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(Huffington Post)   Is the Catholic Church ready for a Jesuit Pope? Well, that's a very complex question and it all depends on how you define your terms. If we assume argueendo, that by "ready" we mean in a state of preparedness, and if we further postulate that..,   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 35
    More: Interesting, Jorge Mario Bergoglio, Leonardo Sandri, Catholic Church, argentina, complex question, National Catholic Reporter, Cristina Fernandez, John Paul II  
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5142 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 3:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-04 03:26:57 PM
6 votes:
i36.photobucket.com
2013-03-04 03:32:52 PM
5 votes:
www.bartcop.com
2013-03-04 03:30:12 PM
5 votes:
Bergoglio would likely encourage the church's 400,000 priests to hit the streets to capture more souls.

1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-04 03:56:51 PM
4 votes:

AnotherBluesStringer: DamnYankees: Magorn: ranciscans, Dominicans, Benedictines, Jesuits, Little Sisters of the Poor, Sisters of Saint Joseph, and Christian Borthers , are probably the biggest religious orders and the ones most people are familiar with (as they all run schools or make booze) but there are probably thousands altogether each with their own rules and traditions

Admit it - you made up 2 of those last 3.

Yeah, what the hell is a "Christian Borther?"


Someone who's not satisfied even after they have seen the long-form borth certificate....
2013-03-04 05:03:22 PM
3 votes:
A short version of a favorite joke of mine:

A man hears a rumor that if he prays a Novena he will receive a Lamborghini.

Knowing a Novena is a "Catholic thing" he takes himself to a Benedictine Abbey and knocks on the door.  He asks the monk who answers, "I hear that if I pray a Novena I get a Lamborghini...please tell me how!"

The monk says, "I'm sorry; what's a Lamborghini?"

The man's next stop is a Jesuit residence, and once again, he knocks on the door and says, "I hear that if I pray a Novena I get a Lamborghini...please tell me how!"

The Jesuit replies, "What's a Novena?"
2013-03-04 04:05:26 PM
3 votes:
They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to argue a Jesuit. That's the Capitoline way!
2013-03-04 04:05:05 PM
3 votes:

Braindeath: As someone who went to a Jesuit University, A+ headline.


As someone who went to a public university;  I have no idea what's going on.
2013-03-04 03:49:28 PM
3 votes:

Magorn: God's marines"


i1.cdnds.net
Father Octavian sees what you did there.
2013-03-04 04:24:02 PM
2 votes:

DamnYankees: As a non-Christian, I have never understood what a Jesuit is or how it's different than any other kind of Christian.


A non-Jesuit priest will use a ruler to smack your knuckles when you misbehave. A Jesuit priest will use a yard stick.

/and after that he will make you solve a math problem using that same yard stick.
//a complex math problem
///with no calculator
2013-03-04 04:07:31 PM
2 votes:

neversubmit: Fake bishop sneaks into pre-conclave meeting at Vatican

Too bad he didn't sneak cameras in... unless it's one big lemon party.


Dude, it's totally a sausage fest.
2013-03-04 03:40:39 PM
2 votes:
Chris Hansen for Pope.
2013-03-04 03:39:17 PM
2 votes:
If there is a Secret Vatican Intelligence Service, its run by the Jesuits.

/HUDSON HAWK was a documentary.
2013-03-04 03:32:59 PM
2 votes:

KidKorporate: fark them and their silly rape-shame cult.


www.thatwouldbesomething.com
♪ ♫ Some people wanna fill the woooooooorrrrld with silly rape-shame ♫ ♪
2013-03-04 03:24:04 PM
2 votes:

unlikely: Oh, and as an order they had a less-than-100% smooth interaction with Benedict-the-Ex


Oh dear lord I remember one of the Jesuit priests at my undergrad (GO XAVIER) was super-pissed at Benedict...
(As far as I can tell, Jesuits tend to fall into two categories: Pretty damn liberal, or, well, those that would have been at home in the inqusition. He was the former, to the point that he was the unofficial spiritual advisor to the campus GLBT club.). The "Gay people can't become priests" one pissed him off the most, because according to the catholic church (if I remember right!), It's homosexual *sex* that's the sin, not being homosexual (because all non-pro-creative sex is a sin to the church), and if they're going to be priests, they're (ideally) going to be celibate and...

