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(Fox News)   Fox's favorite 'perfectly married' douche is back to talk about how perfect his marriage is. "I'm a guy and...." let me stop you right there   (foxnews.com) divider line 89
    More: Obvious, hairline  
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27139 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Mar 2013 at 11:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-03-03 12:12:33 PM
11 votes:
If you think your wife, or really anyone you are very close to, is perfect and beyond criticism then you don't actually know them very well. Any two people who live together are going to be out of sync about some things. That's just the nature of not being identical people. That is why people biatch about their spouses because everyone has something they don't like about them. It's the same reason they complain about bad weather to each other. It is a natural and common problem. This guy is wearing blinders but he's probably right that his wife is too good for him.

/or he could just be extremely submissive
//not that there's anything wrong with that with the right dom
2013-03-03 12:06:44 PM
10 votes:

rumpelstiltskin: From his Wikipedia page: He was married in August 2012

Snicker.


Damn, that's bad...I'vebeen married longer than him (April 2011).

I can see where he is TRYING to come from, but he's a dumb ass for thinking wives don't bad mouth their husbands too. Works both ways.

Hell, my man and I have PLENTY we could diss each other about to other people:

-I'm too fat, he's too thin
-He's from California, I'm from Louisiana (This fact makes it FUN when we watch "Cops" together)
-He's lazy about getting stuff done around the house, I biatch and complain too much

and I could go on.

But why biatch and moan to OTHER people to fit in to the stereotype of "oh its such drag being married". OR go into the "Oh I have such a perfect marriage" stereotype.

The fact is, married or not, you got two people living together under one roof. You are gonna find shiat that you can't stand about the other person. You have shiat you love about the person. The only time it gets out of hand is when (and this is just IMHO) no one is communicating that very fact. Come to a compromise or something.It's not that hard!
2013-03-03 12:03:20 PM
9 votes:
He's only been married six months, and he's an expert on marital relationships? I caught a gecko in the summer and released it back outside, yet I'm not calling myself a doctor of zoology.

Come back in forty years.
2013-03-03 11:29:44 AM
8 votes:
From his Wikipedia page: He was married in August 2012

Snicker.
2013-03-03 12:18:11 PM
6 votes:

rumpelstiltskin: From his Wikipedia page: He was married in August 2012

Snicker.


This. Sorry,  but I'm not taking marriage advice from someone who is still basically on their honeymoon. I might as well take driving tips from my 14 year-old son. He has a drivers license now, so he must be an expert, right?
2013-03-03 12:02:51 PM
6 votes:
My gut reaction after reading TFA was, "...his wife is cheating on him."
Why? Because when you write an article like that, the universe can't resist. It has a dick-ish sense of humor.
2013-03-03 11:54:16 AM
6 votes:

CujoQuarrel: That's disgusting

A married guy who won't disparage his spouse.

Utterly awful


I never had a bad thing to say about any of my exes for the first six months we were together either.
2013-03-03 11:41:01 AM
6 votes:
A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

Yeah... There ya go. Good luck with that, kiddo.

I love how he speaks with all-encompassing knowledge on every topic he deigns to enlighten us about.

You're a douchebag. Just own it.
2013-03-03 12:36:08 PM
5 votes:
"he said, as we were changing in the gym locker room."

That's all I needed to hear to know this guy's an annoying douche.

It's not the ladies sewing circle.  There's no chit chat in the men's locker room.  Shower and GTFO.
2013-03-03 12:14:48 PM
5 votes:

offmymeds: So women never complain about their husbands to each other? Riiiight.


It's not just that; the stuff they say is a complete over-share. Mrs Clam comes home from knitting group with complete horror stories about what these chicks say about their dudes. I can't imagine saying this crap to my best friend, let alone some random people I hardly knew.

Meanwhile, I have never actually heard a guy biatch about his wife. Maybe it's because I don't hang out with enough guys, or maybe it's because my guy friends are gentlemen, or maybe because only one of us has been divorced so far, and he refused to say anything bad about his ex. I like to think it's just part of that guys-will-talk-about-anything-except-their-feelings-and-relationships thing. And that's fine with me.
2013-03-03 01:02:01 PM
4 votes:

Uchiha_Cycliste: 9th grade english. I had an old crone for a teacher that was (or acted like a romantic) and had us role play / read Romeo and Juliet in class and then write an essay. I wrote my essay on the fallacies of codependency. She was unamused =D.


12th grade English.  My  teacher wanted us to write about how The Godfather mirrors Macbeth for our final essay.  We had an option to disagree.  I wrote an entire paper--a well written one with citations and footnotes--about how they in no way  mirrored one another (besides the point that power is a corrupter, which is too vague a concept to make a declarative comparison).  I had to fight off a D, because apparently this dipsh*t had fancied himself a genius for coming up with the idea, and took my response personally.

I have yet to find an educational department more full of sh*t on average than high school English departments.
2013-03-03 12:42:05 PM
4 votes:

FloydA: I never had a bad thing to say about any of my exes for the first six months we were together either.


That was my first thought. "Go ahead, idiot, and shine your newlywed wisdom all over the men who have 20-30 years in and be sure to share the secrets of how you've lasted this long." Even before my husband and I were married, I could tell you that our relationship wasn't perfect. No relationship is. And me venting or joking to my girlfriends (or him to his guy friends) is a perfectly normal and healthy way of getting that out. It has abso-farking-lutely nothing to do with peer pressure.

