 07:28:15 PM  
Favorite pet's name + street you used to live on
 
2013-03-04 07:28:20 PM  
hey at least they aren't selling the last shovel at home depot.

www.blogiversity.org
 
2013-03-04 07:28:57 PM  

the801: she needs to be able to use "Gemantha".


In a sentence.
Like:
Gemantha he was hung, but affa las nite he nose wadda needledik he is.
 
2013-03-04 07:29:15 PM  

reillan: UsikFark: [demetrius.5mp.eu image 470x352]

S'imynthah is a contraction of an offensive word that takes longer to pronounce than the known age of the universe.

This is pretty much exactly where I took that name...

/ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn


I WISH YOU PEOPLE WOULDN'T WAKE ME UP UNLESS IT'S IMPORTANT.
 
2013-03-04 07:30:10 PM  

Anne.Uumellmahaye: Yes, what you name your child definitely dictates their entire future. Look at me, I grew up to be a brain in a jar.


But your name isn't "Abby Normal".
 
2013-03-04 07:30:24 PM  
If i ever have a boy and a girl I want to name them Phil and Sophia.
 
2013-03-04 07:31:21 PM  
A TESTIMONIAL FROM A READER


When I was a young father-to-be I read a Fark headline that said naming your daughter Samantha rather than S'imynthah would keep her off of the pole. Since this is exactly what I was planning to name my daughter over the objections of my wife, I took the hint to heart and named my daughter Sam instead of S'imynthah.

Well, let me tell you, it kept her off of the stripper pole, but when she was 25 she became a gorgeous fireman. He still goes by the name Sam though, so he's got that going for him, and also he doesn't strip although several of his buddies do.

My wife left me long ago but I can have a few beers with my son Sam when he comes over to watch the Superbowl with the guys, several of whom are male strippers because their fathers lacked the good advice and foresight to give them a plain redblooded American name like Sam rather than Priscilla or Mehitabel.

Thanks Fark Subby, whoever you are!


N.B. This is what happens when you take advice from Farkers.
 
2013-03-04 07:34:19 PM  
I hear the pole is hard to kick. Horrible withdrawals....
 
2013-03-04 07:34:34 PM  

cthulhu: reillan: UsikFark: [demetrius.5mp.eu image 470x352]

S'imynthah is a contraction of an offensive word that takes longer to pronounce than the known age of the universe.

This is pretty much exactly where I took that name...

/ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

I WISH YOU PEOPLE WOULDN'T WAKE ME UP UNLESS IT'S IMPORTANT.


I saw a turtle.
 
2013-03-04 07:34:46 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: What is wrong or bad with "being on the pole?"  It's entertainment, dammit. Oh, I'm sorry if I offended any Christians.


Gave your Mom a tip last night, very entertaining
 
2013-03-04 07:34:46 PM  
A former colleague has a son named 'Jacksyn'. What relevance this has, I have no idea, but it's just a farked-up name.
 
2013-03-04 07:36:30 PM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Favorite pet's name + street you used to live on


Pandemonium Eminence.... Which is an oddly nerd chick stripped name.
 
2013-03-04 07:36:39 PM  
This headline is invalid due to the fact that strippers don't use their actual names on stage.
 
2013-03-04 07:38:17 PM  
Who ever heard of a skinny girl named "Rhonda"?
 
2013-03-04 07:39:59 PM  
On the other hand if you go out with someone named Samantha she'll take your melt.
 
2013-03-04 07:41:47 PM  

ReapTheChaos: This headline is invalid due to the fact that strippers don't use their actual names on stage.


Yeah, this. Their real names are Crystal and Karen and Brittany. Their stage names are Champagne and Velvet and Raquel.
 
2013-03-04 07:41:59 PM  

poxic: Correlation causation etc. This looks to me more like "tradition-minded white parents are more likely to push their kids into Yale".


Actually, more like dumb white-trash parents giving their kids "rich" sounding names that the actual rich abandoned two decades ago.
 
