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(Gawker)   Your kid is more likely to stay off the pole if her name is Samantha, as opposed to S'imynthah   (gawker.com) divider line 125
    More: Obvious, Yale University, venn diagrams  
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11461 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 7:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-04 06:35:00 PM  
According to the article, Samantha wasn't a popular name in Yale. Subby's got the Venn Diagram blues.
 
2013-03-04 06:50:46 PM  
Danica is right out
 
2013-03-04 07:03:55 PM  

PC LOAD LETTER: According to the article, Samantha wasn't a popular name in Yale. Subby's got the Venn Diagram blues.


You are correct, sir:

The No. 1 name of 1994, Jessica, was on the Yale list too. But seven of the top 12 girls' names of 1994-Ashley (No. 2), Samantha (No. 4), Taylor (No. 6), Brittany (No. 7), Amanda (No. 8), Nicole (No. 11), and Kayla (No. 12)-failed to appear on the Yale list.

This puts us in the uncomfortable position of acknowledging that a Fark headline may be misinformed, or (worse yet!) outright incorrect.
 
2013-03-04 07:04:26 PM  
demetrius.5mp.eu

S'imynthah is a contraction of an offensive word that takes longer to pronounce than the known age of the universe.
 
2013-03-04 07:04:36 PM  
Correlation causation etc. This looks to me more like "tradition-minded white parents are more likely to push their kids into Yale".
 
2013-03-04 07:07:49 PM  
LaShockqua is in the wings
 
2013-03-04 07:10:14 PM  
Simianthe
 
2013-03-04 07:10:37 PM  
Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.
 
2013-03-04 07:10:40 PM  
I dunno about that, Subby. The idea of the star of Bewitched doing a striptease would have kept me in my bunk for days.
 
2013-03-04 07:11:23 PM  
Delores!
 
2013-03-04 07:11:51 PM  
The people who were taught growing up that high self-esteem was their inalienable right regardless of of how useless they were are now naming their children.  Were you expecting common sense?
 
2013-03-04 07:12:12 PM  

poxic: Correlation causation etc. This looks to me more like "tradition-minded white parents are more likely to push their kids into Yale".


I recall that the biggest indicator of success is how much money your parents make. There are still plenty of poor white people, of course.
 
2013-03-04 07:14:40 PM  

UsikFark: [demetrius.5mp.eu image 470x352]

S'imynthah is a contraction of an offensive word that takes longer to pronounce than the known age of the universe.


This is pretty much exactly where I took that name...

/ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
 
2013-03-04 07:14:51 PM  
And notably, parents whose daughters were destined for Yale went way, way down the list-past all the dead-enders like "Jasmine" or "Morgan" or "Amber"-to choose the 185th most popular name of 1994, Sophia. Jumping ahead a generation: As of 2011, the most recent year for which the Social Security Administration has released name rankings, Sophia had risen to become the No. 1 name for baby girls. The Yale parents already knew.

I blame The Golden Girls.

/2011's 185th most popular name was Hayden.
 
2013-03-04 07:18:17 PM  
Wondering if this takes into account all of the Asian students who were not born in the US in 1994, but who are attending Yale. In my experience, people from Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, etc. tend to adopt very traditional Western names, like Peter and Charles. Just curious how that skews this data.
 
2013-03-04 07:18:38 PM  
If your last name is Bush they let you right in.
 
2013-03-04 07:19:49 PM  
Yes, what you name your child definitely dictates their entire future. Look at me, I grew up to be a brain in a jar.
 
2013-03-04 07:21:58 PM  
This shiat...what the fark is it?
 
2013-03-04 07:22:20 PM  
What is wrong or bad with "being on the pole?"  It's entertainment, dammit. Oh, I'm sorry if I offended any Christians.
 
2013-03-04 07:22:48 PM  

Shirley Ujest: Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.


