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(NPR)   Cardinals can't agree when to start conclave, still trying to live down the embarrassment of losing to the Giants in last year's NLCS   (npr.org) divider line 85
    More: Followup, NL Championship Series, Giants, College of Cardinals, Vatican II, embarrassments, pedophile priests, sexual ethics, cronyism  
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2421 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 11:54 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-04 11:55:26 AM
Either a smartass Giants fan or a Cub' fan enjoying the schadenfreude, can't really tell.
 
2013-03-04 11:58:25 AM
They are probably just waiting until all the inter-squad stuff is over with in spring training.  That or until the WBC is over.
 
2013-03-04 11:59:03 AM
Why'd they name them after those birds anyway?
 
2013-03-04 11:59:20 AM
How many World Series victories does your team have, subby? That's what I thought.
 
2013-03-04 11:59:25 AM
Those wacky Cardinals do love the Altar Boys of summer . . .
 
2013-03-04 11:59:25 AM
Can't be a Giants fan... I detect elements of shaming the Cardinals and a subtle implication that somehow they shouldn't have lost to the Giants.
 
2013-03-04 12:00:34 PM
I would assume that it'd begin once their pitcher was in better shape

/Got nothing
 
2013-03-04 12:00:47 PM
I'm surprised they didn't put a temp pope in there in this type of situation. Millions of Catholics have no idea if they are supposed to persecute gays yet.
 
2013-03-04 12:01:50 PM
Should be plenty of Cardinals available for the conclave by now, given how many are too injured to perform their day jobs.

/3rd place this year, at best
 
2013-03-04 12:03:55 PM
So that is where the Cardinals meet?  That's... dissapointing.  It doesn't look much different from an average corporate conference room or university lecture hall.

I was imagining a room deep within the heart of the Vatican, lit only by candles, ancient stone floors, intricate stained glass, and a faraway vaulted ceiling covered in murals and stained with centuries of candle and incense smoke.
 
2013-03-04 12:04:17 PM

Gifted Many Few: I'm surprised they didn't put a temp pope in there in this type of situation. Millions of Catholics have no idea if they are supposed to persecute gays yet.


A pinch hitter?
 
2013-03-04 12:05:18 PM
Meh, the Cardinals were a tired team by that point and they'd already beat out every other NL team but one. Sure, another couple wins would have made it an AWESOME season, but making it to the LCS is still a good season.

As for the Catholics, well, if they can't figure out when to start the conclave I'd expect it may take a while to actually select a new pope.
 
2013-03-04 12:05:29 PM
The Conclave is where the Pitchers and Catchers meat.
 
2013-03-04 12:05:42 PM

TuteTibiImperes: So that is where the Cardinals meet?  That's... dissapointing.  It doesn't look much different from an average corporate conference room or university lecture hall.

I was imagining a room deep within the heart of the Vatican, lit only by candles, ancient stone floors, intricate stained glass, and a faraway vaulted ceiling covered in murals and stained with centuries of candle and incense smoke.


I was kind of hoping for black light posters and skull bongs.
 
2013-03-04 12:06:39 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: TuteTibiImperes: So that is where the Cardinals meet?  That's... dissapointing.  It doesn't look much different from an average corporate conference room or university lecture hall.

I was imagining a room deep within the heart of the Vatican, lit only by candles, ancient stone floors, intricate stained glass, and a faraway vaulted ceiling covered in murals and stained with centuries of candle and incense smoke.

I was kind of hoping for black light posters and skull bongs.


Sure would explain the smoke.
 
2013-03-04 12:09:32 PM
Oh we're talking about those Cardinals.  Okay, so pick a pope from South America or Africa.  Someone young.

And let's get back to talking about the important stuff like MLB regular season starting in 30 days.  Yeeehaaaahhhh
 
2013-03-04 12:09:58 PM
They should know better than to start conclave.  They should always start convlex.
 
2013-03-04 12:11:20 PM

TuteTibiImperes: So that is where the Cardinals meet?  That's... dissapointing.  It doesn't look much different from an average corporate conference room or university lecture hall.

I was imagining a room deep within the heart of the Vatican, lit only by candles, ancient stone floors, intricate stained glass, and a faraway vaulted ceiling covered in murals and stained with centuries of candle and incense smoke.


Well, for the conclave, they meet in the Sistine chapel, and it's decked out more or less exactly like that. But for this? They're old, they need their padded seats and beige.
 