2013-03-04 07:42:12 PM  
This article is a perfect example of correlation not implying causation. Those names that didn't make it to Yale would be the kind of names given by poorer families, those kinds of people who couldn't afford to send a kid to Yale in the first place. The name is the effect, not the cause.
 
2013-03-04 07:42:21 PM  
Boy or girl, I'm naming my kid, Jesus Ezekial Jesus.
 
2013-03-04 07:43:02 PM  
The total Cost of Attendance for attending Yale in 2012-2013 is $58,600, which includes tuition ($42,300), room ($7,150), board ($5,850), and books and personal expenses ($3,300).  - yale.edu

Chances are that even if your parents name you Candy Kane, if they can afford to send you to Yale, not to mention the preceding thirteen years of private and prep school, you aren't going to end up pole dancing.
 
2013-03-04 07:44:27 PM  

Shirley Ujest: Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.



For some majors, stripping may be the ONLY way they'll get paid.
 
2013-03-04 07:44:39 PM  

poxic: Correlation causation etc. This looks to me more like "tradition-minded white parents are more likely to push their kids into Yale".


Yep.

If your name is unique *but* chosen with care you'll be ok too from my anecdotal experience but maybe off the beaten path. Worked with a kid named Enkidu who was flipping brilliant but also knew his name well. Likewise with two current coworkers - never met anyone else with their names but their parents both chose with care.

/one of my favorite getting to know you questions : what's your full name and why
//my mother was unimaginative for my first. Quite fond of my middle though... my middle + last names mean that even though my first was stupid popular in the 80s I'm still unique on Google
 
2013-03-04 07:46:33 PM  

lostcat: Wondering if this takes into account all of the Asian students who were not born in the US in 1994, but who are attending Yale. In my experience, people from Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, etc. tend to adopt very traditional Western names, like Peter and Charles. Just curious how that skews this data.


Every "Grace" under the age of 60 I've met, is either an immigrant, or a first generation Asian-American.
 
2013-03-04 07:47:09 PM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Favorite pet's name + street you used to live on


Balto 42nd ?

Guess It's a long line of noble gigolos.
 
2013-03-04 07:47:37 PM  

vudukungfu: the801: she needs to be able to use "Gemantha".

In a sentence.
Like:
Gemantha he was hung, but affa las nite he nose wadda needledik he is.


images2.wikia.nocookie.net
"Gemantha he was hung, but affa las nite he nose wadda needledik he is"
 
2013-03-04 07:48:13 PM  

red5ish: The total Cost of Attendance for attending Yale in 2012-2013 is $58,600, which includes tuition ($42,300), room ($7,150), board ($5,850), and books and personal expenses ($3,300).  - yale.edu

Chances are that even if your parents name you Candy Kane, if they can afford to send you to Yale, not to mention the preceding thirteen years of private and prep school, you aren't going to end up pole dancing.


If your parents can afford that and didn't inherit wealth a la Beverly Hillbillies they wouldn't name you Candy in the first place. Maybe as a nickname you can take up again once you get your MRS degree but that's it
 
2013-03-04 07:49:07 PM  
Going to Yale or being a stripper?... not that much difference.

/harvard
 
2013-03-04 07:49:13 PM  
UsikFark:
Glad I'm not the only one who lost sanity points trying to pronounce that.
 
2013-03-04 07:49:56 PM  

earthworm2.0: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Favorite pet's name + street you used to live on

Pandemonium Eminence.... Which is an oddly nerd chick stripped name.


Santanico Pandemonium is a really good stripper name
 
2013-03-04 07:51:00 PM  

BumpInTheNight: hey at least they aren't selling the last shovel at home depot.


27.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-04 07:51:53 PM  

LoneWolf343: This article is a perfect example of correlation not implying causation. Those names that didn't make it to Yale would be the kind of names given by poorer families, those kinds of people who couldn't afford to send a kid to Yale in the first place. The name is the effect, not the cause.


Goddammit fine I'll do it.

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-03-04 07:52:18 PM  
I thought the stripper name game was first pet + first street you lived on...

Katie Brooklyn by those rules, by the favorite pet's name + street... Senna Sixth? Katie Brooklyn and Senna Sixth both sound TRASHY!
 
