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(KPopStarz)   It is once again safe to celebrate Easter, the most holy of Christian holidays, by stuffing your piehole with tasty chocolate covered marshmallow eggs   (kpopstarz.com) divider line 68
    More: Followup, Easter, liturgical year, chocolate covered marshmallow eggs, salmonella, consumption, safe, chocolates  
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2590 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Mar 2013 at 1:15 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-03 11:20:13 AM
Chocolate covered marshmallow eggs? That sounds... just... awful
 
2013-03-03 11:26:02 AM
Everyone knows the real way to celebrate the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior is not with chocolate covered marshmallow eggs but with Peeps.  Duh!

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-03 11:32:20 AM
I spend my Easters the traditional way...at the peeps show!

www.neatorama.com
 
2013-03-03 11:37:21 AM
Thou shalt not blaspheme

For the peanut butter / choc eggs are truly the lord's chosen
 
2013-03-03 11:40:22 AM

MurphyMurphy: Thou shalt not blaspheme

For the peanut butter / choc eggs are truly the lord's chosen


Amen
 
2013-03-03 11:43:44 AM
Start on Good Friday and three days later your blood sugar will rise permanently

/say hello to Mr. Brimley
 
2013-03-03 12:52:19 PM
We're going to have 120 kids searching for 200,000 candy and toy filled plastic eggs again.  Seriously, the eggs just came in.  Two pallets stacked 7 feet high with boxes of plastic eggs.  What a waste.
 
2013-03-03 01:18:33 PM
I thought Obama won the War on Easter.
 
2013-03-03 01:19:33 PM
Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?
 
2013-03-03 01:20:10 PM
Loves me some chocolate covered mallows, also choco/peanut butter eggs, but Cadbury cream eggs are Satan's testicles.
 
2013-03-03 01:21:43 PM

Bastard Toadflax: I thought Obama won the War on Easter.


He managed to transform Easter into a pagan fertility holiday, complete with bunnies farking like, uh, rabbits, and the products of their unholy unions, eggs.
 
2013-03-03 01:23:13 PM

hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?


Lets ask the Easter Kangaroo

static.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-03 01:24:22 PM

hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?


Not exactly a Xtian, but rabbits are mammals.  So if they're laying eggs, it's a miracle, like Raptorjesus.
rlv.zcache.com
 
2013-03-03 01:24:52 PM
Cadberry creme eggs are still pure poison however. I'm getting a headache just thinking about biting into one of those fondant bombs.
 
2013-03-03 01:28:49 PM
Wow, seems like the first full moon following the March equinox gets here faster every year. Praise Ēostre.
 
2013-03-03 01:28:53 PM
Keep your marshmallows. I'll take Cadbury cream eggs.
 
2013-03-03 01:29:14 PM
I prefer to put the Peeps up my ass before I bless them. I find it is easier for everyone, regardless of their faith.
 
2013-03-03 01:30:37 PM
Cadbury's Cream Eggs for the win. The inside may be a sugary, sticky hell, but the outside is real chocolate, unlike the shiat sold in WalMart's candy corn syrup aisle. So there's that going for them.
 
2013-03-03 01:32:31 PM
Because they know the truth behind Easter!

images.tvrage.com
 
2013-03-03 01:33:05 PM

Bastard Toadflax: I thought Obama won the War on Easter.


He's black, though.
 
2013-03-03 01:36:34 PM
Fun Fact: Zombie Jesus likes it when you smoke pot on Easter for two reasons

1. It makes you easier to catch

and

2. He gets a contact high when he eats your BRAINSSSSS!
 
2013-03-03 01:41:13 PM

Man On A Mission: Everyone knows the real way to celebrate the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior is not with chocolate covered marshmallow eggs but with Peeps.  Duh!

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 500x287]


Far better to use Peeps as art supplies than to mistake them for food.
 
2013-03-03 01:42:46 PM
I like the Reese's cups shaped like eggs. Those things are addictive.
 
2013-03-03 01:50:05 PM

hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?