No, they pay it back one dollar at a time
 
2013-03-04 07:24:15 PM  
 "Gemma"

never name your kid something like Gemma. the name is Gemantha. if you want to call her by a nickname when she's young, fine, but when she's applying for college or jobs or sugar daddies, she needs to be able to use "Gemantha".
 
2013-03-04 07:25:34 PM  

reillan: UsikFark: [demetrius.5mp.eu image 470x352]

S'imynthah is a contraction of an offensive word that takes longer to pronounce than the known age of the universe.

This is pretty much exactly where I took that name...

/ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn


The funny thing is that connotation aside, it literally describes the state in which a colloid like milk separates from a homogeneous fluid like water. The random motion of the particles makes the event unlikely to happen in any reasonable amount of time.
 
2013-03-04 07:27:56 PM  
"Gemma" (sorry)

i46.tinypic.com

Sorry?
 
2013-03-04 07:28:15 PM  
Favorite pet's name + street you used to live on
 
2013-03-04 07:28:20 PM  
hey at least they aren't selling the last shovel at home depot.

www.blogiversity.org
 
2013-03-04 07:28:57 PM  

the801: she needs to be able to use "Gemantha".


In a sentence.
Like:
Gemantha he was hung, but affa las nite he nose wadda needledik he is.
 
2013-03-04 07:29:15 PM  

reillan: UsikFark: [demetrius.5mp.eu image 470x352]

S'imynthah is a contraction of an offensive word that takes longer to pronounce than the known age of the universe.

This is pretty much exactly where I took that name...

/ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn


I WISH YOU PEOPLE WOULDN'T WAKE ME UP UNLESS IT'S IMPORTANT.
 
2013-03-04 07:30:10 PM  

Anne.Uumellmahaye: Yes, what you name your child definitely dictates their entire future. Look at me, I grew up to be a brain in a jar.


But your name isn't "Abby Normal".
 
2013-03-04 07:30:24 PM  
If i ever have a boy and a girl I want to name them Phil and Sophia.
 
2013-03-04 07:31:21 PM  
A TESTIMONIAL FROM A READER


When I was a young father-to-be I read a Fark headline that said naming your daughter Samantha rather than S'imynthah would keep her off of the pole. Since this is exactly what I was planning to name my daughter over the objections of my wife, I took the hint to heart and named my daughter Sam instead of S'imynthah.

Well, let me tell you, it kept her off of the stripper pole, but when she was 25 she became a gorgeous fireman. He still goes by the name Sam though, so he's got that going for him, and also he doesn't strip although several of his buddies do.

My wife left me long ago but I can have a few beers with my son Sam when he comes over to watch the Superbowl with the guys, several of whom are male strippers because their fathers lacked the good advice and foresight to give them a plain redblooded American name like Sam rather than Priscilla or Mehitabel.

Thanks Fark Subby, whoever you are!


N.B. This is what happens when you take advice from Farkers.
 
2013-03-04 07:34:19 PM  
I hear the pole is hard to kick. Horrible withdrawals....
 
2013-03-04 07:34:34 PM  

cthulhu: reillan: UsikFark: [demetrius.5mp.eu image 470x352]

S'imynthah is a contraction of an offensive word that takes longer to pronounce than the known age of the universe.

This is pretty much exactly where I took that name...

/ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

I WISH YOU PEOPLE WOULDN'T WAKE ME UP UNLESS IT'S IMPORTANT.


I saw a turtle.
 
2013-03-04 07:34:46 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: What is wrong or bad with "being on the pole?"  It's entertainment, dammit. Oh, I'm sorry if I offended any Christians.


Gave your Mom a tip last night, very entertaining
 
2013-03-04 07:34:46 PM  
A former colleague has a son named 'Jacksyn'. What relevance this has, I have no idea, but it's just a farked-up name.
 
2013-03-04 07:36:30 PM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Favorite pet's name + street you used to live on


Pandemonium Eminence.... Which is an oddly nerd chick stripped name.
 
2013-03-04 07:36:39 PM  
This headline is invalid due to the fact that strippers don't use their actual names on stage.
 