2013-03-04 07:54:25 PM  

TheOther: Going to Yale or being a stripper?... not that much difference.

/harvard


You really want to set yourself up like that?
 
2013-03-04 07:54:32 PM  

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: I thought the stripper name game was first pet + first street you lived on...

Katie Brooklyn by those rules, by the favorite pet's name + street... Senna Sixth? Katie Brooklyn and Senna Sixth both sound TRASHY!


Mine would be Diablo Potrero.  I think I like that.
 
2013-03-04 07:56:48 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: BumpInTheNight: hey at least they aren't selling the last shovel at home depot.

[27.media.tumblr.com image 468x286]


Why yes I think I do,
i35.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-04 07:57:13 PM  

red5ish: The total Cost of Attendance for attending Yale in 2012-2013 is $58,600, which includes tuition ($42,300), room ($7,150), board ($5,850), and books and personal expenses ($3,300).  - yale.edu

Chances are that even if your parents name you Candy Kane, if they can afford to send you to Yale, not to mention the preceding thirteen years of private and prep school, you aren't going to end up pole dancing.


To be totally fair, Yale is one of the few places where financial aid is a serious deal.  It's been a while since I applied (Did not get in), but IIRC, if your family is under ~$100K income, it's basically free and it's pretty reasonable thereafter.

If you're making over $100K, and you can't afford to send your kid to college, you either suck at financial planning or you live in a high-COL area, and it just sucks to be you anyways.

/I think they make the student responsible for $5K (which is code for: "Daddy cuts a check" in a lot of cases), but 20K in debt for 4 years of college is not bad.  I'm about to pay off $20K in debt (of my 40K total) in 6 months after leaving college.
 
2013-03-04 07:58:06 PM  
Protip: don't name your daughter after a car (i.e. Lexus, Porche, Mercedes, etc.)
 
2013-03-04 07:58:29 PM  

Phoenix222: If i ever have a boy and a girl I want to name them Phil and Sophia.


That would be pretty funny, actually. Your kids might hate you, but whatever.
Maybe reserve the joke for a pair of cats?
 
2013-03-04 07:58:44 PM  

Amos Quito: Shirley Ujest: Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.


For some majors, stripping may be the ONLY way they'll get paid.


^This^

...or so I hear?

/former art major
//in school again
///you can stop laughing now
 
2013-03-04 08:00:17 PM  

What in The: A former colleague has a son named 'Jacksyn'. What relevance this has, I have no idea, but it's just a farked-up name.


That's truly terrible. My kid had a "Jaxsen" her class, I'd say Jacksyn beats it.

Here are some of my FB friend's kids names:
Jayleigh
Destynee
Journey
Breyauna
Tierrah

WTF people.
 
2013-03-04 08:01:08 PM  
Chlamydia has a nice ring to it, maybe I'll name my daughter that.
 
2013-03-04 08:02:38 PM  

PsyLord: Protip: don't name your daughter after a car (i.e. Lexus, Porche, Mercedes, etc.)


Pretty sure Mercedes  was named after a daughter.
 
2013-03-04 08:03:44 PM  

AliceBToklasLives: Delores!


Mulva?
 
2013-03-04 08:04:16 PM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: /one of my favorite getting to know you questions : what's your full name and why


I legally changed it to Batman Bin Suparman because it's awesome.

languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu
 
2013-03-04 08:04:24 PM  

UsikFark: PsyLord: Protip: don't name your daughter after a car (i.e. Lexus, Porche, Mercedes, etc.)

Pretty sure Mercedes  was named after a daughter.


And the circle is now complete...
 
2013-03-04 08:04:28 PM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: If your parents can afford that and didn't inherit wealth a la Beverly Hillbillies they wouldn't name you Candy in the first place.


Every first born daughter in the Cane family has been named Candy since Candice "Candy" Cane made the family fortune building a string of saloons across the Dakotas.
img401.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-04 08:06:59 PM  

UsikFark: PsyLord: Protip: don't name your daughter after a car (i.e. Lexus, Porche, Mercedes, etc.)