2013-03-04 12:12:08 PM
When my parish votes this Satuday, I'm selecting Joe Biden.
 
2013-03-04 12:13:07 PM

SirEattonHogg: Oh we're talking about those Cardinals.  Okay, so pick a pope from South America or Africa.  Someone young.

And let's get back to talking about the important stuff like MLB regular season starting in 30 days.  Yeeehaaaahhhh


I'd bet against South America or Africa, actually. The church is doing fine there, they're probably going to pick somebody from North America or Europe who they think can stop the bleeding in those areas.
 
2013-03-04 12:14:57 PM
They need a decent puppet pope. Someone with the likability of Johnny P and the iron fist of Sixtus Number Four.
 
2013-03-04 12:16:32 PM

Shrugging Atlas: /3rd place this year, at best


The Reds then who?  The Cubs, Pirates, and Brewers at this point don't really seem that much stronger.

I do think the Reds will take the NL Central this year though.
 
2013-03-04 12:17:16 PM
Can you imagine the amount of ego in that room?

I'm surprised they make hats that big.
 
2013-03-04 12:17:24 PM
Forget last year's NCLS, they lost to the Nationals just yesterday.
 
2013-03-04 12:17:39 PM

cptjeff: SirEattonHogg: Oh we're talking about those Cardinals.  Okay, so pick a pope from South America or Africa.  Someone young.

And let's get back to talking about the important stuff like MLB regular season starting in 30 days.  Yeeehaaaahhhh

I'd bet against South America or Africa, actually. The church is doing fine there, they're probably going to pick somebody from North America or Europe who they think can stop the bleeding in those areas.


Personally, I'm hoping for a black pope, because that would be awesome.
 
2013-03-04 12:18:13 PM

cptjeff: TuteTibiImperes: So that is where the Cardinals meet?  That's... dissapointing.  It doesn't look much different from an average corporate conference room or university lecture hall.

I was imagining a room deep within the heart of the Vatican, lit only by candles, ancient stone floors, intricate stained glass, and a faraway vaulted ceiling covered in murals and stained with centuries of candle and incense smoke.

Well, for the conclave, they meet in the Sistine chapel, and it's decked out more or less exactly like that. But for this? They're old, they need their padded seats and beige.


Ah, gotcha, should've done a GIS first, my faith is restored.

/Raised Protestant, but always admired and envied the pageantry and ritual of Catholicism a little bit..
 
2013-03-04 12:19:00 PM

TuteTibiImperes: was imagining a room deep within the heart of the Vatican, lit only by candles, ancient stone floors, intricate stained glass, and a faraway vaulted ceiling covered in murals and stained with centuries of candle and incense smoke.


That sounds like Charlie Sheens bedroom
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 12:24:29 PM
Can't be a Cubs fan. They've completely forgotten that baseball can be played in October.
 
2013-03-04 12:26:17 PM
College of Cardinals think they are all that...like they could play in the SEC.  Alabama would decimate them, they are small on the O line and have no pass rush.
 
2013-03-04 12:30:38 PM
Pope La Russa has a nice ring to it.
 
2013-03-04 12:31:45 PM

TuteTibiImperes: So that is where the Cardinals meet?  That's... dissapointing.  It doesn't look much different from an average corporate conference room or university lecture hall.

I was imagining a room deep within the heart of the Vatican, lit only by candles, ancient stone floors, intricate stained glass, and a faraway vaulted ceiling covered in murals and stained with centuries of candle and incense smoke.


Exactly.  You belong to an archaic, secretive group of old white men with tens of billions of dollars in assets, heavily vested in centuries-old art and architecture.  You literally employ a team to adjudicate how many "miracles" a person performed.  You wear ridiculously ornate robes and hats, and carry scepters that World of Warcraft dorks would call "a little much".  You insist on a language with a practical utility slightly above "Klingon".  You occasionally release dubiously "infallible" proclamations.

At least do something cool with it.  Throw a giant rotating crystal or something in there.  Rent a smoke machine.  Bring back the flagellating monks and have a few dozen doing their thing in the background.  Toss in some secret doors and crap.  Embrace your past and have some altar boys in gimp suits.  Anything besides the Powerpoint-and-stale-donuts gig in that picture.
 
