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(Fox News)   Fox's favorite 'perfectly married' douche is back to talk about how perfect his marriage is. "I'm a guy and...." let me stop you right there   (foxnews.com) divider line 268
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27127 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Mar 2013 at 11:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-03 02:30:12 PM

nucal: notatrollorami: Johnsnownw: My wife is a huge pain in the ass, and I love the hell out of her. That's the way it should be.

/Guy must have a boring sex life.


Hate to do it, but "this".  My wife of 15 years is cray cray and an unpredictable uncontrollable pain in the ass.  Guess what?  I have my own shortcomings she lives with too.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

///Plenty of sex.

////Helps that we both try to keep it together exercise wise and look pretty good for oldsters.

Out of curiosity - kids or no kids?


Two, 8 and 12.  Why do you ask?
 
2013-03-03 02:31:14 PM

Trillian Astra: I also attempted to listen to one of his stand-up shows and he sounds like a cross between Dane Cook and someone else equally as unfunny.


I agree that Dane Cook is an excellent point of comparison for "not funny." But in Dane Cook's defense (shudder) he's head and shoulders above anyone I've ever heard him explicitly compared with, this guy most definitely included.

There's a huge difference between setting the bar an inch above the ground and clearing it by a millimeter, which is what the Dane Cooks and  Two Broke Girlses of the comedy world do, and "comedians" who fundamentally misunderstand the nature of comedy. Crowder's kind of schtick is like watching someone who thinks they speak fluent Spanish because they memorized every word in a pocket dictionary. ("Hello! I be to have your morning-good! For your favor, my chestnuts is toasty this daybreak!" Actually, strike that analogy, because that sounds like it could be pretty funny.)

Damn, when I got up this morning I didn't think I'd be white-knighting Dane Cook. I need to go watch the last twenty minutes of  Mr. Brooks to cleanse the palate.
 
2013-03-03 02:35:23 PM
I've been checking out his articles. The article titles are pretty funny...but c'mon. This one, it sounds exactly like my redneck grampa when my uncle has him cornered and he's tired of arguing.

"Say what you want about George W. Bush, but the guy is a man's man. He means what he says, and he says what he means. Whether you agree with the Texan or not, at least one always knows where they stand with him."

This guy is not for real, is he??
 
2013-03-03 02:36:00 PM
My wife always comes home from girls night out horny. I always figure it's because they all complain about their husbands, and I'm the least bad.

/at least that's what I tell myself
 
2013-03-03 02:37:16 PM

notatrollorami: OK now I'm starting to think you're trolling.  She doesn't have to take your name, of course that's reasonable, but you're going to take hers?  Just go ahead and slice of your nads and hang them on a chain around her neck rather than be weakly metaphorical about it.


Yup. I seriously am.
Like I mentioned, it's something important to me because of the symbolism. It's also worth noting that for a very long time now... 20+ years, we have firmly believed in men and women, boys and girls being equal. There are some different dangly bits but that's about it. I just want our family to have the same last name, but which way it goes doesn't matter to me. And because of all the licensing she has and I don't it just makes more sense.

Why do you think it's any different that a girl taking a guys name, just opposite?
 
2013-03-03 02:38:33 PM
I complain about the soon to be Mrs Crazy when I'm hanging out with the guys. And the reason I do it is that she's not perfect. We've been dating for 3 years, living together for 2, and engaged for half a year, and I love her more every day. But still, she has some traits that annoy me. When I'm with her, I'm too busy staring at her like a love-struck puppy to notice, but when she's not there I can think enough to be bothered by those annoying traits. Also, I can't wait to be back with her to be annoyed some more.

I am capable of loving someone I see as a person instead of an ideal. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Stevie.
 
2013-03-03 02:38:41 PM

spentshells: Fat Mike is also a douche
And show pony but that's a good tune about a dirty white boy that can't admit he's part of the problem


So she was right? Or at least more right than I was?
Can you elaborate a little please so that I can understand better? thanks a ton.

\I plan to pass along everything I learn to her.
 
2013-03-03 02:39:59 PM

notatrollorami: nucal: notatrollorami: Johnsnownw: My wife is a huge pain in the ass, and I love the hell out of her. That's the way it should be.

/Guy must have a boring sex life.