Nah. A lot of the way modern religions of all kinds - but especially Christianity - are practiced are actually just combinations of the older faith of a region or regions with a touch of "we did it first!!!" whargarble thrown in by those ignorant enough to not realize the Pagan and Heathen origins of many of the aspects of the Christian practices.

You gotta admit, short of forced Christianization, which proved somewhat effective in a few areas, tearing down the old temples and building a new one in the same place and celebrating the same way the Heathens and Pagans did while changing a few of the names around and the whole why of the celebration is a great way to get new adherents to that faith. They're just not very good new adherents as they're still performing the old rites and are basically just, as a friend of mine loves to say, "highly Paganized Jews". Ouch.

/NTTAWWT
 
2013-03-03 01:50:23 PM
Now would be the time for someone to post a link to a site that tells us how Easter was originally a pagan rite dedicated to sex with rabbits, eating live baby chicks, and a huge orgy where people all covered themselves in chocolate and had sex in a big wicker basket....
 
2013-03-03 01:50:25 PM
Can we have a war on Easter too?
 
2013-03-03 01:54:52 PM

DubyaHater: Cadberry creme eggs are still pure poison however. I'm getting a headache just thinking about biting into one of those fondant bombs.


You shut your lying mouth right now.
 
2013-03-03 01:57:19 PM

Uncle Tractor: Can we have a war on Easter too?


Funny how Easter is the holier of celebrations over Christmas and yet doesnt get even 1% of the outraged 'We are oppressed' cries like Christmas gets.

Actually....why is there more religious outrage during Christmas and not easter?
 
2013-03-03 02:01:31 PM
No. Ben Gay Zee is the scandal. Get your forced christianization out of here. Or, dunk it in chocolate. Then, maybe, we'll talk.
 
2013-03-03 02:02:02 PM
Actually since caffeine is an antibacterial you'd think the risk would be pretty low. And do these things even contain eggs?
 
2013-03-03 02:09:17 PM

SpdrJay: Now would be the time for someone to post a link to a site that tells us how Easter was originally a pagan rite dedicated to sex with rabbits, eating live baby chicks, and a huge orgy where people all covered themselves in chocolate and had sex in a big wicker basket....


Ah hell, we call that Tuesday where I'm from.

My favorites in no particular order
Choc covered marshmallow eggs
Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs
Cadbury Caramel Eggs
Cella's Dark Chocolate Covered Cherries
Peeps

Anything else is just garbage
 
2013-03-03 02:10:25 PM

NeverDrunk23: Uncle Tractor: Can we have a war on Easter too?

Funny how Easter is the holier of celebrations over Christmas and yet doesnt get even 1% of the outraged 'We are oppressed' cries like Christmas gets.

Actually....why is there more religious outrage during Christmas and not easter?


Because at Easter, you don't have to buy your pissed-off wife a new Lexus. You only have to hide your assets from the kids.
 
2013-03-03 02:10:31 PM

hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?


Not a Xian, but I'd venture that similar to Xmas, Easter traditions were appropriated from existing Pagan traditions surrounding the spring equinox.
 
2013-03-03 02:10:44 PM
candyaddict.com
The only Easter Candy that matters
 
2013-03-03 02:15:32 PM

Real Women Drink Akvavit: hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?

Nah. A lot of the way modern religions of all kinds - but especially Christianity - are practiced are actually just combinations of the older faith of a region or regions with a touch of "we did it first!!!" whargarble thrown in by those ignorant enough to not realize the Pagan and Heathen origins of many of the aspects of the Christian practices.

You gotta admit, short of forced Christianization, which proved somewhat effective in a few areas, tearing down the old temples and building a new one in the same place and celebrating the same way the Heathens and Pagans did while changing a few of the names around and the whole why of the celebration is a great way to get new adherents to that faith. They're just not very good new adherents as they're still performing the old rites and are basically just, as a friend of mine loves to say, "highly Paganized Jews". Ouch.

/NTTAWWT


The Catholics were the masters of this. Take a look around the Caribbean, Africa and Latin America for the better examples
 
2013-03-03 02:20:03 PM

gweilo8888: Cadbury's Cream Eggs for the win. The inside may be a sugary, sticky hell, but the outside is real chocolate, unlike the shiat sold in WalMart's candy corn syrup aisle. So there's that going for them.