2013-03-04 12:34:01 PM

JohnCarter: College of Cardinals think they are all that...like they could play in the SEC.  Alabama would decimate them, they are small on the O line and have no pass rush.


This is why everybody makes fun of how ridiculously arrogant SEC fans are. Even the worst NFL team could wipe Alabama off the map.
 
2013-03-04 12:34:09 PM
They're just worried there haven't been enough "dancing boys" imported for them. It takes a lot longer than it used to.

/The last time a pope 'resigned' you could pick them up on the corner.
 
2013-03-04 12:35:17 PM
I'm guessing they are doing the background work of figuring out who is too dirty with kid/gay charges to move forwards.  I'm guessing it will break down into three factions, the Filth, the anti-Filth and the sycophants who just want the power.  Each side can't ask directly which team they are on, so teasing it out takes time.  Once the lines are clearly drawn, then they will go into the vote.  There is a batch of old cardinals that fall out of the Conclave at the end of the month if I remember right, so I'm guessing once a couple of them drop out, it will give one faction a plurality and the sycophants will join in to make a majority.  But will the plurality be of filth or anti-filth we'll have to see.  If I had to bet, I would bet that historically they would have conclaved right away and had a long session, while this being the internet age, they want it to be a short conclave so they are doing the hard work now.  If I'm right expect a short conclave of two days, three tops.  If they don't have the factions settled out, expect a LOT of black smoke.
 
2013-03-04 12:36:07 PM
I'd check the Vienna Boys' Choir touring schedule and go from there
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 12:37:12 PM

cptjeff: This is why everybody makes fun of how ridiculously arrogant SEC fans are. Even the worst NFL team could wipe Alabama off the map.


You've clearly never seen the Chiefs play.

Lucky bastard.
 
2013-03-04 12:40:13 PM
cptjeff
SirEattonHogg: Oh we're talking about those Cardinals.  Okay, so pick a pope from South America or Africa.  Someone young.

And let's get back to talking about the important stuff like MLB regular season starting in 30 days.  Yeeehaaaahhhh



I'd bet against South America or Africa, actually. The church is doing fine there, they're probably going to pick somebody from North America or Europe who they think can stop the bleeding in those areas.

The problem with a European pope (especially another Italian one) is its a sign that the church can't relate with the fact that its growth membership is in S. America and Africa.  They've had Italian popes for milenium.  A European pope seems largely no different.

An American pope is interesting, but the problem there is American catholics are regarded as too liberal.  A lot of US catholics are fairly indifferent about birth control, gay rights or even abortion.  Yes, there are conservative right Catholic political groups, but had the Catholic lay persons actually listened to the priests and the political groups which way to vote, a lot of the most recent political elections in the US may have gone a different way.

The bad thing about an African pope is the brand of Christianity in Africa is pretty old school conservative stuff.  I don't know if its just the evangelicals protestants. So, yeah, its someone different wearing the pope's hat, but someone not willing to bend on some social issues.
 
2013-03-04 12:40:39 PM

Famous Thamas: Personally, I'm hoping for a black pope, because that would be awesome.


There have been several popes born in North Africa, Syria, Palestine, etc. so it might not be as much of a historical first as people seem to think.

But, yeah.  Given the fraction of the world's Catholics that live in South America and Africa, it's getting to be the elephant in the room when the Vatican keeps selecting white EuroPopes.  Then again, they thought it was a big deal when they selected John Paul II, because he was non-Italian.  Ooooh.  Edgy.
 
2013-03-04 12:44:04 PM

Gifted Many Few: They need a decent puppet pope. Someone with the likability of Johnny P and the iron fist of Sixtus Number Four.


Well, according to the pope prophecies (isn't there a prophecy for everything in Catholicism?) this pope's supposed to be the final boss before the end of the world.  Study out "Peter the Roman".
 
2013-03-04 12:44:15 PM

TuteTibiImperes: /Raised Protestant, but always admired and envied the pageantry and ritual of Catholicism a little bit..


It gets tiresome, believe me. One of the many reasons Mrs. Pilates and I now call ourselves recovering Catholics (and got married outside, by a Unitarian minister - which was a bit scandalous in our family until they realized the open bar was 50 feet away from the ceremony site) is because that pageantry and ritual take precedence over everything else. Weddings, baptisms, funerals, by god, you need to get the full choreographed mass in and THEN maybe we can talk about whoever was just born/joined/died.
 
