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(Daily Mail)   Charlie Sheen wants to mentor Lindsay Lohan. And by "mentor", he means do rails of coke off her ass   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 36
    More: Silly, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Jay Leno, Vivien Leigh, trials  
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2862 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Mar 2013 at 2:09 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-03-03 11:04:59 AM  
cdn.bleacherreport.net
Ummmm, how about no?

Even Sheen has SOME limits.
 
2013-03-03 12:01:44 PM  
Remember, she's not eligible for Club 27 until July 2nd. Some might say she's really not eligible until she shows some serious talent, but I'll let that pass.
 
2013-03-03 12:54:30 PM  
He should, freebasing is hard until you get the hang of it and Chuck can show her the ropes.
 
2013-03-03 02:20:33 PM  
For some reason I am picturing an outcome similar to the Friends episode where Ross calls Joey because he can't get his leather pants on and Joey just keeps making shiat up until Ross is essentially locked in a bathroom covered in a gooey concoction with a pair of leather pants around his ankles. This is what I picture, but what the hell it can't hurt, right?
 
2013-03-03 02:35:33 PM  
Assuming she could pass an entire fleet of STD tests (slim chance, I know), that makes two of us.
 
2013-03-03 02:42:33 PM  
Career prediction for Lindsay Lohan, circa 2015. One of two things will happen:

1. Absolutely no funds left in the coffers so she signs on for a sitcom. It will be titled "Lindsay." She will be a single mom and a high-powered lawyer with a precocious, wise-cracking daughter. It will last two episodes.
2. Absolutely no funds left in the coffers so she signs on for a sitcom. It will be titled "Lindsay." She will be a single mom and a struggling waitress with a precocious, wise-cracking son. It will last two episodes.

2016: QVC.
 
2013-03-03 02:53:07 PM  

Wadded Beef: Career prediction for Lindsay Lohan, circa 2015. One of two things will happen:

1. Absolutely no funds left in the coffers so she signs on for a sitcom. It will be titled "Lindsay." She will be a single mom and a high-powered lawyer with a precocious, wise-cracking daughter. It will last two episodes.
2. Absolutely no funds left in the coffers so she signs on for a sitcom. It will be titled "Lindsay." She will be a single mom and a struggling waitress with a precocious, wise-cracking son. It will last two episodes.

2016: QVC.


3. Absolutely no funds left in the coffers so she signs on for a sitcom. It will be titled "Lindsay." It wlll be set 20 years in the future. She will be an orphan who, as a toddler, had a waitress mom who sold her to a high powered lawyer who really wanted a precocious, wise-cracking son. So the lawyer disowned her, ditched the idea of being a mom altogether and bought a Porche. Now "Lindsay" is a stripper who is dancing on the weekends while she is studying to be a lawyer so she can represent other strippers looking for a better life.
 
2013-03-03 03:09:01 PM  
I'm with Charlie.
 
2013-03-03 03:09:21 PM  
The idea does have some merit. Sheen has snorted, drank, and whored across Hollywood while managing to star in three highly-rated sitcoms and a number of very successful B-level movies. Lohan has also snorted, drank, and whored herself across Hollywood but she can't seem to find the same level of success that Sheen has and at this rate it seems unlikely she'll even make it to 27 much less to Sheen's 47.
 
2013-03-03 03:12:40 PM  
I would, as long as there were no open sores.
 
2013-03-03 03:20:26 PM  

Arthur Jumbles: The idea does have some merit. Sheen has snorted, drank, and whored across Hollywood while managing to star in three highly-rated sitcoms and a number of very successful B-level movies. Lohan has also snorted, drank, and whored herself across Hollywood but she can't seem to find the same level of success that Sheen has and at this rate it seems unlikely she'll even make it to 27 much less to Sheen's 47.


The public is generally more turned off by a woman engaging in such behavior than by a man doing the same thing. During Sheen's public meltdown in 2011, Internet fanbois were practically jacking him off. Meanwhile, every time Lohan has a failure, there's a collective cheer from the peanut gallery, filled with cries of "Skank!", "Dirty whore!", etc. Granted, Charlie's a lot smarter than broads like Lohan and Paris Hilton, so that helps explain his appeal. Try to imagine a Paris Hilton type that can string together a sentence like Charlie Sheen. Nope, I can't picture it either.
 
