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(Fox News)   Fox's favorite 'perfectly married' douche is back to talk about how perfect his marriage is. "I'm a guy and...." let me stop you right there   (foxnews.com) divider line 268
    More: Obvious, hairline  
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27137 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Mar 2013 at 11:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-03 11:05:13 AM
After reading the entire article I came to this part:

Steven Crowder is a comedian and Fox News contributor.

which explained everything.  Comedy gold.
 
2013-03-03 11:24:18 AM
I find this alleged guy to have an extremely punchable face.

And fapable wife.
 
2013-03-03 11:29:44 AM
From his Wikipedia page: He was married in August 2012

Snicker.
 
2013-03-03 11:41:01 AM
A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

Yeah... There ya go. Good luck with that, kiddo.

I love how he speaks with all-encompassing knowledge on every topic he deigns to enlighten us about.

You're a douchebag. Just own it.
 
2013-03-03 11:41:37 AM

rumpelstiltskin: From his Wikipedia page: He was married in August 2012

Snicker.


They are probably still having sex, even.
 
2013-03-03 11:49:42 AM
Not only is it often as disingenuous as Joe Biden's hairline, but it's incredibly harmful

 Leave the jokes for the funny people, please.
 
2013-03-03 11:51:01 AM
That's disgusting

A married guy who won't disparage his spouse.

Utterly awful
 
2013-03-03 11:52:41 AM
The future Mrs titwrench is a huge pain in my ass. If she wasn't I wouldn't get anything done.
 
2013-03-03 11:53:14 AM
"What kind of an idiot are you to marry a person that you think is an absolute moron?"

Somebody looking for a soul mate?
 
2013-03-03 11:54:16 AM

CujoQuarrel: That's disgusting

A married guy who won't disparage his spouse.

Utterly awful


I never had a bad thing to say about any of my exes for the first six months we were together either.
 
2013-03-03 11:55:19 AM

cmunic8r99: rumpelstiltskin: From his Wikipedia page: He was married in August 2012

Snicker.

They are probably still having sex, even.


With each other, even. That won't last. He'll have a column in a year or three complaining about the cleanliness in Chinese massage parlors or bathroom stalls.
 
2013-03-03 11:56:03 AM
He just got his first "Married Filing Jointly" tax refund. $5 that Wifey will be sick of his shiat first.
 
2013-03-03 11:57:39 AM
Single guy here, reporting with popcorn.
 
2013-03-03 11:57:57 AM
So women never complain about their husbands to each other? Riiiight.
 
2013-03-03 12:00:29 PM
"I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess."
 
2013-03-03 12:01:25 PM

titwrench: The future Mrs titwrench is a huge pain in my ass. If she wasn't I wouldn't get anything done.


This.
 
2013-03-03 12:02:07 PM
I used to be a pain in my wife's butt then I started using a better lube
 
2013-03-03 12:02:51 PM
My gut reaction after reading TFA was, "...his wife is cheating on him."
Why? Because when you write an article like that, the universe can't resist. It has a dick-ish sense of humor.
 
2013-03-03 12:03:20 PM
He's only been married six months, and he's an expert on marital relationships? I caught a gecko in the summer and released it back outside, yet I'm not calling myself a doctor of zoology.

Come back in forty years.
 
2013-03-03 12:03:28 PM
My wife is a huge pain in the ass, and I love the hell out of her. That's the way it should be.

/Guy must have a boring sex life.
 
2013-03-03 12:03:33 PM

VoodooTaco: titwrench: The future Mrs titwrench is a huge pain in my ass. If she wasn't I wouldn't get anything done.

This.


Carrot AND stick.
Cna't have one with out the other.
 
2013-03-03 12:03:34 PM
www.popcrunch.com

Speaking of hot wives...
 
2013-03-03 12:04:08 PM
Somebody give this douche a thatsthejoke.jpg.

And it's this douche:

cdn.breitbart.com
 
2013-03-03 12:06:28 PM

cmunic8r99: rumpelstiltskin: From his Wikipedia page: He was married in August 2012

Snicker.

They are probably still having sex, even.


But not with each other.
 
