hutchkc: Uchiha_Cycliste: tlchwi02: Uchiha_Cycliste: really?
Can you elaborate please? I'm really curious and interested.

technically its supposed to be the same as a woman taking a mans name, and on paper it should be as simple. the problem is that because its still very unusual it seems (anecdotally) like there are a lot more problems where government and banks and other institutions put you through the ringer. maybe its just because the anecdotes are currently popular to print and 99% of people don't have a problem, but my name isn't so terrible that I want to take the risk

that's really interesting.
It sounds like maybe things are partially automated for a woman that goes through this process, but not men? Hmm, if... *IF* gay marriage were to become legal across the nation I bet it would become significantly easier to do. But I don't think that will be happening soon =/
The way I think, both she and I would have a handful of stuff we have to do, but she has licenses and other medical stuff in addition. I can't help think that it would be a huger hassle for her, which makes me sad.

I believe in some states they allow the couple to create a new last name that both take

I would think if any state was gonna do that, it would be mine (CA)

thurstonxhowell: I think his use of the phrase "urinate-and-moan" really sums it up nicely. What kind of worthless prick needs that vulgar phrase so badly that they must use it, but can't bring themselves to use it honestly?

Worthless pricks who were raised by this:



/HIS BLADDER'S FULL!  FULL OF URINE!

lack of warmth: tlchwi02: Uchiha_Cycliste: really?
Can you elaborate please? I'm really curious and interested.

oh and I don't want my poor GF to have my name. her name starts with "ch" and my last name also does. it would sound weird.

Like Chris Christie?  It worked for him.

I was thinking "Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch" like Jason Voorhees is sneaking up on you.

notatrollorami: Your assumption that your coworkers (and presumably by extension your neighbors, acquaintances, and UPS guy) will not care is regrettably false.  That's what I failed to anticipate.  Because the decision you're considering is atypical it will become your defining attribute.  There's the one armed guy, the cat lady, the midget, the guy with the mullet.  You will be the "guy who took his wifes name".  And the inevitable underpinnings of the conversation that will occur thousands of times as soon as you walk away will be about whether this indicates you are perhaps a nice and considerate husband or a shrinking violet whose wife wears the pants or if you were actively working to end your family name.  Which, BTW, will be the real reason your dad will be upset whether he can effectively communicate it or not.  It will be something he either tries to hide or ignore or the subject of shame and speculation among his peer group.  It's just the nature of going against the grain.

I'm not trying to convince you to change your mind.  At all.  I'm just saying you owe it to yourself and your soon to be wife to really think/talk through the reality of the situation rather than blithely dismissing the repercussions of such a decision.  And if you do take her name be especially wary of gradually developing over-machismo attributes to counteract the inevitable perception of emasculation you will encounter.

Best of luck though man.  Marriage (propertly fed and watered) can make your life better and more meaningful than anything you can possible experience as an individual.

First off, and this is both I think fitting and ironic. Besides licensing and what have you, part of the reason my GF doesn't want to take my name is that it's a reflection of the (still) heavily patriarchal society we have and she doesn't want to be a party to all of that and all of it's assumptions and rules. Personally I can get behind that 100%   and in fact all this extra hassle that it sounds like I'll go through is just another reminder of that state of things. I'm totally okay going the extra mile here to buck that trend and not be a party to it myself.

Next, I would say that I know a lot of my co-workers pretty well and I am pretty darned sure that a decision like this wouldn't be a big bother to them. Partially I think it helps that they are all hardware engineers and we all think a certain way and partially I already have a pretty strong label at work as a hard core cyclist. I ride in every day, I help every one with their bikes. I have a bike stand and wheel truing stand and a tool kit at work. When anyone has any questions, or thoughts about bikes everyone in my building (and the next over) know to come to me. Next, cycling aside, I carry a label of being disabled (hearing loss) and am known for having hearing aids and not always hearing very well. I firmly believe that these labels will stick more strongly than a label whose origin is in my name change. I think I can see how other workplaces and other environments that wouldn't be true, but I really think that doesn't apply as much to my people.  Along those lines, I'm used to having the same conversation a thousand times because of my hearing, and honestly I'd be happier talking about my wife than my ears. =D

As long as one of my two other male cousins get married and have kids my line won't die out. And while I personally don't care much, I should hope that would be enough for my dad.  Although Mom and I don't think that's why he would be upset. We think he'll take it as a personal insult, which is ridiculous, childish and self absorbed. My decision in what I'm doing with my name has nothing to do with him, he doesn't factor into these decisions in any way and I hope I will be able to get him to see that.

