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(Cleveland Plain Dealer)   7 year-old Girl Scout suffering from epileptic seizures and pituitary dwarfism, cock-punches her health problems and sells record numbers of cookies to help support our troops. With, damn it's getting patrioticly dusty in here picture   (cleveland.com) divider line 86
    More: Hero, Girl Scout cookie, record numbers, court reporter  
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10168 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Mar 2013 at 9:12 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-03 02:36:11 AM
media.cleveland.com
Ok... this picture just gave me diabetus

/dammit, she's cute.
//and yeah, she's technically a brownie scout, but whatever.
///diabetusssssssss
 
2013-03-03 07:40:33 AM

strangeluck: [media.cleveland.com image 380x668]
Ok... this picture just gave me diabetus

/dammit, she's cute.
//and yeah, she's technically a brownie scout, but whatever.
///diabetusssssssss


Yeah I'm a resident Kid Hater, but there's just no room for snark in this one.
 
2013-03-03 07:42:55 AM
Greened.. diabetus for everyone!
 
2013-03-03 07:59:11 AM
Wow, despite her crippling illness she was still able to perform her slave labor duties.
 
2013-03-03 08:27:53 AM
With her background and can-do attitude, she is perfectly positioned to become the Marissa Mayer of the Keebler Elves.
 
2013-03-03 09:14:03 AM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: Yeah I'm a resident Kid Hater, but there's just no room for snark in this one.


This.  I planned on coming in here to conjure up some inappropriate joke.  Then I clicked the link and saw the picture.

FTFA: Taylor Godwin is one tough cookie.
 

Wait, her name is Godwin?  Thanks for the cookies, Adrwarf Hitler!
 
2013-03-03 09:14:28 AM
Do girl scouts do anything other than sell cookies?
 
2013-03-03 09:15:14 AM

Doctor Funkenstein: Adrwarf


And I even managed to fark that up.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-03-03 09:16:19 AM
She's just adorable. Nice article.

/need to go hug my 7y.o. daughter now
//in my eye...something
 
2013-03-03 09:16:28 AM
I once bench pressed a dwarf.

/true story

//cool story bro
 
2013-03-03 09:17:19 AM

Shakin_Haitian: Do girl scouts do anything other than sell cookies?


My sister was one, the only thing I remember was them learning pocketknife safety with a stage folding knife with lipstick on the 'blade'.  If you got red on your hand, you didn't get your badge.  I'm sure they did more, but that's all I remember.
 
2013-03-03 09:18:39 AM
Yeah, yeah, yeah, congrats on beating the sickness kid. Now, about those cookies...

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-03 09:21:23 AM
Subby FAIL! Since when is supporting an organization that indoctrinates young women in radical feminism 'Patriotic', much less heroic?
 
2013-03-03 09:22:06 AM
Is patriotically spelled incorrectly for a reason? Did I miss a memo?
 
2013-03-03 09:22:07 AM
Seems like selling girl scout cookies is one area where such ailments might help you do well.

But good for her.
 
2013-03-03 09:23:24 AM
Jeebus, they should just put her adorable face on all the cookie boxes, and they would sell out in days! Too bad about her medical conditions, especially the seizures. All the best to her.
 
2013-03-03 09:23:40 AM
Ah, it's the time of year when young girls learn the value of doing nothing at all while their parents sell factory cookies to enrich the industrial bakers, all while retaining a tiny percentage of the profit which doesn't come close to being worthwhile for the time and effort put in.  Suckers.
 
2013-03-03 09:24:30 AM
You had me at "cookies".


/the cute is just piling on
 
2013-03-03 09:25:23 AM
She can't possibly be a real person.  I find it much more likely that the Girl Scouts elite worked with a team of psychologists to design a robot-girl that people would be incapable of not buying cookies from.   A real American child would be more likely to eat 1,500 boxes of cookies than sell them.
 
2013-03-03 09:26:07 AM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: strangeluck: [media.cleveland.com image 380x668]
Ok... this picture just gave me diabetus

/dammit, she's cute.
//and yeah, she's technically a brownie scout, but whatever.
///diabetusssssssss

Yeah I'm a resident Kid Hater, but there's just no room for snark in this one.



Not true. The "getting dusty in here" cliche' is irritating as f*ck. Not quite as irritating as "birth certificate" references but close.......
 
2013-03-03 09:26:15 AM
Sympathy sales
 
2013-03-03 09:26:53 AM
I hereby move that we abolish the "dusty in here" thing and replace it with.... "So here I sit. Crying at my monitor like a little biatch".
 
2013-03-03 09:27:02 AM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: strangeluck: [media.cleveland.com image 380x668]
Ok... this picture just gave me diabetus

/dammit, she's cute.
//and yeah, she's technically a brownie scout, but whatever.
///diabetusssssssss

Yeah I'm a resident Kid Hater, but there's just no room for snark in this one.


You're just not trying.

You can snark about the fact her record selling number of cookie is totally skewed because who the hell is going to say "no" to someone with her plight raising money for troops. Even most Congressional Republicans would at least buy 1 box of Thin Mints if she knocked on their door.  The other girls didn't have a chance.
 
