If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Gawker)   Your kid is more likely to stay off the pole if her name is Samantha, as opposed to S'imynthah   (gawker.com) divider line 125
    More: Obvious, Yale University, venn diagrams  
•       •       •

11458 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 7:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



125 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-03-04 07:49:13 PM
UsikFark:
Glad I'm not the only one who lost sanity points trying to pronounce that.
 
2013-03-04 07:49:56 PM

earthworm2.0: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Favorite pet's name + street you used to live on

Pandemonium Eminence.... Which is an oddly nerd chick stripped name.


Santanico Pandemonium is a really good stripper name
 
2013-03-04 07:51:00 PM

BumpInTheNight: hey at least they aren't selling the last shovel at home depot.


27.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-04 07:51:53 PM

LoneWolf343: This article is a perfect example of correlation not implying causation. Those names that didn't make it to Yale would be the kind of names given by poorer families, those kinds of people who couldn't afford to send a kid to Yale in the first place. The name is the effect, not the cause.


Goddammit fine I'll do it.

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-03-04 07:52:18 PM
I thought the stripper name game was first pet + first street you lived on...

Katie Brooklyn by those rules, by the favorite pet's name + street... Senna Sixth? Katie Brooklyn and Senna Sixth both sound TRASHY!
 
2013-03-04 07:54:25 PM

TheOther: Going to Yale or being a stripper?... not that much difference.

/harvard


You really want to set yourself up like that?
 
2013-03-04 07:54:32 PM

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: I thought the stripper name game was first pet + first street you lived on...

Katie Brooklyn by those rules, by the favorite pet's name + street... Senna Sixth? Katie Brooklyn and Senna Sixth both sound TRASHY!


Mine would be Diablo Potrero.  I think I like that.
 
2013-03-04 07:56:48 PM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: BumpInTheNight: hey at least they aren't selling the last shovel at home depot.

[27.media.tumblr.com image 468x286]


Why yes I think I do,
i35.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-04 07:57:13 PM

red5ish: The total Cost of Attendance for attending Yale in 2012-2013 is $58,600, which includes tuition ($42,300), room ($7,150), board ($5,850), and books and personal expenses ($3,300).  - yale.edu

Chances are that even if your parents name you Candy Kane, if they can afford to send you to Yale, not to mention the preceding thirteen years of private and prep school, you aren't going to end up pole dancing.


To be totally fair, Yale is one of the few places where financial aid is a serious deal.  It's been a while since I applied (Did not get in), but IIRC, if your family is under ~$100K income, it's basically free and it's pretty reasonable thereafter.

If you're making over $100K, and you can't afford to send your kid to college, you either suck at financial planning or you live in a high-COL area, and it just sucks to be you anyways.

/I think they make the student responsible for $5K (which is code for: "Daddy cuts a check" in a lot of cases), but 20K in debt for 4 years of college is not bad.  I'm about to pay off $20K in debt (of my 40K total) in 6 months after leaving college.
 
2013-03-04 07:58:06 PM
Protip: don't name your daughter after a car (i.e. Lexus, Porche, Mercedes, etc.)
 
2013-03-04 07:58:29 PM

Phoenix222: If i ever have a boy and a girl I want to name them Phil and Sophia.


That would be pretty funny, actually. Your kids might hate you, but whatever.
Maybe reserve the joke for a pair of cats?
 
2013-03-04 07:58:44 PM

Amos Quito: Shirley Ujest: Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.


For some majors, stripping may be the ONLY way they'll get paid.


^This^

...or so I hear?

/former art major
//in school again
///you can stop laughing now
 
2013-03-04 08:00:17 PM

What in The: A former colleague has a son named 'Jacksyn'. What relevance this has, I have no idea, but it's just a farked-up name.


That's truly terrible. My kid had a "Jaxsen" her class, I'd say Jacksyn beats it.

Here are some of my FB friend's kids names:
Jayleigh
Destynee
Journey
Breyauna
Tierrah

WTF people.
 
2013-03-04 08:01:08 PM
Chlamydia has a nice ring to it, maybe I'll name my daughter that.
 
2013-03-04 08:02:38 PM

PsyLord: Protip: don't name your daughter after a car (i.e. Lexus, Porche, Mercedes, etc.)


Pretty sure Mercedes  was named after a daughter.
 
2013-03-04 08:03:44 PM

AliceBToklasLives: Delores!


Mulva?
 
2013-03-04 08:04:16 PM

StreetlightInTheGhetto: /one of my favorite getting to know you questions : what's your full name and why


I legally changed it to Batman Bin Suparman because it's awesome.

languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu
 
2013-03-04 08:04:24 PM

UsikFark: PsyLord: Protip: don't name your daughter after a car (i.e. Lexus, Porche, Mercedes, etc.)

Pretty sure Mercedes  was named after a daughter.


And the circle is now complete...
 
2013-03-04 08:04:28 PM

StreetlightInTheGhetto: If your parents can afford that and didn't inherit wealth a la Beverly Hillbillies they wouldn't name you Candy in the first place.