Oddly, I preferred the ones from the New Zealand factory, when the filling was more like splooge than cake frosting.
 
2013-03-03 02:21:12 PM

NeverDrunk23: Uncle Tractor: Can we have a war on Easter too?

Funny how Easter is the holier of celebrations over Christmas and yet doesnt get even 1% of the outraged 'We are oppressed' cries like Christmas gets.

Actually....why is there more religious outrage during Christmas and not easter?



If you try hard enough I am pretty sure you will find what you are looking for
 
2013-03-03 02:21:33 PM
Dear Subby,

Is it too much to ask that you tell us of autoplay videos with loud music?
 
2013-03-03 02:30:20 PM

robohobo: Loves me some chocolate covered mallows, also choco/peanut butter eggs, but Cadbury cream eggs are Satan's testicles.


Nogale: Keep your marshmallows. I'll take Cadbury cream eggs.


LLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!
 
2013-03-03 02:42:14 PM
randomstory.org
approves....
 
2013-03-03 02:43:14 PM
But can we have Kinder Eggs? No, we can't. Because America is stupid.
 
2013-03-03 02:45:10 PM
Oh wow, I forgot about the chocolate-covered marshmallow eggs. Those are so tasty.

Cadbury eggs, however, are sublime. I have thus far managed to escape their lustful gazes while in the store, but I do not know how much longer I can hold out.
 
2013-03-03 02:46:03 PM
Anyone else feel that this article has some odd grammar?
 
2013-03-03 02:51:38 PM

Anastacya: Oh wow, I forgot about the chocolate-covered marshmallow eggs. Those are so tasty.

Cadbury eggs, however, are sublime. I have thus far managed to escape their lustful gazes while in the store, but I do not know how much longer I can hold out.


I'm gonna go full on Chubby-American and deep fry some of those Cadbury sugar bombs Eggs this year. You know, for Jesus. He looks rather thin in all his pics, so I'm being helpful and stuff.

/OK, they're actually for me
//I'll share if dude shows up at my place, though
 
2013-03-03 03:00:29 PM

Real Women Drink Akvavit: Anastacya: Oh wow, I forgot about the chocolate-covered marshmallow eggs. Those are so tasty.

Cadbury eggs, however, are sublime. I have thus far managed to escape their lustful gazes while in the store, but I do not know how much longer I can hold out.

I'm gonna go full on Chubby-American and deep fry some of those Cadbury sugar bombs Eggs this year. You know, for Jesus. He looks rather thin in all his pics, so I'm being helpful and stuff.

/OK, they're actually for me
//I'll share if dude shows up at my place, though


I read your sentence "deep fried Cadbury Eggs" and I think I had an orgasm. Suddenly the thought of sweet-dough battered, deep-fried Cadbury Eggs are all that I can think about.

/must go and work on dinner
 
2013-03-03 03:07:09 PM
All of you with the chocolate covered marshmallow and peanut butter chocolate and cadbury and what-not eggs are sadly deluded little people. Malted eggs or nothing!!!
 
2013-03-03 03:07:30 PM
Am I in before the whole tray of peeps going inthe microwave from SP
 
2013-03-03 03:09:20 PM

Nogale: Keep your marshmallows. I'll take Cadbury cream eggs.


fyi, re Cadbury's Cream Eggs - some (maybe all?) now made in China

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/artic le-1063950/Cadbury-recall-chocolate-Ch ina-fears-contain-contaminated-m ilk.html

/there are also Chinese-made M&Ms, Snickers, and Oreo s
//read that article... happy snacking
 
2013-03-03 03:31:34 PM
historiasdeljuglar.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-03 03:51:15 PM

hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?


Jesus was a rabbi and was very strict about maintaining a healthy diet.  He was often more strict about dietary laws than his followers appreciated.  He was particularly in favor of a low cholesterol diet.