I know that my gf would likely be just as happy were we to simply keep our names, but it's important to be (again cuz symbolism) for us to have the same last name as a sign that we have started a new family unit together. =3

You really have given me a lot to think about, and I reckon these things you have said will apply, from a lot of people. I just don't think that my closest and immediate co-workers will be one of those groups. And I know for damn sure it won't be an issue with my friends, who for the most part are already privy to my intentions.  I think it's really interesting to be exposed to all these possible views of what should really be considered a minor thing. A name is just an identifying label used for distinction. I'm still me, and my name doesn't really have anything to do with me, it's just the easiest way to distinguish me from everyone else.  I find it especially interesting and ironic that (apparently) my biggest hurdle will come from my financial institutions. I would have thought that they would actually care the least, not the most. My money doesn't have my signature written on it why on earth do they take such an interest in things as long as the money keeps flowing like always. Anyways thanks again for the heads up and the warning.

JohnnyBravo: Jesus Christ, you talk more than my wife. And, like my wife, all I heard was static. You sure you have testicles?

I can't help it, I just really really love my GF. Talking about her like I have been in this thread makes me happy, because it's a whole bunch of time I get to spend thinking of her =3

I love her so much.

Uchiha_Cycliste: JohnnyBravo: Jesus Christ, you talk more than my wife. And, like my wife, all I heard was static. You sure you have testicles?

I can't help it, I just really really love my GF. Talking about her like I have been in this thread makes me happy, because it's a whole bunch of time I get to spend thinking of her =3

I love her so much.

Personally, I think that's great.  I'm happy for you, and everyone else who has a good relationship.

I've done nothing but make sarcastic remarks in this thread, but I really do feel happy for you.  Cheers!

FloydA: Uchiha_Cycliste: JohnnyBravo: Jesus Christ, you talk more than my wife. And, like my wife, all I heard was static. You sure you have testicles?

I can't help it, I just really really love my GF. Talking about her like I have been in this thread makes me happy, because it's a whole bunch of time I get to spend thinking of her =3

I love her so much.

Personally, I think that's great.  I'm happy for you, and everyone else who has a good relationship.

I've done nothing but make sarcastic remarks in this thread, but I really do feel happy for you.  Cheers!

=3 thanks!

Giant Clown Shoe: Uchiha_Cycliste: JohnnyBravo: Jesus Christ, you talk more than my wife. And, like my wife, all I heard was static. You sure you have testicles?

I can't help it, I just really really love my GF. Talking about her like I have been in this thread makes me happy, because it's a whole bunch of time I get to spend thinking of her =3

I love her so much.

[www.geekosystem.com image 550x330]

/they don't grow back

I assure you, your accusations are just plain nuts.

Uchiha_Cycliste: Giant Clown Shoe: Uchiha_Cycliste: JohnnyBravo: Jesus Christ, you talk more than my wife. And, like my wife, all I heard was static. You sure you have testicles?

I can't help it, I just really really love my GF. Talking about her like I have been in this thread makes me happy, because it's a whole bunch of time I get to spend thinking of her =3

I love her so much.

[www.geekosystem.com image 550x330]

/they don't grow back

I assure you, your accusations are just plain nuts.

Perhaps he's just feeling a bit testy.

B'stlla takes for f*cking ever to cook! Started at noon.

FloydA: Uchiha_Cycliste: Giant Clown Shoe: Uchiha_Cycliste: JohnnyBravo: Jesus Christ, you talk more than my wife. And, like my wife, all I heard was static. You sure you have testicles?

I can't help it, I just really really love my GF. Talking about her like I have been in this thread makes me happy, because it's a whole bunch of time I get to spend thinking of her =3

I love her so much.

[www.geekosystem.com image 550x330]

/they don't grow back

I assure you, your accusations are just plain nuts.

Perhaps he's just feeling a bit testy.

His jokes prostrated themselves.

AbbeySomeone: Uchiha_Cycliste: Great Janitor: I have a great marriage.  It's been a long one.  We recently celebrated our third anniversary.  I had to find a clever way to ask my parents what day I got married because I honestly couldn't remember.  I've only told my wife once that I love her.  She tells me quite often.  I respond with "I know" and "As well you should."  I do have a nickname for her.  Sometime's it's 'Kitchen biatch'.  She's short, so my other nickname for her is 'Person McNugget'.  Now I will admit, that second one is a rather new one.

