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(Huffington Post)   Is the Catholic Church ready for a Jesuit Pope? Well, that's a very complex question and it all depends on how you define your terms. If we assume argueendo, that by "ready" we mean in a state of preparedness, and if we further postulate that..,   (huffingtonpost.com ) divider line 159
    More: Interesting, Jorge Mario Bergoglio, Leonardo Sandri, Catholic Church, argentina, complex question, National Catholic Reporter, Cristina Fernandez, John Paul II  
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5156 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 3:20 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-04 03:49:03 PM  
The Jesuits seem like the hoopy froods in the Catholic church.

That said, this story is much like all the others about the pope-that-might-be:

The church appears to be walking around in circles muttering "who are we?" over and over.
 
2013-03-04 03:49:28 PM  

Magorn: God's marines"


i1.cdnds.net
Father Octavian sees what you did there.
 
2013-03-04 03:49:41 PM  
Somebody is gonna open up a can of awesome silence now.
 
2013-03-04 03:49:52 PM  
 
2013-03-04 03:50:52 PM  

Contents Under Pressure: Guys who attended Jesuit high schools not only tend to be hotter than your average guy, but also tend to be atheists.

Something about a Jesuit education that just makes people say, "WTF is this Sht?" (picard.jpg) and leave the church.


That's a good point. My brother went to a pretty good Jesuit high school, and I was offered a scholarship myself, but declined. No girls? No music program? No thank you. Every one I know who went there loves to talk about all the benefits of a Jesuit education. Also. none of them are practicing Catholics anymore.
 
2013-03-04 03:51:25 PM  

Skwach: Chach: hardinparamedic: So what does this mean for the Catholic Church's institutional cover-up of pedophilia and child predators for the past 1000 years?

It's been going on for 1000 years? Citation needed.

No, I think by now the burden of proof lies with the church. Usually, I do fall back on the presumption of innocence, but not on this anymore.
I think even the last 1,000 years is cutting them a break. We know that old Roman bureaucracies rolled into the Catholic Church as the empire collapsed. We also know that it was very common for Roman officials to have their boy as well as their wife. This practice continued even after it became sinful.


At one point, the Catholic establishment considered it strange if a priest wasn't married. Most priests in heretical sects would remain celibate, causing allegations that they were homosexuals. The term "buggery" comes from a word used to describe one of these sects from Bulgaria. So, no, that was not standard operating procedure in the ancient church.
 
2013-03-04 03:52:50 PM  
A guy I used to work with though a Jesuit was another word for a Jewish.  This has nothing to do with the thread, but it led to some funny situations involving another coworker who went to a Jesuit university, and my friend being perplexed that he was eating pork.
 
2013-03-04 03:53:25 PM  
s3.amazonaws.com

Jesuit-educated. Knows something about a Hail Mary.
 
2013-03-04 03:53:27 PM  
The Jesuits are sort of the Navy Seals of the priesthood.  With a Jesuit Pope, I wouldn't be surprised to see public hangings of pedophile priests in Vatican Square.
 
2013-03-04 03:56:03 PM  

Marine1: Skwach: Chach: hardinparamedic: So what does this mean for the Catholic Church's institutional cover-up of pedophilia and child predators for the past 1000 years?

It's been going on for 1000 years? Citation needed.

No, I think by now the burden of proof lies with the church. Usually, I do fall back on the presumption of innocence, but not on this anymore.
I think even the last 1,000 years is cutting them a break. We know that old Roman bureaucracies rolled into the Catholic Church as the empire collapsed. We also know that it was very common for Roman officials to have their boy as well as their wife. This practice continued even after it became sinful.

At one point, the Catholic establishment considered it strange if a priest wasn't married. Most priests in heretical sects would remain celibate, causing allegations that they were homosexuals. The term "buggery" comes from a word used to describe one of these sects from Bulgaria. So, no, that was not standard operating procedure in the ancient church.


And it wasn't but a couple centuries before those 'heretical sects' became the mainstream, and everybody else became heretical
 
2013-03-04 03:56:51 PM  

AnotherBluesStringer: DamnYankees: Magorn: ranciscans, Dominicans, Benedictines, Jesuits, Little Sisters of the Poor, Sisters of Saint Joseph, and Christian Borthers , are probably the biggest religious orders and the ones most people are familiar with (as they all run schools or make booze) but there are probably thousands altogether each with their own rules and traditions

Admit it - you made up 2 of those last 3.

Yeah, what the hell is a "Christian Borther?"