Hate to do it, but "this".  My wife of 15 years is cray cray and an unpredictable uncontrollable pain in the ass.  Guess what?  I have my own shortcomings she lives with too.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

///Plenty of sex.

////Helps that we both try to keep it together exercise wise and look pretty good for oldsters.

Out of curiosity - kids or no kids?

Two, 8 and 12.  Why do you ask?


Just trying to figure out if lack of kids helped you keep it together.  Certainly changes the couple dynamic, that's for sure.
 
2013-03-03 02:40:13 PM

thamike: Wendy's Chili: What's this guy's fixation with other guys doing squats?


Those would look a lot less ridiculous without that stupid hat. Or that face.
 
2013-03-03 02:41:55 PM

El Dudereno: thamike: Wendy's Chili: What's this guy's fixation with other guys doing squats?

Those would look a lot less ridiculous without that stupid hat. Or that face.


I'm still wondering how many photographers Time had to go through before they found one who wouldn't burst into crippling peals of laughter.
 
2013-03-03 02:43:15 PM

NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

Yeah... There ya go. Good luck with that, kiddo.

I love how he speaks with all-encompassing knowledge on every topic he deigns to enlighten us about.

You're a douchebag. Just own it.


Why is he a 'douche bag'?
 
2013-03-03 02:46:24 PM

AlwaysRightBoy: Uchiha_Cycliste: NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

There are some cases where this is true.
For instance the deal I have going with my girlfriend. Though we've only been dating since July, we've been best friends forever. And for at least the last ten years we have had a deal worked out where if she tells me to do something I do it, and if she tells me not to do something I don't. No arguing, no discussion.
When she says you need to go to the hospital right now, I skedaddle to the closest hospital. When she says, no! you can't climb on that! I don't. I seem to lack that little voice that says 'hey, maybe that's not a good idea' so she provides it for me =D

\been best friends for almost 25 years (since we were 6)
\\been pretty deeply in love for at least a couple of years before we started dating. ♥

Good for you, and much happiness.
/been married to my best friend for 23 years... Dated her for 9 years before that


That's so awesome.
This is my third serious relationship and her first. I think there is really something extra special about us already having been best friends and already knowing everything there is to know about the other. There's none of the time spent worrying about comparability or what kind of a person this one really is, or what their childhood was like. Not to mention there is no stress about meeting the parents, since they already know me pretty well. Hell, technically our first date was the brunch the morning after my little sister's wedding, and we sat with my parents =/.
that's right, I was damn near 30 and the first date with the woman I love and plan to marry was also with my parents =(. though it was a little bit of fun because they weren't privy to our status change yet.
 
2013-03-03 02:47:54 PM
I have a great marriage.  It's been a long one.  We recently celebrated our third anniversary.  I had to find a clever way to ask my parents what day I got married because I honestly couldn't remember.  I've only told my wife once that I love her.  She tells me quite often.  I respond with "I know" and "As well you should."  I do have a nickname for her.  Sometime's it's 'Kitchen biatch'.  She's short, so my other nickname for her is 'Person McNugget'.  Now I will admit, that second one is a rather new one.

I have improved her life and made her a better person.  She used to watch sports.  I have pointed out what a waste of time that was and shown her 'Star Trek'.  Now she knows all the Star Trek captains and the difference between a Galaxy Class starship and a Miranda class starship.  She has improved so much that she missed the superbowl this year.  As the person who's been improving her life, I felt proud of this.

It's really a great marriage, one to be envied...
 
2013-03-03 02:50:31 PM

Donkey Hodie: In a couple of months I will celebrate my 20th wedding anniversary with my wife.  We still love each other, and get along great.  But the author hasn't lived long enough or had enough experience in the world if he thinks a spouse, even a loving, kind, funny, happy, cool, sexy one, will not ever be a pain in the ass.  I try not to disparage my wife in front of others, but he's in a fantasy land if he thinks a good marriage never has any arguments or times when one or both partners are not perfect.  Sometimes my wife has been a pain in my ass.  Sometimes I've been a pain her hers.  A good marriage is not one that never experiences difficulties, but one in which both partners work through them together when they do occur.


Basically, this. My husband and I will be married 32 years on April 1st, and we've been exclusively a couple for 37 years at the end of May (we had to wait five years until we were old enough to get married and take care of ourselves).