I have improved her life and made her a better person.  She used to watch sports.  I have pointed out what a waste of time that was and shown her 'Star Trek'.  Now she knows all the Star Trek captains and the difference between a Galaxy Class starship and a Miranda class starship.  She has improved so much that she missed the superbowl this year.  As the person who's been improving her life, I felt proud of this.

It's really a great marriage, one to be envied...

Keep reaching for the spentMiles "achievement unlocked" you've got some work to do but you'll get there.

Janitor put some effort into it but it lacked a little something. I'll offer a 6/10 because I can feel the potential. I was hoping for a line about how her cooking has improved since he threw dinner in the trash until she learned to do better.
/I love Spentmiles.
//happy Uchica is deliriously in love!

I guess no one could possibly start as SpentMiles. He did do well enough that his homage was recognizable, that is a big step in the right direction. I think, I think I agree with your score as long as we agree that the scale is 0- wtfisthisshiat to 10- authentic SM prose.

and Uchiha *IS* deliriously in love.

tlchwi02: lack of warmth: Like Chris Christie? It worked for him.

yeah except my last name is of polish extract, has about 20 letters and is pronounced phonetically. if we went back to the original pronunciation it wouldn't be so bad (supposed to sound like a "sh") I've been sort of flirting with going back to the original pronunciation but never really gotten serious about it

Uchiha_Cycliste: that's really interesting.
It sounds like maybe things are partially automated for a woman that goes through this process, but not men? Hmm, if... *IF* gay marriage were to become legal across the nation I bet it would become significantly easier to do. But I don't think that will be happening soon =/
The way I think, both she and I would have a handful of stuff we have to do, but she has licenses and other medical stuff in addition. I can't help think that it would be a huger hassle for her, which makes me sad.

the issues I've seen tend to be banks or local government thinking your name change is due to some sort of "scam" or something of the sort. its really just because of the cultural prejudice we have against men doing it. I figure what we'll end up doing is she'll take my name, even though I'd prefer she just keep hers (and we could decide on the kids later, or even let them decide when they're old enough.) she is a bit traditional in that respect (although she's lobbying if we use my name that we start pronouncing it correctly)

I mentioned this to  notatrollorami but I think it's Ironic that financial institutions are the biggest pricks about name changes. They strike me as the people that should care the least, it's not like I ave to sign all my bills with my name, as long as the money keeps flowing and they keep getting their cut, one would think they couldn't care less what the name is of the person sending the dough their way.

FarKY502: Go screw yourself buddy...It's my god born American right to detest my marriage...

Then go and do so with ll your heart.

Benevolent Misanthrope: But seriously - why do married couples stay in these relationships if they're so farking awful?

a) Catholicism
b) tradition
c) money
d) shunning
e) fear of dying alone
f) medical insurance.

frankmigacz: He just got his first "Married Filing Jointly" tax refund. $5 that Wifey will be sick of his shiat first.

Yup.  Given what an amazingly acute dickberry he continues to demonstrate that he is, unless playing a character as masterfully as Stephen Colbert, she's gonna dump him pretty quick.

Uchiha_Cycliste: FloydA: Uchiha_Cycliste: Giant Clown Shoe: Uchiha_Cycliste: JohnnyBravo: Jesus Christ, you talk more than my wife. And, like my wife, all I heard was static. You sure you have testicles?

I can't help it, I just really really love my GF. Talking about her like I have been in this thread makes me happy, because it's a whole bunch of time I get to spend thinking of her =3

I love her so much.

[www.geekosystem.com image 550x330]

/they don't grow back

I assure you, your accusations are just plain nuts.

Perhaps he's just feeling a bit testy.

His jokes prostrated themselves.

I agree, but you must admit that it made a vast deferens to the thread.

Stupid article written by an ignorant douchebag, but whatever floats his boat...I've been married once and divorced once.  I'm living in sin with the love of my life that I met almost 20 years ago.  Will we get married?  Probably, but not for at least another 5 years until his son turns 18.  I will not take his name, nor will I merge finances, etc.  He knows this, bless him.  However, we live as man and wife, and have held ourselves out in public as such, so in Colorado, we're legally married.  I am not eager to jump back on to the marriage bandwagon anymore than he is, but there is something to be said of marriage, and although my experience was awful, I do love to read of my fellow Farkers and Farkettes sharing their happy and (probably) honest stories.