2013-03-04 12:46:40 PM

SirEattonHogg: cptjeff
SirEattonHogg: Oh we're talking about those Cardinals.  Okay, so pick a pope from South America or Africa.  Someone young.

And let's get back to talking about the important stuff like MLB regular season starting in 30 days.  Yeeehaaaahhhh


I'd bet against South America or Africa, actually. The church is doing fine there, they're probably going to pick somebody from North America or Europe who they think can stop the bleeding in those areas.

The problem with a European pope (especially another Italian one) is its a sign that the church can't relate with the fact that its growth membership is in S. America and Africa.  They've had Italian popes for milenium.  A European pope seems largely no different.

An American pope is interesting, but the problem there is American catholics are regarded as too liberal.  A lot of US catholics are fairly indifferent about birth control, gay rights or even abortion.  Yes, there are conservative right Catholic political groups, but had the Catholic lay persons actually listened to the priests and the political groups which way to vote, a lot of the most recent political elections in the US may have gone a different way.

The bad thing about an African pope is the brand of Christianity in Africa is pretty old school conservative stuff.  I don't know if its just the evangelicals protestants. So, yeah, its someone different wearing the pope's hat, but someone not willing to bend on some social issues.


There's a Canadian who's rumoured to be a top candidate for the job.
 
2013-03-04 12:48:48 PM
chimp_ninja  But, yeah.  Given the fraction of the world's Catholics that live in South America and Africa, it's getting to be the elephant in the room when the Vatican keeps selecting white EuroPopes.  Then again, they thought it was a big deal when they selected John Paul II, because he was non-Italian.  Ooooh.  Edgy.

Agreed.  It's kind of time they stop with the white "europope" thing. It's out of respect for the fact that its where the membership is and you have someone more interested in the issues of the church in those areas. But yeah, the Church moves real slow.  Centuries in fact.

Based on their past practices, I'm confident they will actually resolve the whole sex-pedophilia priest scandal.... in 2213.

At that time, they'll put up a statue to commemorate the victims and issue an apology in Latin.
 
2013-03-04 12:54:10 PM
Funny, but I read "Cardinals" as "Criminals".

/need coffee
 
2013-03-04 12:54:11 PM
cptjeff There's a Canadian who's rumoured to be a top candidate for the job.


Yeah, I heard that.  Actually by "American" I mean "USA".  Apologies to the Canadians on this thread.

American Catholics are sometimes called "Cafeteria Catholics".  They pick and choose what they want.
 
2013-03-04 12:58:02 PM
It's called a combine, dumbass, not a "conclave".  That's not even a real word.  Francis George (University of Ottawa) can bench 325 20 times and run a 40 in 4.46.  He's the real deal.
 
2013-03-04 12:59:48 PM
Nate Silver is on the case.  What Betting Markets are Saying About the Next Pope.

cptjeff: There's a Canadian who's rumoured to be a top candidate for the job.


Odds are at 12% on him, so you could make a pretty penny if you think you're right.

Ghana pope at 22%, Argentina pope at 7%.  Rounding out the field is a couple of other South Americans, 2 US longshots, a Mexican pope, a 55-year-old guy from the Philippines, Nigeria, and a bunch of indistinguishable Italian octogenerians.

Hopefully, the Vatican agrees to announce runner-up popes, because this would be more exciting if a superfecta was in play.
 
2013-03-04 01:00:09 PM

treesloth: It's called a combine, dumbass, not a "conclave".  That's not even a real word.  Francis George (University of Ottawa) can bench 325 20 times and run a 40 in 4.46.  He's the real deal.


Yeah, but is he unflappable? Because the Pope is supposed to be unflappable too.
 
2013-03-04 01:00:33 PM
img811.imageshack.us
img18.imageshack.us
img11.imageshack.us
The Giants held the Cardinals to one run in the final 28 innings of the series. In all three of those games, the Cardinals starter didn't survive long enough to throw a pitch in the fifth inning. The Cardinals finished without a hit in 11 at-bats with runners in scoring position. In the final three games of the series, they were one-for-21.
In game 7 Matt Cain hit Holliday with a pitch in retaliation for his "legal" slide into Marco Scutaro in game 2. The Giants went on to win the game 9-0.
"I'm not talking about that," Holliday said when asked.
Scutaro won the NLCS MVP award with a .500 average.
 