2013-03-03 03:25:54 PM  
The SithLord needs an apprentice.
 
2013-03-03 03:49:02 PM  
What advice could Sheen possibly give her?  He is every bit the screw up she is.  He survives in Hollywood (and why she will not) because he produces on the one metric that matters - ratings.
 
2013-03-03 03:51:40 PM  

Pumpernickel bread: What advice could Sheen possibly give her?  He is every bit the screw up she is.  He survives in Hollywood (and why she will not) because he produces on the one metric that matters - ratings.


So he'll be her acting coach....
 
2013-03-03 03:54:43 PM  
Next: George Clooney to open & operate a medical clinic based on his experience in "E.R."
 
2013-03-03 03:57:37 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Arthur Jumbles: The idea does have some merit. Sheen has snorted, drank, and whored across Hollywood while managing to star in three highly-rated sitcoms and a number of very successful B-level movies. Lohan has also snorted, drank, and whored herself across Hollywood but she can't seem to find the same level of success that Sheen has and at this rate it seems unlikely she'll even make it to 27 much less to Sheen's 47.

The public is generally more turned off by a woman engaging in such behavior than by a man doing the same thing. During Sheen's public meltdown in 2011, Internet fanbois were practically jacking him off. Meanwhile, every time Lohan has a failure, there's a collective cheer from the peanut gallery, filled with cries of "Skank!", "Dirty whore!", etc. Granted, Charlie's a lot smarter than broads like Lohan and Paris Hilton, so that helps explain his appeal. Try to imagine a Paris Hilton type that can string together a sentence like Charlie Sheen. Nope, I can't picture it either.


I haven't heard anyone calling her a dirty whore.  I've heard tons of people criticizing her for looking like an oompaloompa Marilyn Monroe wannabe when she was ridiculously hot previously
 
2013-03-03 04:01:35 PM  
Why would anyone be against this? It's Kurt and Courtney all over again, except without the shiatty music.
 
2013-03-03 04:08:00 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Why would anyone be against this? It's Kurt and Courtney all over again, except without the shiatty music.


I think you mean Sid and Nancy.
 
2013-03-03 04:26:51 PM  
So when there is a moment when he can't suck in on the straw is it a lump of coke, a genital wart, or a herpes scab?
 
2013-03-03 04:28:28 PM  

MagSeven: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Why would anyone be against this? It's Kurt and Courtney all over again, except without the shiatty music.

I think you mean Sid and Nancy.


Nope, Nirvana and all Hole after the first album.
 
2013-03-03 05:14:06 PM  
I dont know whats wrong with you pansies, Id hit that shiat harder than a hydraulic stone breaker.

images.pictureshunt.com

www.tylershields.com

www.pqon.com

fashion.blogorganization.com
 
2013-03-03 05:55:19 PM  

D_Evans45: I dont know whats wrong with you pansies, Id hit that shiat harder than a hydraulic stone breaker.


Now post a picture post-2010
 
2013-03-03 06:30:15 PM  

LucklessWonder: D_Evans45: I dont know whats wrong with you pansies, Id hit that shiat harder than a hydraulic stone breaker.

Now post a picture post-2010


This. Age has not been a kind mistress to Lindsay. I know 47 year olds that look younger than her at 27.
 
2013-03-03 06:38:58 PM  

homelessdude: Wadded Beef: Career prediction for Lindsay Lohan, circa 2015. One of two things will happen:

1. Absolutely no funds left in the coffers so she signs on for a sitcom. It will be titled "Lindsay." She will be a single mom and a high-powered lawyer with a precocious, wise-cracking daughter. It will last two episodes.
2. Absolutely no funds left in the coffers so she signs on for a sitcom. It will be titled "Lindsay." She will be a single mom and a struggling waitress with a precocious, wise-cracking son. It will last two episodes.

2016: QVC.