But yeah... I guess if my husband and I held it all in and then let it occasionally explode in some glorious screaming match every few days, we'd have a much better marriage. Personally, I prefer not having to sneak around my house to avoid the other people living in it. Having a husband who's more interested ripping off my yoga pants than griping about how I burned dinner doesn't hurt, either.

So I'll conclude... Either he's lying about how perfect things are, he's delusional, or this thing has maybe another year or two before it ends with one of them banging the neighbor and/or a murder/suicide.

/Married 10 years in May.
2013-03-03 11:57:57 AM
4 votes:
So women never complain about their husbands to each other? Riiiight.
2013-03-03 11:52:41 AM
4 votes:
The future Mrs titwrench is a huge pain in my ass. If she wasn't I wouldn't get anything done.
2013-03-03 11:41:37 AM
4 votes:

rumpelstiltskin: From his Wikipedia page: He was married in August 2012

Snicker.


They are probably still having sex, even.
2013-03-03 02:04:40 PM
3 votes:

eddiesocket: I agree in general. I don't see what's wrong with what he said in this particular article, though.


1 - His tone.  He's lecturing and self-righteous.
2 - His woefully ignorant point of view. Conflict is a natural part of marriage, men discuss it sometimes flippantly.  To do so is not the downfall of marriage or Western civilization.
3 - His conclusion.  He actually demands his readers rethink how they address their respective wives, but only after an article filled with a semi-coherent rant full of his opinion and no facts.
I realize his screed passes for a PhD thesis on Fox News where denying science is considered rational, reasonable and patriotic, but for anyone who wants a citation more credible than this drooling, closet knob gobbler's opinion it just won't do.

That help you any?
2013-03-03 01:55:55 PM
3 votes:

eddiesocket: Why are people mad at this guy? Because he won't talk crap about his wife to strangers at the gym? What a monster.


Nobody's mad at the guy.  They're calling him out for being a glib asshole.  Nobody asked him to talk crap about his wife to strangers at the gym.  In fact, nobody asked him to talk to strangers at the gym in the first place.  Because of whatever personality disorder he has, he feels compelled to aim the only positive thing he imagines he has--a perfect marriage--at other men to make them feel more inferior than he does.  That's open hostility in its most banal form.
2013-03-03 12:30:49 PM
3 votes:
I am a pita. I expect my man to blow off steam with his friends and complain. Otherwise, it would just build up and he would resent me. I do the same to my friends. So, I can come home with a fresh perspective.
2013-03-03 12:26:09 PM
3 votes:
This guy's marriage is already on the rocks. He thinks this article will give him a shot at another wet hole soon.
2013-03-03 12:24:19 PM
3 votes:
My wife and I have been married almost 8 years, and we get along pretty well. We actually are like best friends and make each other laugh a lot. Even so, there are arguments and disagreements every now and then. You're not being real with each other if you don't have genuine tension sometimes.

That said, like everything else having to do with cable news, Johnny Comedian's remarks on his "perfect marriage" are more about drawing viewers and commentary (like we're all doing) and building his own brand than it is about conveying any real facts or opinions.
2013-03-03 12:21:39 PM
3 votes:

Uchiha_Cycliste: NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

There are some cases where this is true.
For instance the deal I have going with my girlfriend. Though we've only been dating since July, we've been best friends forever. And for at least the last ten years we have had a deal worked out where if she tells me to do something I do it, and if she tells me not to do something I don't. No arguing, no discussion.
When she says you need to go to the hospital right now, I skedaddle to the closest hospital. When she says, no! you can't climb on that! I don't. I seem to lack that little voice that says 'hey, maybe that's not a good idea' so she provides it for me =D

\been best friends for almost 25 years (since we were 6)
\\been pretty deeply in love for at least a couple of years before we started dating. ♥


In other words, you say "Yes dear."  There's only two ways a wife is perfect.  Either you're submissive and do everything she says.  Or she's submissive and does everything you say.  Any other way you disagree and no one's perfect.
2013-03-03 11:51:01 AM
3 votes:
That's disgusting

A married guy who won't disparage his spouse.

Utterly awful
2013-03-03 03:13:11 PM
2 votes:
Poor, poor Steven Crowder. Not only is he delusional, but he is an idiot. I have known those types since middle school. The ones that would have their mom dye their jocks the team color, the ones that swore abstinence until marriage, the ones who belonged to Fellowship of Christian Athletes, the ones that dated the prudish straight A girl with her hair in a bun and sweater covering her tits in July. So now Steve married the girl of his dreams and absolutely adores her because he got his first piece of pie in his life. Maybe it was her first, too, but since she got a little feel for it and quickly figured out he had no idea how to use his tool, she will find somebody that does. I am 99.998% positive Mrs. Crowder is going to pulling the Reading RR in no time and those guys in the locker will not be able to look at him without laughing.