2013-03-04 01:06:55 PM

show me: Yeah, but is he unflappable? Because the Pope is supposed to be unflappable too.


Well, yeah, I guess there's the question of being able to recover from errors, too.  Maybe not the best history on that.  And keeping the refs from seeing on-field "ndiscretions"?  Well, no, but he'll have lots of team support for that job.
 
2013-03-04 01:10:01 PM

chimp_ninja: Nate Silver is on the case.  What Betting Markets are Saying About the Next Pope.

cptjeff: There's a Canadian who's rumoured to be a top candidate for the job.

Odds are at 12% on him, so you could make a pretty penny if you think you're right.

Ghana pope at 22%, Argentina pope at 7%.  Rounding out the field is a couple of other South Americans, 2 US longshots, a Mexican pope, a 55-year-old guy from the Philippines, Nigeria, and a bunch of indistinguishable Italian octogenerians.

Hopefully, the Vatican agrees to announce runner-up popes, because this would be more exciting if a superfecta was in play.


Mexico has some pretty hardcore Catholics.  There's a Mexican-American owned construction company around here and the tailgate of every one of their pickups has an airbrushed depiction of Jesus wearing the crown of thorns.  I'm surprised the Mexican cardinal isn't higher up in the ratings.
 
2013-03-04 01:24:21 PM

littlett's: Shrugging Atlas: /3rd place this year, at best

The Reds then who?  The Cubs, Pirates, and Brewers at this point don't really seem that much stronger.

I do think the Reds will take the NL Central this year though.


Brewers in second.  And no, I don't think they're that great either.

But the Cardinals have already lost their starting shortstop (I'd say for the year) and their 1 or 2 pitcher in Carpenter.  They have no second basemen because I think Wong is still a year away.  Garcia is a giant question mark with his health.

So we're looking at at least 2 new pitchers in the rotation with Lohse gone.  Three if Garcia falls to pieces which if history is any indication he will.  The rotation whoever is in it lives and dies by the ground ball, and they have no 'starting' quality shortstop or second baseman.  The offense will be in a good shape but still doesn't have a leadoff hitter.

I'm just not feeling it this year.  I think the team is in worse shape than it was last year, and it barely landed them the second WC spot.

I'm not complaining mind you:  The Card's management is in a strange place right now.  They have all these guys in AAA that are a year or maybe less away from being big league ready, so it's really hard to see them going out and plunking down a ton of cash to fill holes that are going to be filled by cheap but talented rookies.  It's not like they straight up just suck...just not good enough to make a playoff spot unless they get really lucky and the Dusty Baker Effect has more impact than normal on the Reds.
 
2013-03-04 01:26:01 PM
I still say that they should put all the Cardinals in a room and let them fight to the death.  The last one living lights the fire and is declared the new pope.
 
2013-03-04 01:29:48 PM
It's gonna end up between the nerd and the asshat he brings to the end.

/but first....
 
2013-03-04 01:30:27 PM

TuteTibiImperes: chimp_ninja: Nate Silver is on the case.  What Betting Markets are Saying About the Next Pope.

cptjeff: There's a Canadian who's rumoured to be a top candidate for the job.

Odds are at 12% on him, so you could make a pretty penny if you think you're right.

Ghana pope at 22%, Argentina pope at 7%.  Rounding out the field is a couple of other South Americans, 2 US longshots, a Mexican pope, a 55-year-old guy from the Philippines, Nigeria, and a bunch of indistinguishable Italian octogenerians.

Hopefully, the Vatican agrees to announce runner-up popes, because this would be more exciting if a superfecta was in play.

Mexico has some pretty hardcore Catholics.  There's a Mexican-American owned construction company around here and the tailgate of every one of their pickups has an airbrushed depiction of Jesus wearing the crown of thorns.  I'm surprised the Mexican cardinal isn't higher up in the ratings.


Because it's not just about who has the most or hardest core Catholics?

People have been predicting an African pope for a while now, but I have to go with no. The Church won't be looking to reward someone from where the Church is strong, that's not what the position is about. They'll be looking for somebody who can strengthen it where it's weak, and that's the secular environs of Europe and those who are still religious, but increasingly uncomfortable with the conservationism of the church in North America. And the 3rd world guys who might be candidates for the black pope thing are very hard right, and would not have any sort of background that would suit them to rebuilding the church's presence in a secular world. I think they're aware of the imagery of going back to an Italian guy and probably won't do that. They're also aware of the sex abuse scandal, and are going to be looking for somebody scrupulously clean there, and who might be inclined to clean house. If they do select a clean house guy, they might look for older, since everyone in that room is pretty conservative, and the type of pope to clean house might also be the type to be a little unpredictable theologically. John XXIII's liberalism was considered a surprise, after all, and they probably want to limit the damage if that happens.

