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(KPopStarz)   It is once again safe to celebrate Easter, the most holy of Christian holidays, by stuffing your piehole with tasty chocolate covered marshmallow eggs   (kpopstarz.com) divider line 68
    More: Followup, Easter, liturgical year, chocolate covered marshmallow eggs, salmonella, consumption, safe, chocolates  
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2590 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Mar 2013 at 1:15 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-03 03:52:33 PM

LarryDan43: Wow, seems like the first full moon following the March equinox gets here faster every year. Praise Ēostre.


I saw what you did there.  The rest of them got distracted by candy.
Ooh, candy, I like Papa's Opera Cream Eggs myself.
 
2013-03-03 04:00:01 PM

nanim: Nogale: Keep your marshmallows. I'll take Cadbury cream eggs.

fyi, re Cadbury's Cream Eggs - some (maybe all?) now made in China

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1063950/Cadbury-recall-chocol a te-China-fears-contain-contaminated-milk.html

/there are also Chinese-made M&Ms, Snickers, and Oreo s
//read that article... happy snacking


So, instead of having to worry about salmonella in the eggs, we have to worry about lead levels.
 
2013-03-03 04:19:15 PM

SpdrJay: Now would be the time for someone to post a link to a site that tells us how Easter was originally a pagan rite dedicated to sex with rabbits, eating live baby chicks, and a huge orgy where people all covered themselves in chocolate and had sex in a big wicker basket....


culture.pagannewswirecollective.com

/Summer is a comin in
 
2013-03-03 04:25:13 PM

Bastard Toadflax: I thought Obama won the War on Easter.


He did.  We all grew up with Easter being the most important holiday, as we all went to church to celebrate the gift and compassion of life ever lasting.  But farking Obama got his hands on a time machine which uses temporal displacement technology, so there weren't even an timequakes for us to remember and now it's all peep dioramas and candy.  The universe used to be this warm and loving place where the light of our Lord illuminated our paths as His Grace sheltered us.  Now, we worship Santa Coke as we practice pagan tree rituals instead of giving thanks for our Lord's gift of his only son to redeem our sins and show us the way, the truth and the light and we don't even do it during the right time of year.
 
2013-03-03 05:04:21 PM

NeverDrunk23: Uncle Tractor: Can we have a war on Easter too?

Funny how Easter is the holier of celebrations over Christmas and yet doesnt get even 1% of the outraged 'We are oppressed' cries like Christmas gets.

Actually....why is there more religious outrage during Christmas and not easter?



Because other religions are jealous they don't get presents.
 
2013-03-03 05:35:33 PM

WeenerGord: NeverDrunk23: Uncle Tractor: Can we have a war on Easter too?

Funny how Easter is the holier of celebrations over Christmas and yet doesnt get even 1% of the outraged 'We are oppressed' cries like Christmas gets.

Actually....why is there more religious outrage during Christmas and not easter?


Because other religions are jealous they don't get presents.


As a card carryin' Nordic/Germanic-type Heathen, I get gifts every day for twelve whole days! Admit it. Those other religions just suck.

/actually we don't carry cards
//most of us just wear Thor's Hammer amulets
///'cuz we're stealthy that way
*hides back in the heath*
PS - the resurrection allegedly happened around the time of passover (the last supper was a Seder), so using the Judaic calendar there is more historical evidence they are celebrating during the appropriate time than there ever was for Yule. Because of this, people don't use Pagans and Heathens and our observations as an excuse to yell "Hey, dumbfark! You're celebrating with Pagan and Heathen rites, so do it RIGHT!" at them. There's really nothing to get all spaztastic about, in other words.

That's MY theory, anyway.
 
2013-03-03 06:11:59 PM
Because what could possibly say "Jesus Christ Risen from the tomb for the salvation of Mankind" better than chocolate covered marshmallows?

I know I don't want to go to a Heaven that doesn't have chocolate ...
 
2013-03-03 06:53:06 PM
How can we possibly have Easter when there's no Pope to bless the chocolate eggs?
 
2013-03-03 07:39:13 PM
Dear Cadbury,

I am writing to inform you of some information that you find interesting about your products.  I have 2 rabbits and although they leave a lot of little 'eggs' around, after a taste test I can assure you that they are not chocolatly good.  I recommend you enhance your Quality Control by actually sampling the 'bunny eggs'.