(Smoked with the cool kids)
2013-03-03 12:54:59 PM
2 votes:
His wife is cheating on him.  For a guy like this, that's an automatic.
Can't wait to see him turn into Sam Kinison after he gets divorced.

www.biography.com
2013-03-03 12:50:22 PM
2 votes:

mafiageek1980: Uchiha_Cycliste: NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

There are some cases where this is true.
For instance the deal I have going with my girlfriend. Though we've only been dating since July, we've been best friends forever. And for at least the last ten years we have had a deal worked out where if she tells me to do something I do it, and if she tells me not to do something I don't. No arguing, no discussion.
When she says you need to go to the hospital right now, I skedaddle to the closest hospital. When she says, no! you can't climb on that! I don't. I seem to lack that little voice that says 'hey, maybe that's not a good idea' so she provides it for me =D

\been best friends for almost 25 years (since we were 6)
\\been pretty deeply in love for at least a couple of years before we started dating. ♥

damn, it's a bit dusty here in casa de la mafiageek all the sudden!


would the dustiness be mitigated with the unavoidable irritation from us acting like young high school sweet hearts? =P

Heh, I think it's funny that for years now we've talked about marriage and kids and stuff, mostly in general terms for all our conversations but (apparently) it was in the back of both our minds that these conversations would possibly/probably actually be bout us. Also, I know her well enough that on a little vacation we took a while ago I asked her, no that's not right, i stated, you don't want to take my name if we get married do you. Which she agreed. What was neat was that we both knew her answer but it took a long time for us to dig down into why she said no. Well, the obvious solution is that I'll take her name. All that's important to me is that were we to get married we have the same last name as a symbolic statement that we are starting a family together. I don't particularly care if we keep mine, or I have hers as long as ew share the same surname.  I know it ages down the road, but I can't wait to be married.
2013-03-03 12:48:03 PM
2 votes:

No_Good_Name: I am a pita. I expect my man to blow off steam with his friends and complain. Otherwise, it would just build up and he would resent me. I do the same to my friends. So, I can come home with a fresh perspective.


Exactly.  I don't know what kind of people the author hangs out with, but for most people I know (who don't genuinely have marital issues, in which case they're often looking for support from their friends to help them through a difficult time) most of the "complaining" just boils down to letting off steam about living in close quarters with someone you love but who isn't perfect.

Hence why I don't feel the need to march off in a huff, complaining about my vapors when I hear it.
2013-03-03 12:47:50 PM
2 votes:

FloydA: CujoQuarrel: That's disgusting

A married guy who won't disparage his spouse.

Utterly awful

I never had a bad thing to say about any of my exes for the first six months we were together either.


8 years here, and still never say anything negative about my wife. And partly because of that, our marriage just keeps getting better and better.
2013-03-03 12:45:40 PM
2 votes:
While I agree with the small kernal of a central principle that you shoot your own self in the foot by taking on the attitude that your partner is a pain in the ass and outwardly biatch about it....... yeah this guy is setting himself up for a world of disappointment.

A smug married of only 6 months, who only lost his virginity in the same time frame still thinks his wife hung the moon? Surely there is no other explanation for this other than that she is the world's perfect woman.
2013-03-03 12:43:08 PM
2 votes:

NewportBarGuy: Uchiha_Cycliste: There are some cases where this is true.

Absolutely, man. Read the rest of it. I was just bashing this guy for being a know-it-all jackass. There are no absolutes and not all situations are the same. I just hate his holier-than-thou approach. "If it works for me, you're an asshole because I'm awesome!"

I only know of a few really strong marriages where I just smile and think it would be cool to have that. It's nice to see the ones that work, but I've seen so many horror shows...

Just glad you're happy because that's really all that matters.


Thanks!
If this guy is the prick he sounds like, he'll get what's coming to him. To quote The Streets, "We met through a shared view, she loved me and I did too". She's gonne be unhappy when she realizes that he cares more for himself than her, and with any luck she'll make him miserable.

On a side note, we like to joke amongst ourselves about how backwards we've done things. Already best friends, and pretty much wanna spend the rest of our lives together, then found ourselves deeply and madly in love, and then we decided you know what, we should start dating. =P

\love her so much.
2013-03-03 12:42:38 PM
2 votes:
In a couple of months I will celebrate my 20th wedding anniversary with my wife.  We still love each other, and get along great.  But the author hasn't lived long enough or had enough experience in the world if he thinks a spouse, even a loving, kind, funny, happy, cool, sexy one, will not ever be a pain in the ass.  I try not to disparage my wife in front of others, but he's in a fantasy land if he thinks a good marriage never has any arguments or times when one or both partners are not perfect.  Sometimes my wife has been a pain in my ass.  Sometimes I've been a pain her hers.  A good marriage is not one that never experiences difficulties, but one in which both partners work through them together when they do occur.
2013-03-03 12:25:14 PM
2 votes:

I should be in the kitchen: If your spouse is such a horrible person, what does that say about you for marrying her/him, hmmm? I think it's natural to want to vent on occasion but if all you have to say is negative, you're a piece of shiat.


Yes this
2013-03-03 12:22:49 PM
2 votes:
If your spouse is such a horrible person, what does that say about you for marrying her/him, hmmm? I think it's natural to want to vent on occasion but if all you have to say is negative, you're a piece of shiat.
2013-03-03 12:15:37 PM
2 votes:

NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.


