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(The Daily News - Longview)   ♫ If I had a hammer, I'd take hallucinogens, I'd hammer after midnight, and take off all my clothes. I'd carry a naked baby, and tell Jesus to GTFO, until the cops restrain me, all over this land. ♫   (tdn.com) divider line 30
    More: Strange, GTFO, synthetic marijuana, kelso, swinging, clothing, woman carrying  
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3011 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2013 at 8:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-04 06:23:52 AM  
Get Leonard Nimoy to sing that, and you have shiat on your hands.
 
2013-03-04 07:32:34 AM  
images.wikia.com
 
2013-03-04 09:02:23 AM  
Kratom? That's highly unlikely, although it's a good go to excuse since it's legal.
Probably Shrooms or Acid.
 
2013-03-04 09:02:55 AM  
Looks like I've got to say it again:

If you don't have the skill, or the inclination to at least put in an effort at getting your "satirical" song lyrics to fit the meter of the song, don't inflict your "work" on the rest of us.

There's only one non-original phrase in the entire headline that accurately scans the actual song, and the song's rhythmic scheme is ignored entirely.

  Honestly, if you're not even going to try to do it right, why bother?
 
2013-03-04 09:17:39 AM  

Deucednuisance: Honestly, if you're not even going to try to do it right, why bother?


He was simulating the work of someone on hallucinogens.
 
2013-03-04 09:34:17 AM  
need pics of the woman to make a fair assessment of this situation.
 
2013-03-04 09:40:20 AM  

Deucednuisance: There's only one non-original phrase in the entire headline that accurately scans the actual song, and the song's rhythmic scheme is ignored entirely. Honestly, if you're not even going to try to do it right, why bother?


Oh, sure, people  could go to all the trouble of making satirical lyrics that scanned correctly, had the emphasis on the right syllables, and all that.  But then we'd be Filkers, not Farkers, and we would miss out on the sweet, sweet tears of impotent rage wept by musicians at the mental pain they feel when they're trolled by things that don't scan. :)
 
2013-03-04 09:57:33 AM  
So it's a stimulant that in high doses causes hallucinations, but in Asia it's a sedative.  What is it about crossing the international dateline that changes its chemical properties.
 
2013-03-04 10:26:55 AM  

theorellior: Deucednuisance: Honestly, if you're not even going to try to do it right, why bother?

He was simulating the work of someone on hallucinogens.


Agreed. The dissonance made it even funnier.

+1 Would LOL again.
 
2013-03-04 10:44:47 AM  

dbirchall: Oh, sure, people could go to all the trouble of making satirical lyrics that scanned correctly, had the emphasis on the right syllables, and all that. But then we'd be Filkers, not Farkers, and we would miss out on the sweet, sweet tears of impotent rage wept by musicians at the mental pain they feel when they're trolled by things that don't scan. :)


It's nothing compared to the pain I feel watching actors pretending to play musical instruments in movies/teevee:

"No!  That fingering doesn't exist!  You're holding that trombone upside-down!  Stop puffing your cheeks!  That's not how you hold a flute!  For God's sake, why are you pretending to play when your part is silent, and taking breaths while your note's still going on?  Are you people even listening to the playback at all?"

Mrs. Nuisance thinks I should open a consulting business on "how to fake it effectively"....
 
2013-03-04 10:53:59 AM  
I laughed in perfect meter
 
2013-03-04 11:07:06 AM  

Deucednuisance: dbirchall: Oh, sure, people could go to all the trouble of making satirical lyrics that scanned correctly, had the emphasis on the right syllables, and all that. But then we'd be Filkers, not Farkers, and we would miss out on the sweet, sweet tears of impotent rage wept by musicians at the mental pain they feel when they're trolled by things that don't scan. :)

It's nothing compared to the pain I feel watching actors pretending to play musical instruments in movies/teevee:

"No!  That fingering doesn't exist!  You're holding that trombone upside-down!  Stop puffing your cheeks!  That's not how you hold a flute!  For God's sake, why are you pretending to play when your part is silent, and taking breaths while your note's still going on?  Are you people even listening to the playback at all?"

Mrs. Nuisance thinks I should open a consulting business on "how to fake it effectively"....