Pretty sure Mercedes  was named after a daughter.


(Ithinkthatsthejoke,jpg)
 
2013-03-04 08:07:50 PM  
Nominative Determinism Thread!
 
2013-03-04 08:09:17 PM  

UsikFark: PsyLord: Protip: don't name your daughter after a car (i.e. Lexus, Porche, Mercedes, etc.)

Pretty sure Mercedes  was named after a daughter.


And don't get me started on Portia.  If it's good enough for The Bard, it's good enough for me even if the spelling has changed through the years.
 
2013-03-04 08:10:19 PM  

Teufelaffe: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: I thought the stripper name game was first pet + first street you lived on...

Katie Brooklyn by those rules, by the favorite pet's name + street... Senna Sixth? Katie Brooklyn and Senna Sixth both sound TRASHY!

Mine would be Diablo Potrero.  I think I like that.


I consistently win Stripper Name contests among my bored drunk friends. Mostly because of the Debbie Does Dallas type of image that Katie Brooklyn presents. Katie Brooklyn totally sounds like she'll do extra favors for money, alcohol, shoes, purses or blow.
 
2013-03-04 08:16:15 PM  
Pierson girls are easy.
 
2013-03-04 08:16:45 PM  
I submitted this with a far better headline than the subby face-planted.
 
2013-03-04 08:20:20 PM  
I named myself.  I mean, I was given a name when I was a kid, but as an adult, re-named myself (took a new first name as well as his last name) when I got married. And when I got divorced, I gave myself a new last name of my choosing.  How it will work for me, I don't know.  I have a less popular spelling of my first name (which was unintentional) and my last name is a Polish or Russian sounding (I have no idea what its origins really are) mess of letters that nobody can even try to pronounce. But it makes me happy, since I hated my birth name and wanted a different name my whole life.  How it will work for me, who knows? Much like I don't care to be judged for much, never mind what I prefer to be called in all instances of life.
 
2013-03-04 08:23:47 PM  

serpent_sky: I named myself.  I mean, I was given a name when I was a kid, but as an adult, re-named myself (took a new first name as well as his last name) when I got married. And when I got divorced, I gave myself a new last name of my choosing.  How it will work for me, I don't know.  I have a less popular spelling of my first name (which was unintentional) and my last name is a Polish or Russian sounding (I have no idea what its origins really are) mess of letters that nobody can even try to pronounce. But it makes me happy, since I hated my birth name and wanted a different name my whole life.  How it will work for me, who knows? Much like I don't care to be judged for much, never mind what I prefer to be called in all instances of life.


Do you pole dance? Or are you a Yale alumnae?
 
2013-03-04 08:25:56 PM  
I'll take popular Jewish first names for 100 Alex.
 
2013-03-04 08:28:50 PM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: ReapTheChaos: This headline is invalid due to the fact that strippers don't use their actual names on stage.

Yeah, this. Their real names are Crystal and Karen and Brittany. Their stage names are Champagne and Velvet and Raquel.


You blew the punchline.   I would have gone with "Their stage names are Champagne, Velvet, and ... Brittany.
 
2013-03-04 08:30:10 PM  

red5ish: StreetlightInTheGhetto: If your parents can afford that and didn't inherit wealth a la Beverly Hillbillies they wouldn't name you Candy in the first place.

Every first born daughter in the Cane family has been named Candy since Candice "Candy" Cane made the family fortune building a string of saloons across the Dakotas.
[img401.imageshack.us image 234x300]


So nickname for Candice, which would probably be the name put on the Yale application.  Proving my point.  Even though you're joking.
 
2013-03-04 08:32:01 PM  

red5ish: Do you pole dance? Or are you a Yale alumnae?


Neither... Part of me wonders if my life would have been different if I'd had the name I chose all along.  If only because I would have had more self confidence when speaking at job interviews, or with publishing myself (not under various pseudonyms) and not always hiding behind my nickname.  The one success I have to my name, my band, was done under my nickname, Pixie, which is what I had everyone call me until I had a legal name  I liked (and could tolerate.)  Best friends did not know my birth name, it was that deeply hidden, and I think it hindered me.