We've been pains in each other's asses on many occasions over the years, but the thing is, we *still* have never disparaged each other to our friends or co-workers or anyone else. We have disagreements, but we don't say to a friend "God, what a biatch my wife is sometimes!" or "He's such a prick when he gets on his high horse" or whatever.

I think the point about not running down your spouse to other people is a very good one. The more you think and say such things about someone you ostensibly love the easier it is to see them as a "biatch" or "prick".

This guy's a jerk, but that point stands, and that's coming from someone with a lot more "married years" under her belt.
 
2013-03-03 02:50:46 PM
Great Janitor: I have a great marriage.  It's been a long one.  We recently celebrated our third anniversary.  I had to find a clever way to ask my parents what day I got married because I honestly couldn't remember.  I've only told my wife once that I love her.  She tells me quite often.  I respond with "I know" and "As well you should."  I do have a nickname for her.  Sometime's it's 'Kitchen biatch'.  She's short, so my other nickname for her is 'Person McNugget'.  Now I will admit, that second one is a rather new one.

I have improved her life and made her a better person.  She used to watch sports.  I have pointed out what a waste of time that was and shown her 'Star Trek'.  Now she knows all the Star Trek captains and the difference between a Galaxy Class starship and a Miranda class starship.  She has improved so much that she missed the superbowl this year.  As the person who's been improving her life, I felt proud of this.

It's really a great marriage, one to be envied...

Keep reaching for the spentMiles "achievement unlocked" you've got some work to do but you'll get there.
 
2013-03-03 02:51:35 PM
He may be a douche in the way he presents his point, but he does have one. I married a dud the first time around. By the end I really hated the guy. When I got divorced I promised myself I wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone who wasn't right for me. The big sign that I am not doing that now is that I really don't have anything to complain about. My fiancée is a wonderful fit for me. I wouldn't be marrying him if I thought he was a pain in the ass. If I spent most of my time talking badly about him the relationship would be over. He isn't perfect, and neither am I, but we are perfect for eachother. After 2 years of being together, and 17 years of knowing eachother we are still really happy. I spent many years complaining about someone who was wrong for me, and have watched a few friends do the same. Now I could go on and on about how great my so is. I don't though. Who the hell wants to sit and listen to that either?
 
2013-03-03 02:53:31 PM

El Dudereno: My wife always comes home from girls night out horny. I always figure it's because they all complain about their husbands, and I'm the least bad.

/at least that's what I tell myself


Thats cause she let the cute guy at the bar fingerbang her in the parking lot to get her ready for you.
 
2013-03-03 02:56:37 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: notatrollorami: OK now I'm starting to think you're trolling.  She doesn't have to take your name, of course that's reasonable, but you're going to take hers?  Just go ahead and slice of your nads and hang them on a chain around her neck rather than be weakly metaphorical about it.

Yup. I seriously am.
Like I mentioned, it's something important to me because of the symbolism. It's also worth noting that for a very long time now... 20+ years, we have firmly believed in men and women, boys and girls being equal. There are some different dangly bits but that's about it. I just want our family to have the same last name, but which way it goes doesn't matter to me. And because of all the licensing she has and I don't it just makes more sense.

Why do you think it's any different that a girl taking a guys name, just opposite?



I don't think it is fundamentally different for either gender.  The reality, though, is that you are buying a lifetimes worth of perception problems when dealing with other people.

I was a stay at home dad for a few years, which was absolutely wonderful.  I loved all the time just being a dad; it just suits me.  She on the other hand is fond of the corporate rat race while I hate it and taking a few years off when the kids were small gave me the opportunity to restart with a contracting career I enjoy.  So it was best for US.  But I was astonished at how much it changed the perception of me and us from the outside, including long time friends.

It doesn't matter if it should be that way or not, this is the society we live in and it's draining to run counter to it.  For that situation and for my wife and I and that was the right decision to make, but there were real social repercussions far beyond what I anticipated.  I wouldn't deal with that for a name, personally,  But you're you and I'm not.
 