God knows she's been faking it effectively all these years. so WTF are you, a anal retentive music teacher? lighten up, Buzz Killington.
 
2013-03-04 11:21:06 AM  

Goetz: Kratom? That's highly unlikely, although it's a good go to excuse since it's legal.
Probably Shrooms or Acid.

calm like a bomb: So it's a stimulant that in high doses causes hallucinations, but in Asia it's a sedative.  What is it about crossing the international dateline that changes its chemical properties.


Natural doesn't mean it can't fark you up.  Especially since one of its actions is as an NMDA antagonist, which is how PCP works.  As for low/high doses, it's not unheard of.  The technical description is "inverted u" effect because instead of a dose/response curve that looks like .....··°°°°° it looks more like  ..··°°··..  you can get that from something like high dose-induced nonspecific activation of a cascade that works to counteract the primary target.
 
2013-03-04 11:23:17 AM  

KrispyKritter: God knows she's been faking it effectively all these years.


Took you long enough.

I swear, I'm gonna just have to put out the batting tee.  You farkers don't seem to be able to make much content with the softballs.
 
2013-03-04 11:24:11 AM  
Deucednuisance: content

"contact", dammit.
 
2013-03-04 11:24:23 AM  
www.redstate.com
 
2013-03-04 11:25:28 AM  
I'm not sure whether I'm relieved or disappointed that this article did not end up being about an elderly Peter Yarrow or Paul Stookey snapping and going completely crazy, from the headline.

www.soundstagedirect.com

/RIP Mary Travers, 2009
 
2013-03-04 11:29:38 AM  
And here I am thinking this was from Maxwell's Silver Hammer.

/too young and ignorant for this thread, apparently
 
2013-03-04 11:34:17 AM  
They were memorializing Mary Travers at singin' night last night.  It's a small, synchronous world.
 
2013-03-04 12:23:24 PM  
www.sonicftp.com
Like a post-post modern man?
 
2013-03-04 02:03:49 PM  

Deucednuisance: Looks like I've got to say it again:

If you don't have the skill, or the inclination to at least put in an effort at getting your "satirical" song lyrics to fit the meter of the song, don't inflict your "work" on the rest of us.

There's only one non-original phrase in the entire headline that accurately scans the actual song, and the song's rhythmic scheme is ignored entirely.

  Honestly, if you're not even going to try to do it right, why bother?


/sing this like Bob Dylan would.
 
2013-03-04 02:07:17 PM  
I have done kratom on several occasions and it just gives a mild, opioid-type buzz. Overuse of MDPV or A-PVP (*generically called "bath salts") will certainly cause hallucinations, paranoia and odd behavior.
 
2013-03-04 03:49:53 PM  
best headline ever.

That is all.
 
2013-03-04 03:55:32 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-04 04:40:16 PM  
♪ If I had a hammer, I'd hammer your farkin' head in.
I'd hammer in the evenin'
And all day looooong ♫
 
2013-03-05 06:10:42 AM  
Why do people high on bath salts always end up nude? Do they actually plan on taking a bath?
 
2013-03-05 08:19:53 AM  

Abacus9: Why do people high on bath salts always end up nude? Do they actually plan on taking a bath?


it's cause it just FEELS GOOD to be NUDE

and you realize the worst thing that can happen is getting arrested, it's not that frightening ANYMORE.

quite LIBERATING.
 
2013-03-05 10:09:36 AM  

Abacus9: Why do people high on bath salts always end up nude? Do they actually plan on taking a bath?


Serious answer: I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that bath salts raise your core temperature (i.e. gives you a fever), so they're actually trying to cool off.
 
2013-03-05 12:05:00 PM  
This cell is your cell.
 
2013-03-06 12:13:35 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: and you realize the worst thing that can happen is getting arrested, it's not that frightening ANYMORE.


Yeah, but what's the BEST thing that can happen? Maybe a nice bubble bath, right?

snake_beater: Serious answer: I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that bath salts raise your core temperature (i.e. gives you a fever), so they're actually trying to cool off.


I can understand that, but how hot do you actually get? I've withstood 100+ degree days in July on the top floor of an apartment building with no working AC and not had to get nude to cool off. These bath salts are beginning to sound like bad news...
 
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