Who's to say, though? I could just retroactively be making excuses for thinking I should "follow my dreams" of writing instead of realizing how well wired my brain was for law and similar careers,....  and that I failed at my dreams because I didn't want anyone to address me by my name.  Though I know it brought me down a bit any time I ever heard it.
 
2013-03-04 08:32:02 PM  
I hate when they get body glitter in the coke.
 
2013-03-04 08:32:16 PM  

umad: StreetlightInTheGhetto: /one of my favorite getting to know you questions : what's your full name and why

I legally changed it to Batman Bin Suparman because it's awesome.

[languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu image 400x283]


More power to ya.

You get one free legal name change in life, right?  Might as well make it freaking awesome.
 
2013-03-04 08:33:10 PM  

UsikFark: PsyLord: Protip: don't name your daughter after a car (i.e. Lexus, Porche, Mercedes, etc.)

Pretty sure Mercedes  was named after a daughter.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes_%28name%29

My best friend in high school had Mercedes as a middle name.

/Filipino
 
2013-03-04 08:34:27 PM  

martid4: I hate when they get body glitter in the coke.


^THIS^

omfg THIS
 
2013-03-04 08:35:32 PM  

the801: "Gemma"

never name your kid something like Gemma. the name is Gemantha. if you want to call her by a nickname when she's young, fine, but when she's applying for college or jobs or sugar daddies, she needs to be able to use "Gemantha".


www.ranmaonline.com

SAOTOME!!!
 
2013-03-04 08:39:24 PM  
I was working at a mind-numbing retail place many years ago, and a lady paid with a check.  It had her name on it: Khrysstyaanne or something like that (pronounced "Christian").  She must have seen my eyes open wide, cuz she she said "Yeah...I know...my parents did a lot of acid in the 60s"
 
2013-03-04 09:05:13 PM  

megarian: Amos Quito: Shirley Ujest: Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.


For some majors, stripping may be the ONLY way they'll get paid.

^This^

...or so I hear?

/former art major
//in school again
///you can stop laughing now



I consider stripping an art.

Sometimes.
 
2013-03-04 09:12:08 PM  

Shirley Ujest: Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.


I thought it was because they have to pay back college loans that they're strippers.
 
2013-03-04 09:18:46 PM  

Amos Quito: megarian: Amos Quito: Shirley Ujest: Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.


For some majors, stripping may be the ONLY way they'll get paid.

^This^

...or so I hear?

/former art major
//in school again
///you can stop laughing now


I consider stripping an art.

Sometimes.


Let's hope the recipients of my résumé feel the same.

I keed?!
 
2013-03-04 09:18:50 PM  

BumpInTheNight: Chlamydia has a nice ring to it, maybe I'll name my daughter that.


That's a WINNER!
 
2013-03-04 09:20:14 PM  

CujoQuarrel: earthworm2.0: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Favorite pet's name + street you used to live on

Pandemonium Eminence.... Which is an oddly nerd chick stripped name.

Santanico Pandemonium is a really good stripper name


Love that movie.
 
2013-03-04 09:25:24 PM  
"Well, do sit down then Mr Throatwobbler Mangrove."
 
2013-03-04 09:25:43 PM  

serpent_sky: red5ish: Do you pole dance? Or are you a Yale alumnae?

Neither... Part of me wonders if my life would have been different if I'd had the name I chose all along.  If only because I would have had more self confidence when speaking at job interviews, or with publishing myself (not under various pseudonyms) and not always hiding behind my nickname.  The one success I have to my name, my band, was done under my nickname, Pixie, which is what I had everyone call me until I had a legal name  I liked (and could tolerate.)  Best friends did not know my birth name, it was that deeply hidden, and I think it hindered me.

Who's to say, though? I could just retroactively be making excuses for thinking I should "follow my dreams" of writing instead of realizing how well wired my brain was for law and similar careers,....  and that I failed at my dreams because I didn't want anyone to address me by my name.  Though I know it brought me down a bit any time I ever heard it.


Your therapy bills sound expensive.
 