Someone who's not satisfied even after they have seen the long-form borth certificate....
 
2013-03-04 03:57:04 PM  
I thought that even the Jesuits were not to keen on that possibility?
 
2013-03-04 03:57:06 PM  

xmasbaby: The Jesuits are sort of the Navy Seals of the priesthood.  With a Jesuit Pope, I wouldn't be surprised to see public hangings of pedophile priests in Vatican Square.


Captain Howdy Approved.
 
2013-03-04 03:57:12 PM  

xmasbaby: The Jesuits are sort of the Navy Seals of the priesthood.  With a Jesuit Pope, I wouldn't be surprised to see public hangings of pedophile priests in Vatican Square.


Id be ok with this
 
2013-03-04 03:58:14 PM  

Stephen_Falken: This is all a waste of time because it is an obsolete myhtological framework that is losing its relevance as we speak. Only stupid people give a crap who's the f*cking pope. There's nothing less deserving of the public's interest than an old bad-breath baby raper.


You seem to remember this well. Recent?
 
2013-03-04 03:58:31 PM  

Sun Khan: Magorn: God's marines"

[i1.cdnds.net image 550x637]
Father Octavian sees what you did there.


Doctor Who, A Game of Thrones, and Ripper Street... This guy is awesome.

On topic: I think I'd be happier if a less sophisticated branch of the Catholic Church got the bridge-building job. The Jesuits have perfected avoiding cognitive dissonance, and that's really not something I'd like to see in anyone considered an authority on moral sexual practices.
 
2013-03-04 03:58:32 PM  
I have $10 on Turkson and O'Malley.
 
2013-03-04 03:59:25 PM  
Fake bishop sneaks into pre-conclave meeting at Vatican

Vatican City, March 4 - A fake bishop managed to sneak into a pre-conclave meeting of cardinals at the Vatican on Monday. The imposter's cassock was shorter than standard, the chain on his crucifix was unusual, and his purple episcopal sash turned out to be a scarf. But he still managed to blend in for some time with the more than 100 cardinals assembled from around the world at the general congregation, which precedes the secret meetings of the conclave to elect a new pope later this month. The phony, reportedly Australian, was eventually identified and kicked out to the visible amusement of journalists nearby.

Too bad he didn't sneak cameras in... unless it's one big lemon party.
 
gja
2013-03-04 04:01:41 PM  

xmasbaby: The Jesuits are sort of the Navy Seals of the priesthood.  With a Jesuit Pope, I wouldn't be surprised to see public hangings of pedophile priests in Vatican Square.


Hell I might actually start going to church again if that got me preferred seating at those events.
 
2013-03-04 04:02:22 PM  

serial_crusher: A guy I used to work with though a Jesuit was another word for a Jewish.  This has nothing to do with the thread, but it led to some funny situations involving another coworker who went to a Jesuit university, and my friend being perplexed that he was eating pork.


Sounds like he would tell an Austrian "G'day mate!"
 
2013-03-04 04:02:25 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: [s3.amazonaws.com image 340x498]

Jesuit-educated. Knows something about a Hail Mary.


Can score on a drop-kick and throw a good knuckleball.  I'd vote for him.
 
2013-03-04 04:03:18 PM  

WinoRhino: I have $10 on Turkson and O'Malley.


A black Pope?


Well, I suppose if it worked on Blazing Saddles...
 
2013-03-04 04:04:18 PM  

DamnYankees: As a non-Christian, I have never understood what a Jesuit is or how it's different than any other kind of Christian.


I'm not certain how to translate "oft-sarcastic prankster" into latin, but I bet I would find whatever that phrase is popping up frequently in the early writings about jesuits.

If you want social connections, join a methodist church. Fervor (and girls who like to drink)? Baptist. A serious party? Adventist. Low-key? Presbyterian. Mitt Romney's educated relatives? Episcopal. An argument? Jesuit. A fully-escalated holy war about the designated-hitter rule? Two jesuits. (seriously - I have an uncle who's a jesuit. I'll argue abortion, the existence of god, the nature of good vs. evil, and I'll have a worthy and enjoyable opponent. Baseball? I know my limits...)(more accurately, they're a subset of the catholic church, and I think - at least in the US - they are more of a presence on the east coast than in other parts of the country.)
 
2013-03-04 04:05:05 PM  

Braindeath: As someone who went to a Jesuit University, A+ headline.


As someone who went to a public university;  I have no idea what's going on.
 
