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(Daily Mail)   At last you can celebrate the REAL meaning of Easter - with Jesus eggs. Jesus   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Stupid, Easter, Waitrose, Hereford, supermarkets  
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9696 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 9:48 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



165 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-03-04 08:15:19 AM  
Still too pagan.

sarcasticxtian.com

There we go.
 
2013-03-04 08:21:22 AM  
Congratulations on your major victory. This is truly important. Really. Truly.
 
2013-03-04 08:21:50 AM  
I love how Christians celebrate their two holiest days.
 
2013-03-04 08:59:06 AM  
Are they dinosaur eggs?
 
2013-03-04 09:19:00 AM  
Easter.

That's the holiday where Jesus comes out of his tomb after 3 days and if he sees his shadow its 6 more
weeks of winter, right?
 
2013-03-04 09:24:54 AM  
www.landoverbaptist.org
 
2013-03-04 09:26:03 AM  
If it doesn't involve a rabbit making chicken noises, I don't want to hear about it!
 
2013-03-04 09:51:43 AM  
I've heard them called Resurrection eggs.  You get a carton of a dozen plastic eggs, and inside each egg is a representation of one of the twelve Stations of the Cross.  It's the exact opposite of an Advent Calendar, which gives you chocolates for each of the days leading up to the birth of Christ.  Resurrection eggs are a lot more solemn, giving you a piece of thorn or a nail or a piece of cloth or unleavened bread or whatever,  leading up to the death (and Resurrection) of Christ.
 
2013-03-04 09:51:58 AM  
"I've been traveling a lot lately. I was over in Australia during Easter. It was interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do; commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Now, I wonder why we're farked up as a race. You know, I've read the Bible. I can't find the words 'bunny' or 'chocolate' anywhere in the farking book. Where do you come up with this shiat? Why those two things? Why not 'Goldfish left Lincoln Logs in your sock drawer'? As long as we're making shiat up, go hog wild. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on its back crawling across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous connotation to it!"
 
2013-03-04 09:52:05 AM  
Reeses peanutbutter eggs. Drool.
 
2013-03-04 09:52:43 AM  
 
2013-03-04 09:52:48 AM  
I had no idea that Jesuses laid eggs.
 
2013-03-04 09:53:00 AM  
Megarian:  "That's the story of Jesus!"
 
2013-03-04 09:53:49 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: Easter.

That's the holiday where Jesus comes out of his tomb after 3 days and if he sees his shadow its 6 more
weeks of winter, right?


Haters gonna hate.
 
2013-03-04 09:55:27 AM  
Christian groups Capitalists looking to separate fools from their money have won a victory in their campaignfor shops to sell a religious Easter egg.

Lets call a duck a duck.
 
2013-03-04 09:57:13 AM  
I may be an atheist but i'm all for people having religious holidays as they like. It seems silly to me that we should insist the religious aspects of Christmas be stripped away. It's their holiday. I don't know wtf eggs have to do with Easter, but it's clear their plan isn't about reconnecting children with Jesus' eggs, it's about reminding people that Easter isn't about eggs, it's about Jesus death and resurrection  If they want to fight back against rampant commercialisation stripping their holy times of all meaning then I support that.

Right up until the day religion is abolished I'll be completely in support of equality amongst religions. Then every day I can have a chocolate egg, no longer will it be bound by the oppressive chains of a religious holiday, but free to roam the shelves in traditionally un-eggy months like May, August, even September! This is a good thing.

Now I have to go and buy some chocolate eggs, because I love them more than muslims love Mohammed.
 
2013-03-04 09:59:21 AM  
This has rekindled my lack of interest.
 
2013-03-04 09:59:49 AM  

Krymson Tyde: I love how Christians celebrate their two holiest days.


Seriously!  You'd think they would work to stop stores from selling cheap, kitschy crap by sticking a Jesus on it.  It seems to me like that cheapens the whole religion.
 
2013-03-04 09:59:53 AM  
Hail, Ostara.
 
2013-03-04 09:59:57 AM  
 
2013-03-04 10:01:23 AM  
So the guy can walk on water and lays chocolate eggs?  And to think all this time I've been flushing my eggs down the toilet
 
2013-03-04 10:02:35 AM  

fruitloop: I had no idea that Jesuses laid eggs.


And they stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on his head and put a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, "Hail, King of the Jews!" And they spit on him and took the reed and struck him on the ovipositor. And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the robe and put his own clothes on him and led him away to crucify him." Matthew 27:28-31
 
2013-03-04 10:03:55 AM  

Sybarite: Still too pagan.

[sarcasticxtian.com image 550x411]

There we go.


Does the chocolate cross repel vampires? Or maybe is it only effective on Blackulas?
 
2013-03-04 10:06:28 AM  
Jesus looks awfully cheerful for a guy who just spent several days getting arrested, nearly beaten to death, crucified, stabbed just to make sure he was dead, and then laid out on a stone slab over the weekend, eh?

Adopting Roman traditions into Christian celebrations made it much easier to convert people, thus the spring fertility (symbolized by eggs) and winter solstice festivals became Easter and Christmas.  That's right, they've *always* been all about marketing, sorry folks.
 
2013-03-04 10:06:35 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Sybarite: Still too pagan.

[sarcasticxtian.com image 550x411]

There we go.

Does the chocolate cross repel vampires? Or maybe is it only effective on Blackulas?


images.starpulse.com

"Oh no you did NOT just go there!"
 
2013-03-04 10:08:50 AM  

Wyckyd Sceptre: www.landoverbaptist.org


I think I'm going to come up with a spicy meatball dish, really really spicy with a sirachi based sauce and call them Satan's Testicles.

fruitloop: I had no idea that Jesuses laid eggs.


They make a wickedly good omelet.
 
2013-03-04 10:08:53 AM  

texdent: The true meaning of Easter


Oh, I would SO fertilize that...
 
2013-03-04 10:09:49 AM  

Wyckyd Sceptre: [www.landoverbaptist.org image 280x331]


Thanks for the good laugh.
That's hilarious!

/glad I'm alone at work, my boss is a Jesus freak.
 
2013-03-04 10:10:35 AM  
Not as lame as Jesusween.
 
2013-03-04 10:10:44 AM  
And in response, I'm going to make a wooden cross with an Easter Bunny nailed to it
 
2013-03-04 10:12:50 AM  
On the other hand google image search for "Jesus Eggs" provides gems like this:

i42.tinypic.com
 
2013-03-04 10:13:10 AM  
I was born the day they shot a hole in the Jesus Egg.

images.bluebeat.com

/Five Stop Mother Superior Rain
 
2013-03-04 10:13:56 AM  

beerrun: Wyckyd Sceptre: [www.landoverbaptist.org image 280x331]

Thanks for the good laugh.
That's hilarious!