And of course, personal qualities come into play. The speculation is that it's entirely possible a leader will emerge in these planning meetings, who becomes the next pope or a significant force in the conclave. But how many languages a guy speaks, abilities as a manager (where something like, say, being the head of the US conference of catholic bishops might be useful), especially since Benedict was reportedly weak in that role, and of course, leadership and vision. A lot goes into it.

\Can you tell I've been reading about this some?
 
2013-03-04 01:37:33 PM
Hoyvin conclavin!

colinon.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-04 01:40:15 PM
It's not clear how much the cardinals want to overhaul.

"A lot of things really need a change, and we need a wind of change," says theologian Hans Kung, a former colleague and later antagonist of Benedict XVI. He points to the dwindling number of faithful and priests, the need for a greater women's presence in the church and revised sexual ethics.


I don't think they need to change much - of course, they would dearly love to have anyone that used to be a Carpenter.

But bringing women into the  dugout?  Not so sure about that at all.

Sexual ethics?  Wow, I mean just....wow!

I must have missed that Benedict kid - does he play for Memphis?

I don't know how many priests attend their games, but I don't know about dwindling numbers of faithful - I think they still had great attendance last year.

It's like this guy doesn't really know that much about baseball - but I knew they were cooked last year when I saw black smoke coming out of the clubhouse - popcorn was DEFINITELY burned....
 
2013-03-04 01:47:46 PM
It's all BS so why bother.


At a lavish Good Friday banquet in theVatican in 1514, and in the company

of "seven intimates" (A n n a l e sE c c l e s i a s t i c i, Caesar Baronius, FolioAntwerp, 1597, tome 14), Leo made

an amazing announcement that the Church has since tried hard to invalidate. Raising a chalice of

wine into the air, Pope Leo toasted:

"How well we know what a profitable superstition this fable of Christ has been for us and our

predecessors."
 
2013-03-04 01:51:18 PM

Bill the unknowing: It's not clear how much the cardinals want to overhaul.

"A lot of things really need a change, and we need a wind of change," says theologian Hans Kung, a former colleague and later antagonist of Benedict XVI. He points to the dwindling number of faithful and priests, the need for a greater women's presence in the church and revised sexual ethics.

I don't think they need to change much - of course, they would dearly love to have anyone that used to be a Carpenter.

But bringing women into the  dugout?  Not so sure about that at all.

Sexual ethics?  Wow, I mean just....wow!

I must have missed that Benedict kid - does he play for Memphis?

I don't know how many priests attend their games, but I don't know about dwindling numbers of faithful - I think they still had great attendance last year.

It's like this guy doesn't really know that much about baseball - but I knew they were cooked last year when I saw black smoke coming out of the clubhouse - popcorn was DEFINITELY burned....


Should I have the steak? Will you be here all week?

/kidding, good to see Cardinals Nation going strong, and I hope they surprise Shrugging Atlas.
 
2013-03-04 02:22:02 PM
show me: Should I have the steak? Will you be here all week?

You could go for the steak, as long as it's not a tube steak.  But I'm more into ham.....tip your bartender, the guy with the funny red hat!

I'm hopeful, but I'm thinking it's another  "close but not quite there" year.....aside from a couple folks, they aren't loaded with age, which may help down the stretch.
 
2013-03-04 02:23:38 PM
"Well, it was a secret meeting in the dead of the night With mysterious sanctimony In accordance with prescribed Rituals of time honored ceremony
Matters of grave concern Were weighed with dedicated caution Like whether or not to raise at stud Or draw or spit in the ocean "
 
2013-03-04 02:41:40 PM

jbc: Can't be a Cubs fan. They've completely forgotten that baseball can be played in October.


Typical Cards fan. More obsessed with the Cubs than his own team.
Substitute White Sox for Cards also.
 
2013-03-04 03:04:32 PM
At least the Cardinals went down fighting. My guys performed like the French did in 1940.

