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(MSN)   ♫ ♫ Do you wanna be a mistress? Do you promise not to tell? oh-oh closer ♫ ♫   ( divider line
    More: Asinine, Hell's Kitchen, other woman  
•       •       •

12005 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Mar 2013 at 5:47 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-03-03 05:52:51 PM  
10 votes:
"Men are simple," 43-year-old Symonds tells the Daily Mail. "It's Eat. Sleep. Fornicate."

biatch does not have a clue. We like to drink beer also.
2013-03-03 06:02:40 PM  
3 votes:
"Men are simple," 43-year-old Symonds tells the Daily Mail. "It's Eat. Sleep. Fornicate."

So if we're so simple but make your life complicated then become a lesbian.

"Women are simple. Nag, shopping and head games."
2013-03-03 05:54:19 PM  
3 votes:
My mistress and wife met at the hospital when I was admitted to the ER. The orderlies got a big kick out of it :(
2013-03-03 08:15:03 PM  
2 votes:
From the "people not like you and me" files comes this gripping story:

I once got upgraded to 1st class on a SFO to JFK flight and spent the entire time listening to the "other other" woman complain about how her famous author boyfriend was cheating on her with an "other other other" woman.  Mind you, she was on the flight for what was essentially a trans-country booty call so that he could cheat on his mistress instead of cheating on his wife WITH his mistress, (said mistress having been fed some phony story about him being called away to a meeting with publishers).

I attempted to get her to see the absurdity of her position, but failed miserably.  This woman was absolutely pissed that her unfaithful-to-his-partner-in-infidelity "boyfriend" would be unfaithful to HER.  And she could not accept that the situation was not only predictable but that she had no moral or other grounds for complaint.  The closest I got her to linking cause and effect and predicting likely outcomes was that she at one point made a joke that "his wife won't fark, his girlfriend won't swallow, and I won't take it up the ass, so if that other biatch gives decent head I'm going to have start paying my own rent," which I've used as a quote when telling this story at parties for the last twenty years.
2013-03-03 05:53:12 PM  
2 votes:
Id imagine first rule of mistress club is same as first rule of fight club.
2013-03-03 06:23:09 PM  
1 vote:
Hey guys! I'm here for the....

Oh. OH! Wrong kind of Mistresses.
2013-03-03 06:13:30 PM  
1 vote:

Oldiron_79: Id imagine first rule of mistress club is same as first rule of fight club.

Why would they talk about fight club in mistress club, anyway?  That's a dumb rule.
2013-03-03 06:06:27 PM  
1 vote:
2013-03-03 05:56:28 PM  
1 vote:
Thats Mistress, not mistress, there subby... or .. /subby
2013-03-03 05:56:22 PM  
1 vote:
A little unsolicited head goes a long way from making me stray.
2013-03-03 05:51:22 PM  
1 vote:
That "oh-oh" should be drawn out a little more.
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