Yeaaaah I thought he was about to pop a vein.
2013-03-04 03:17:10 PM
2 votes:

DamnYankees: Magorn: ranciscans, Dominicans, Benedictines, Jesuits, Little Sisters of the Poor, Sisters of Saint Joseph, and Christian Borthers , are probably the biggest religious orders and the ones most people are familiar with (as they all run schools or make booze) but there are probably thousands altogether each with their own rules and traditions

Admit it - you made up 2 of those last 3.


Yeah, what the hell is a "Christian Borther?"
2013-03-04 10:38:41 PM
1 votes:

Ikam: Braindeath: As someone who went to a Jesuit University, A+ headline.

As a former Jesuit university attendee (Loyola University Chicago),  I too approve of this headline.  I was always fond of that St. Ignatius quote that was blazoned over one of the doors.  "Go forth and set the world on fire."


A mate of mine from Stonyhurst always translated AMDG on his schoolwork as "all men drink gin."
2013-03-04 07:34:09 PM
1 votes:
What's a Novena?

5 bucks, same as uptown!
2013-03-04 07:21:47 PM
1 votes:
Any descendants of the Borgias left?
Any of them a cardinal?
2013-03-04 06:00:28 PM
1 votes:

TuteTibiImperes: The stories, names, rules, and rituals have evolved and changed in different ways over time in different cultures, but that doesn't mean they can't all have come from the same source.



except those muslim bastards with their stupid koran.  their god is a rock in mecca and they pray to the crescent moon.  give me king james bible or STFU.
2013-03-04 05:37:45 PM
1 votes:

MisterTweak: I'm still not sure it was them encouraging the relentless pursuit of logical analysis, or just figuring out how to troll us spectacularly.


If you press many Jesuits they come across as sounding more like Quakers than Catholics, that is to say they believe in at most one God. But they're not real hot to trot about dogma.

Jim_Callahan: Follow it up by nominating someone both personally and factionally unaffiliated with the entities involved in the scandal.


The danger with a Jesuit is that he'll just start handing over evidence to the authorities and alert them to the locations of whoever it is they want to talk to.
gja [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 05:13:33 PM
1 votes:

WalMartian: A short version of a favorite joke of mine:

A man hears a rumor that if he prays a Novena he will receive a Lamborghini.

Knowing a Novena is a "Catholic thing" he takes himself to a Benedictine Abbey and knocks on the door.  He asks the monk who answers, "I hear that if I pray a Novena I get a Lamborghini...please tell me how!"

The monk says, "I'm sorry; what's a Lamborghini?"

The man's next stop is a Jesuit residence, and once again, he knocks on the door and says, "I hear that if I pray a Novena I get a Lamborghini...please tell me how!"

The Jesuit replies, "What's a Novena?"


What's a Lamborghini?
Here's a model most guys would like to :::ahem::: get 'into'.
Yes, she is the daughter. Yes, she is damned cute.
2013-03-04 05:11:55 PM
1 votes:
The thing with Jesuits is they're as has been mentioned academics, hardcore academics, a Jesuit will be as glad to teach you calculus or the history of the middle ages as he will be to teach you anything from the Bible. And many would rather teach you the calculus or history. What that academic background creates is an extremely thin tolerance for bullshiat from the church on various issues. They know the history, they know exactly what is dogma, when that dogma was created, what's a teaching etc etc. So when the Pope or someone else hauls off saying some teaching or something not even of that level can't be changed, the Jesuits tend to get a bit ticked. And they don't exactly care, many of them at any rate, for how the church has been run lately and how it's handled certain things. And there are plenty of Catholics who really don't like Jesuits because of their historical reputation and their attitudes towards certain things. It's no problem to find a Jesuit who will tell you there's no reason women can't be ordained as priests no matter what the church may officially try to claim. And that sort of thing doesn't sit well with people. If a Jesuit were elected Pope, once he got enough young cardinals in place, another ecumenical council probably Vatican III would be damn near certain. And if anyone thinks some people were a bit upset at what the church did at Vatican II, that would be nothing to what a Jesuit could have happen.
2013-03-04 05:08:58 PM
1 votes:

over_and_done: cptjeff: WalMartian: cptjeff: WinoRhino: O'Malley wears plain brown robes, sandals, and sold the fancy residence and moved into a small apartment.