2013-03-04 04:05:26 PM  
They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to argue a Jesuit. That's the Capitoline way!
 
2013-03-04 04:06:09 PM  

WinoRhino: I have $10 on Turkson and O'Malley.


I've said it before, I really want to see Turkson get elected.  The butt hurt would be glorious.
 
2013-03-04 04:06:10 PM  

DamnYankees: As a non-Christian, I have never understood what a Jesuit is or how it's different than any other kind of Christian.


It's an order of Catholics founded in 1540 to win back the people who converted to protestantism in the reformation, later on they fell foul of the other Catholic authorities. They are very well educated (and run very good schoosl), well organised and well disciplined. Amongst Catholics, Jesuits tend to be the most intellectually rigorous, and these days are quite theologically liberal. The Vatican has usually had an uneasy relationship with them.
 
2013-03-04 04:06:18 PM  
Too old - both of them!
 
2013-03-04 04:07:31 PM  

neversubmit: Fake bishop sneaks into pre-conclave meeting at Vatican

Too bad he didn't sneak cameras in... unless it's one big lemon party.


Dude, it's totally a sausage fest.
 
2013-03-04 04:08:38 PM  
Wait, they still won't let Nuns vote?  What?  Not even, "The Penguin?"

/bluesbros.jpg
 
2013-03-04 04:12:12 PM  

show me: SLU?


Yes indeedy. My parents were afraid that'd I'd do little but bang co-eds and do drugs if I went to Mizzou (which I said I'd pay for) so they paid for SLU to keep me in town.

Suffice it to say, their cunning plan didn't really work. But hey, I met my wife, who's a damn sight more responsible than I am, so maybe it did.
 
2013-03-04 04:14:31 PM  

neritz: WinoRhino: I have $10 on Turkson and O'Malley.

I've said it before, I really want to see Turkson get elected.  The butt hurt would be glorious.


David Icke's head would explode.
 
2013-03-04 04:21:45 PM  
As someone who has a close friend who's a Jesuit; well played, subby.  You captured the thought process very well.  (Google "reservatio mentalis")
 
2013-03-04 04:22:19 PM  
www.corporate-aliens.com
 
2013-03-04 04:24:02 PM  

DamnYankees: As a non-Christian, I have never understood what a Jesuit is or how it's different than any other kind of Christian.


A non-Jesuit priest will use a ruler to smack your knuckles when you misbehave. A Jesuit priest will use a yard stick.

/and after that he will make you solve a math problem using that same yard stick.
//a complex math problem
///with no calculator
 
2013-03-04 04:25:26 PM  

neritz: WinoRhino: I have $10 on Turkson and O'Malley.

I've said it before, I really want to see Turkson get elected.  The butt hurt would be glorious.


That's the one reason I have him in there. A black US president and a black Pope? In my lifetime? It's more likely than you think! Pure awesome. Anyhow, I'm no longer a Catholic, but being raised in that faith, I think O'Malley is my sincere pick. He's worked with many abuse victims, some of whom have gone out of their way to say how much they appreciated him. Also, when he took over in the Boston area for Law, he eschewed all of the trappings the Law seemed to revel in. O'Malley wears plain brown robes, sandals, and sold the fancy residence and moved into a small apartment. He has doctorates in Spanish and Portuguese literature and is very well-respected in those cultures (40% of Catholics being from South America, that's a plus).
 
2013-03-04 04:26:18 PM  
They really need somebody with a knowledge of martial arts.
www.atomicbooks.com
 
2013-03-04 04:28:09 PM  
How can you do worse than electing a Hitler youth as Pope? Seriously.
 
2013-03-04 04:31:59 PM  

rufus-t-firefly: Anyone not in (or friendly toward)  Opus Dei would be an improvement.


Yeah, those assholes sent an albino assassin monk to kill my buddy at the Louvre, and it was NOT cool.
 
2013-03-04 04:34:14 PM  

serial_crusher: A guy I used to work with though a Jesuit was another word for a Jewish.  This has nothing to do with the thread, but it led to some funny situations involving another coworker who went to a Jesuit university, and my friend being perplexed that he was eating pork.


I would be very very afraid to watch a theologigal debate between an old-school rabbi and a Jesuit.  the chance of my head going full-on Scanners would be very high
 
2013-03-04 04:36:56 PM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: That made me laugh far more than it should have.

Well effing played, subby.

/Jesuits generally kick ass


I admit, I LOL'd.