2013-03-03 12:06:44 PM

rumpelstiltskin: From his Wikipedia page: He was married in August 2012

Snicker.


Damn, that's bad...I'vebeen married longer than him (April 2011).

I can see where he is TRYING to come from, but he's a dumb ass for thinking wives don't bad mouth their husbands too. Works both ways.

Hell, my man and I have PLENTY we could diss each other about to other people:

-I'm too fat, he's too thin
-He's from California, I'm from Louisiana (This fact makes it FUN when we watch "Cops" together)
-He's lazy about getting stuff done around the house, I biatch and complain too much

and I could go on.

But why biatch and moan to OTHER people to fit in to the stereotype of "oh its such drag being married". OR go into the "Oh I have such a perfect marriage" stereotype.

The fact is, married or not, you got two people living together under one roof. You are gonna find shiat that you can't stand about the other person. You have shiat you love about the person. The only time it gets out of hand is when (and this is just IMHO) no one is communicating that very fact. Come to a compromise or something.It's not that hard!
 
2013-03-03 12:07:16 PM
He won't say anything bad about her, but certainly he lets his fists do all the talking.
 
2013-03-03 12:08:58 PM
"Oh shut the F**k up!" would be my only reply to that guy.
 
2013-03-03 12:10:38 PM
I'm looking for a girl who knows how to make croissants. Good ones.
That would be unbelievably awesome.
 
2013-03-03 12:12:33 PM
If you think your wife, or really anyone you are very close to, is perfect and beyond criticism then you don't actually know them very well. Any two people who live together are going to be out of sync about some things. That's just the nature of not being identical people. That is why people biatch about their spouses because everyone has something they don't like about them. It's the same reason they complain about bad weather to each other. It is a natural and common problem. This guy is wearing blinders but he's probably right that his wife is too good for him.

/or he could just be extremely submissive
//not that there's anything wrong with that with the right dom
 
2013-03-03 12:13:08 PM
He's not complaining - but she probably is.
 
2013-03-03 12:13:20 PM
This reminds me of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.  You're in love, God bless you, you know nothing, or something along those lines.

/DNRTFA  (skimmed, which was plenty)
 
2013-03-03 12:14:48 PM

offmymeds: So women never complain about their husbands to each other? Riiiight.


It's not just that; the stuff they say is a complete over-share. Mrs Clam comes home from knitting group with complete horror stories about what these chicks say about their dudes. I can't imagine saying this crap to my best friend, let alone some random people I hardly knew.

Meanwhile, I have never actually heard a guy biatch about his wife. Maybe it's because I don't hang out with enough guys, or maybe it's because my guy friends are gentlemen, or maybe because only one of us has been divorced so far, and he refused to say anything bad about his ex. I like to think it's just part of that guys-will-talk-about-anything-except-their-feelings-and-relationships thing. And that's fine with me.
 
2013-03-03 12:15:37 PM

NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.


There are some cases where this is true.
For instance the deal I have going with my girlfriend. Though we've only been dating since July, we've been best friends forever. And for at least the last ten years we have had a deal worked out where if she tells me to do something I do it, and if she tells me not to do something I don't. No arguing, no discussion.
When she says you need to go to the hospital right now, I skedaddle to the closest hospital. When she says, no! you can't climb on that! I don't. I seem to lack that little voice that says 'hey, maybe that's not a good idea' so she provides it for me =D

\been best friends for almost 25 years (since we were 6)
\\been pretty deeply in love for at least a couple of years before we started dating. ♥
 
2013-03-03 12:16:13 PM

edmo: "What kind of an idiot are you to marry a person that you think is an absolute moron?"

Somebody looking for a soul mate?


Can't.Compete.With.Biblical.Comparisons.

Well played Sir, well played indeed.
 
2013-03-03 12:16:54 PM
I'm very sorry that the article writer was already caught cheating on his wife already, and the article itself is sort of a nice start to kiss and make up.
 
2013-03-03 12:17:28 PM
Why does it say Peter Johnson Jr. above the headline?

Peter...Johnson...Junior
 
2013-03-03 12:17:37 PM
She's standing right behind you, isn't she?
 
2013-03-03 12:18:11 PM

rumpelstiltskin: From his Wikipedia page: He was married in August 2012

Snicker.