Huh, a real Bishop Myriel. Who was actually based on a real person, but that's beside the point.


\Gonna see if that one's too obscure for fark.
\\I think a few people around here have actually read the book, so maybe not.

I have, and it's not.

/24601

We should organize some sort of cabal or something. Meet me at the ABC Cafe sometime, we can figure out a few things then.

Ooh, ooh, I have some ideas for the colors of the tee-shirts!


Lemme guess; red and black?
2013-03-04 04:47:32 PM
1 votes:

AnotherBluesStringer: DamnYankees: Magorn: ranciscans, Dominicans, Benedictines, Jesuits, Little Sisters of the Poor, Sisters of Saint Joseph, and Christian Borthers , are probably the biggest religious orders and the ones most people are familiar with (as they all run schools or make booze) but there are probably thousands altogether each with their own rules and traditions

Admit it - you made up 2 of those last 3.

Yeah, what the hell is a "Christian Borther?"


That's the sound my stomach makes when I drink too much
www.surfnsandliquors.com
gja [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 04:01:41 PM
1 votes:

xmasbaby: The Jesuits are sort of the Navy Seals of the priesthood.  With a Jesuit Pope, I wouldn't be surprised to see public hangings of pedophile priests in Vatican Square.


Hell I might actually start going to church again if that got me preferred seating at those events.
2013-03-04 03:52:50 PM
1 votes:
A guy I used to work with though a Jesuit was another word for a Jewish.  This has nothing to do with the thread, but it led to some funny situations involving another coworker who went to a Jesuit university, and my friend being perplexed that he was eating pork.
2013-03-04 03:48:33 PM
1 votes:
This is all a waste of time because it is an obsolete myhtological framework that is losing its relevance as we speak. Only stupid people give a crap who's the f*cking pope. There's nothing less deserving of the public's interest than an old bad-breath baby raper.
2013-03-04 03:45:44 PM
1 votes:
This choice affects me not in the least.

media-cache-ec1.pinterest.com

Unless they put him in there, then I might consider converting
2013-03-04 03:45:27 PM
1 votes:

I Ate Shergar: Bergoglio would likely encourage the church's 400,000 priests to hit the streets to capture more souls.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 819x461]


1.bp.blogspot.com
goldderby.latimes.com
2013-03-04 03:44:21 PM
1 votes:

DamnYankees: As a non-Christian, I have never understood what a Jesuit is or how it's different than any other kind of Christian.


They're less about the guilting and more about the learning.

neversubmit: [www.bartcop.com image 500x452]


I thought that was Mel Brooks for a second.

Boy was I surprised.
2013-03-04 03:43:54 PM
1 votes:
As a survivor of a Jesuit University, I say go for it.
2013-03-04 03:30:09 PM
1 votes:
make sure he doesn't have any cruciforms on him first.
2013-03-04 03:27:35 PM
1 votes:
That made me laugh far more than it should have.

Well effing played, subby.

/Jesuits generally kick ass
//Christian Brothers not so much
///anecdotal experience is anecdotal
2013-03-04 03:08:30 PM
1 votes:

Magorn: ranciscans, Dominicans, Benedictines, Jesuits, Little Sisters of the Poor, Sisters of Saint Joseph, and Christian Borthers , are probably the biggest religious orders and the ones most people are familiar with (as they all run schools or make booze) but there are probably thousands altogether each with their own rules and traditions


Admit it - you made up 2 of those last 3.
2013-03-04 02:58:46 PM
1 votes:
Subby should take the extra 'e' out of 'arguendo' and give it to 'depends'.  Subby shouldn't let arguendo be greedy with the 'e's.
 
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