/glad I'm alone at work, my boss is a Jesus freak.


Darn it, I'll have to wait till I get home to see what that is.  Landover Baptist is blocked at my workplace.
 
2013-03-04 10:15:05 AM  
HE HAS RISEN!
s15.postimage.org
 
2013-03-04 10:16:13 AM  
I like how the Christians get all uppity when people continue to recognize the traditions of the original pagan holidays the the Catholic Church piggy-backed on to.
 
2013-03-04 10:17:14 AM  
Could be worse.
Could be those choking hazards of middle-eastern cookies the Jews and Arabs make.
Little stones, dryer than scones covered in powdered sugar.
 
2013-03-04 10:18:03 AM  

hdhale: Jesus looks awfully cheerful for a guy who just spent several days getting arrested, nearly beaten to death, crucified, stabbed just to make sure he was dead, and then laid out on a stone slab over the weekend, eh?

Adopting Roman traditions into Christian celebrations made it much easier to convert people, thus the spring fertility (symbolized by eggs) and winter solstice festivals became Easter and Christmas.  That's right, they've *always* been all about marketing, sorry folks.


BuddyChrist.jpeg.
 
2013-03-04 10:20:05 AM  
I think if Jesus were alive today, he would appreciate how tasty we have made his death.
 
2013-03-04 10:20:29 AM  
Have a sexy Easter!

i.imgur.com

And one for the ladies.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-04 10:22:46 AM  

Have a Kate Upton Easter!



i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com

 
2013-03-04 10:22:50 AM  

Slaxl: I don't know wtf eggs have to do with Easter,


Silly, Jesus hides eggs, and you have to say "trick or treat" to get them, or else you'll get coal in your stocking.
 
2013-03-04 10:25:09 AM  

Slaxl: I may be an atheist but i'm all for people having religious holidays as they like. It seems silly to me that we should insist the religious aspects of Christmas be stripped away. It's their holiday. I don't know wtf eggs have to do with Easter, but it's clear their plan isn't about reconnecting children with Jesus' eggs, it's about reminding people that Easter isn't about eggs, it's about Jesus death and resurrection  If they want to fight back against rampant commercialisation stripping their holy times of all meaning then I support that.

Right up until the day religion is abolished I'll be completely in support of equality amongst religions. Then every day I can have a chocolate egg, no longer will it be bound by the oppressive chains of a religious holiday, but free to roam the shelves in traditionally un-eggy months like May, August, even September! This is a good thing.

Now I have to go and buy some chocolate eggs, because I love them more than muslims love Mohammed.


I buy extra and freeze them. Just like with Girl Scout cookies. Because f*ck going without a Samoa in November.
 
2013-03-04 10:26:14 AM  
Now if only Jesus was real, the real meaning might mean something...
 
2013-03-04 10:26:43 AM  

maddogdelta: Slaxl: I don't know wtf eggs have to do with Easter,

Silly, Jesus hides eggs, and you have to say "trick or treat" to get them, or else you'll get coal in your stocking.


There needs to be an Easter version of Krampus.
 
2013-03-04 10:29:38 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: There needs to be an Easter version of Krampus.


i30.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-04 10:30:21 AM  
I don't have any Jesus eggs, I do have "Oh Christ STOP' Get it out of me for f*x sakes, oh my god its too f*cking late" sperm though.
 
2013-03-04 10:34:43 AM  
The truth is that Jesus LOVED chocolate. He actually was the first to coin the phrase 'chocoholic' in Aramaic. If they hadn't nailed him through that foot, he probably would have lost it to diabeetus anyway.
 
2013-03-04 10:35:29 AM  
We get it, you hate christians.

How edgy.
 
2013-03-04 10:36:14 AM  
Did Robot Chicken make that commercial?
 
2013-03-04 10:37:15 AM  
Old line from one of my uni's many rugby songs:
He's got holes in his hands, holes in his legs, how's he going to hold his easter eggs?
 
2013-03-04 10:38:35 AM  
now that makes no sense

i guess Jesus now takes the pace of Ēostre's  rabbit lover?
 
2013-03-04 10:38:46 AM  
Easter is a celebration of the first zombie!!
 
2013-03-04 10:41:17 AM  
We all know that the bunny rolled the rock out of the way of his tomb.  So, he made breakfast for the little guy.
 
2013-03-04 10:42:05 AM  
what came first, the jesus or the egg
 
2013-03-04 10:42:36 AM  
wow do people biatch and moan. there are a lot of really special Holy Days the Church has already ceased. how quickly they forget!

Wycliffe the Heretic Book Burning Day
Dead Languages: Great Unwashed Uneducated Can't Read Teh Bible Week
Get Out Of Jail Free: Indulgences = Donations Sunday, Sunday, Sunday
Knights Templar Killed, We Take Your Stuff January Bring-A-Cake Celebration
Galileo House Arrest Pot Luck Dinner
Joan of Arc July Bar-B-Q
Jan Hus Burnt Stake Dinner
William Tyndale Burnt Stake Bible Summer Camp
Inquisition Convert or Die Church Membership Drive
Medieval Witch Hunts Fun Times Remembrance Mass
 
2013-03-04 10:43:15 AM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: what came first, the jesus or the egg


 jesus , what with being their prior to the creation of earf
 
2013-03-04 10:45:27 AM  

lovefirststool: The truth is that Jesus LOVED chocolate. He actually was the first to coin the phrase 'chocoholic' in Aramaic. If they hadn't nailed him through that foot, he probably would have lost it to diabeetus anyway.


Which he made of course using the cocoa beans he got from the secret trade route run by the lost tribes of Israel from the region of the Mayans to ancient Egypt, of course.
 
2013-03-04 10:45:48 AM  

megarian: Now, I wonder why we're farked up as a race. You know, I've read the Bible. I can't find the words 'bunny' or 'chocolate' anywhere in the farking book. Where do you come up with this shiat?


Slaxl: I don't know wtf eggs have to do with Easter


It's because Easter -- like every other Christian holiday -- came from the Roman Empire and in order to placate the existing Roman religion they found it far easier to just co-opt all the festivals on the Calendar rather than force the populace to forego tradition in favor of new ones.

It's unlikely that Jesus was born on December 25 or executed in the spring. No one knows the exact dates of whatever in his life occurred when. Christmas co-opted the Festival of Saturnalia (which involved gift-giving and merrymaking) and Easter supplanted spring festivals of rebirth and rejuvenation (hence eggs and rabbits, two ubiquitous symbols of birth and fertility).
 