There are some cases where this is true.
For instance the deal I have going with my girlfriend. Though we've only been dating since July, we've been best friends forever. And for at least the last ten years we have had a deal worked out where if she tells me to do something I do it, and if she tells me not to do something I don't. No arguing, no discussion.
When she says you need to go to the hospital right now, I skedaddle to the closest hospital. When she says, no! you can't climb on that! I don't. I seem to lack that little voice that says 'hey, maybe that's not a good idea' so she provides it for me =D

\been best friends for almost 25 years (since we were 6)
\\been pretty deeply in love for at least a couple of years before we started dating. ♥
2013-03-03 12:13:20 PM
2 votes:
This reminds me of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.  You're in love, God bless you, you know nothing, or something along those lines.

/DNRTFA  (skimmed, which was plenty)
2013-03-03 12:08:58 PM
2 votes:
"Oh shut the F**k up!" would be my only reply to that guy.
2013-03-03 12:03:28 PM
2 votes:
My wife is a huge pain in the ass, and I love the hell out of her. That's the way it should be.

/Guy must have a boring sex life.
2013-03-03 12:01:25 PM
2 votes:

titwrench: The future Mrs titwrench is a huge pain in my ass. If she wasn't I wouldn't get anything done.


This.
2013-03-03 11:57:39 AM
2 votes:
Single guy here, reporting with popcorn.
2013-03-04 01:05:21 AM
1 votes:
Umm... I would never badmouth my husband. He wouldn't do it to me either. Why is this so hard to believe for so many people?
2013-03-03 05:50:40 PM
1 votes:
"Befuddled mastiff". The kind of phrase rightwingers think makes them sound articulate and masculine. Instead of phony and...phony.

I give him credit for not using "come a cropper."
2013-03-03 05:05:07 PM
1 votes:

JohnnyBravo: Jesus Christ, you talk more than my wife. And, like my wife, all I heard was static. You sure you have testicles?


I can't help it, I just really really love my GF. Talking about her like I have been in this thread makes me happy, because it's a whole bunch of time I get to spend thinking of her =3

I love her so much.
2013-03-03 04:59:36 PM
1 votes:

Uchiha_Cycliste: Zelron: Uchiha_Cycliste: NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

There are some cases where this is true.
For instance the deal I have going with my girlfriend. Though we've only been dating since July, we've been best friends forever. And for at least the last ten years we have had a deal worked out where if she tells me to do something I do it, and if she tells me not to do something I don't. No arguing, no discussion.
When she says you need to go to the hospital right now, I skedaddle to the closest hospital. When she says, no! you can't climb on that! I don't. I seem to lack that little voice that says 'hey, maybe that's not a good idea' so she provides it for me =D

\been best friends for almost 25 years (since we were 6)
\\been pretty deeply in love for at least a couple of years before we started dating. ♥

In other words, you say "Yes dear."  There's only two ways a wife is perfect.  Either you're submissive and do everything she says.  Or she's submissive and does everything you say.  Any other way you disagree and no one's perfect.

We do disagree sometimes, but it usually results in us both learning something and coming at something from different POVs that we share. Never on important things though. With the deal we have worked out, often I'll call or text her and ask if I can do this or that, or I'll let her know if something not good is happening and ask her advice. Other times I can just ask myself, if she were here... would she let me do this? And that's kept me pretty safe (ie not severely injured and alive =D)
We have some debate about this, but we suspect because of the way we grew up, and the influence we've had on each other's tastes over time has resulted in us pretty much feeling the same about most things. Everything important at least. Likewise because of how we've pulled each other through bad times there's no one that knows each of us better than us in the whole world =D. She knows what I'm thinking and vice versa, almost like mind reading.

Interestingly, most of our disagreements occur over subjects involving race. For instance (and this happened yesterday morning, before we drove me to the airport). We were discussing the NoFx song "Don't call me white" I interpret it as don't make assumptions based on race, she thinks they are avoiding and disregarding white privilege. But pretty much there are no situations where submission is required, we are always on the same wavelength. If we differ, we argue on the merits of the situation. An engineer and a doctor are an awesome couple.


Jesus Christ, you talk more than my wife. And, like my wife, all I heard was static. You sure you have testicles?
2013-03-03 04:46:13 PM
1 votes:
Go on, guys.  Get married.  Your life will be sooo much happier.

www.swaggermagazine.com
2013-03-03 04:25:34 PM
1 votes:

p51d007: Who says you have to be married to be "happy"?


Co-dependent people.
2013-03-03 03:51:45 PM
1 votes:
Yeah, this guy's been married all of seven months. As much as I think in general he has a good point (some guys are pretty relentless about badmouthing the wife), he hasn't even gotten to the hard part yet and he's criticizing guys who have been in the hard part for 5, 10, 20 years. Seven months, fer reals?! He might as well call from his honeymoon while catching his breath between farks and tell all guys they're jerks for badmouthing their wives or marriage. Total dick move.

And notice he conveniently left this tidbit out of his column. He didn't bring it up in the interview either, the anchor had to ask him.
2013-03-03 03:41:48 PM
1 votes:
That guy is a comedian? Does he do stand-up where he gets on stage and talks down to the audience and dispenses advice that he's woefully unqualified to give? Sounds hilarious.
2013-03-03 03:39:03 PM
1 votes:

I should be in the kitchen: If your spouse is such a horrible person, what does that say about you for marrying her/him, hmmm? I think it's natural to want to vent on occasion but if all you have to say is negative, you're a piece of shiat.


