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(Mental Floss)   Ever wanted to follow in Ferris Bueller's footsteps? Anyone? Anyone? Well, you might want to think twice if you don't want to spend the next decade in prison   (mentalfloss.com) divider line 69
    More: Interesting, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, computer fraud, criminal defense attorney  
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7723 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Mar 2013 at 8:24 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-03 06:51:46 PM
Thanks for that Professor Buzzkill.

Next you'll tell us that cops can't just run around shooting everything that moves, drive like maniacs, and if we carried around a corpse at a resort, you might face some serious jail time too. What's next? Going to tell us that irradiating ourselves with gamma rays will just kill us instead of granting us the immense power of the The Hulk? That diving into freezing waters in the Atlantic won't preserve our bodies like Steve Rogers? That most of our bosses wouldn't appreciate our taking time to close up shop to play street hockey and letting stoners hang out in front of a convenience store?

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL US THIS SOONER?
 
2013-03-03 07:14:04 PM
Whoa, whoa, whoa, there... you mean to tell me Hogan's Heroes wasn't a documentary?  Well, at least I know that if I'm ever stranded on an uncharted island, I can recharge batteries using bamboo and coconuts... and Mary Ann.
 
2013-03-03 07:18:53 PM
I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it.
 
2013-03-03 07:27:08 PM
That lady need to take the stick out of her ass.
 
2013-03-03 07:43:31 PM
Of course, this still doesn't solve the great debate of the 80s:

Who was cooler, Ferris Bueller or Marty McFly?
 
2013-03-03 07:44:15 PM

Richard Saunders: Whoa, whoa, whoa, there... you mean to tell me Hogan's Heroes wasn't a documentary?  Well, at least I know that if I'm ever stranded on an uncharted island, I can recharge batteries using bamboo and coconuts... and Mary Ann.


Dude, NOBODY got Mary Ann...
 
2013-03-03 07:53:14 PM

Ishkur: Who was cooler, Ferris Bueller or Marty McFly?


That's even a question?
 
2013-03-03 08:14:47 PM
Ferris Bueller seriously needed to get his ass kicked.
 
2013-03-03 08:28:06 PM
This is the most pointless article on the entire interwebz.  There must be a prize of some sort.
 
2013-03-03 08:28:06 PM
Don't get me started on Revenge of the Nerds.  Rape and Hidden cameras...
 
2013-03-03 08:29:18 PM
Ferris Bueller was a fever dream, so you can't follow his footsteps because they were all a hallucinogenic experience caused by fever and too much cough syrup.
 
2013-03-03 08:31:00 PM

hubiestubert: Richard Saunders: Whoa, whoa, whoa, there... you mean to tell me Hogan's Heroes wasn't a documentary?  Well, at least I know that if I'm ever stranded on an uncharted island, I can recharge batteries using bamboo and coconuts... and Mary Ann.

Dude, NOBODY got Mary Ann...


That's because the Professor was able to recharge her vibrator batteries with bamboo & coconuts.  For all his brilliance, sometimes the good Prof didn't think things through all the way...
 
2013-03-03 08:34:29 PM
This article even outdumbs BuzzFeed. I mean really?

Hey, War Games was on TV today too. I watched a bit of it to relive the old days. Did you know gaining unauthorized access to computer systems is a crime too?

Not only did he start out hacking into his school's computer, but when he's war-dialing phone number after phone number and the chick (sorry, don't remember the character's names) asks "Isn't that expensive?" He replies "There are ways around that."

That's highly illegal too.

I look forward to the followup articles about other illegal things done in movies too.

Hey, were any crimes depicted in about a million other movies that have ever been made?

And while we're at it, was Captain Crunch a criminal as well as a folk hero?
 
2013-03-03 08:40:47 PM
Unless he had an early birthday, Ferris would have been under 18.
 
2013-03-03 08:41:35 PM

Happy Hours: And while we're at it, was Captain Crunch a criminal as well as a folk hero?


I'm surprised Bob Dylan hasn't written a song about him.

While we're on the subject of cereal offenders (pun intended), the Trix rabbit should be put on a child predator list.
 
2013-03-03 08:42:24 PM

Happy Hours: And while we're at it, was Captain Crunch a criminal as well as a folk hero?


I heard he was a cereal killer. 

/ rimshot
// I'll be here all week, try the veal
 
2013-03-03 08:44:50 PM

Donnchadha: I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it.


Really? I have found that sitting on my ass while events unfold is my most marketable skill...
 
2013-03-03 08:45:17 PM
So... people link to a thing that links to a thing?  Still?
 
2013-03-03 08:50:09 PM
Hacking wasn't much of a crime in 1986.
 
2013-03-03 08:50:49 PM

hubiestubert: Thanks for that Professor Buzzkill.