2013-03-04 10:54:07 AM  
Well whoop de farking do, type a tube article about it and post it to fark.
Is this just advertising now, or?
Seriously why am I even seeing this shiat on my news congolomerate. Is it supposed to be funny? Cos I don't get it.
 
2013-03-04 10:54:33 AM  
 Kinder Eggs > easter eggs.
 
2013-03-04 10:55:18 AM  
oi48.tinypic.com
 
2013-03-04 10:55:20 AM  
 
2013-03-04 10:56:13 AM  

Krymson Tyde: I love how Christians celebrate their two holiest days.


 By stealing pagan holidays and pigging out?
 
2013-03-04 10:56:16 AM  

vudukungfu: Kinder Eggs > easter eggs.


i.onfinite.com
 
2013-03-04 10:59:44 AM  
Easter's nice, but I prefer Kung Fu Jesus, for my Jesusing needs.
 
2013-03-04 11:00:04 AM  

texdent: The true meaning of Easter


While the penis-encumbered me loved that video of Kate Upton, the borderline-OCD dad me nearly had a panic attack watching her roll around in all that Easter "grass." Gah. I hate that stuff. I find it scattered throughout the house well past Saint Swithins day.
 
2013-03-04 11:00:12 AM  

AbbeySomeone: http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=david%20sedaris%20easter&sourc e =web&cd=1&ved=0CDEQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv %3DN5apZmwR9UI&ei=d8M0UYPvFqzTigLR0YDADg&usg=AFQjCNGxB84RxULf2VtdLnpFe hv6vcEJWw&bvm=bv.43148975,d.cGE&cad=rja


Not sure wth happened, I intended to post a link to David Sedaris 'Jesus Shaves'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5apZmwR9UI

/just waking up.
 
2013-03-04 11:00:28 AM  

Molavian: We get it, you hate christians.

How edgy.



It's not hate. It's mockery and contempt.
 
2013-03-04 11:00:51 AM  

Slaxl: I may be an atheist but i'm all for people having religious holidays as they like. It seems silly to me that we should insist the religious aspects of Christmas be stripped away. It's their holiday. I don't know wtf eggs have to do with Easter, but it's clear their plan isn't about reconnecting children with Jesus' eggs, it's about reminding people that Easter isn't about eggs, it's about Jesus death and resurrection  If they want to fight back against rampant commercialisation stripping their holy times of all meaning then I support that.

Right up until the day religion is abolished I'll be completely in support of equality amongst religions. Then every day I can have a chocolate egg, no longer will it be bound by the oppressive chains of a religious holiday, but free to roam the shelves in traditionally un-eggy months like May, August, even September! This is a good thing.

Now I have to go and buy some chocolate eggs, because I love them more than muslims love Mohammed.


Yeah, it is not that we give a shiat what Christians do with their time, it is we give a shiat that they get special privileges to use government resources, i.e. land, money, and time, to push their religious message into public spaces, public schools, and public buildings. Mostly the "War On Christmas" is about Christians whining about their special privileges being stripped away or having to share those spaces and privileges with others.
 
2013-03-04 11:03:22 AM  

fruitloop: I had no idea that Jesuses laid eggs.


I could be wrong, but I believe the plural of Jesus is Jesusi. Like cacti or hippopotami.

"This years Gathering of the Jesusi really started rocking once Moses and the Flaming Bushes took the stage!"
 
2013-03-04 11:03:25 AM  

Slaves2Darkness: Slaxl: I may be an atheist but i'm all for people having religious holidays as they like. It seems silly to me that we should insist the religious aspects of Christmas be stripped away. It's their holiday. I don't know wtf eggs have to do with Easter, but it's clear their plan isn't about reconnecting children with Jesus' eggs, it's about reminding people that Easter isn't about eggs, it's about Jesus death and resurrection  If they want to fight back against rampant commercialisation stripping their holy times of all meaning then I support that.

Right up until the day religion is abolished I'll be completely in support of equality amongst religions. Then every day I can have a chocolate egg, no longer will it be bound by the oppressive chains of a religious holiday, but free to roam the shelves in traditionally un-eggy months like May, August, even September! This is a good thing.

Now I have to go and buy some chocolate eggs, because I love them more than muslims love Mohammed.

Yeah, it is not that we give a shiat what Christians do with their time, it is we give a shiat that they get special privileges to use government resources, i.e. land, money, and time, to push their religious message into public spaces, public schools, and public buildings. Mostly the "War On Christmas" is about Christians whining about their special privileges being stripped away or having to share those spaces and privileges with others.


I'm pro-holiday, for any reason, most of the time.
 
2013-03-04 11:04:48 AM  

KrispyKritter: Wycliffe the Heretic Book Burning Day



Don't forget "Wycliffe 2: Bone Crushing Boogaloo!"
 
2013-03-04 11:05:36 AM  

Molavian: We get it, you hate christians.

How edgy.


Aw, are you feeling put-upon by people mocking your brand of made-up nonsense?  Maybe Mommy will give you hugs and make it all better...
 
2013-03-04 11:06:59 AM  
Did anyone else skip the article and go straight for the Kate Upton body paint video?  No?  Alright then.
 
2013-03-04 11:08:41 AM  

Molavian: We get it, you hate christians.

How edgy.


Nope, just think they're a little silly
 
2013-03-04 11:10:57 AM  
Jesus was a good egg.
 
2013-03-04 11:12:32 AM  
Can we get an egg that tells the story of Oester? Talks about pagan fertility gods, and stuff that is actually responsible for the holiday? What, christians don't have enough actual holidays, they have to steal pagan ones, too? I wonder how long it's going to be before there's some christian justification for celebrating halloween and it becomes thought of as a christian holiday, too.
 
2013-03-04 11:14:51 AM  
is it made by cadbury? those are either the most awesome candy eggs...or the most disgusting. depending on your opinion of the bacteria that makes it gooey.
 
2013-03-04 11:15:25 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-04 11:15:46 AM  

fruitloop: I had no idea that Jesuses laid eggs.


Came for this. Satisfied.
 
2013-03-04 11:16:41 AM  

Inflatable Rhetoric: Slaves2Darkness: Slaxl: I may be an atheist but i'm all for people having religious holidays as they like. It seems silly to me that we should insist the religious aspects of Christmas be stripped away. It's their holiday. I don't know wtf eggs have to do with Easter, but it's clear their plan isn't about reconnecting children with Jesus' eggs, it's about reminding people that Easter isn't about eggs, it's about Jesus death and resurrection  If they want to fight back against rampant commercialisation stripping their holy times of all meaning then I support that.