Of course, after the crucifixion, his followers lapsed back into their high cholesterol diet.  But on Easter morning, as the disciples were gathered together to pray, suddenly Peter rushed into the room and shouted "Jesus is back, quick, hide the eggs!" and the rest is history
 
2013-03-03 03:52:33 PM

LarryDan43: Wow, seems like the first full moon following the March equinox gets here faster every year. Praise Ēostre.


I saw what you did there.  The rest of them got distracted by candy.
Ooh, candy, I like Papa's Opera Cream Eggs myself.
 
2013-03-03 04:00:01 PM

nanim: Nogale: Keep your marshmallows. I'll take Cadbury cream eggs.

fyi, re Cadbury's Cream Eggs - some (maybe all?) now made in China

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1063950/Cadbury-recall-chocol a te-China-fears-contain-contaminated-milk.html

/there are also Chinese-made M&Ms, Snickers, and Oreo s
//read that article... happy snacking


So, instead of having to worry about salmonella in the eggs, we have to worry about lead levels.
 
2013-03-03 04:19:15 PM

SpdrJay: Now would be the time for someone to post a link to a site that tells us how Easter was originally a pagan rite dedicated to sex with rabbits, eating live baby chicks, and a huge orgy where people all covered themselves in chocolate and had sex in a big wicker basket....


culture.pagannewswirecollective.com

/Summer is a comin in
 
2013-03-03 04:25:13 PM

Bastard Toadflax: I thought Obama won the War on Easter.


He did.  We all grew up with Easter being the most important holiday, as we all went to church to celebrate the gift and compassion of life ever lasting.  But farking Obama got his hands on a time machine which uses temporal displacement technology, so there weren't even an timequakes for us to remember and now it's all peep dioramas and candy.  The universe used to be this warm and loving place where the light of our Lord illuminated our paths as His Grace sheltered us.  Now, we worship Santa Coke as we practice pagan tree rituals instead of giving thanks for our Lord's gift of his only son to redeem our sins and show us the way, the truth and the light and we don't even do it during the right time of year.
 
2013-03-03 05:04:21 PM

NeverDrunk23: Uncle Tractor: Can we have a war on Easter too?

Funny how Easter is the holier of celebrations over Christmas and yet doesnt get even 1% of the outraged 'We are oppressed' cries like Christmas gets.

Actually....why is there more religious outrage during Christmas and not easter?



Because other religions are jealous they don't get presents.
 
2013-03-03 05:35:33 PM

WeenerGord: NeverDrunk23: Uncle Tractor: Can we have a war on Easter too?

Funny how Easter is the holier of celebrations over Christmas and yet doesnt get even 1% of the outraged 'We are oppressed' cries like Christmas gets.

Actually....why is there more religious outrage during Christmas and not easter?


Because other religions are jealous they don't get presents.


As a card carryin' Nordic/Germanic-type Heathen, I get gifts every day for twelve whole days! Admit it. Those other religions just suck.

/actually we don't carry cards
//most of us just wear Thor's Hammer amulets
///'cuz we're stealthy that way
*hides back in the heath*
PS - the resurrection allegedly happened around the time of passover (the last supper was a Seder), so using the Judaic calendar there is more historical evidence they are celebrating during the appropriate time than there ever was for Yule. Because of this, people don't use Pagans and Heathens and our observations as an excuse to yell "Hey, dumbfark! You're celebrating with Pagan and Heathen rites, so do it RIGHT!" at them. There's really nothing to get all spaztastic about, in other words.

That's MY theory, anyway.
 
2013-03-03 06:11:59 PM
Because what could possibly say "Jesus Christ Risen from the tomb for the salvation of Mankind" better than chocolate covered marshmallows?

I know I don't want to go to a Heaven that doesn't have chocolate ...
 
2013-03-03 06:53:06 PM
How can we possibly have Easter when there's no Pope to bless the chocolate eggs?
 
2013-03-03 07:39:13 PM
Dear Cadbury,

I am writing to inform you of some information that you find interesting about your products.  I have 2 rabbits and although they leave a lot of little 'eggs' around, after a taste test I can assure you that they are not chocolatly good.  I recommend you enhance your Quality Control by actually sampling the 'bunny eggs'.