Next you'll tell us that cops can't just run around shooting everything that moves, drive like maniacs, and if we carried around a corpse at a resort, you might face some serious jail time too. What's next? Going to tell us that irradiating ourselves with gamma rays will just kill us instead of granting us the immense power of the The Hulk? That diving into freezing waters in the Atlantic won't preserve our bodies like Steve Rogers? That most of our bosses wouldn't appreciate our taking time to close up shop to play street hockey and letting stoners hang out in front of a convenience store?

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL US THIS SOONER?


i.imgur.com

You're welcome!
 
2013-03-03 08:56:49 PM

mrlewish: Don't get me started on Revenge of the Nerds.  Rape and Hidden cameras...


Not to mention sexual harassment, sexual assault, and general assault.  Then again, the football team is up on charges for arson, extortion (didn't the students play for their dorms already?), intimidation, racketeering, public indecency, and assault with intent to harm.  The coach could be up for losing his job and could be sued by the college for letting this go for years...think Paterno turning a blind eye and all that.

In fact, in the real world, Adams College would be a pit that would be lucky to be running with their football team run amok, general bigotry by the town around the campus, and general inability to keep students from being kicked out of paid-for dorms and forced to sleep in the gym.
 
2013-03-03 09:02:43 PM
Didn't Matthew Broderick kill a guy, too?

Oh, we're talking about Ferris. My bad.
 
2013-03-03 09:03:15 PM
An article that went through the film, scene by scene, and listed all the crimes that Ferris and crew committed.... along with probable jail sentences would have been interesting. This wasn't that article.
 
2013-03-03 09:04:28 PM
Subby, no thanks to you for the link to this typing, I want my time refunded.
 
2013-03-03 09:08:59 PM

Hoopy Frood: Unless he had an early birthday, Ferris would have been under 18.


Early birthday?  He's a senior, it's baseball season, and they go swimming.  In Chicago.  It's clearly springtime and probably sometime in May.  He's most likely 18 by that point unless he has a late birthday.
 
2013-03-03 09:12:03 PM
He wanted to just follow his ass
www.threedonia.com
and, look how that turned out
jonathanturley.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-03 09:15:18 PM

invictus2: He wanted to just follow his ass
[www.threedonia.com image 600x323]
and, look how that turned out
[jonathanturley.files.wordpress.com image 208x250]


Came for this.
 
2013-03-03 09:21:26 PM
t2.gstatic.com

Totally worth it.
 
2013-03-03 09:24:13 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

Also totally worth it.
 
2013-03-03 09:26:28 PM

Happy Hours: Hey, War Games was on TV today too. I watched a bit of it to relive the old days. Did you know gaining unauthorized access to computer systems is a crime too?

Not only did he start out hacking into his school's computer, but when he's war-dialing phone number after phone number and the chick (sorry, don't remember the character's names) asks "Isn't that expensive?" He replies "There are ways around that."

That's highly illegal too.


Yes, and the character was arrested by the FBI in the movie (of course he escaped, but then he returned). Since the movie ends right after the world is saved, it's not revealed whether the government took him back into custody and went ahead and charged him with all those crimes, but they could have. Although he helped stop the computer from launching the missiles, his hacking instigated the situation nonetheless.
 
2013-03-03 09:30:16 PM
 
2013-03-03 09:44:00 PM

hubiestubert: That diving into freezing waters in the Atlantic won't preserve our bodies like Steve Rogers?


Well it will if you've been dosed with that super-solider serum.

/ don't tell me that doesn't exist either...
 
2013-03-03 09:55:32 PM
Wow...Jill.  Thanks for that paragraph and a half of insight...you must have spent a long time on it and it really shows.  I see BIG things in your future.
 
2013-03-03 10:04:21 PM

Ishkur: Of course, this still doesn't solve the great debate of the 80s:

Who was cooler, Ferris Bueller or Marty McFly?


Bueller was by far, McFly had a cooler story tho
 
2013-03-03 10:06:05 PM
IT'S A MOVIE, ASSHOLE!
 
2013-03-03 10:09:35 PM
I'll pile on that the article was lame. A decent article would have gone step by step through the movie listing the minimum, average, and maximum penalties for every single law each character breaks in the movie. Then they could show what the range of total jail time and fines would be. That would be an interesting way to relive the movie and favorite quotes, along with actually learning something. It would be akin to the full scale breakdowns of how many days Bill Murray relives Feb 2 in Groundhog day.

Some smart farker with a blog that sucks....make it so.
 
2013-03-03 10:10:31 PM

mrlewish: Don't get me started on Revenge of the Nerds.  Rape and Hidden cameras...


It wasn't rape if they were in California.
 
2013-03-03 10:15:34 PM
I'd gnosh on Sloane's naughty bits like...like nobody ever created an analogy for.
 