Right up until the day religion is abolished I'll be completely in support of equality amongst religions. Then every day I can have a chocolate egg, no longer will it be bound by the oppressive chains of a religious holiday, but free to roam the shelves in traditionally un-eggy months like May, August, even September! This is a good thing.

Now I have to go and buy some chocolate eggs, because I love them more than muslims love Mohammed.

Yeah, it is not that we give a shiat what Christians do with their time, it is we give a shiat that they get special privileges to use government resources, i.e. land, money, and time, to push their religious message into public spaces, public schools, and public buildings. Mostly the "War On Christmas" is about Christians whining about their special privileges being stripped away or having to share those spaces and privileges with others.

I'm pro-holiday, for any reason, most of the time.


Me too.  Easter doesn't do much for me though, since I'm not a huge candy guy and our family dinners weren't nearly as awesome as Thanksgiving and Christmas.  However, if they really want me to get serious about Easter then I'm gonna need a day off for it.  How about the Monday after Easter is always a federal holiday, but we'll call it "Spring Traditions Day" so if you want to be Pagan, or celebrate some other way knock yourself out.

We definitely need a holiday (with a day off) between Presidents Day and Memorial Day.  We also need one in August.  We can call it "Holy shiat Balls It's farking Hot Today" and I nominate the second Monday in August.
 
2013-03-04 11:16:53 AM  

LovingTeacher: Molavian: We get it, you hate christians.

How edgy.

Nope, just think they're a little silly


Especially when the start off deliberately hijacking other religions/cultures holidays, and then spend the rest of time complaining how their holidays and the "pagan" ones got mixed up. Maybe you should take that up with the people that found it convenient to do so when they started spreading your religion and not whine about it to the rest of us?
 
2013-03-04 11:20:23 AM  

untaken_name: Can we get an egg that tells the story of Oester? Talks about pagan fertility gods, and stuff that is actually responsible for the holiday? What, christians don't have enough actual holidays, they have to steal pagan ones, too? I wonder how long it's going to be before there's some christian justification for celebrating halloween and it becomes thought of as a christian holiday, too.


"Hallowe'en" is a contraction of "All Hallows Even," the night before All Hallows/Saints Day, rather a big deal to some denominations. So yeah, sorry, but they've sunk a hook into that one as well.
 
2013-03-04 11:20:27 AM  
"Major supermarkets to stock product with Jesus on the packaging for the first time"

To be fair, the writer is a Brit who has probably never seen a supermarket in a Hispanic neighborhood.
 
2013-03-04 11:21:27 AM  

Lord Thorn: untaken_name: Can we get an egg that tells the story of Oester? Talks about pagan fertility gods, and stuff that is actually responsible for the holiday? What, christians don't have enough actual holidays, they have to steal pagan ones, too? I wonder how long it's going to be before there's some christian justification for celebrating halloween and it becomes thought of as a christian holiday, too.

"Hallowe'en" is a contraction of "All Hallows Even," the night before All Hallows/Saints Day, rather a big deal to some denominations. So yeah, sorry, but they've sunk a hook into that one as well.


god dammit
 
2013-03-04 11:21:37 AM  
Someone needs to make a crucifix chocolate candy that's cherry filled.

Just to create the ultimate level of wrongness.
 
2013-03-04 11:26:30 AM  
FloydA:
Seriously!  You'd think they would work to stop stores from selling cheap, kitschy crap by sticking a Jesus on it.  It seems to me like that cheapens the whole religion.
img404.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-04 11:26:57 AM  

megarian: "I've been traveling a lot lately. I was over in Australia during Easter. It was interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do; commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Now, I wonder why we're farked up as a race. You know, I've read the Bible. I can't find the words 'bunny' or 'chocolate' anywhere in the farking book. Where do you come up with this shiat? Why those two things? Why not 'Goldfish left Lincoln Logs in your sock drawer'? As long as we're making shiat up, go hog wild. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on its back crawling across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous connotation to it!"


It's called "Ripping off a pagan religion".
 
2013-03-04 11:27:01 AM  

Ishkur: megarian: Now, I wonder why we're farked up as a race. You know, I've read the Bible. I can't find the words 'bunny' or 'chocolate' anywhere in the farking book. Where do you come up with this shiat?

Slaxl: I don't know wtf eggs have to do with Easter

It's because Easter -- like every other Christian holiday -- came from the Roman Empire and in order to placate the existing Roman religion they found it far easier to just co-opt all the festivals on the Calendar rather than force the populace to forego tradition in favor of new ones.

It's unlikely that Jesus was born on December 25 or executed in the spring. No one knows the exact dates of whatever in his life occurred when. Christmas co-opted the Festival of Saturnalia (which involved gift-giving and merrymaking) and Easter supplanted spring festivals of rebirth and rejuvenation (hence eggs and rabbits, two ubiquitous symbols of birth and fertility).


(I understand. I was just quoting the late Bill Hicks. And that's the story of Jesus.)
 
2013-03-04 11:27:25 AM  

Carn: Inflatable Rhetoric: Slaves2Darkness: Slaxl: I may be an atheist but i'm all for people having religious holidays as they like. It seems silly to me that we should insist the religious aspects of Christmas be stripped away. It's their holiday. I don't know wtf eggs have to do with Easter, but it's clear their plan isn't about reconnecting children with Jesus' eggs, it's about reminding people that Easter isn't about eggs, it's about Jesus death and resurrection  If they want to fight back against rampant commercialisation stripping their holy times of all meaning then I support that.

Right up until the day religion is abolished I'll be completely in support of equality amongst religions. Then every day I can have a chocolate egg, no longer will it be bound by the oppressive chains of a religious holiday, but free to roam the shelves in traditionally un-eggy months like May, August, even September! This is a good thing.

Now I have to go and buy some chocolate eggs, because I love them more than muslims love Mohammed.

Yeah, it is not that we give a shiat what Christians do with their time, it is we give a shiat that they get special privileges to use government resources, i.e. land, money, and time, to push their religious message into public spaces, public schools, and public buildings. Mostly the "War On Christmas" is about Christians whining about their special privileges being stripped away or having to share those spaces and privileges with others.

I'm pro-holiday, for any reason, most of the time.

Me too.  Easter doesn't do much for me though, since I'm not a huge candy guy and our family dinners weren't nearly as awesome as Thanksgiving and Christmas.  However, if they really want me to get serious about Easter then I'm gonna need a day off for it.  How about the Monday after Easter is always a federal holiday, but we'll call it "Spring Traditions Day" so if you want to be Pagan, or celebrate some other way knock yourself out.