2013-03-03 02:56:42 PM

5monkeys: He may be a douche in the way he presents his point, but he does have one. I married a dud the first time around. By the end I really hated the guy. When I got divorced I promised myself I wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone who wasn't right for me. The big sign that I am not doing that now is that I really don't have anything to complain about. My fiancée is a wonderful fit for me. I wouldn't be marrying him if I thought he was a pain in the ass. If I spent most of my time talking badly about him the relationship would be over. He isn't perfect, and neither am I, but we are perfect for eachother. After 2 years of being together, and 17 years of knowing eachother we are still really happy. I spent many years complaining about someone who was wrong for me, and have watched a few friends do the same. Now I could go on and on about how great my so is. I don't though. Who the hell wants to sit and listen to that either?


Congrats! I wish you a long happy life and marriage and all that jazz. ♥
 
2013-03-03 02:59:59 PM

5monkeys: I could go on and on about how great my so is. I don't though. Who the hell wants to sit and listen to that either?


I'll make you a deal. You listen to me talk about how amazing my fiancee is, and I'll listen to you. I'll even nod at all the right times!

I think a lot of my friends are sick of it. Not that I plan to stop - when you've got a woman as great as her, it's hard not to brag.
 
2013-03-03 03:01:12 PM
FTFA: Imagine actually thinking that I married somebody better than myself.

Actually as a happily married man who has been married since 2001 and has two young daughters, I can very easily imagine you married somebody better than you. I don't find that hard to believe at all. I also don't find it hard to believe you are pedestal-izing her.
 
2013-03-03 03:03:33 PM
"The gentlemen had certainly never heard, nor ever expected to hear, a response like that from "one of the guys" for as long as he'd live."

This statement is unbelievably naive, presumptuous, pompous, and grammatically incorrect. Fox News delivers.
 
2013-03-03 03:04:41 PM

silvervial: I think the point about not running down your spouse to other people is a very good one. The more you think and say such things about someone you ostensibly love the easier it is to see them as a "biatch" or "prick".


The point is a good one. I don't say anything about my wife to anyone that I wouldn't say to her face. But the fact the author thinks this is some sort of revelation and is bragging on the internet doesn't make him any less of a douche. A asshole weatherman might be right when he says the sun is coming up tomorrow, but that doesn't make him any less of an asshole.
 
2013-03-03 03:07:40 PM

El Dudereno: My wife always comes home from girls night out horny. I always figure it's because they all complain about their husbands, and I'm the least bad.


I have my own theories, but don't let me interrupt. I guess what I'm saying is.....go on...
 
2013-03-03 03:08:14 PM

notatrollorami: Uchiha_Cycliste: notatrollorami: OK now I'm starting to think you're trolling.  She doesn't have to take your name, of course that's reasonable, but you're going to take hers?  Just go ahead and slice of your nads and hang them on a chain around her neck rather than be weakly metaphorical about it.

Yup. I seriously am.
Like I mentioned, it's something important to me because of the symbolism. It's also worth noting that for a very long time now... 20+ years, we have firmly believed in men and women, boys and girls being equal. There are some different dangly bits but that's about it. I just want our family to have the same last name, but which way it goes doesn't matter to me. And because of all the licensing she has and I don't it just makes more sense.

Why do you think it's any different that a girl taking a guys name, just opposite?


I don't think it is fundamentally different for either gender.  The reality, though, is that you are buying a lifetimes worth of perception problems when dealing with other people.

I was a stay at home dad for a few years, which was absolutely wonderful.  I loved all the time just being a dad; it just suits me.  She on the other hand is fond of the corporate rat race while I hate it and taking a few years off when the kids were small gave me the opportunity to restart with a contracting career I enjoy.  So it was best for US.  But I was astonished at how much it changed the perception of me and us from the outside, including long time friends.

It doesn't matter if it should be that way or not, this is the society we live in and it's draining to run counter to it.  For that situation and for my wife and I and that was the right decision to make, but there were real social repercussions far beyond what I anticipated.  I wouldn't deal with that for a name, personally,  But you're you and I'm not.


I hadn't even begun to consider something like that. I suppose part of me can't imagine it being a problem. However, I will default to the fact you almost certainly have more life experience than me and it's something that I should take into account and steel myself against. My thoughts were that I know my friends understand me and will totally get what I'm doing. I assume that my coworkers wwon't care much because we are all excessively pedantic as engineers and all I have to do is explain to those who ask or care and it should be cool.
My mom thinks my dad will blow a gasket, but fark 'm. I'm still me and if he takes issue to this I think that would be just absurd.
 
