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(MSN)   ♫ ♫ Do you wanna be a mistress? Do you promise not to tell? oh-oh closer ♫ ♫   (living.msn.com) divider line 74
    More: Asinine, Hell's Kitchen, other woman  
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11975 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Mar 2013 at 5:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-03 09:13:16 PM
So apparently this guy got a sex change, basically?

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-03 09:33:42 PM
Rule #7: If he leaves the wife and marries you, you already know that he is an adulterer, so don't be at all surprised when he starts farking someone besides you.
 
2013-03-03 09:37:59 PM

Uzzah: The Rules for Mistresses:

1. Do not expect him to leave his wife for you. It doesn't matter what he tells you about his intentions, or how miserable she makes him. Operate under the assumption that he will *never* leave his wife.
1a. However, be prepared for the possibility that he might leave his wife for you. Even if you tell him not to. (*Especially* if you tell him not to, actually.)
1b. It will be difficult to follow rules 1 and 1a simultaneously. Such is the life of a mistress. If you don't want to deal with that kind of ambiguity, find someone who isn't already taken.

2. He is probably lying to his wife, so he is probably lying to you, too. You may call him out on any lies he tells you, but don't expect that to be a particularly persuasive argument.

3. Do not do anything affirmatively embarass the wife, either directly or indirectly. She may be an innocent party in all of this, or she may be willing to pretend she doesn't know about you. In either case, you're not entitled to make her look bad or foolish, or even to draw her attention to your existence.
3a. You may retaliate if the wife affirmatively takes steps to embarass you, but given your position, you are required to calibrate your reaction slightly downard. If the same provocation from a stranger would warrant your retaliation at a level of 4, you may retaliate against provocation by the wife at a level of 2 for the first two incidents, and a level of 3 thereafter. Remember, you are in a somewhat morally-wrong position here.

4. Accept the realities of your position: you will be expected to make yourself available on-call or with minimal notice; you will be subject to occasional cancellation of plans with minimal notice; and you are expected to be discreet in your public appearances with him. You are granted a bit of latitude to complain to him if he overly avails himself of these rights, but only to a degree; ultimately, your primary source of relief against his abuse of positio ...


Hehe, THIS.

My master is a Reality TV Producer. His job is stressful, and unstable, constantly hopping from reality show to reality show causing drama at every turn. When he comes home his wife (who is a high-profile lawyer) is rarely home, and for the most part SHE supports him (she makes much more than what he does).

I can understand why he likes being able to help and support a struggling college student in exchange for some affection. For the most part I stick to all the rules that have been posted and we get along fine.

Of course, I need to be much more careful than most people since his wife is a lawyer and can easily make my life miserable if she ever found out. So far so good. But just in case, I have a plan ready to skip town...
 
2013-03-03 09:40:22 PM

Uzzah: I'd submit that a person who is unable to meet their partner's needs and unwilling to allow him or her to have those needs met elsewhere is being selfish, a moral failing at least as significant as infidelity.


I disagree.  The standard marriage vows include in sickness and in health.  I think it's a good idea to let a partner have outside opportunity if you can't perform but I don't think there is an obligation to do so.

However, in the far more common case of simply not interested I feel the agreement has already been broken by the one who don't put out, there is no obligation on the other party to hold to a broken agreement.
 
2013-03-03 09:57:40 PM

undernova: I'm sure my wife would acknowledge the ESF concept if she weren't so sure that, after 17 years and 3 children, she's got me completely by the balls and therefore has no reason to care if I'm happy or not.


20 and 4.
 
2013-03-03 10:33:03 PM
OK, here's one -
is it really cheating if, in a 25 year marriage, hubby and wife haven't even slept in the same room, much less bed for almost 7 years, much less less actually wiggled naughtily and are only even housemates at this point because of the 16 and 9 yr old kids?

and no, I've never been married.
 
2013-03-03 11:27:39 PM

TwistedFark: I cheated on my wife with about 5 different women over a year ago (a period of about 3 months).

I can't speak for every other philandering husband out there, but at the end of the day it came down to the fact that my wife and I were having relatively uninspired sex once a month and we had no way to talk about it or what to do about it.

In my particular case, the communication bit was really the key (I know this is trite and overdone, but whatever). I could not tell my wife in any explicit terms that I needed to get more sex from her because doing so would be admitting that I had a need she could fufil and thereby potentially reject. My personality is one such that the possibility of rejection and the vulnerability that comes with it is not something that I readily cope with - in fact I organise all my relationships and commitments around being the one in the position of power to reject other people - hence why it was easier for me to go out and bed other women in pursuit than to talk plainly to my wife about the issue.

TL;DR - We talked it out. We have a lot more (interesting) sex. We're both a lot happier actually. Wife actually almost came out and said the other day that she thought the infidelity was a good thing, at least from the perspective that our marriage was doomed at the time anyway.