Every first born daughter in the Cane family has been named Candy since Candice "Candy" Cane made the family fortune building a string of saloons across the Dakotas.
img401.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-04 08:06:59 PM

UsikFark: PsyLord: Protip: don't name your daughter after a car (i.e. Lexus, Porche, Mercedes, etc.)

Pretty sure Mercedes  was named after a daughter.


(Ithinkthatsthejoke,jpg)
 
2013-03-04 08:07:50 PM
Nominative Determinism Thread!
 
2013-03-04 08:09:17 PM

UsikFark: PsyLord: Protip: don't name your daughter after a car (i.e. Lexus, Porche, Mercedes, etc.)

Pretty sure Mercedes  was named after a daughter.


And don't get me started on Portia.  If it's good enough for The Bard, it's good enough for me even if the spelling has changed through the years.
 
2013-03-04 08:10:19 PM

Teufelaffe: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: I thought the stripper name game was first pet + first street you lived on...

Katie Brooklyn by those rules, by the favorite pet's name + street... Senna Sixth? Katie Brooklyn and Senna Sixth both sound TRASHY!

Mine would be Diablo Potrero.  I think I like that.


I consistently win Stripper Name contests among my bored drunk friends. Mostly because of the Debbie Does Dallas type of image that Katie Brooklyn presents. Katie Brooklyn totally sounds like she'll do extra favors for money, alcohol, shoes, purses or blow.
 
2013-03-04 08:16:15 PM
Pierson girls are easy.
 
2013-03-04 08:16:45 PM
I submitted this with a far better headline than the subby face-planted.
 
2013-03-04 08:20:20 PM
I named myself.  I mean, I was given a name when I was a kid, but as an adult, re-named myself (took a new first name as well as his last name) when I got married. And when I got divorced, I gave myself a new last name of my choosing.  How it will work for me, I don't know.  I have a less popular spelling of my first name (which was unintentional) and my last name is a Polish or Russian sounding (I have no idea what its origins really are) mess of letters that nobody can even try to pronounce. But it makes me happy, since I hated my birth name and wanted a different name my whole life.  How it will work for me, who knows? Much like I don't care to be judged for much, never mind what I prefer to be called in all instances of life.
 
2013-03-04 08:23:47 PM

serpent_sky: I named myself.  I mean, I was given a name when I was a kid, but as an adult, re-named myself (took a new first name as well as his last name) when I got married. And when I got divorced, I gave myself a new last name of my choosing.  How it will work for me, I don't know.  I have a less popular spelling of my first name (which was unintentional) and my last name is a Polish or Russian sounding (I have no idea what its origins really are) mess of letters that nobody can even try to pronounce. But it makes me happy, since I hated my birth name and wanted a different name my whole life.  How it will work for me, who knows? Much like I don't care to be judged for much, never mind what I prefer to be called in all instances of life.


Do you pole dance? Or are you a Yale alumnae?
 
2013-03-04 08:25:56 PM
I'll take popular Jewish first names for 100 Alex.
 
2013-03-04 08:28:50 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: ReapTheChaos: This headline is invalid due to the fact that strippers don't use their actual names on stage.

Yeah, this. Their real names are Crystal and Karen and Brittany. Their stage names are Champagne and Velvet and Raquel.


You blew the punchline.   I would have gone with "Their stage names are Champagne, Velvet, and ... Brittany.
 
2013-03-04 08:30:10 PM

red5ish: StreetlightInTheGhetto: If your parents can afford that and didn't inherit wealth a la Beverly Hillbillies they wouldn't name you Candy in the first place.

Every first born daughter in the Cane family has been named Candy since Candice "Candy" Cane made the family fortune building a string of saloons across the Dakotas.
[img401.imageshack.us image 234x300]


So nickname for Candice, which would probably be the name put on the Yale application.  Proving my point.  Even though you're joking.
 
2013-03-04 08:32:01 PM

red5ish: Do you pole dance? Or are you a Yale alumnae?


Neither... Part of me wonders if my life would have been different if I'd had the name I chose all along.  If only because I would have had more self confidence when speaking at job interviews, or with publishing myself (not under various pseudonyms) and not always hiding behind my nickname.  The one success I have to my name, my band, was done under my nickname, Pixie, which is what I had everyone call me until I had a legal name  I liked (and could tolerate.)  Best friends did not know my birth name, it was that deeply hidden, and I think it hindered me.

Who's to say, though? I could just retroactively be making excuses for thinking I should "follow my dreams" of writing instead of realizing how well wired my brain was for law and similar careers,....  and that I failed at my dreams because I didn't want anyone to address me by my name.  Though I know it brought me down a bit any time I ever heard it.
 
2013-03-04 08:32:02 PM
I hate when they get body glitter in the coke.
 
2013-03-04 08:32:16 PM

umad: StreetlightInTheGhetto: /one of my favorite getting to know you questions : what's your full name and why

I legally changed it to Batman Bin Suparman because it's awesome.

[languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu image 400x283]


More power to ya.

You get one free legal name change in life, right?  Might as well make it freaking awesome.
 
2013-03-04 08:33:10 PM

UsikFark: PsyLord: Protip: don't name your daughter after a car (i.e. Lexus, Porche, Mercedes, etc.)

Pretty sure Mercedes  was named after a daughter.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes_%28name%29

My best friend in high school had Mercedes as a middle name.

/Filipino
 
2013-03-04 08:34:27 PM

martid4: I hate when they get body glitter in the coke.


^THIS^

omfg THIS
 
2013-03-04 08:35:32 PM

the801: "Gemma"

never name your kid something like Gemma. the name is Gemantha. if you want to call her by a nickname when she's young, fine, but when she's applying for college or jobs or sugar daddies, she needs to be able to use "Gemantha".


www.ranmaonline.com

SAOTOME!!!
 
2013-03-04 08:39:24 PM
I was working at a mind-numbing retail place many years ago, and a lady paid with a check.  It had her name on it: Khrysstyaanne or something like that (pronounced "Christian").  She must have seen my eyes open wide, cuz she she said "Yeah...I know...my parents did a lot of acid in the 60s"
 
2013-03-04 09:05:13 PM

megarian: Amos Quito: Shirley Ujest: Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.


For some majors, stripping may be the ONLY way they'll get paid.

^This^

...or so I hear?

/former art major
//in school again
///you can stop laughing now



I consider stripping an art.

Sometimes.
 
2013-03-04 09:12:08 PM

Shirley Ujest: Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.


I thought it was because they have to pay back college loans that they're strippers.
 
2013-03-04 09:18:46 PM

Amos Quito: megarian: Amos Quito: Shirley Ujest: Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.


For some majors, stripping may be the ONLY way they'll get paid.

^This^

...or so I hear?

/former art major
//in school again
///you can stop laughing now


I consider stripping an art.

Sometimes.


Let's hope the recipients of my résumé feel the same.

I keed?!
 
2013-03-04 09:18:50 PM

BumpInTheNight: Chlamydia has a nice ring to it, maybe I'll name my daughter that.


That's a WINNER!
 
2013-03-04 09:20:14 PM

CujoQuarrel: earthworm2.0: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Favorite pet's name + street you used to live on

Pandemonium Eminence.... Which is an oddly nerd chick stripped name.

Santanico Pandemonium is a really good stripper name


Love that movie.
 
2013-03-04 09:25:24 PM
"Well, do sit down then Mr Throatwobbler Mangrove."
 
2013-03-04 09:25:43 PM

serpent_sky: red5ish: Do you pole dance? Or are you a Yale alumnae?

Neither... Part of me wonders if my life would have been different if I'd had the name I chose all along.  If only because I would have had more self confidence when speaking at job interviews, or with publishing myself (not under various pseudonyms) and not always hiding behind my nickname.  The one success I have to my name, my band, was done under my nickname, Pixie, which is what I had everyone call me until I had a legal name  I liked (and could tolerate.)  Best friends did not know my birth name, it was that deeply hidden, and I think it hindered me.

Who's to say, though? I could just retroactively be making excuses for thinking I should "follow my dreams" of writing instead of realizing how well wired my brain was for law and similar careers,....  and that I failed at my dreams because I didn't want anyone to address me by my name.  Though I know it brought me down a bit any time I ever heard it.


Your therapy bills sound expensive.
 
2013-03-04 09:27:59 PM
I don't give a fark what her name is as long as she cries during the lapdance.
 
2013-03-04 09:43:12 PM

Lt. Cheese Weasel: I don't give a fark what her name is as long as she cries during the lapdance.


Aaaaand this.
 
2013-03-04 09:46:50 PM
Just think someone somewhere named their kid Ziggy Stardust. Let that sink in.
 
2013-03-04 09:50:01 PM

Teufelaffe: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: I thought the stripper name game was first pet + first street you lived on...

Katie Brooklyn by those rules, by the favorite pet's name + street... Senna Sixth? Katie Brooklyn and Senna Sixth both sound TRASHY!

Mine would be Diablo Potrero.  I think I like that.


Heh... mine's Two-bits Lucky

/not if that's all she's going for
 
2013-03-04 09:53:51 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Just think someone somewhere named their kid Ziggy Stardust. Let that sink in.


I am guilty of naming my iguana Ziggy Stardust. He does dance for hibiscus flowers.

He's torn between Yale and U of Mich.

/go MSU
 
2013-03-04 09:59:52 PM

red5ish: StreetlightInTheGhetto: If your parents can afford that and didn't inherit wealth a la Beverly Hillbillies they wouldn't name you Candy in the first place.

Every first born daughter in the Cane family has been named Candy since Candice "Candy" Cane made the family fortune building a string of saloons across the Dakotas.
img401.imageshack.us


static-media.fxnetworks.com
 
Displayed 50 of 125 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report