2013-03-03 03:13:11 PM
Poor, poor Steven Crowder. Not only is he delusional, but he is an idiot. I have known those types since middle school. The ones that would have their mom dye their jocks the team color, the ones that swore abstinence until marriage, the ones who belonged to Fellowship of Christian Athletes, the ones that dated the prudish straight A girl with her hair in a bun and sweater covering her tits in July. So now Steve married the girl of his dreams and absolutely adores her because he got his first piece of pie in his life. Maybe it was her first, too, but since she got a little feel for it and quickly figured out he had no idea how to use his tool, she will find somebody that does. I am 99.998% positive Mrs. Crowder is going to pulling the Reading RR in no time and those guys in the locker will not be able to look at him without laughing.

(Smoked with the cool kids)
 
2013-03-03 03:14:46 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Yup. I seriously am.
Like I mentioned, it's something important to me because of the symbolism. It's also worth noting that for a very long time now... 20+ years, we have firmly believed in men and women, boys and girls being equal. There are some different dangly bits but that's about it. I just want our family to have the same last name, but which way it goes doesn't matter to me. And because of all the licensing she has and I don't it just makes more sense.


if it wasn't such a pain in the arse i'd take my GFs name. her name is easy to spell and pronounce and my name is a Frankenstein born out of ellis island. but its a not easy to do and costs a lot for a man, so i'll just keep my poorly pronounced and oddly spelled moniker
 
2013-03-03 03:16:47 PM

wagnerism: For those of you that want to know what it's like to be in a serious relationship with a woman - I just found out that I'm on the third day of an argument that I didn't know I was having.


A girlfriend was once shiatty with me for three days because I was mean to her in a dream.
 
2013-03-03 03:17:25 PM

tlchwi02: Uchiha_Cycliste: Yup. I seriously am.
Like I mentioned, it's something important to me because of the symbolism. It's also worth noting that for a very long time now... 20+ years, we have firmly believed in men and women, boys and girls being equal. There are some different dangly bits but that's about it. I just want our family to have the same last name, but which way it goes doesn't matter to me. And because of all the licensing she has and I don't it just makes more sense.

if it wasn't such a pain in the arse i'd take my GFs name. her name is easy to spell and pronounce and my name is a Frankenstein born out of ellis island. but its a not easy to do and costs a lot for a man, so i'll just keep my poorly pronounced and oddly spelled moniker


really?
Can you elaborate please? I'm really curious and interested.
 
2013-03-03 03:18:11 PM

bratface: NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

Yeah... There ya go. Good luck with that, kiddo.

I love how he speaks with all-encompassing knowledge on every topic he deigns to enlighten us about.

You're a douchebag. Just own it.

Why is he a 'douche bag'?


I think that's been studied exhaustively in this thread.
 
2013-03-03 03:18:39 PM

Wyalt Derp: wagnerism: For those of you that want to know what it's like to be in a serious relationship with a woman - I just found out that I'm on the third day of an argument that I didn't know I was having.

A girlfriend was once shiatty with me for three days because I was mean to her in a dream.


did she also believe in astrology?
 
2013-03-03 03:19:21 PM

Wyalt Derp: A girlfriend was once shiatty with me for three days because I was mean to her in a dream.


She did you a favor by giving you three reasons why she's not wife material.
 
2013-03-03 03:23:48 PM

silvervial: Donkey Hodie: In a couple of months I will celebrate my 20th wedding anniversary with my wife.  We still love each other, and get along great.  But the author hasn't lived long enough or had enough experience in the world if he thinks a spouse, even a loving, kind, funny, happy, cool, sexy one, will not ever be a pain in the ass.  I try not to disparage my wife in front of others, but he's in a fantasy land if he thinks a good marriage never has any arguments or times when one or both partners are not perfect.  Sometimes my wife has been a pain in my ass.  Sometimes I've been a pain her hers.  A good marriage is not one that never experiences difficulties, but one in which both partners work through them together when they do occur.

Basically, this. My husband and I will be married 32 years on April 1st, and we've been exclusively a couple for 37 years at the end of May (we had to wait five years until we were old enough to get married and take care of ourselves).

We've been pains in each other's asses on many occasions over the years, but the thing is, we *still* have never disparaged each other to our friends or co-workers or anyone else. We have disagreements, but we don't say to a friend "God, what a biatch my wife is sometimes!" or "He's such a prick when he gets on his high horse" or whatever.