We definitely need a holiday ...


Easter is Sunday, but Good Friday makes it a 3-day weekend.
I agree, it's a long time between New Years Day and Easter.
 
2013-03-04 11:27:53 AM  

Felgraf: Someone needs to make a crucifix chocolate candy that's cherry filled.

Just to create the ultimate level of wrongness.


Someone needs to make a plastic Jesus with rabbit ears, and when you pull his arm down, he poops jelly beans.
 
2013-03-04 11:29:02 AM  

AbbeySomeone: AbbeySomeone: http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=david%20sedaris%20easter&sourc e =web&cd=1&ved=0CDEQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv %3DN5apZmwR9UI&ei=d8M0UYPvFqzTigLR0YDADg&usg=AFQjCNGxB84RxULf2VtdLnpFe hv6vcEJWw&bvm=bv.43148975,d.cGE&cad=rja

Not sure wth happened, I intended to post a link to David Sedaris 'Jesus Shaves'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5apZmwR9UI

/just waking up.


Shocked this wasn't posted sooner.  First thing I thought of.

/loves David Sedaris
//NO!  not in that way...NTTAWWT (yes I do know that he is gay)
///have all his books (re-reading Holidays on Ice currently)
 
2013-03-04 11:29:07 AM  
I like how what makes this "real" is nothing more than a comic being included. Seriously  they mention the religious part, and that makes it "real", although it's just a chocolate egg otherwise. Big farking deal, get down off of your soapbox. Jesus, you really can piss on religious wackos' heads and convince them it's raining.
 
2013-03-04 11:29:39 AM  

Mikey1969: megarian: "I've been traveling a lot lately. I was over in Australia during Easter. It was interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do; commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Now, I wonder why we're farked up as a race. You know, I've read the Bible. I can't find the words 'bunny' or 'chocolate' anywhere in the farking book. Where do you come up with this shiat? Why those two things? Why not 'Goldfish left Lincoln Logs in your sock drawer'? As long as we're making shiat up, go hog wild. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on its back crawling across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous connotation to it!"

It's called "Ripping off a pagan religion".


Cool. I'll let him know...
 
2013-03-04 11:30:47 AM  
so, can I hatch my own Jesus?


/my lawn's looking a little rough
 
2013-03-04 11:31:57 AM  

Slaxl: I may be an atheist but i'm all for people having religious holidays as they like. It seems silly to me that we should insist the religious aspects of Christmas be stripped away. It's their holiday. I don't know wtf eggs have to do with Easter, but it's clear their plan isn't about reconnecting children with Jesus' eggs, it's about reminding people that Easter isn't about eggs, it's about Jesus death and resurrection  If they want to fight back against rampant commercialisation stripping their holy times of all meaning then I support that.

Right up until the day religion is abolished I'll be completely in support of equality amongst religions. Then every day I can have a chocolate egg, no longer will it be bound by the oppressive chains of a religious holiday, but free to roam the shelves in traditionally un-eggy months like May, August, even September! This is a good thing.

Now I have to go and buy some chocolate eggs, because I love them more than muslims love Mohammed.


It's a Spring fertility holiday ripped off and Christianized... If you look at it that way, it makes perfect sense to use eggs. They are a good metaphor for new life, and Spring is all about rebirth. Nothing to do with Jesus, though.
 
2013-03-04 11:33:04 AM  

Inflatable Rhetoric: Easter is Sunday, but Good Friday makes it a 3-day weekend.
I agree, it's a long time between New Years Day and Easter.


Good Friday works too but since Easter is the big day I figured that would be the day that the Catholics would want it centered around.

While we're at it, can we get the Friday after Thanksgiving turned into a holiday?  Barring that, how about Thanksgiving is Friday instead of Thursday?  None of who travel ever work that Friday.  It's silly.
 
2013-03-04 11:37:51 AM  

Wellon Dowd: Have a sexy Easter!

[i.imgur.com image 500x350]

And one for the ladies.

[i.imgur.com image 300x339]


Thanks. I'd like to see her shoot an Easter egg across the room.
 
2013-03-04 11:38:09 AM  

untaken_name: Lord Thorn: untaken_name: Can we get an egg that tells the story of Oester? Talks about pagan fertility gods, and stuff that is actually responsible for the holiday? What, christians don't have enough actual holidays, they have to steal pagan ones, too? I wonder how long it's going to be before there's some christian justification for celebrating halloween and it becomes thought of as a christian holiday, too.

"Hallowe'en" is a contraction of "All Hallows Even," the night before All Hallows/Saints Day, rather a big deal to some denominations. So yeah, sorry, but they've sunk a hook into that one as well.

god dammit


Gotta get the pagans to stop celebrating Samhain somehow.
 
2013-03-04 11:38:32 AM  
It was British-born Flavius Constantinus (Constantine, originally Custennyn or

Custennin) (272-337) who authorised the compilation of the writings now called the Easter Bunny.
 
2013-03-04 11:38:47 AM  

Carn: Me too.  Easter doesn't do much for me though, since I'm not a huge candy guy and our family dinners weren't nearly as awesome as Thanksgiving and Christmas.  However, if they really want me to get serious about Easter then I'm gonna need a day off for it.  How about the Monday after Easter is always a federal holiday, but we'll call it "Spring Traditions Day" so if you want to be Pagan, or celebrate some other way knock yourself out.We definitely need a holiday (with a day off) between Presidents Day and Memorial Day.  We also need one in August.  We can call it "Holy shiat Balls It's farking Hot Today" and I nominate the second Monday in August.


We get Good Friday and Easter Monday off around here - well a good chunk of people anyway, shops are mostly open because lots of people off work makes for better than average takings I presume.
 
2013-03-04 11:39:07 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-04 11:41:30 AM  

Slaxl: I don't know wtf eggs have to do with Easter, but it's clear their plan isn't about reconnecting children with Jesus' eggs


Dafuq?
 
2013-03-04 11:42:36 AM  

megarian: "I've been traveling a lot lately. I was over in Australia during Easter. It was interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do; commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Now, I wonder why we're farked up as a race. You know, I've read the Bible. I can't find the words 'bunny' or 'chocolate' anywhere in the farking book. Where do you come up with this shiat? Why those two things? Why not 'Goldfish left Lincoln Logs in your sock drawer'? As long as we're making shiat up, go hog wild. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on its back crawling across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous connotation to it!"


/There is more money in using our invisible sky wizard to sell commercial products than there is to worship him, so they came up with a marketing scheme. Make a buck off the lord, that's what i say.
 