/Tigers fan
//Catholic
///parked at the convent
 
2013-03-04 03:17:11 PM

Nightsweat: jbc: Can't be a Cubs fan. They've completely forgotten that baseball can be played in October.

Typical Cards fan. More obsessed with the Cubs than his own team.
Substitute White Sox for Cards also.


It's just that you provide us with so much entertainment with all the haplessness. And it's cool to take a trip up there once a year to catch a Cardinals victory, because we admit there's a lot of cool stuff to do in Chicago. I haven't taken the train yet, but I look forward to that sometime, especially if they get off their asses and put in the high speed corridor.
 
2013-03-04 03:19:07 PM
You HAD to bring that up, subs.

/We liked playing Texas so much in 2011 we became them the following year.
 
2013-03-04 03:23:51 PM

Famous Thamas: cptjeff: SirEattonHogg: Oh we're talking about those Cardinals.  Okay, so pick a pope from South America or Africa.  Someone young.

And let's get back to talking about the important stuff like MLB regular season starting in 30 days.  Yeeehaaaahhhh

I'd bet against South America or Africa, actually. The church is doing fine there, they're probably going to pick somebody from North America or Europe who they think can stop the bleeding in those areas.

Personally, I'm hoping for a black pope, because that would be awesome.


The sort of man that would lead the simple congregation, the people of the faith, the common clay of the year of our lord.

You know.

Morons.
 
2013-03-04 04:05:13 PM
If only there were some authority figure who could intercede, some... "higher power" if you will, who could settle this dispute, some omnicient being that...

/you get where this is going
 
2013-03-04 04:12:12 PM
hardest part of being in the College of Cardinals?  It's not just the freshmen who wear the little beanies, so you don't know who to haze.
 
2013-03-04 04:14:34 PM

LibertyHiller: At least the Cardinals went down fighting. My guys performed like the French did in 1940.

/Tigers fan
//Catholic
///parked at the convent



I hope when I go to the World Series this year, I can see my team get a guy past second base!
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-03-04 04:15:07 PM

Nightsweat: Typical Cards fan. More obsessed with the Cubs than his own team.


Typical Cubs fan. Shiat-for-brains imbecile living in a fantasy world with no grasp on reality.
 
2013-03-04 04:22:53 PM

TuteTibiImperes: So that is where the Cardinals meet?  That's... dissapointing.  It doesn't look much different from an average corporate conference room or university lecture hall.

I was imagining a room deep within the heart of the Vatican, lit only by candles, ancient stone floors, intricate stained glass, and a faraway vaulted ceiling covered in murals and stained with centuries of candle and incense smoke.


The actual conclave, where they vote for the pope, takes place in the Sistine Chapel.
 
2013-03-04 04:23:47 PM

leftyguitar: If only there were some authority figure who could intercede, some... "higher power" if you will, who could settle this dispute, some omnicient being that...

/you get where this is going


Vince McMahon?
 
2013-03-04 04:35:06 PM
And STILL no mention of albino monks!!


/wasn't he a deep-fielder?
 
2013-03-04 04:37:14 PM

sephjnr: leftyguitar: If only there were some authority figure who could intercede, some... "higher power" if you will, who could settle this dispute, some omnicient being that...

/you get where this is going

Vince McMahon?


Haha, works for me. He has more moral credibility than most of these guys.
 
2013-03-04 04:48:10 PM
Is this a Cardinals thread?

Then all I have to say is: Buster Posey healthy and ready to play.  Just like 2010 and 2012.

GO GIANTS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_jopBXcbxk
 
2013-03-04 06:12:08 PM

TigersorHawksorBoth: LibertyHiller: At least the Cardinals went down fighting. My guys performed like the French did in 1940.

/Tigers fan
//Catholic
///parked at the convent


I hope when I go to the World Series this year, I can see my team get a guy past second base!


No shiat; I had better OBP in junior high than the Tiggies did in October.
 
2013-03-04 08:27:52 PM

SwiftFox: Why'd they name them after those birds anyway?


Ravens would have been much better.  Dress them all in black.  They really need a uniform change.
 
2013-03-04 09:09:54 PM

SwiftFox: Why'd they name them after those birds anyway?


Probably the same reason roman gods were named after planets.
 
2013-03-04 10:52:01 PM
I find it absolutely fascinating that everyone in this thread speaking from a position of some knowlege on the subject seems to be making the same error:

You're assuming that the College of Cardinals chooses a pope based on logical evaluation of the cardinals in question and each one's potential to benefit and lead the Church.