So you labeled your condition and now you feel better, with it being clinical and all?
 
2013-03-03 11:30:07 PM
Because, of course infidelity is always the wife's fault, amirite?

Being a wife, I know a lot of wives, and I can tell you that most wives who don't put out don't because their husbands are assholes.  Yeah, there's probably a vicious circle of jerk behavior coming from both spouses, but if one of 'em decides the desire to get farked outweighs his promise to the other person, I'm going to guess things are weighted a little heavily in that direction.

Yes, I've been cheated on.  Ex claimed I wanted to have sex too often. I am not making that up, even though it sounds ridiculously stupid.  He also thought the neighborhood skank he cheated with really meant it when she swore she loved him and not the other ten guys she was farking. Boy wasn't too swift.
 
2013-03-03 11:34:55 PM

elvisaintdead: OK, here's one -
is it really cheating if, in a 25 year marriage, hubby and wife haven't even slept in the same room, much less bed for almost 7 years, much less less actually wiggled naughtily and are only even housemates at this point because of the 16 and 9 yr old kids?

and no, I've never been married.


Yep.  If you're man enough to say "I do" at least be man enough to say "I give up".
 
2013-03-04 12:04:36 AM
That article was exceptionally stupid.

And I'll just leave this for the ladies. Elizabeth Hurley is a fricken goddess. On a scale of 1-10...that woman is still (IMO) a 12+. And she's not one of those women who exudes sexuality as purely an act, she's a walking sex bomb.

And she was cheated on. And not to disparage the woman that her partner chose to get blown by...but this wasn't someone who could hold a candle to Hurley in *any way*...except in one. She was physically there.

Anyone laying the blame on that at Hurley's feet would be a moron. Again, IMO.

And someone who just had an affair with someone famous and was his girlfriend on the side is hardly expert on these matters.
 
2013-03-04 12:59:52 AM

sethen320: elvisaintdead: OK, here's one -
is it really cheating if, in a 25 year marriage, hubby and wife haven't even slept in the same room, much less bed for almost 7 years, much less less actually wiggled naughtily and are only even housemates at this point because of the 16 and 9 yr old kids?

and no, I've never been married.

Yep.  If you're man enough to say "I do" at least be man enough to say "I give up".


As in, "I give up half of everything I own" is that what you mean? Alimony? Child support? Your 401(k)? Airline miles? Any small business? Poor Paul McCartney.
 
2013-03-04 12:59:59 AM

sethen320: TwistedFark: I cheated on my wife with about 5 different women over a year ago (a period of about 3 months).

I can't speak for every other philandering husband out there, but at the end of the day it came down to the fact that my wife and I were having relatively uninspired sex once a month and we had no way to talk about it or what to do about it.

In my particular case, the communication bit was really the key (I know this is trite and overdone, but whatever). I could not tell my wife in any explicit terms that I needed to get more sex from her because doing so would be admitting that I had a need she could fufil and thereby potentially reject. My personality is one such that the possibility of rejection and the vulnerability that comes with it is not something that I readily cope with - in fact I organise all my relationships and commitments around being the one in the position of power to reject other people - hence why it was easier for me to go out and bed other women in pursuit than to talk plainly to my wife about the issue.

TL;DR - We talked it out. We have a lot more (interesting) sex. We're both a lot happier actually. Wife actually almost came out and said the other day that she thought the infidelity was a good thing, at least from the perspective that our marriage was doomed at the time anyway.

So you labeled your condition and now you feel better, with it being clinical and all?


Well, my wife and I have both matured enough to be able to overcome our own inherent fears of communication to be open and vulnerable with each other. I don't actually see what's all clinical about this, it's more like - "I do X because I feel like Y, but that's not really what I want." and then growing up enough to get past it.
 
2013-03-04 01:18:29 AM

vice_magnet: sethen320: elvisaintdead: OK, here's one -
is it really cheating if, in a 25 year marriage, hubby and wife haven't even slept in the same room, much less bed for almost 7 years, much less less actually wiggled naughtily and are only even housemates at this point because of the 16 and 9 yr old kids?

and no, I've never been married.

Yep.  If you're man enough to say "I do" at least be man enough to say "I give up".

As in, "I give up half of everything I own" is that what you mean? Alimony? Child support? Your 401(k)? Airline miles? Any small business? Poor Paul McCartney.


There are quite a few men who carry a chip on their shoulder for the rest of their life over that, but there seem to be even more who call it the best money they ever spent. It's all about perspective.
 
2013-03-04 03:06:40 AM
I have no idea what a mistress may look like, and none of you farkers is any help.
 