I think the point about not running down your spouse to other people is a very good one. The more you think and say such things about someone you ostensibly love the easier it is to see them as a "biatch" or "prick".

This guy's a jerk, but that point stands, and that's coming from someone with a lot more "married years" under her belt.


I think these two post have more good information than entire FA.  Ms. Gough and I will celebrate our 41st anniversary this summer.  We've followed Paul Newman's advice:  "we try to fix the toaster instead of throwing it away, and when Joanne and I get in trouble we try to fix it "
 
2013-03-03 03:25:39 PM

Gough: Ms. Gough and I will celebrate our 41st anniversary this summer.


Holy crap! You're my hero
 
2013-03-03 03:26:48 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: really?
Can you elaborate please? I'm really curious and interested.


technically its supposed to be the same as a woman taking a mans name, and on paper it should be as simple. the problem is that because its still very unusual it seems (anecdotally) like there are a lot more problems where government and banks and other institutions put you through the ringer. maybe its just because the anecdotes are currently popular to print and 99% of people don't have a problem, but my name isn't so terrible that I want to take the risk
 
2013-03-03 03:27:53 PM

thamike: bratface: NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

Yeah... There ya go. Good luck with that, kiddo.

I love how he speaks with all-encompassing knowledge on every topic he deigns to enlighten us about.

You're a douchebag. Just own it.

Why is he a 'douche bag'?

I think that's been studied exhaustively in this thread.


I think his use of the phrase "urinate-and-moan" really sums it up nicely. What kind of worthless prick needs that vulgar phrase so badly that they must use it, but can't bring themselves to use it honestly?
 
2013-03-03 03:33:12 PM

supayoda: FloydA: I never had a bad thing to say about any of my exes for the first six months we were together either.

That was my first thought. "Go ahead, idiot, and shine your newlywed wisdom all over the men who have 20-30 years in and be sure to share the secrets of how you've lasted this long." Even before my husband and I were married, I could tell you that our relationship wasn't perfect. No relationship is. And me venting or joking to my girlfriends (or him to his guy friends) is a perfectly normal and healthy way of getting that out. It has abso-farking-lutely nothing to do with peer pressure.

But yeah... I guess if my husband and I held it all in and then let it occasionally explode in some glorious screaming match every few days, we'd have a much better marriage. Personally, I prefer not having to sneak around my house to avoid the other people living in it. Having a husband who's more interested ripping off my yoga pants than griping about how I burned dinner doesn't hurt, either.

So I'll conclude... Either he's lying about how perfect things are, he's delusional, or this thing has maybe another year or two before it ends with one of them banging the neighbor and/or a murder/suicide.

/Married 10 years in May.


Why is your husband wearing your yoga pants in the first place?  Doesn't he have his own?  (Sorry, but I couldn't resist.  Congrats on having a good marriage, I'm still waiting for Faith Hill to dump Tim McGraw.)
 
2013-03-03 03:34:12 PM

thurstonxhowell: I think his use of the phrase "urinate-and-moan" really sums it up nicely. What kind of worthless prick needs that vulgar phrase so badly that they must use it, but can't bring themselves to use it honestly?


i47.tinypic.com

"I'm a raving douchebag!"
 
2013-03-03 03:35:24 PM

eddiesocket: Why are people mad at this guy? Because he won't talk crap about his wife to strangers at the gym?  What a  monster.
Yeah sure, he probably won't feel quite this schoompy once he's been married longer, but the general idea--don't hate your spouse, don't talk shiat about them in public--is a pretty sound one, I think.


Because most them are a bunch of no-hope losers who screwed up their own marriages...?
 
2013-03-03 03:35:56 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: really?
Can you elaborate please? I'm really curious and interested.


oh and I don't want my poor GF to have my name. her name starts with "ch" and my last name also does. it would sound weird.
 
2013-03-03 03:37:31 PM

tlchwi02: Uchiha_Cycliste: really?
Can you elaborate please? I'm really curious and interested.

technically its supposed to be the same as a woman taking a mans name, and on paper it should be as simple. the problem is that because its still very unusual it seems (anecdotally) like there are a lot more problems where government and banks and other institutions put you through the ringer. maybe its just because the anecdotes are currently popular to print and 99% of people don't have a problem, but my name isn't so terrible that I want to take the risk


that's really interesting.
It sounds like maybe things are partially automated for a woman that goes through this process, but not men? Hmm, if... *IF* gay marriage were to become legal across the nation I bet it would become significantly easier to do. But I don't think that will be happening soon =/
The way I think, both she and I would have a handful of stuff we have to do, but she has licenses and other medical stuff in addition. I can't help think that it would be a huger hassle for her, which makes me sad.
 