This.

I don't think the author is complaining about men who on occasion have a grumble about their wives, but rather the ball slapped men who must put down their wives just because it seems to be the thing to do.

Ball slapped, by the way,  is very similar to pussy whipped but rather than meekly just doing what their girlfriends want,  these men do anything their male mates want even though they do not want to.
2013-03-03 03:27:53 PM
1 votes:

thamike: bratface: NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

Yeah... There ya go. Good luck with that, kiddo.

I love how he speaks with all-encompassing knowledge on every topic he deigns to enlighten us about.

You're a douchebag. Just own it.

Why is he a 'douche bag'?

I think that's been studied exhaustively in this thread.


I think his use of the phrase "urinate-and-moan" really sums it up nicely. What kind of worthless prick needs that vulgar phrase so badly that they must use it, but can't bring themselves to use it honestly?
2013-03-03 03:19:21 PM
1 votes:

Wyalt Derp: A girlfriend was once shiatty with me for three days because I was mean to her in a dream.


She did you a favor by giving you three reasons why she's not wife material.
2013-03-03 03:18:11 PM
1 votes:

bratface: NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

Yeah... There ya go. Good luck with that, kiddo.

I love how he speaks with all-encompassing knowledge on every topic he deigns to enlighten us about.

You're a douchebag. Just own it.

Why is he a 'douche bag'?


I think that's been studied exhaustively in this thread.
2013-03-03 03:16:47 PM
1 votes:

wagnerism: For those of you that want to know what it's like to be in a serious relationship with a woman - I just found out that I'm on the third day of an argument that I didn't know I was having.


A girlfriend was once shiatty with me for three days because I was mean to her in a dream.
2013-03-03 03:04:41 PM
1 votes:

silvervial: I think the point about not running down your spouse to other people is a very good one. The more you think and say such things about someone you ostensibly love the easier it is to see them as a "biatch" or "prick".


The point is a good one. I don't say anything about my wife to anyone that I wouldn't say to her face. But the fact the author thinks this is some sort of revelation and is bragging on the internet doesn't make him any less of a douche. A asshole weatherman might be right when he says the sun is coming up tomorrow, but that doesn't make him any less of an asshole.
2013-03-03 02:56:37 PM
1 votes:

Uchiha_Cycliste: notatrollorami: OK now I'm starting to think you're trolling.  She doesn't have to take your name, of course that's reasonable, but you're going to take hers?  Just go ahead and slice of your nads and hang them on a chain around her neck rather than be weakly metaphorical about it.

Yup. I seriously am.
Like I mentioned, it's something important to me because of the symbolism. It's also worth noting that for a very long time now... 20+ years, we have firmly believed in men and women, boys and girls being equal. There are some different dangly bits but that's about it. I just want our family to have the same last name, but which way it goes doesn't matter to me. And because of all the licensing she has and I don't it just makes more sense.

Why do you think it's any different that a girl taking a guys name, just opposite?



I don't think it is fundamentally different for either gender.  The reality, though, is that you are buying a lifetimes worth of perception problems when dealing with other people.

I was a stay at home dad for a few years, which was absolutely wonderful.  I loved all the time just being a dad; it just suits me.  She on the other hand is fond of the corporate rat race while I hate it and taking a few years off when the kids were small gave me the opportunity to restart with a contracting career I enjoy.  So it was best for US.  But I was astonished at how much it changed the perception of me and us from the outside, including long time friends.

It doesn't matter if it should be that way or not, this is the society we live in and it's draining to run counter to it.  For that situation and for my wife and I and that was the right decision to make, but there were real social repercussions far beyond what I anticipated.  I wouldn't deal with that for a name, personally,  But you're you and I'm not.
2013-03-03 02:50:31 PM
1 votes:

Donkey Hodie: In a couple of months I will celebrate my 20th wedding anniversary with my wife.  We still love each other, and get along great.  But the author hasn't lived long enough or had enough experience in the world if he thinks a spouse, even a loving, kind, funny, happy, cool, sexy one, will not ever be a pain in the ass.  I try not to disparage my wife in front of others, but he's in a fantasy land if he thinks a good marriage never has any arguments or times when one or both partners are not perfect.  Sometimes my wife has been a pain in my ass.  Sometimes I've been a pain her hers.  A good marriage is not one that never experiences difficulties, but one in which both partners work through them together when they do occur.


Basically, this. My husband and I will be married 32 years on April 1st, and we've been exclusively a couple for 37 years at the end of May (we had to wait five years until we were old enough to get married and take care of ourselves).

We've been pains in each other's asses on many occasions over the years, but the thing is, we *still* have never disparaged each other to our friends or co-workers or anyone else. We have disagreements, but we don't say to a friend "God, what a biatch my wife is sometimes!" or "He's such a prick when he gets on his high horse" or whatever.

I think the point about not running down your spouse to other people is a very good one. The more you think and say such things about someone you ostensibly love the easier it is to see them as a "biatch" or "prick".