2013-03-04 03:51:49 AM

elvisaintdead: OK, here's one -
is it really cheating if, in a 25 year marriage, hubby and wife haven't even slept in the same room, much less bed for almost 7 years, much less less actually wiggled naughtily and are only even housemates at this point because of the 16 and 9 yr old kids?

and no, I've never been married.


That's a depressing scenario
 
2013-03-04 09:54:22 AM

Grave_Girl: Because, of course infidelity is always the wife's fault, amirite?

Being a wife, I know a lot of wives, and I can tell you that most wives who don't put out don't because their husbands are assholes.  Yeah, there's probably a vicious circle of jerk behavior coming from both spouses, but if one of 'em decides the desire to get farked outweighs his promise to the other person, I'm going to guess things are weighted a little heavily in that direction.

Yes, I've been cheated on.  Ex claimed I wanted to have sex too often. I am not making that up, even though it sounds ridiculously stupid.  He also thought the neighborhood skank he cheated with really meant it when she swore she loved him and not the other ten guys she was farking. Boy wasn't too swift.


It is most certainly not always the wife's fault at all, I agree with you. I have known married guys who were such narcissists and who cheated just for the power and control of it.
 
2013-03-04 09:56:46 AM

TwistedFark: sethen320: TwistedFark: I cheated on my wife with about 5 different women over a year ago (a period of about 3 months).

I can't speak for every other philandering husband out there, but at the end of the day it came down to the fact that my wife and I were having relatively uninspired sex once a month and we had no way to talk about it or what to do about it.

In my particular case, the communication bit was really the key (I know this is trite and overdone, but whatever). I could not tell my wife in any explicit terms that I needed to get more sex from her because doing so would be admitting that I had a need she could fufil and thereby potentially reject. My personality is one such that the possibility of rejection and the vulnerability that comes with it is not something that I readily cope with - in fact I organise all my relationships and commitments around being the one in the position of power to reject other people - hence why it was easier for me to go out and bed other women in pursuit than to talk plainly to my wife about the issue.

TL;DR - We talked it out. We have a lot more (interesting) sex. We're both a lot happier actually. Wife actually almost came out and said the other day that she thought the infidelity was a good thing, at least from the perspective that our marriage was doomed at the time anyway.

So you labeled your condition and now you feel better, with it being clinical and all?

Well, my wife and I have both matured enough to be able to overcome our own inherent fears of communication to be open and vulnerable with each other. I don't actually see what's all clinical about this, it's more like - "I do X because I feel like Y, but that's not really what I want." and then growing up enough to get past it.


I think it's terrific that you two took the time and energy to make it all work. I believe that the mutual ability to communicate with respect and authenticity is deeply gratifying and cements a strong bond.
 
2013-03-04 10:44:28 AM
still doesn't change the fact that, for many guys, there ain't no pu**y like new pu**y. don't matter the risk, some guys are just stupid like that
 
2013-03-04 10:51:36 AM

ArcadianRefugee: Sarah Symonds is famous for having a seven-year affair with Hell's Kitchen star Gordon Ramsay.

I weep for humanity.


Seriously.  "YOU CALL THAT A BLOWJOB!  I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE STUCK IT IN A LUBED-UP SAUSAGE CASING!  COME ON!"
 
2013-03-04 01:27:40 PM
I, too, have a different definition of that word.
 
2013-03-04 02:38:58 PM

Grave_Girl: Because, of course infidelity is always the wife's fault, amirite?

Being a wife, I know a lot of wives, and I can tell you that most wives who don't put out don't because their husbands are assholes.  Yeah, there's probably a vicious circle of jerk behavior coming from both spouses, but if one of 'em decides the desire to get farked outweighs his promise to the other person, I'm going to guess things are weighted a little heavily in that direction.

Yes, I've been cheated on.  Ex claimed I wanted to have sex too often. I am not making that up, even though it sounds ridiculously stupid.  He also thought the neighborhood skank he cheated with really meant it when she swore she loved him and not the other ten guys she was farking. Boy wasn't too swift.


Maybe you should have had him IQ tested before you married him

I'd bet money his dad pulled a similar stuint
 
2013-03-04 03:05:20 PM

unyon: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: "Men are simple," 43-year-old Symonds tells the Daily Mail. "It's Eat. Sleep. Fornicate."

biatch does not have a clue. We like to drink beer also.

Triage of male decision making:  Can I kill it?  Can I fark it?  Can I eat it?


And in what order?
 
2013-03-04 03:24:11 PM

The Snow Dog: I'll be a misterer if need be.


He won't leave his wife for you.
 
2013-03-04 05:10:36 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: "Men are simple," 43-year-old Symonds tells the Daily Mail. "It's Eat. Sleep. Fornicate."

biatch does not have a clue. We like to drink beer also.

and play Urban Terror 4.1.


FTFY
 
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