2013-03-04 11:45:44 AM  

Slaxl: I may be an atheist but i'm all for people having religious holidays as they like. It seems silly to me that we should insist the religious aspects of Christmas be stripped away. It's their holiday. I don't know wtf eggs have to do with Easter, but it's clear their plan isn't about reconnecting children with Jesus' eggs, it's about reminding people that Easter isn't about eggs, it's about Jesus death and resurrection  If they want to fight back against rampant commercialisation stripping their holy times of all meaning then I support that.

Right up until the day religion is abolished I'll be completely in support of equality amongst religions. Then every day I can have a chocolate egg, no longer will it be bound by the oppressive chains of a religious holiday, but free to roam the shelves in traditionally un-eggy months like May, August, even September! This is a good thing.

Now I have to go and buy some chocolate eggs, because I love them more than muslims love Mohammed.


Yeah that's a great sentiment and all but the thing here is that christians are co-opting a different, older holiday and overwriting it with their own. The reason eggs and pine trees are so farking confusing when it comes to easter and christmas is that they aren't christian tradiations or christian holidays. The religion superimposed their own celebrations over others.

Or maybe it's a total coincidence that the church moved their holidays to equinoxes and solstices where people have been celebrating winter and spring festivals for thousands on thousands of years and their thousand-year long misinformation campaign is actually tolerant of other traditions and they're just totally joining in on it.

Or are we just being tolerant of abramahic religions and it's PC to tell the rest of those douche nozzles to fark themselves?

Here's what christmas would look like if you stripped away the religious significance: everyone would get along. Except at family dinners.

If you stripped away all non-religious significant rituals from christmas you can get rid of: santa, gift exchange, goodwill towards fellow people, trees, cheerful decorations, family events and anything that doesn't involve sitting in a church or your own room at home (depending on your alignment with Rome/Byzantium) and praying for 12 hours.

There's a good reason people don't pay much attention to the religious co-opting of christians in midwinter/yule/winter festival/xmas - because it's farking boring and winter is already cold and dark and depressing. People want to drink and game and remind themselves that the farking sun will come out in a few months.

Anyway, jesus eggs became creepy after watching the stop motion commercial.
 
2013-03-04 11:46:13 AM  
Real Jesus Easter eggs would just be empty shells. He is not hatched. He has risen.
 
2013-03-04 11:47:15 AM  

www.wired.com
www.wired.com

 
2013-03-04 11:47:24 AM  
Great! People trying to ruin another holiday with religion.

No wonder Joseph wasn't to pissed about someone knocking up his bimbo though... she was laying chocolate eggs. I wouldn't feel threatened by a chocolate egg either! Might be worried if my wife wasn't laying white-chocolate eggs though.

This also explains the phrase "the temptation of christ"... how did Joseph resist eating Jesus before he hatched?
 
2013-03-04 11:48:11 AM  

xria: Carn: Me too.  Easter doesn't do much for me though, since I'm not a huge candy guy and our family dinners weren't nearly as awesome as Thanksgiving and Christmas.  However, if they really want me to get serious about Easter then I'm gonna need a day off for it.  How about the Monday after Easter is always a federal holiday, but we'll call it "Spring Traditions Day" so if you want to be Pagan, or celebrate some other way knock yourself out.We definitely need a holiday (with a day off) between Presidents Day and Memorial Day.  We also need one in August.  We can call it "Holy shiat Balls It's farking Hot Today" and I nominate the second Monday in August.

We get Good Friday and Easter Monday off around here - well a good chunk of people anyway, shops are mostly open because lots of people off work makes for better than average takings I presume.


We close Th and Fr at Tgiving, a 4 day holiday.  Xmas Eve and Xmas, too, depends on what day xmas is, and NY.  Ppl don't work anyway, might as well stay home.
 
2013-03-04 11:48:25 AM  
I'm kind of surprised that the UK is weighing those things without using the metric system. They're 3.99 pounds, and that's a shiat-ton of chocolate for one sitting.

I wonder how much they cost?
 
2013-03-04 11:49:57 AM  

FARK rebel soldier: [www.wired.com image 231x248]
[www.wired.com image 465x502]


That's right: You stop believing mom and dad and they'll move your ass straight to Juvey.
 
2013-03-04 11:50:01 AM  
slaymyboredom.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-04 11:51:27 AM  

StaleCoffee: People want to drink and game and remind themselves that the farking sun will come out in a few months.


Well, yeah, but the Abrahamic holidays that the christians first co-opted included lots of drinking and partying and whatnot. But, just like christians do to everything else, they sucked all the fun out of it and replaced it with pointless ritual. I mean, the pagan holidays were a LOT better than the christian versions of them, too.
 
2013-03-04 11:52:18 AM  

give me doughnuts: Molavian: We get it, you hate christians.

How edgy.


It's not hate. It's mockery and contempt.


Which is hipster speak for the same thing.
 
2013-03-04 11:52:18 AM  

stonicus: Easter is a celebration of the first zombie!!


I think that as an undead magic user, Jesus is technically a litch.
 
2013-03-04 11:52:36 AM  

megarian: "I've been traveling a lot lately. I was over in Australia during Easter. It was interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do; commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Now, I wonder why we're farked up as a race. You know, I've read the Bible. I can't find the words 'bunny' or 'chocolate' anywhere in the farking book. Where do you come up with this shiat? Why those two things? Why not 'Goldfish left Lincoln Logs in your sock drawer'? As long as we're making shiat up, go hog wild. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on its back crawling across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous connotation to it!"


That's the story of Jesus.
 
2013-03-04 11:55:26 AM  

Molavian: We get it, you hate christians.

How edgy.


Edgy should be in quotes... sarcastiquotes. lol.
 
2013-03-04 11:57:19 AM  
So God, Jesus, Holy ghost... all manifestations of same thing.

God gets Jesus's mum preggers.

Does that make Jesus a mother fu...
 
2013-03-04 11:57:31 AM  
www.thaliatook.com
 
2013-03-04 12:01:49 PM  

natazha: Krymson Tyde: I love how Christians celebrate their two holiest days.

 By stealing pagan holidays and pigging out?


They're not stealing our holidays. Unlike many of the Christers, most of us know how to share with those different than we are and enjoy it when others celebrate with us, even if they use different names for who and what they are celebrating. It kind of goes with polytheism and a lot of us are various forms of polytheist. There are monotheistic Pagans and Heathens, but not as many of them. (I've only met Odinists who were monotheistic, and I think they were closer to soft polytheists, really)
 
2013-03-04 12:05:55 PM  
This thread useless without

i46.tinypic.com
 
2013-03-04 12:13:17 PM  

hdhale: give me doughnuts: Molavian: We get it, you hate christians.