I've liked the Jesuits ever since the character of Captain Sinclair on Babylon 5 mentioned (while playing a prank) that he was educated by Jesuits.  That, in turn, prompted me to go look them and do some reading.
 
2013-03-04 04:39:00 PM  

xmasbaby: The Jesuits are sort of the Navy Seals of the priesthood.


This deserves a photoshop.

WinoRhino: neritz: WinoRhino: I have $10 on Turkson and O'Malley.

I've said it before, I really want to see Turkson get elected.  The butt hurt would be glorious.

That's the one reason I have him in there. A black US president and a black Pope? In my lifetime? It's more likely than you think! Pure awesome. Anyhow, I'm no longer a Catholic, but being raised in that faith, I think O'Malley is my sincere pick. He's worked with many abuse victims, some of whom have gone out of their way to say how much they appreciated him. Also, when he took over in the Boston area for Law, he eschewed all of the trappings the Law seemed to revel in. O'Malley wears plain brown robes, sandals, and sold the fancy residence and moved into a small apartment. He has doctorates in Spanish and Portuguese literature and is very well-respected in those cultures (40% of Catholics being from South America, that's a plus).


Not terribly familiar with the Cardinals anymore, but based on your description I like the cut of his jib.

Never much a fan of the ostentatious priests.  The church I was born and raised in had an awesome priest who lived in a modest house and had the audacity to fall in love and get married.  The one they sent to take over immediately set about doing $40,000 grand on home improvements.  Y'know, for a house down the road from my parents (and their assessed value was in the high five figures).

/married former priest used to make pizzelles from scratch for bakesales and for the two weeks a year we had a rotating homeless shelter in our church
//he was kind and humble
///don't know if the Catholic church has any sort of folks they hold in high esteem who shared those same attributes
////sarcasm!
 
2013-03-04 04:39:54 PM  
The CSC, is also a teaching order.  Go Notre Dame!
 
2013-03-04 04:42:24 PM  

WinoRhino: O'Malley wears plain brown robes, sandals, and sold the fancy residence and moved into a small apartment.


Huh, a real Bishop Myriel. Who was actually based on a real person, but that's beside the point.


\Gonna see if that one's too obscure for fark.
\\I think a few people around here have actually read the book, so maybe not.
 
2013-03-04 04:45:16 PM  

cptjeff: WinoRhino: O'Malley wears plain brown robes, sandals, and sold the fancy residence and moved into a small apartment.

Huh, a real Bishop Myriel. Who was actually based on a real person, but that's beside the point.


\Gonna see if that one's too obscure for fark.
\\I think a few people around here have actually read the book, so maybe not.


I have, and it's not.

/24601
 
2013-03-04 04:47:32 PM  

AnotherBluesStringer: DamnYankees: Magorn: ranciscans, Dominicans, Benedictines, Jesuits, Little Sisters of the Poor, Sisters of Saint Joseph, and Christian Borthers , are probably the biggest religious orders and the ones most people are familiar with (as they all run schools or make booze) but there are probably thousands altogether each with their own rules and traditions

Admit it - you made up 2 of those last 3.

Yeah, what the hell is a "Christian Borther?"


That's the sound my stomach makes when I drink too much
www.surfnsandliquors.com
 
2013-03-04 04:54:42 PM  

MisterTweak: An argument? Jesuit. A fully-escalated holy war about the designated-hitter rule? Two jesuits


I went to a Jesuit high school in buffalo and two of the Jesuits (one a history teacher, the other math) both mentioned that 1958 was the worst year ever since that was the year the dodgers moved to LA.  Also, 1898 was the second worst year since that was when Brooklyn was merged into NY.
 
2013-03-04 04:57:06 PM  

Braindeath: As someone who went to a Jesuit University, A+ headline.


This.

/Regis U, '12
 
2013-03-04 05:03:11 PM  
It's funny that the Jesuits value logic, but forget the first rule of logic: garbage in, garbage out.
 
2013-03-04 05:03:22 PM  
A short version of a favorite joke of mine:

A man hears a rumor that if he prays a Novena he will receive a Lamborghini.

Knowing a Novena is a "Catholic thing" he takes himself to a Benedictine Abbey and knocks on the door.  He asks the monk who answers, "I hear that if I pray a Novena I get a Lamborghini...please tell me how!"

The monk says, "I'm sorry; what's a Lamborghini?"

The man's next stop is a Jesuit residence, and once again, he knocks on the door and says, "I hear that if I pray a Novena I get a Lamborghini...please tell me how!"

The Jesuit replies, "What's a Novena?"
 
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