This guy's a jerk, but that point stands, and that's coming from someone with a lot more "married years" under her belt.
2013-03-03 02:31:14 PM
1 votes:

Trillian Astra: I also attempted to listen to one of his stand-up shows and he sounds like a cross between Dane Cook and someone else equally as unfunny.


I agree that Dane Cook is an excellent point of comparison for "not funny." But in Dane Cook's defense (shudder) he's head and shoulders above anyone I've ever heard him explicitly compared with, this guy most definitely included.

There's a huge difference between setting the bar an inch above the ground and clearing it by a millimeter, which is what the Dane Cooks and  Two Broke Girlses of the comedy world do, and "comedians" who fundamentally misunderstand the nature of comedy. Crowder's kind of schtick is like watching someone who thinks they speak fluent Spanish because they memorized every word in a pocket dictionary. ("Hello! I be to have your morning-good! For your favor, my chestnuts is toasty this daybreak!" Actually, strike that analogy, because that sounds like it could be pretty funny.)

Damn, when I got up this morning I didn't think I'd be white-knighting Dane Cook. I need to go watch the last twenty minutes of  Mr. Brooks to cleanse the palate.
2013-03-03 02:29:37 PM
1 votes:

kth: Uchiha_Cycliste: Mrbogey: Uchiha_Cycliste: We were discussing the NoFx song "Don't call me white" I interpret it as don't make assumptions based on race, she thinks they are avoiding and disregarding white privilege.

How that conversation doesn't end with the car swerving into the divider, I'll never know.

we were in bed drinking the morning coffee =D. I drove us to the airport 5 min later, then she drove to work and I went home =(.

That makes me smile so very very much. I love the random conversations that happen while snuggling.

My husband and I had a long conversation a few nights ago before we went to sleep about how if corporations are people too (my friend), then can they get married? And if so, how can we be sure of gender so they don't (gasp) get gay married?  And at what point is a subsidiary considered alive? Yeah, we're dorks.


Yeah, conversations like this are really fun. Also, I consider her to be smarter than me, which absolutely means the world to me. I've had roommates and neighbors before that ranged from not so sharp to honest to god dumb. Those conversations are either very restricted on what topics we can talk about and how much depth we caI had  n continue on with and sometimes it was very lonely... I had no one to really talk to. With her we can really talk about anything, work excepted because it requires such specific knowledge that isn't easy to abstract to discuss. She makes me think and listens and I make her think and listen the best I can, just often having things repeated because of my hearing. It just means so much to me that we can talk like that and that she contribute and understands and we compliment each other so well.

Just as importantly, we can sit there and say nothing and it never becomes uncomfortable. I had a roommate for a while that couldn't stand silence, it was almost bizarre but something had to be on: radio, tv, movie in the background, or HAD to be talking. For some reason silence wasn't okay, and I really appreciated with her and I we can have silence.
2013-03-03 02:17:45 PM
1 votes:
I don't think he realizes just how stupid he sounds. I also attempted to listen to one of his stand-up shows and he sounds like a cross between Dane Cook and someone else equally as unfunny.

Anyone who thinks their partner is the epitome of perfection, with no fault ever, should probably have never married in the first place. You don't know someone until you've lived with them.
2013-03-03 02:17:43 PM
1 votes:

eddiesocket: Why are people mad at this guy? Because he won't talk crap about his wife to strangers at the gym?  What a  monster.
Yeah sure, he probably won't feel quite this schoompy once he's been married longer, but the general idea--don't hate your spouse, don't talk shiat about them in public--is a pretty sound one, I think.


Regardless if he ever talks bad about his wife or not, he didn't need to bother the other guy who just needed to vent.  Venting sometimes needs to happen.  I had a coworker that was going through a hard time with his wife and he would vent like mad at work.  Once, he called her a whore, which caused me to wince.  They later worked it out and got back together, maybe his venting allowed him to cool down so he could talk to her again.  Frustrations builds, for sanity's sake we need the understanding ear to either nod or give us some words of wisdom.  Judging someone who is frustrated will only mean they will now be angry with you.  He isn't a monster, but he is an obvious troll.

/I don't consider locker rooms to be public exactly, I would hope some privacy would take place
//Although, watch your words if an in-law is in the room
2013-03-03 02:12:44 PM
1 votes:
FTA "Here's my challenge to the real men out there; it's very simple. If you have a good marriage, talk about it. If you love your wife, say it. If some moron tells you that you're merely a "newlywed" or that you're still just "too young to understand," correct them. Openhanded slaps to the face are preferable.'

Um, who slaps another guy in the face?
2013-03-03 02:09:18 PM
1 votes:

technofiend: eddiesocket: I agree in general. I don't see what's wrong with what he said in this particular article, though.

1 - His tone.  He's lecturing and self-righteous.
2 - His woefully ignorant point of view. Conflict is a natural part of marriage, men discuss it sometimes flippantly.  To do so is not the downfall of marriage or Western civilization.
3 - His conclusion.  He actually demands his readers rethink how they address their respective wives, but only after an article filled with a semi-coherent rant full of his opinion and no facts.
I realize his screed passes for a PhD thesis on Fox News where denying science is considered rational, reasonable and patriotic, but for anyone who wants a citation more credible than this drooling, closet knob gobbler's opinion it just won't do.