2013-03-04 07:38:17 PM  
Who ever heard of a skinny girl named "Rhonda"?
 
2013-03-04 07:39:59 PM  
On the other hand if you go out with someone named Samantha she'll take your melt.
 
2013-03-04 07:41:47 PM  

ReapTheChaos: This headline is invalid due to the fact that strippers don't use their actual names on stage.


Yeah, this. Their real names are Crystal and Karen and Brittany. Their stage names are Champagne and Velvet and Raquel.
 
2013-03-04 07:41:59 PM  

poxic: Correlation causation etc. This looks to me more like "tradition-minded white parents are more likely to push their kids into Yale".


Actually, more like dumb white-trash parents giving their kids "rich" sounding names that the actual rich abandoned two decades ago.
 
2013-03-04 07:42:12 PM  
This article is a perfect example of correlation not implying causation. Those names that didn't make it to Yale would be the kind of names given by poorer families, those kinds of people who couldn't afford to send a kid to Yale in the first place. The name is the effect, not the cause.
 
2013-03-04 07:42:21 PM  
Boy or girl, I'm naming my kid, Jesus Ezekial Jesus.
 
2013-03-04 07:43:02 PM  
The total Cost of Attendance for attending Yale in 2012-2013 is $58,600, which includes tuition ($42,300), room ($7,150), board ($5,850), and books and personal expenses ($3,300).  - yale.edu

Chances are that even if your parents name you Candy Kane, if they can afford to send you to Yale, not to mention the preceding thirteen years of private and prep school, you aren't going to end up pole dancing.
 
2013-03-04 07:44:27 PM  

Shirley Ujest: Strippers don't have to pay back college loans.



For some majors, stripping may be the ONLY way they'll get paid.
 
2013-03-04 07:44:39 PM  

poxic: Correlation causation etc. This looks to me more like "tradition-minded white parents are more likely to push their kids into Yale".


Yep.

If your name is unique *but* chosen with care you'll be ok too from my anecdotal experience but maybe off the beaten path. Worked with a kid named Enkidu who was flipping brilliant but also knew his name well. Likewise with two current coworkers - never met anyone else with their names but their parents both chose with care.

/one of my favorite getting to know you questions : what's your full name and why
//my mother was unimaginative for my first. Quite fond of my middle though... my middle + last names mean that even though my first was stupid popular in the 80s I'm still unique on Google
 
2013-03-04 07:46:33 PM  

lostcat: Wondering if this takes into account all of the Asian students who were not born in the US in 1994, but who are attending Yale. In my experience, people from Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, etc. tend to adopt very traditional Western names, like Peter and Charles. Just curious how that skews this data.


Every "Grace" under the age of 60 I've met, is either an immigrant, or a first generation Asian-American.
 
2013-03-04 07:47:09 PM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Favorite pet's name + street you used to live on


Balto 42nd ?

Guess It's a long line of noble gigolos.
 
2013-03-04 07:47:37 PM  

vudukungfu: the801: she needs to be able to use "Gemantha".

In a sentence.
Like:
Gemantha he was hung, but affa las nite he nose wadda needledik he is.


images2.wikia.nocookie.net
"Gemantha he was hung, but affa las nite he nose wadda needledik he is"
 
2013-03-04 07:48:13 PM  

red5ish: The total Cost of Attendance for attending Yale in 2012-2013 is $58,600, which includes tuition ($42,300), room ($7,150), board ($5,850), and books and personal expenses ($3,300).  - yale.edu

Chances are that even if your parents name you Candy Kane, if they can afford to send you to Yale, not to mention the preceding thirteen years of private and prep school, you aren't going to end up pole dancing.


If your parents can afford that and didn't inherit wealth a la Beverly Hillbillies they wouldn't name you Candy in the first place. Maybe as a nickname you can take up again once you get your MRS degree but that's it
 
2013-03-04 07:49:07 PM  
Going to Yale or being a stripper?... not that much difference.

/harvard
 
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