2013-03-04 09:27:59 PM  
I don't give a fark what her name is as long as she cries during the lapdance.
 
2013-03-04 09:43:12 PM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: I don't give a fark what her name is as long as she cries during the lapdance.


Aaaaand this.
 
2013-03-04 09:46:50 PM  
Just think someone somewhere named their kid Ziggy Stardust. Let that sink in.
 
2013-03-04 09:50:01 PM  

Teufelaffe: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: I thought the stripper name game was first pet + first street you lived on...

Katie Brooklyn by those rules, by the favorite pet's name + street... Senna Sixth? Katie Brooklyn and Senna Sixth both sound TRASHY!

Mine would be Diablo Potrero.  I think I like that.


Heh... mine's Two-bits Lucky

/not if that's all she's going for
 
2013-03-04 09:53:51 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Just think someone somewhere named their kid Ziggy Stardust. Let that sink in.


I am guilty of naming my iguana Ziggy Stardust. He does dance for hibiscus flowers.

He's torn between Yale and U of Mich.

/go MSU
 
2013-03-04 09:59:52 PM  

red5ish: StreetlightInTheGhetto: If your parents can afford that and didn't inherit wealth a la Beverly Hillbillies they wouldn't name you Candy in the first place.

Every first born daughter in the Cane family has been named Candy since Candice "Candy" Cane made the family fortune building a string of saloons across the Dakotas.
img401.imageshack.us


static-media.fxnetworks.com
 
2013-03-04 10:00:13 PM  

NASAM: What in The: A former colleague has a son named 'Jacksyn'. What relevance this has, I have no idea, but it's just a farked-up name.

That's truly terrible. My kid had a "Jaxsen" her class, I'd say Jacksyn beats it.

Here are some of my FB friend's kids names:
Jayleigh
Destynee
Journey
Breyauna
Tierrah

WTF people.


WTF NASAM, why are you broadcasting my kids' names on Fark????
 
2013-03-04 10:21:12 PM  
I once took a call from a woman named Gynyfer. I asked if I could call her Gyno for short.
 
2013-03-04 10:27:13 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: I found a picture of S'imynthah.

[blogs.telegraph.co.uk image 460x288]


Is that Stallone?
 
2013-03-04 10:28:33 PM  

megarian: I am guilty of naming my iguana Ziggy Stardust. He does dance for hibiscus flowers.


Pics or it didn't happen
 
2013-03-04 10:36:07 PM  

SuperChuck: megarian: I am guilty of naming my iguana Ziggy Stardust. He does dance for hibiscus flowers.

Pics or it didn't happen


He's SEVEN!!!!
 
2013-03-04 11:02:09 PM  
 
2013-03-04 11:41:48 PM  

SockMonkeyHolocaust: Who ever heard of a skinny girl named "Rhonda"?

Yes..

cache2.artprintimages.com

 
2013-03-04 11:42:47 PM  
I have NEVER known a girl called Samantha who was not a very rude girl indeed. On the other hand I have never met a girl called Simynthah at all so I guess..
 
2013-03-04 11:44:50 PM  
I like Ritalyn for a girl. Appropriate for the times.
 
2013-03-04 11:59:47 PM  
I may be named one of those things, so I'm getting a kick, etc.

/not a stripper
//anymore
 
2013-03-05 12:25:00 AM  

Queensowntalia: I may be named one of those things, so I'm getting a kick, etc.

/not a stripper
//anymore


Hear that? ... *boom*

That was the sound of your profile collapsing under the weight of all those clicks.
 
2013-03-05 12:54:31 AM  
And i'm getting really sick of guys named Todd. It's a good f**king name OK. Hi whats your name? Todd. I'm Todd. And this is Blake, and Blaire and Blaine and Brent. Where all these goofy f**king boys names comin' from. Taylor, Tyler, Jordan, Flynn. These are not real names. You wanna hear a real name? Eddie. Eddie is a real name, what happened to Eddie he was hear a minute ago. Jackie and Johnny and Tommy and Bill. Danny, Larry, Johnny, and Phil. What happened? Todd. And Cody, and Dillon, and Cameron, and Tucker. Hi Tucker, i'm Todd. Hi Todd, i'm Tucker. F**k Tucker, Tucker sucks. And f**k Tuckers friend Kyle. Thats another soft name for a boy. Kyle. Soft names make soft people. I'll bet you ten times out of ten, Nicky, Vinnie, and Tony would beat the shiat out of Todd, Kyle, and Tucker.