2013-03-03 03:39:03 PM

I should be in the kitchen: If your spouse is such a horrible person, what does that say about you for marrying her/him, hmmm? I think it's natural to want to vent on occasion but if all you have to say is negative, you're a piece of shiat.


This.

I don't think the author is complaining about men who on occasion have a grumble about their wives, but rather the ball slapped men who must put down their wives just because it seems to be the thing to do.

Ball slapped, by the way,  is very similar to pussy whipped but rather than meekly just doing what their girlfriends want,  these men do anything their male mates want even though they do not want to.
 
2013-03-03 03:40:31 PM

tlchwi02: Uchiha_Cycliste: really?
Can you elaborate please? I'm really curious and interested.

oh and I don't want my poor GF to have my name. her name starts with "ch" and my last name also does. it would sound weird.


Like Chris Christie?  It worked for him.
 
2013-03-03 03:41:48 PM
That guy is a comedian? Does he do stand-up where he gets on stage and talks down to the audience and dispenses advice that he's woefully unqualified to give? Sounds hilarious.
 
2013-03-03 03:42:49 PM

Gough: silvervial: Donkey Hodie: In a couple of months I will celebrate my 20th wedding anniversary with my wife.  We still love each other, and get along great.  But the author hasn't lived long enough or had enough experience in the world if he thinks a spouse, even a loving, kind, funny, happy, cool, sexy one, will not ever be a pain in the ass.  I try not to disparage my wife in front of others, but he's in a fantasy land if he thinks a good marriage never has any arguments or times when one or both partners are not perfect.  Sometimes my wife has been a pain in my ass.  Sometimes I've been a pain her hers.  A good marriage is not one that never experiences difficulties, but one in which both partners work through them together when they do occur.

Basically, this. My husband and I will be married 32 years on April 1st, and we've been exclusively a couple for 37 years at the end of May (we had to wait five years until we were old enough to get married and take care of ourselves).

We've been pains in each other's asses on many occasions over the years, but the thing is, we *still* have never disparaged each other to our friends or co-workers or anyone else. We have disagreements, but we don't say to a friend "God, what a biatch my wife is sometimes!" or "He's such a prick when he gets on his high horse" or whatever.

I think the point about not running down your spouse to other people is a very good one. The more you think and say such things about someone you ostensibly love the easier it is to see them as a "biatch" or "prick".

This guy's a jerk, but that point stands, and that's coming from someone with a lot more "married years" under her belt.

I think these two post have more good information than entire FA.  Ms. Gough and I will celebrate our 41st anniversary this summer.  We've followed Paul Newman's advice:  "we try to fix the toaster instead of throwing it away, and when Joanne and I get in trouble we try to fix it "



...and never go to bed, work or where ever angry.

Total of 32 years married. (Married young...widowed...married again and I am a very lucky man).  I would never talk ill of my wife to others.

/congratulations on your 41st.  That needs to happen more often in marriages.
 
2013-03-03 03:44:01 PM
Who says you have to be married to be "happy"?
 
2013-03-03 03:49:15 PM

lack of warmth: Like Chris Christie? It worked for him.


yeah except my last name is of polish extract, has about 20 letters and is pronounced phonetically. if we went back to the original pronunciation it wouldn't be so bad (supposed to sound like a "sh") I've been sort of flirting with going back to the original pronunciation but never really gotten serious about it

Uchiha_Cycliste: that's really interesting.
It sounds like maybe things are partially automated for a woman that goes through this process, but not men? Hmm, if... *IF* gay marriage were to become legal across the nation I bet it would become significantly easier to do. But I don't think that will be happening soon =/
The way I think, both she and I would have a handful of stuff we have to do, but she has licenses and other medical stuff in addition. I can't help think that it would be a huger hassle for her, which makes me sad.


the issues I've seen tend to be banks or local government thinking your name change is due to some sort of "scam" or something of the sort. its really just because of the cultural prejudice we have against men doing it. I figure what we'll end up doing is she'll take my name, even though I'd prefer she just keep hers (and we could decide on the kids later, or even let them decide when they're old enough.) she is a bit traditional in that respect (although she's lobbying if we use my name that we start pronouncing it correctly)
 
2013-03-03 03:49:56 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: notatrollorami: Uchiha_Cycliste: notatrollorami: OK now I'm starting to think you're trolling.  She doesn't have to take your name, of course that's reasonable, but you're going to take hers?  Just go ahead and slice of your nads and hang them on a chain around her neck rather than be weakly metaphorical about it.