That help you any?


And let's not forget that the gym story was probably fabricated in order to justify all of the above.  How many levels of pathetic is that?
2013-03-03 01:50:23 PM
1 votes:
Why are people mad at this guy? Because he won't talk crap about his wife to strangers at the gym?  What a  monster.
Yeah sure, he probably won't feel quite this schoompy once he's been married longer, but the general idea--don't hate your spouse, don't talk shiat about them in public--is a pretty sound one, I think.
2013-03-03 01:47:59 PM
1 votes:

ISO15693: 8 years here, and still never say anything negative about my wife. And partly because of that, our marriage just keeps getting better and better.


7 years married, and I *do* say negative things. They're usually to her, and phrased in a polite, constructive manner. Also, they're usually said after some thought, but not after a long enough period of time to allow resentment or anger to build up. It's the first lesson I learned. She does the same for me. "It bothers me when you do X, Y, or Z." Discussion ensues, an agreement is reached, problem solved.

As for the "lack of sex in marriage" jokes, yeah, that happens. It happens because there are more important things to do in an ever increasingly hectic life, and with anything, the thrill wears off unless you keep it interesting. What have you done lately for her in that area? If you're trying (and not just ham-fisted attempts at shoving your dick in her mouth) and she still in disinterested, maybe divorce is right for you. Or try having a talk.
2013-03-03 01:44:55 PM
1 votes:

hutchkc: As for the author, thanks for the advice and after giving it some thought I don't think your advice is helpful for a healthy long term relationship over the years. Being upset about something that bothers you and not getting it off your chest doesn't strike me as the best course of action.


Can you imagine being in a gym and saying to an acquaintance, "Man oh man, gotta go back home to the wife and pretend she knows how to cook, know what i mean?."  And some gladhanding meathead goes, "No, I don't know what you mean.  My marriage's perfect."  It's a weaponized form of self loathing.
2013-03-03 01:41:27 PM
1 votes:
From somewheres on teh interwebs...

For those of you that want to know what it's like to be in a serious relationship with a woman - I just found out that I'm on the third day of an argument that I didn't know I was having.
2013-03-03 01:18:11 PM
1 votes:
Haters gonna hate. That said, you may want to wait till the first year is wrapped up before dispensing marriage advice.
2013-03-03 01:11:50 PM
1 votes:
Steven Crowder is just a troll Fox gets to stand in when Dennis Miller is unavailable or they don't want to pay his fee. His goal is to agitate, not inform, educate or otherwise further the discussion of whatever topic his fishing with.

DNFTT
i.imgur.com
2013-03-03 01:06:59 PM
1 votes:
If you have that much to biatch about, you need a new wife.

If you have kids, sorry man, you're permafarked.
2013-03-03 01:06:17 PM
1 votes:
I have to say, as someone who hears the female and male version of this all this time, yeah, I'm with this guy, STFU. If you marry a man-child\shrewish biatch,  go figure out a way to make it work or get a divorce, but don't clutter up girl\guy time with biatching about it. "Oh, yeah, last Tuesday I had to help my husband run the dishwasher, he just couldn't figure it out, ha ha!" "My wife's such a biatch, she's calling me every ten seconds to be sure I'm not cheating, ha ha!".

I mean, I'm sure this is funny to some people, but the rest of us are looking at you and idly considering introducing your head to a large blunt object to fix whatever obvious brain damage you had marrying such a nimrod in the first place.
2013-03-03 01:03:27 PM
1 votes:
My husband and I knew each other for 13 years before we got married, and we are rapidly approaching our silver anniversary.  We constantly harp at each other, the nagging and whining are legendary, and the best part is neither of us is afraid to say exactly what's on our mind to the other.  I absolutely despise women who act all sweetness and light around their spouses, and then as soon as they are in different locales, blammo, out pop the real feelings and thoughts.  Hell, even my kids picked up on the number of adults that are two-faced around their significant others, and my kids aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer.

Nobody's perfect, and grow up.
2013-03-03 12:52:10 PM
1 votes:

Paul Baumer: FTA Hold your nose though, because here comes the really cold water

Lolwut?


Waterboarding is a staple of right wing humor.
2013-03-03 12:51:56 PM
1 votes:

Ambivalence: Is this the same guy who pontificated that he waited until marraige to have sex?

That guy was a royal douche.


OH, he`s THAT guy!

/he MUST be trolling the interwebs, there`s no way someone could be THAT much of a douche...
//that or he isn`t telling is he has sex with the children he has locked in the basement
2013-03-03 12:48:36 PM
1 votes:
I'm sure my husband thought I was amazing for the first year we were married. 
We're coming up at 22 years now. I'm sure he knows most of my faults by now.
2013-03-03 12:48:25 PM
1 votes:

kid_icarus: My gut reaction after reading TFA was, "...his wife is cheating on him."
Why? Because when you write an article like that, the universe can't resist. It has a dick-ish sense of humor.


I had the same gut reaction. It was when he said "I married somebody better than myself."

Someone better than you will get sick of you much quicker than you get sick of them. Of course this guy won`t badmouth his wife, she is much better than him. He won`t ever get sick of her. He knows that he is a coonts hair away from her realising she could do much better and deciding to fark the pool boy and then running off to Rio with half his money...
2013-03-03 12:45:44 PM
1 votes:

Unlord: "he said, as we were changing in the gym locker room."