- George Carlin
 
2013-03-05 01:09:31 AM  
You mean people aren't going to take you seriously if you have a name that looks like someone closed their eyes and typed randomly on a keyboard? No way. Shenanigans. You know, someone should write a book on the origin of black people names. Someone had to start the trend of making De masculine and La feminine and then adding cracker names at the end with difficult spelling.
 
2013-03-05 02:01:54 AM  

megarian: SuperChuck: megarian: I am guilty of naming my iguana Ziggy Stardust. He does dance for hibiscus flowers.

Pics or it didn't happen

He's SEVEN!!!!


But how old is that in iguana years?
 
2013-03-05 02:02:58 AM  

ParagonComplex: You mean people aren't going to take you seriously if you have a name that looks like someone closed their eyes and typed randomly on a keyboard? No way. Shenanigans. You know, someone should write a book on the origin of black people names. Someone had to start the trend of making De masculine and La feminine and then adding cracker names at the end with difficult spelling.


A person's name really says more about their parents than it does about them.
 
2013-03-05 03:24:19 AM  

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: . Katie Brooklyn totally sounds like she'll do extra favors for money, alcohol, shoes, purses or blow.


This, is a true stement.
 
2013-03-05 03:33:56 AM  

SuperNinjaToad: SockMonkeyHolocaust: Who ever heard of a skinny girl named "Rhonda"?

Yes..

[cache2.artprintimages.com image 360x450]


Except that her name is "Rhona" not "Rhonda".
 
2013-03-05 03:40:43 AM  
Also, any name after a virtue is right out. No Hopes, Chastities, etc, etc.
 
2013-03-05 03:51:07 AM  
I like how when you read obituaries in a small-town paper, you can tell just about every (Scotch-Irish-English heritage) woman who's over 80 by her name, before you even read the age. Irene, Doris, etc.
 
2013-03-05 04:36:06 AM  

Terrible Old Man: Also, any name after a virtue is right out. No Hopes, Chastities, etc, etc.


I knew a Charity in high school. She was evil (don't know it she became a stripper or not). She was a member of the Young Republicans - not why I thought she was evil, but there it is.
 
2013-03-05 03:41:30 PM  

Abacus9: ParagonComplex: You mean people aren't going to take you seriously if you have a name that looks like someone closed their eyes and typed randomly on a keyboard? No way. Shenanigans. You know, someone should write a book on the origin of black people names. Someone had to start the trend of making De masculine and La feminine and then adding cracker names at the end with difficult spelling.

A person's name really says more about their parents than it does about them.


It says everything about their parents. A kid can't choose the name he or she is born with, but they can sure as hell refuse to answer to it in school, and they can surer as heller legally change it ASAP.
 
2013-03-05 04:34:34 PM  
Woman came in to work the other day trailing 2 munchkins. Summer and Seven. Hmmmmm.
 
2013-03-06 12:19:55 AM  

Trance354: Woman came in to work the other day trailing 2 munchkins. Summer and Seven. Hmmmmm.


chockblock.files.wordpress.com

What Seven may look like.
 
2013-03-06 12:21:26 AM  
ParagonComplex:

A person's name really says more about their parents than it does about them.

It says everything about their parents. A kid can't choose the name he or she is born with, but they can sure as hell refuse to answer to it in school,


No, they really can't.

and they can surer as heller legally change it ASAP.

I wouldn't call 18 years later ASAP.
 
2013-03-06 12:24:24 AM  
ParagonComplex:

Besides, why should they have to change their name if they don't want to? Having an unusual name says nothing about you, and shouldn't bar you from employment possibilities or a good school. It's just a name. All names, even the conventional ones, were made up at some point.
 
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