This. Sorry,  but I'm not taking marriage advice from someone who is still basically on their honeymoon. I might as well take driving tips from my 14 year-old son. He has a drivers license now, so he must be an expert, right?
 
2013-03-03 12:21:39 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

There are some cases where this is true.
For instance the deal I have going with my girlfriend. Though we've only been dating since July, we've been best friends forever. And for at least the last ten years we have had a deal worked out where if she tells me to do something I do it, and if she tells me not to do something I don't. No arguing, no discussion.
When she says you need to go to the hospital right now, I skedaddle to the closest hospital. When she says, no! you can't climb on that! I don't. I seem to lack that little voice that says 'hey, maybe that's not a good idea' so she provides it for me =D

\been best friends for almost 25 years (since we were 6)
\\been pretty deeply in love for at least a couple of years before we started dating. ♥


In other words, you say "Yes dear."  There's only two ways a wife is perfect.  Either you're submissive and do everything she says.  Or she's submissive and does everything you say.  Any other way you disagree and no one's perfect.
 
2013-03-03 12:22:46 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: NewportBarGuy: A man-child who says he needs a woman to be a better man.

There are some cases where this is true.
For instance the deal I have going with my girlfriend. Though we've only been dating since July, we've been best friends forever. And for at least the last ten years we have had a deal worked out where if she tells me to do something I do it, and if she tells me not to do something I don't. No arguing, no discussion.
When she says you need to go to the hospital right now, I skedaddle to the closest hospital. When she says, no! you can't climb on that! I don't. I seem to lack that little voice that says 'hey, maybe that's not a good idea' so she provides it for me =D

\been best friends for almost 25 years (since we were 6)
\\been pretty deeply in love for at least a couple of years before we started dating. ♥


damn, it's a bit dusty here in casa de la mafiageek all the sudden!
 
2013-03-03 12:22:49 PM
If your spouse is such a horrible person, what does that say about you for marrying her/him, hmmm? I think it's natural to want to vent on occasion but if all you have to say is negative, you're a piece of shiat.
 
2013-03-03 12:22:53 PM
FTA:
When men get together, they moan about their wives.
 
---

Got news for ya bro, she's saying stuff about you when the women get together.
 
2013-03-03 12:24:19 PM
My wife and I have been married almost 8 years, and we get along pretty well. We actually are like best friends and make each other laugh a lot. Even so, there are arguments and disagreements every now and then. You're not being real with each other if you don't have genuine tension sometimes.

That said, like everything else having to do with cable news, Johnny Comedian's remarks on his "perfect marriage" are more about drawing viewers and commentary (like we're all doing) and building his own brand than it is about conveying any real facts or opinions.
 
2013-03-03 12:25:14 PM

I should be in the kitchen: If your spouse is such a horrible person, what does that say about you for marrying her/him, hmmm? I think it's natural to want to vent on occasion but if all you have to say is negative, you're a piece of shiat.


Yes this
 
2013-03-03 12:26:09 PM
This guy's marriage is already on the rocks. He thinks this article will give him a shot at another wet hole soon.
 
2013-03-03 12:27:18 PM
This was the guy in college who would insist to his dorm mates that his freshman year pigwoman was hotter than Angelina Jolie, even if she wasn't there.  And he had boundary issues.
 
2013-03-03 12:28:52 PM

mod3072: This. Sorry, but I'm not taking marriage advice from someone who is still basically on their honeymoon. I might as well take driving tips from my 14 year-old son. He has a drivers license now, so he must be an expert, right?


What maniac gave a 14 year old a drivers license?
 
2013-03-03 12:29:57 PM
Is this the same guy who pontificated that he waited until marraige to have sex?

That guy was a royal douche.
 
2013-03-03 12:30:49 PM
I am a pita. I expect my man to blow off steam with his friends and complain. Otherwise, it would just build up and he would resent me. I do the same to my friends. So, I can come home with a fresh perspective.
 
2013-03-03 12:31:00 PM

Ambivalence: Is this the same guy who pontificated that he waited until marraige to have sex?

That guy was a royal douche.


Surprise! He still is.
 
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