That's all I needed to hear to know this guy's an annoying douche.

It's not the ladies sewing circle. There's no chit chat in the men's locker room. Shower and GTFO.


basically that comment is code to let his audience know that he is a closeted self-hater
2013-03-03 12:39:01 PM
1 votes:

MurphyMurphy: I find this alleged guy to have an extremely punchable face.


cdn.breitbart.com
s3.chelseafcblog.net
2013-03-03 12:38:59 PM
1 votes:

Zelron: Uchiha_Cycliste: NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

There are some cases where this is true.
For instance the deal I have going with my girlfriend. Though we've only been dating since July, we've been best friends forever. And for at least the last ten years we have had a deal worked out where if she tells me to do something I do it, and if she tells me not to do something I don't. No arguing, no discussion.
When she says you need to go to the hospital right now, I skedaddle to the closest hospital. When she says, no! you can't climb on that! I don't. I seem to lack that little voice that says 'hey, maybe that's not a good idea' so she provides it for me =D

\been best friends for almost 25 years (since we were 6)
\\been pretty deeply in love for at least a couple of years before we started dating. ♥

In other words, you say "Yes dear."  There's only two ways a wife is perfect.  Either you're submissive and do everything she says.  Or she's submissive and does everything you say.  Any other way you disagree and no one's perfect.


We do disagree sometimes, but it usually results in us both learning something and coming at something from different POVs that we share. Never on important things though. With the deal we have worked out, often I'll call or text her and ask if I can do this or that, or I'll let her know if something not good is happening and ask her advice. Other times I can just ask myself, if she were here... would she let me do this? And that's kept me pretty safe (ie not severely injured and alive =D)
We have some debate about this, but we suspect because of the way we grew up, and the influence we've had on each other's tastes over time has resulted in us pretty much feeling the same about most things. Everything important at least. Likewise because of how we've pulled each other through bad times there's no one that knows each of us better than us in the whole world =D. She knows what I'm thinking and vice versa, almost like mind reading.

Interestingly, most of our disagreements occur over subjects involving race. For instance (and this happened yesterday morning, before we drove me to the airport). We were discussing the NoFx song "Don't call me white" I interpret it as don't make assumptions based on race, she thinks they are avoiding and disregarding white privilege. But pretty much there are no situations where submission is required, we are always on the same wavelength. If we differ, we argue on the merits of the situation. An engineer and a doctor are an awesome couple.
2013-03-03 12:35:18 PM
1 votes:

Uchiha_Cycliste: There are some cases where this is true.


Absolutely, man. Read the rest of it. I was just bashing this guy for being a know-it-all jackass. There are no absolutes and not all situations are the same. I just hate his holier-than-thou approach. "If it works for me, you're an asshole because I'm awesome!"

I only know of a few really strong marriages where I just smile and think it would be cool to have that. It's nice to see the ones that work, but I've seen so many horror shows...

Just glad you're happy because that's really all that matters.
2013-03-03 12:31:01 PM
1 votes:

Ambivalence: Is this the same guy who pontificated that he waited until marraige to have sex?

That guy was a royal douche.


He's probably a liar as well.
2013-03-03 12:31:00 PM
1 votes:

Ambivalence: Is this the same guy who pontificated that he waited until marraige to have sex?

That guy was a royal douche.


Surprise! He still is.
2013-03-03 12:28:52 PM
1 votes:

mod3072: This. Sorry, but I'm not taking marriage advice from someone who is still basically on their honeymoon. I might as well take driving tips from my 14 year-old son. He has a drivers license now, so he must be an expert, right?


What maniac gave a 14 year old a drivers license?
2013-03-03 12:22:53 PM
1 votes:
FTA:
When men get together, they moan about their wives.
 
---

Got news for ya bro, she's saying stuff about you when the women get together.
2013-03-03 12:13:08 PM
1 votes:
He's not complaining - but she probably is.
2013-03-03 12:03:34 PM
1 votes:
www.popcrunch.com

Speaking of hot wives...
2013-03-03 12:03:33 PM
1 votes:

VoodooTaco: titwrench: The future Mrs titwrench is a huge pain in my ass. If she wasn't I wouldn't get anything done.

This.


Carrot AND stick.
Cna't have one with out the other.
2013-03-03 12:00:29 PM
1 votes:
"I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess."
2013-03-03 11:55:19 AM
1 votes:

cmunic8r99: rumpelstiltskin: From his Wikipedia page: He was married in August 2012

Snicker.

They are probably still having sex, even.


With each other, even. That won't last. He'll have a column in a year or three complaining about the cleanliness in Chinese massage parlors or bathroom stalls.
2013-03-03 11:53:14 AM
1 votes:
"What kind of an idiot are you to marry a person that you think is an absolute moron?"

Somebody looking for a soul mate?
2013-03-03 11:49:42 AM
1 votes:
Not only is it often as disingenuous as Joe Biden's hairline, but it's incredibly harmful

 Leave the jokes for the funny people, please.
2013-03-03 11:24:18 AM
1 votes:
I find this alleged guy to have an extremely punchable face.

And fapable wife.
 
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