Sincerely,
hutchkc
 
2013-03-03 07:40:59 PM

FloydA: hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?

Jesus was a rabbi and was very strict about maintaining a healthy diet.  He was often more strict about dietary laws than his followers appreciated.  He was particularly in favor of a low cholesterol diet.

Of course, after the crucifixion, his followers lapsed back into their high cholesterol diet.  But on Easter morning, as the disciples were gathered together to pray, suddenly Peter rushed into the room and shouted "Jesus is back, quick, hide the eggs!" and the rest is history


OK I'm working in an automotive factory and that made me laugh loud enough for other people to look at me funny
 
2013-03-03 07:54:17 PM

FloydA: hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?

Jesus was a rabbi and was very strict about maintaining a healthy diet.  He was often more strict about dietary laws than his followers appreciated.  He was particularly in favor of a low cholesterol diet.

Of course, after the crucifixion, his followers lapsed back into their high cholesterol diet.  But on Easter morning, as the disciples were gathered together to pray, suddenly Peter rushed into the room and shouted "Jesus is back, quick, hide the eggs!" and the rest is history


I thought we ate the chocolate eggs because of the color of the chocolate and the color of the wood on the cross...

/and the bunny rabbits were like "Look, are you gonna stick those crosses in our warrens? We live beneath this hill"
 
2013-03-04 04:15:51 AM

Morgellons: hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?

Not a Xian, but I'd venture that similar to Xmas, Easter traditions were appropriated from existing Pagan traditions surrounding the spring equinox.


Easter, like Christmas, is a pagan holiday with a christian veneer. Even the name is pagan. Eggs, chickens, and rabbits are all roman fertility symbols.
 
2013-03-04 01:42:22 PM
Mary Sue Chocolate Butter Cream eggs will defeat all comers! They are the best !
 
2013-03-04 02:07:08 PM

Uncle Tractor: Morgellons: hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?

Not a Xian, but I'd venture that similar to Xmas, Easter traditions were appropriated from existing Pagan traditions surrounding the spring equinox.

Easter, like Christmas, is a pagan holiday with a christian veneer. Even the name is pagan. Eggs, chickens, and rabbits are all roman fertility symbols.



If people today lived in a world where child mortality was what it used to be, they might understand the interest in fertility symbols.

People of all ages used to drop like flies before modern medicine. If half the children in your village died one year, you'd pray for births next year, too. Otherwise, who is going to help you bring in the crops and fight off bandits?
 
2013-03-04 02:17:42 PM

WeenerGord: People of all ages used to drop like flies before modern medicine. If half the children in your village died one year, you'd pray for births next year, too. Otherwise, who is going to help you bring in the crops and fight off bandits?


See. I know this is a lie. FARK tells me that people lived hundreds of years before modern medicine and public health spoiled that.
 
2013-03-04 02:46:04 PM

WeenerGord: Uncle Tractor: Morgellons: hardinparamedic: Would someone who's Christian be kind enough to explain to me what rabbits laying eggs have to do with the Christian Faith, and the Resurrection of Christ?

Is this a subtle self-jab?

Not a Xian, but I'd venture that similar to Xmas, Easter traditions were appropriated from existing Pagan traditions surrounding the spring equinox.

Easter, like Christmas, is a pagan holiday with a christian veneer. Even the name is pagan. Eggs, chickens, and rabbits are all roman fertility symbols.


If people today lived in a world where child mortality was what it used to be, they might understand the interest in fertility symbols.

People of all ages used to drop like flies before modern medicine. If half the children in your village died one year, you'd pray for births next year, too. Otherwise, who is going to help you bring in the crops and fight off bandits?



I don't know, man.  Making babies work in the fields and fight bandits seems a bit harsh.
 
2013-03-04 07:54:36 PM

FloydA: I don't know, man.  Making babies work in the fields and fight bandits seems a bit harsh.



I knew I should have said "grow up to" but figured it was obvious...but if I had, we'd have all missed out on your funny visual.
 
2013-03-05 12:46:43 PM
"Jellybean of Christ...Jellybean of Christ...Jellybean of Christ..."

Christopher Titus FTW
 
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