How edgy.


It's not hate. It's mockery and contempt.

Which is hipster speak for the same thing.



See if you can spot the difference.

Persecution:
i105.photobucket.com

Not persecution:
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-04 12:15:44 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-04 12:16:51 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: megarian: "I've been traveling a lot lately. I was over in Australia during Easter. It was interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do; commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Now, I wonder why we're farked up as a race. You know, I've read the Bible. I can't find the words 'bunny' or 'chocolate' anywhere in the farking book. Where do you come up with this shiat? Why those two things? Why not 'Goldfish left Lincoln Logs in your sock drawer'? As long as we're making shiat up, go hog wild. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on its back crawling across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous connotation to it!"

/There is more money in using our invisible sky wizard to sell commercial products than there is to worship him, so they came up with a marketing scheme. Make a buck off the lord, that's what i say.


New idea:

It's gonna be like the Bunny Ranch...but Jesus-themed. All the T&A... none of the guilt?! Hmm...needs work.
 
2013-03-04 12:22:46 PM  

blahpers: [i.imgur.com image 350x335]


Bravo
 
2013-03-04 12:25:17 PM  

blahpers: i.imgur.com


www.thestate.ae
 
2013-03-04 12:31:31 PM  
Now I want a Cadbury Egg.
 
2013-03-04 12:34:38 PM  
Have any of you Americans (I'm one) been to a Tescos? I know it's just a grocery store and should be just like shopping in the US with other whiteys, but that chain bewildered me. There I was, all educated and sh*t, trying figure out the basics of getting groceries.

/has problems at the local supermarket, too, so it's probably just me
 
2013-03-04 12:35:32 PM  
So, you boil these eggs, dye them and then in three days, they hatch anyway. Right?
 
2013-03-04 12:38:53 PM  

bdub77: On the other hand google image search for "Jesus Eggs" provides gems like this:


I lol'd. Am I going to hell?
 
2013-03-04 12:40:39 PM  

tonguedepressor: I don't have any Jesus eggs, I do have "Oh Christ STOP' Get it out of me for f*x sakes, oh my god its too f*cking late" sperm though.


I tend not to use vibrating eggs on easter...
 
2013-03-04 12:41:13 PM  
Has anyone pointed out yet that Christian holidays seem to have been strategically placed on the calendar to coincide with the holidays of other religions that Christians wanted to convert?  Because I'd like to be the first person in history to point this out and claim the prize.
 
2013-03-04 12:43:19 PM  

trappedspirit: Has anyone pointed out yet that Christian holidays seem to have been strategically placed on the calendar to coincide with the holidays of other religions that Christians wanted to convert?  Because I'd like to be the first person in history to point this out and claim the prize.


Here you go:

+1 Intardweb
 
2013-03-04 12:46:37 PM  

bedtundy: AbbeySomeone: AbbeySomeone: http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=david%20sedaris%20easter&sourc e =web&cd=1&ved=0CDEQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv %3DN5apZmwR9UI&ei=d8M0UYPvFqzTigLR0YDADg&usg=AFQjCNGxB84RxULf2VtdLnpFe hv6vcEJWw&bvm=bv.43148975,d.cGE&cad=rja

Not sure wth happened, I intended to post a link to David Sedaris 'Jesus Shaves'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5apZmwR9UI

/just waking up.

Shocked this wasn't posted sooner.  First thing I thought of.

/loves David Sedaris



If you're interested in non-fictional stories (travelogues, autobiographies, that sort of thing), and you haven't read Sedairs yet, you should (obviously directed less at the people I'm quoting since they clearly HAVE read Sedaris).  It's a curious thing, but for some reasons his are some of the very few non-fiction books you can easily find in English in Korea and Japan.  Or at least that was the case a few years ago.  Which in a way is a good thing, as I had never even heard of him until I bought one of his books because it was just about the only non-fiction I could find in a language I could read.  If I had never gone to Asia I might not have ever discovered him.
 
2013-03-04 12:46:52 PM  

dickfreckle: Have any of you Americans (I'm one) been to a Tescos? I know it's just a grocery store and should be just like shopping in the US with other whiteys, but that chain bewildered me. There I was, all educated and sh*t, trying figure out the basics of getting groceries.

/has problems at the local supermarket, too, so it's probably just me


Yeah, it's probably just you. Menfolk like you were one of the reasons the desperate old maid ladies' magazines used to tell the womenfolk one of the best places to meet an eligible man was at the grocery store, usually staring all frightened and confused at the wonderful, spherical things that were not boobs.

/like a deer in headlights, some of ya are
//especially if you're thinking about boobs
 
2013-03-04 12:50:18 PM  

beerrun: Wyckyd Sceptre: [www.landoverbaptist.org image 280x331]

Thanks for the good laugh.
That's hilarious!

/glad I'm alone at work, my boss is a Jesus freak.


Still laughing, myself. Think I'll post it on FB & see how long it lasts lol.
 
2013-03-04 12:56:31 PM  
The real meaning of Easter is "Always look on the bright side of life".
 
2013-03-04 12:57:36 PM  

CeroX: tonguedepressor: I don't have any Jesus eggs, I do have "Oh Christ STOP' Get it out of me for f*x sakes, oh my god its too f*cking late" sperm though.

I tend not to use vibrating eggs on easter...


That's the best time to use them. You know... to show Jesus you're thankful. Really really thankful.
 
2013-03-04 01:00:35 PM  

JackieRabbit: So, you boil these eggs, dye them and then in three days, they hatch anyway. Right?


I'm guessing, they should have turned into chocolate eggs before three days has passed.
 
2013-03-04 01:08:41 PM  

uncoveror: The real meaning of Easter is "Always look on the bright side of life".


*whistles*

dee dee, dede, dedede dee
 
2013-03-04 01:09:54 PM  

penguinfark: bdub77: On the other hand google image search for "Jesus Eggs" provides gems like this:

I lol'd. Am I going to hell?


You were anyway, so this changes nothing.
 
2013-03-04 01:12:21 PM  

Real Women Drink Akvavit: dickfreckle: Have any of you Americans (I'm one) been to a Tescos? I know it's just a grocery store and should be just like shopping in the US with other whiteys, but that chain bewildered me. There I was, all educated and sh*t, trying figure out the basics of getting groceries.

/has problems at the local supermarket, too, so it's probably just me

Yeah, it's probably just you. Menfolk like you were one of the reasons the desperate old maid ladies' magazines used to tell the womenfolk one of the best places to meet an eligible man was at the grocery store, usually staring all frightened and confused at the wonderful, spherical things that were not boobs.