Yup. I seriously am.
Like I mentioned, it's something important to me because of the symbolism. It's also worth noting that for a very long time now... 20+ years, we have firmly believed in men and women, boys and girls being equal. There are some different dangly bits but that's about it. I just want our family to have the same last name, but which way it goes doesn't matter to me. And because of all the licensing she has and I don't it just makes more sense.

Why do you think it's any different that a girl taking a guys name, just opposite?


I don't think it is fundamentally different for either gender.  The reality, though, is that you are buying a lifetimes worth of perception problems when dealing with other people.

I was a stay at home dad for a few years, which was absolutely wonderful.  I loved all the time just being a dad; it just suits me.  She on the other hand is fond of the corporate rat race while I hate it and taking a few years off when the kids were small gave me the opportunity to restart with a contracting career I enjoy.  So it was best for US.  But I was astonished at how much it changed the perception of me and us from the outside, including long time friends.

It doesn't matter if it should be that way or not, this is the society we live in and it's draining to run counter to it.  For that situation and for my wife and I and that was the right decision to make, but there were real social repercussions far beyond what I anticipated.  I wouldn't deal with that for a name, personally,  But you're you and I'm not.

I hadn't even begun to consider something like that. I suppose part of me can't imagine it being a problem. However, I w ...


Your assumption that your coworkers (and presumably by extension your neighbors, acquaintances, and UPS guy) will not care is regrettably false.  That's what I failed to anticipate.  Because the decision you're considering is atypical it will become your defining attribute.  There's the one armed guy, the cat lady, the midget, the guy with the mullet.  You will be the "guy who took his wifes name".  And the inevitable underpinnings of the conversation that will occur thousands of times as soon as you walk away will be about whether this indicates you are perhaps a nice and considerate husband or a shrinking violet whose wife wears the pants or if you were actively working to end your family name.  Which, BTW, will be the real reason your dad will be upset whether he can effectively communicate it or not.  It will be something he either tries to hide or ignore or the subject of shame and speculation among his peer group.  It's just the nature of going against the grain.

I'm not trying to convince you to change your mind.  At all.  I'm just saying you owe it to yourself and your soon to be wife to really think/talk through the reality of the situation rather than blithely dismissing the repercussions of such a decision.  And if you do take her name be especially wary of gradually developing over-machismo attributes to counteract the inevitable perception of emasculation you will encounter.

Best of luck though man.  Marriage (propertly fed and watered) can make your life better and more meaningful than anything you can possible experience as an individual.

//If your dad is a good guy try to be gentle breaking the news.  Whether justified or not on the basis of names meaning anything, he'll probably take it a lot better if you can make him believe and understand you're not doing it to slight the family name.
 
2013-03-03 03:51:45 PM
Yeah, this guy's been married all of seven months. As much as I think in general he has a good point (some guys are pretty relentless about badmouthing the wife), he hasn't even gotten to the hard part yet and he's criticizing guys who have been in the hard part for 5, 10, 20 years. Seven months, fer reals?! He might as well call from his honeymoon while catching his breath between farks and tell all guys they're jerks for badmouthing their wives or marriage. Total dick move.

And notice he conveniently left this tidbit out of his column. He didn't bring it up in the interview either, the anchor had to ask him.
 
2013-03-03 03:57:07 PM

notatrollorami: /If your dad is a good guy try to be gentle breaking the news.  Whether justified or not on the basis of names meaning anything, he'll probably take it a lot better if you can make him believe and understand you're not doing it to slight the family name.


in a lot of ways, my dad isn't a good guy =/

\I plan to respond to the rest, but I'm so close to FINALLY finishing peeling all these almonds so I'm gonna finish that then come back to here =F

\\frigging pound of almonds.
 
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