Sincerely,
hutchkc
 
2013-03-03 07:40:59 PM

FloydA: hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?

Jesus was a rabbi and was very strict about maintaining a healthy diet.  He was often more strict about dietary laws than his followers appreciated.  He was particularly in favor of a low cholesterol diet.

Of course, after the crucifixion, his followers lapsed back into their high cholesterol diet.  But on Easter morning, as the disciples were gathered together to pray, suddenly Peter rushed into the room and shouted "Jesus is back, quick, hide the eggs!" and the rest is history


OK I'm working in an automotive factory and that made me laugh loud enough for other people to look at me funny
 
2013-03-03 07:54:17 PM

FloydA: hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?

Jesus was a rabbi and was very strict about maintaining a healthy diet.  He was often more strict about dietary laws than his followers appreciated.  He was particularly in favor of a low cholesterol diet.

Of course, after the crucifixion, his followers lapsed back into their high cholesterol diet.  But on Easter morning, as the disciples were gathered together to pray, suddenly Peter rushed into the room and shouted "Jesus is back, quick, hide the eggs!" and the rest is history


I thought we ate the chocolate eggs because of the color of the chocolate and the color of the wood on the cross...

/and the bunny rabbits were like "Look, are you gonna stick those crosses in our warrens? We live beneath this hill"
 
2013-03-04 04:15:51 AM

Morgellons: hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?

Not a Xian, but I'd venture that similar to Xmas, Easter traditions were appropriated from existing Pagan traditions surrounding the spring equinox.


Easter, like Christmas, is a pagan holiday with a christian veneer. Even the name is pagan. Eggs, chickens, and rabbits are all roman fertility symbols.
 
2013-03-04 01:42:22 PM
Mary Sue Chocolate Butter Cream eggs will defeat all comers! They are the best !
 
2013-03-04 02:07:08 PM

Uncle Tractor: Morgellons: hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?

Not a Xian, but I'd venture that similar to Xmas, Easter traditions were appropriated from existing Pagan traditions surrounding the spring equinox.

Easter, like Christmas, is a pagan holiday with a christian veneer. Even the name is pagan. Eggs, chickens, and rabbits are all roman fertility symbols.



If people today lived in a world where child mortality was what it used to be, they might understand the interest in fertility symbols.

People of all ages used to drop like flies before modern medicine. If half the children in your village died one year, you'd pray for births next year, too. Otherwise, who is going to help you bring in the crops and fight off bandits?
 
2013-03-04 02:17:42 PM

WeenerGord: People of all ages used to drop like flies before modern medicine. If half the children in your village died one year, you'd pray for births next year, too. Otherwise, who is going to help you bring in the crops and fight off bandits?


See. I know this is a lie. FARK tells me that people lived hundreds of years before modern medicine and public health spoiled that.
 
2013-03-04 02:46:04 PM

WeenerGord: Uncle Tractor: Morgellons: hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?

Not a Xian, but I'd venture that similar to Xmas, Easter traditions were appropriated from existing Pagan traditions surrounding the spring equinox.

Easter, like Christmas, is a pagan holiday with a christian veneer. Even the name is pagan. Eggs, chickens, and rabbits are all roman fertility symbols.


If people today lived in a world where child mortality was what it used to be, they might understand the interest in fertility symbols.

People of all ages used to drop like flies before modern medicine. If half the children in your village died one year, you'd pray for births next year, too. Otherwise, who is going to help you bring in the crops and fight off bandits?



I don't know, man.  Making babies work in the fields and fight bandits seems a bit harsh.
 
2013-03-04 07:54:36 PM

FloydA: I don't know, man.  Making babies work in the fields and fight bandits seems a bit harsh.



I knew I should have said "grow up to" but figured it was obvious...but if I had, we'd have all missed out on your funny visual.
 
2013-03-05 12:46:43 PM
"Jellybean of Christ...Jellybean of Christ...Jellybean of Christ..."

Christopher Titus FTW
 
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