/like a deer in headlights, some of ya are
//especially if you're thinking about boobs



Hey, I was only staring intently at the frozen orange juice because I'd read the label and it said "concentrate."
 
2013-03-04 01:13:40 PM  

hdhale: give me doughnuts: Molavian: We get it, you hate christians.

How edgy.


It's not hate. It's mockery and contempt.

Which is hipster speak for the same thing.



I don't have any vinyl albums, skinny jeans, or a handlebar mustache, so I can't be a hipster. Besides, I can't think of anything I liked before it was cool.

And it is different. To hate something, you have to care about it
 
2013-03-04 01:14:27 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-04 01:16:46 PM  

Real Women Drink Akvavit: /like a deer in headlights, some of ya are
//especially if you're thinking about boobs


Mmm.......boobs.
 
2013-03-04 01:21:34 PM  

StaleCoffee: If you stripped away all non-religious significant rituals from christmas you can get rid of: santa, gift exchange, goodwill towards fellow people, trees, cheerful decorations, family events and anything that doesn't involve sitting in a church or your own room at home (depending on your alignment with Rome/Byzantium) and praying for 12 hours.


Define religious.

Because gift exchange, goodwill towards fellow people, family events, and all the nonsense about mounting stars from rickety ladders all falls out of Christian dogma and the birth story. We can debate whether that's a religious aspect or not, but it's as religious as the non-prayer aspects of any other faith's rituals.
 
2013-03-04 01:26:25 PM  
The Christian haven't stolen anything. The pagans have triumphed by convincing Christians to celebrate pagan festivals in direct disobedience to the Bible and God's teaching. Very smart, actually.
 
2013-03-04 01:38:52 PM  

Psycoholic_Slag: I like how the Christians get all uppity when people continue to recognize the traditions of the original pagan holidays the the Catholic Church piggy-backed on to.


One of the things we neo-Pagans are  very well aware of is that our ancestors' beliefs lives on in Christianity--and that it happened because, when someone points a sword at you and tells you to convert, you do whatever you have to in order to keep your faith alive. That's not a religious 'oh, all religions are REALLY just ours' thing, either, that's something we  actually studied in anthropology class with a group of Brazilian natives who'd done the same thing, and we do understand very well that European faiths did it too.

That said, in modern day, we're  laughing up our sleeves happy to share (well, okay, we're actually pretty much totally happy to share, since you guys mass-produced chocolate for most of the major holidays, and fark it, chocolate's awesome), but ffs, it's not like Christians have a right to be offended at the 'pagan roots' of things that only exist because they couldn't STFU and let other people have their own religions.

/Really, we are happy to share, but seriously. STFU and eat the chocolate like the rest of us.
 
2013-03-04 01:38:59 PM  
As long as I get my Cadbury Mini Eggs, I couldn't care less what they put on the packaging. Just give me my chocolate, and back away slowly.
 
2013-03-04 01:46:32 PM  
Wikipedia: The egg was a symbol of the rebirth of the earth in Pagan celebrations of spring and was adopted by early Christians as a symbol of the rebirth of man at Easter. So the Christian are trying to reclaim the symbol from the Pagans that they stole in and then lost again. Good luck with that.
 
2013-03-04 01:47:43 PM  
Now with more HTML:

Wikipedia: The egg was a symbol of the rebirth of the earth in Pagan celebrations of spring and was adopted by early Christians as a symbol of the rebirth of man at Easter.

So the Christian are trying to reclaim the symbol from the Pagans that they stole in and then lost again. Good luck with that.
 
2013-03-04 01:54:59 PM  
Is this where Richard Attenborough finds some fossilised Jesus DNA in amber, clones him into an ostrich egg, and creates the reincarnation of Satan when he realises he's mixed up the genetic sequencing?
 
2013-03-04 02:36:38 PM  
All thi talk of Jesús Eggs is making me hungry for some Huevos Rancheros.

1.bp.blogspot.com

Oh - Jesus.
 
2013-03-04 02:54:59 PM  
No, Jesus does not lay eggs. God reproduces asexually.
 
2013-03-04 03:06:45 PM  

Jument: No, Jesus does not lay eggs. God reproduces asexually.


Parthenogenetically, perhaps?

Bart Farker: All thi talk of Jesús Eggs is making me hungry for some Huevos Rancheros.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 500x333]

Oh - Jesus.


Dammit, now I want chorizo and eggs.   recipe

I was skeptical of the raisins, but it works.
 
2013-03-04 03:35:48 PM  

Parthenogenetic: Jument: No, Jesus does not lay eggs. God reproduces asexually.

Parthenogenetically, perhaps?



So when people say "Jesus H. Christ," the H stands for haploid?
 
2013-03-04 04:12:44 PM  

Parthenogenetic: Dammit, now I want chorizo and eggs.


moviehole.net

So does he.
 
2013-03-04 05:07:11 PM  

Jument: No, Jesus does not lay eggs. God reproduces asexually.


Then what was Mary for?
 
2013-03-04 05:11:20 PM  
www.jesusneverexisted.com
 
2013-03-04 05:41:10 PM  

BigBeefyBaynon: www.jesusneverexisted.com


FAIL. There's no chocolate on that website.
 
2013-03-04 06:14:30 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-04 06:19:25 PM  

bdub77: On the other hand google image search for "Jesus Eggs" provides gems like this:


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*gasp*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2013-03-04 06:23:14 PM  

natazha: Krymson Tyde: I love how Christians celebrate their two holiest days.

 By stealing pagan holidays and pigging out?


Most of them don't know the origins of Easter and Christmas. What they do know is the Easter Bunny hides eggs on the day christ was resurrected and you spend a lot of money in a commercial whorefest for His birthday.
 
2013-03-04 07:51:25 PM  

Krymson Tyde: natazha: Krymson Tyde: I love how Christians celebrate their two holiest days.

 By stealing pagan holidays and pigging out?

Most of them don't know the origins of Easter and Christmas. What they do know is the Easter Bunny hides eggs on the day christ was resurrected and you spend a lot of money in a commercial whorefest for His birthday.


Most of them don't know much about anything.
 
2013-03-04 07:53:27 PM  

Inflatable Rhetoric: Krymson Tyde: natazha: Krymson Tyde: I love how Christians celebrate their two holiest days.

 By stealing pagan holidays and pigging out?

Most of them don't know the origins of Easter and Christmas. What they do know is the Easter Bunny hides eggs on the day christ was resurrected and you spend a lot of money in a commercial whorefest for His birthday.

Most of them don't know much about anything.


They seem to take pride in ignorance.  Something to do with Eve and the apple, I suppose.
 
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