3. Absolutely no funds left in the coffers so she signs on for a sitcom. It will be titled "Lindsay." It wlll be set 20 years in the future. She will be an orphan who, as a toddler, had a waitress mom who sold her to a high powered lawyer who really wanted a precocious, wise-cracking son. So the lawyer disowned her, ditched the idea of being a mom altogether and bought a Porche. Now "Lindsay" is a stripper who is dancing on the weekends while she is studying to be a lawyer so she can represent other strippers looking for a better life.


The waitressing single mom with a wisecracking son has been done ...

"There's a new girl in town and she's feelin' good!
There's a fresh freckle face in the neighborhood ..."
 
2013-03-03 06:43:51 PM  

LucklessWonder: D_Evans45: I dont know whats wrong with you pansies, Id hit that shiat harder than a hydraulic stone breaker.

Now post a picture post-2010


i.imgur.com
/Close enough
 
2013-03-03 08:18:31 PM  
The studman is strong in this thread. Im sure she still cleans up nicer than the tail most farkers pull. Her body is quite lovely, and I think comparing her to a 47 year old is a bit over the top.

/So what she caught a bunch of drug and traffic tickets, who here among us hasnt had a few of these
 
2013-03-03 08:27:47 PM  
In all fairness, I too, would snort rails of coke off of her ass.  Then I would like her snatch raw.  But that's just me.
 
2013-03-03 08:34:45 PM  

D_Evans45: Her body is quite lovely, and I think comparing her to a 47 year old is a bit over the top.

morningbounce.files.wordpress.com


NO.
 
2013-03-03 08:42:24 PM  

D_Evans45: I dont know whats wrong with you pansies, Id hit that shiat harder than a hydraulic stone breaker.


She used to look like that, she's going downhill fast. I doubt there's much hope for her.
 
2013-03-03 09:45:17 PM  

D_Evans45: The studman is strong in this thread. Im sure she still cleans up nicer than the tail most farkers pull. Her body is quite lovely, and I think comparing her to a 47 year old is a bit over the top.


I said I know 47 year olds that look younger than her.  Not that all 47 year olds do.  You can't honestly say that isn't a rough 27, can you?

/So what she caught a bunch of drug and traffic tickets, who here among us hasnt had a few of these

Raises hand.

//A speeding ticket or two and a parking ticket or three, but no DUI's, no leaving the scene of an accident, and as hard as it may be to believe, not a single drug arrest.
 
2013-03-03 11:42:57 PM  

mjbok: D_Evans45: The studman is strong in this thread. Im sure she still cleans up nicer than the tail most farkers pull. Her body is quite lovely, and I think comparing her to a 47 year old is a bit over the top.

I said I know 47 year olds that look younger than her.  Not that all 47 year olds do.  You can't honestly say that isn't a rough 27, can you?

/So what she caught a bunch of drug and traffic tickets, who here among us hasnt had a few of these

Raises hand.

//A speeding ticket or two and a parking ticket or three, but no DUI's, no leaving the scene of an accident, and as hard as it may be to believe, not a single drug arrest.


How about a few arrests for theft? Maybe fairly radioactive in your chosen profession, to the point no one will hire you except as a publicity stunt?

And, of course, the piece de resistance, have you been the object of ridicule in multiple FARK threads?

After all, who here among us hasn't been through all that, right?
 
2013-03-04 12:22:35 AM  
Her vagina smells like pain and shelf cheese.
 
2013-03-04 12:35:45 AM  
spacemanjones:

Her vagina smells like pain and shelf cheese.

Pics or it didn't happen.
 
2013-03-04 12:59:34 AM  
If only she was male, then she'd be praised by Farkers for living the exact same life
 
2013-03-04 01:08:03 AM  

Watubi: If only she was male, then she'd be praised by Farkers for living the exact same life


Nope... Charlie Sheen is a walking disaster area, too. He's just managed to hold it together well enough to be bankable as an actor.
 
2013-03-04 05:37:57 AM  

Propain_az: In all fairness, I too, would snort rails of coke off of her ass.  Then I would like her snatch raw.  But that's just me.


I don't do drugs, but I'd snort a rail of coke off her ass just to have snorted a rail of coke off Lindsay Lohan's ass.  There are certain opportunities in life you simply don't turn down.
 
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