But they don't.  "Discernment" is a wonderful little euphemism used by the religious (as in, people in the religious life - priests, monks and nuns) for "justifying doing what I damn well please."  The pope is elected by bribery, politicking, blackmail and promises of future appointments.  Just like any other political game.  The difference is that, unlike political parties, this particular organization has millennia of experience at it.

Old, white, politically connected, European pope.  Book it.  Done.
 
2013-03-05 12:26:55 AM

jbc: Nightsweat: Typical Cards fan. More obsessed with the Cubs than his own team.

Typical Cubs fan. Shiat-for-brains imbecile living in a fantasy world with no grasp on reality.


Well, we have grown to expect that.
 
2013-03-05 01:56:15 AM

cptjeff: SirEattonHogg: Oh we're talking about those Cardinals.  Okay, so pick a pope from South America or Africa.  Someone young.

And let's get back to talking about the important stuff like MLB regular season starting in 30 days.  Yeeehaaaahhhh

I'd bet against South America or Africa, actually. The church is doing fine there, they're probably going to pick somebody from North America or Europe who they think can stop the bleeding in those areas.


No way. There are no southpaws with sure gloves and speed around the bases from North America. And Europeans are out, because you can't kick a baseball. Now, the  other Cardinals do need a kicker and some some corn-fed American beef on the o-line.
 
2013-03-05 01:57:39 AM

uncleacid: Pope La Russa has a nice ring to it.


Those post-Mass press conferences would be amazing!
 
2013-03-05 02:01:26 AM

cptjeff: JohnCarter: College of Cardinals think they are all that...like they could play in the SEC.  Alabama would decimate them, they are small on the O line and have no pass rush.

This is why everybody makes fun of how ridiculously arrogant SEC fans are. Even the worst NFL team could wipe Alabama off the map.


I take it you didn't see the Jaguars last season. That's OK, neither did anybody else.
 
2013-03-05 02:04:28 AM

cptjeff: SirEattonHogg: cptjeff
SirEattonHogg: Oh we're talking about those Cardinals.  Okay, so pick a pope from South America or Africa.  Someone young.

And let's get back to talking about the important stuff like MLB regular season starting in 30 days.  Yeeehaaaahhhh


I'd bet against South America or Africa, actually. The church is doing fine there, they're probably going to pick somebody from North America or Europe who they think can stop the bleeding in those areas.

The problem with a European pope (especially another Italian one) is its a sign that the church can't relate with the fact that its growth membership is in S. America and Africa.  They've had Italian popes for milenium.  A European pope seems largely no different.

An American pope is interesting, but the problem there is American catholics are regarded as too liberal.  A lot of US catholics are fairly indifferent about birth control, gay rights or even abortion.  Yes, there are conservative right Catholic political groups, but had the Catholic lay persons actually listened to the priests and the political groups which way to vote, a lot of the most recent political elections in the US may have gone a different way.

The bad thing about an African pope is the brand of Christianity in Africa is pretty old school conservative stuff.  I don't know if its just the evangelicals protestants. So, yeah, its someone different wearing the pope's hat, but someone not willing to bend on some social issues.

There's a Canadian who's rumoured to be a top candidate for the job.


Ah, good. An Apologist.
 
2013-03-05 02:36:25 AM

show me: jbc: Nightsweat: Typical Cards fan. More obsessed with the Cubs than his own team.

Typical Cubs fan. Shiat-for-brains imbecile living in a fantasy world with no grasp on reality.

Well, we have grown to expect that.


On the contrary, nobody haas a better grasp on reality than a Cubs fan; you wake up hopeful, looking forward to a bright new day, then traffic's a mess, you break a tooth right after a perfect presentation andright before the most important meeting of your life - which you fail- so everybody else on your team gives up on you and themselves, your boss makes stupid decisions that cost you your bonus, your wife leaves you, your dog bites you, you burn dinner and order pizza but it's an hour late in coming and they put anchovies on it anyway, your internet service is down and your lights go out, you'd kill yourself but the knives are all dull, you fall into bed on a mattress that hasn't changed in 100 years. That's the Chicago way.
 
2013-03-05 03:21:03 AM

SwiftFox: Why'd they name them after those birds anyway?


Actually it has nothing to do with the bird and rather the Latin word for heart.
 
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