2013-03-03 10:26:06 PM
He's middle class and white. He would have gotten a slap on the wrist.
 
2013-03-03 10:27:29 PM

VGA Hole: Didn't Matthew Broderick kill a guy, too?

Oh, we're talking about Ferris. My bad.


In 1987, Broderick, then 25 and already a widely known star from his leading role in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," was vacationing in Northern Ireland, when the rental BMW he was driving veered into the oncoming lane, colliding head-on with a car being driven by a 28-year-old woman who was accompanied by her 63-year-old mother.
Broderick and his passenger had minor injuries. The women in the other car were killed.
Initially, Broderick was charged with the country's equivalent of vehicular homicide, for which he could have done five years. Later, the charge was reduced to careless driving, for which he paid a $175 fine.
Apparently, his explanation - that he had absolutely no idea and absolutely no recollection of what happened - stood up. The family of the victims called it "a travesty of justice."
 nypost.com
 
2013-03-03 11:09:15 PM
Making up a fake name is "identity theft" now?
 
2013-03-03 11:15:30 PM
unrealitytv.com

Bo and Luke Duke were on probation and as a result, restricted from carrying guns, so instead they carried compound bows with dynamite tipped arrows (which apparently was a-ok) as a work-around that kept them in compliance with the law.

So it can be done.
 
2013-03-03 11:16:43 PM

NewportBarGuy: Ishkur: Who was cooler, Ferris Bueller or Marty McFly?

That's even a question?


Everyone knows that the pinnacle of teenage cool in the 80's was Phoebe Cates getting out of the swimming pool.
 
2013-03-03 11:30:29 PM

Martstar: Hoopy Frood: Unless he had an early birthday, Ferris would have been under 18.

Early birthday?  He's a senior, it's baseball season, and they go swimming.  In Chicago.  It's clearly springtime and probably sometime in May.  He's most likely 18 by that point unless he has a late birthday.


That only puts them 4+ months into the year. I don't know when our cutoff date was, but I had friends with birthdays as late as mid-November who hadn't started school a year later.
 
2013-03-03 11:30:43 PM

Ishkur: Of course, this still doesn't solve the great debate of the 80s:

Who was cooler, Ferris Bueller or Marty McFly?


Scott Howard
 
2013-03-03 11:33:18 PM

Happy Hours: Hey, War Games was on TV today too. I watched a bit of it to relive the old days. Did you know gaining unauthorized access to computer systems is a crime too?


Did you catch it on WGN?  Despite the fact that it was edited for basic cable probably over 25 years ago, WGN decided to edit out small chunks here and there for a fresh new cut.  It drove me batty.

/had to vent
//article is dumb anyway
 
2013-03-03 11:40:07 PM
You know, our Dear Author might have gotten more mileage if she'd reviewed Come On Eileen...

/Because Monique Powell needs MOAR screen time.
//And because their cover of "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" was bittersweet...
 
2013-03-03 11:50:29 PM

Nem Wan: Happy Hours: Hey, War Games was on TV today too. I watched a bit of it to relive the old days. Did you know gaining unauthorized access to computer systems is a crime too?

Not only did he start out hacking into his school's computer, but when he's war-dialing phone number after phone number and the chick (sorry, don't remember the character's names) asks "Isn't that expensive?" He replies "There are ways around that."

That's highly illegal too.

Yes, and the character was arrested by the FBI in the movie (of course he escaped, but then he returned). Since the movie ends right after the world is saved, it's not revealed whether the government took him back into custody and went ahead and charged him with all those crimes, but they could have. Although he helped stop the computer from launching the missiles, his hacking instigated the situation nonetheless.


I always figured that the FBI or DoD made him an offer of amnesty in exchange for becoming a white-hat security consultant.
 
2013-03-04 12:35:52 AM

Martstar: Hoopy Frood: Unless he had an early birthday, Ferris would have been under 18.

Early birthday?  He's a senior, it's baseball season, and they go swimming.  In Chicago.  It's clearly springtime and probably sometime in May.  He's most likely 18 by that point unless he has a late birthday.


It depends on where you start school.  Some places start at age 5, some at 6.  I started kindergarten at age 5, and I was 17 when I graduated.  Actually I was technically 4 when I started, since my birthday is in September and the cutoff was some point after that.
 
2013-03-04 12:38:12 AM

Mad_Radhu: I always figured that the FBI or DoD made him an offer of amnesty in exchange for becoming a white-hat security consultant.


That works in movie logic, I guess.

In the real world, that only happens _after_ you've served all or most of your prison term.  And that's assuming you actually make it to prison (increasingly less likely the more successful your hacking was), the agency you compromised feeling that they can adequately keep you on-task and out of further trouble, and a judge feeling sympathetic to said agency's request.

//Dramatic movies about the real world would be pretty lame if anyone ever made one.  Life fails at pacing.
 
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