2013-03-03 09:28:40 AM
I often wonder what these headlines would look like if men submitted them.
 
2013-03-03 09:30:14 AM
media.syracuse.com

"Thanks, kid."
 
2013-03-03 09:30:38 AM
strangeluck:
//and yeah, she's technically a brownie scout, but whatever.

This is something that I never understood. I've been a Girl Scout for 18+ years. Daisy, Brownie, Junior, Cadet, or Senior, they're all Girl Scouts. In Scouts (in my troop and in my council), that's what we called all of us. But outside of Scouts, it was always "oh, you're not a Girl Scout, you're a Brownie." Were you in Girl Scouts? Did your troop make this delineation?
 
2013-03-03 09:31:09 AM
I"m down to my last stack of thin mints...
 
2013-03-03 09:32:19 AM

voodoolady: strangeluck:
//and yeah, she's technically a brownie scout, but whatever.

This is something that I never understood. I've been a Girl Scout for 18+ years. Daisy, Brownie, Junior, Cadet, or Senior, they're all Girl Scouts. In Scouts (in my troop and in my council), that's what we called all of us. But outside of Scouts, it was always "oh, you're not a Girl Scout, you're a Brownie." Were you in Girl Scouts? Did your troop make this delineation?


Eh, BSA has the similar set up.  Cubs and Boys.  But you are always a Scout.
 
2013-03-03 09:32:24 AM

voodoolady: strangeluck:
//and yeah, she's technically a brownie scout, but whatever.

This is something that I never understood. I've been a Girl Scout for 18+ years. Daisy, Brownie, Junior, Cadet, or Senior, they're all Girl Scouts. In Scouts (in my troop and in my council), that's what we called all of us. But outside of Scouts, it was always "oh, you're not a Girl Scout, you're a Brownie." Were you in Girl Scouts? Did your troop make this delineation?


Take that raging feminist stuff elsewhere. No brainwashing here!
 
2013-03-03 09:41:34 AM

Mugato: Wow, despite her crippling illness she was still able to perform her slave labor duties.


Yep this just in. If you want to really support your local Girl Scout donate the 5 bucks to her troop. That way they get 5 buck not the 30cents they get when you buy a box of cookies.

You don't need the cookies anyway fatass.
 
2013-03-03 09:43:16 AM
I'm pretty sure that a 7-year-old girl doing anything with a cock is illegal....
 
2013-03-03 09:43:29 AM

tom baker's scarf: You don't need the cookies anyway fatass.


no... but I *want* them.
 
2013-03-03 09:45:55 AM
This is what this little girl just did:
 
2013-03-03 09:46:16 AM

macadamnut: [media.syracuse.com image 380x258]

"Thanks, kid."


I don't get it.
 
2013-03-03 09:48:22 AM

voodoolady: strangeluck:
//and yeah, she's technically a brownie scout, but whatever.

This is something that I never understood. I've been a Girl Scout for 18+ years. Daisy, Brownie, Junior, Cadet, or Senior, they're all Girl Scouts. In Scouts (in my troop and in my council), that's what we called all of us. But outside of Scouts, it was always "oh, you're not a Girl Scout, you're a Brownie." Were you in Girl Scouts? Did your troop make this delineation?


I was in Camp Fire Girls (has anyone ever even heard of that?) We did Indian beads instead of badges and peanuts and peanut brittle instead of cookies. First you were a "bluebird" then a "Camp Fire Girl" and for those who stayed after becoming teenagers, you were a "Horizon Girl". But really, all of us were Camp Fire Girls. I completely get your point voodoolady and govt employee.
 
2013-03-03 09:57:27 AM
Both of my girls were in scouting. They did a lot of crafts, sang a lot of silly songs and had fun. They also went to Camp Lachenwald in Germany. One year, one did a lot of plays and the other did horseback stuff. 
I don't remember anyone making a distinction between Daisys, Brownies or whatnot, other than what year a kid was in.

/The boys also tried scouting. Boy Scouts was VERY boring for them.
 
2013-03-03 09:58:57 AM
BTW,

You know who ELSE sent people around in little uniforms to sell things door-to-door?
 
2013-03-03 10:09:50 AM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: I hereby move that we abolish the "dusty in here" thing and replace it with.... "So here I sit. Crying at my monitor like a little biatch".


Also, let's abolish cutesy misspelling of "naughty" words and f*cking self censorship. Especially in a thread with "cockpunch" in the headline.
 
2013-03-03 10:21:54 AM

deschinc: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: I hereby move that we abolish the "dusty in here" thing and replace it with.... "So here I sit. Crying at my monitor like a little biatch".

Also, let's abolish cutesy misspelling of "naughty" words and f*cking self censorship. Especially in a thread with "cockpunch" in the headline.


That wasn't self-censorship.  You do know Fark has a filter, right?  Certain words have their spelling changed automatically, like fark, biatch, coont, and shiat.

I'd argue it's cutesy, but the site does it for you.
 
2013-03-03 10:24:32 AM
Americans have an unexplainable and unquestionable hard-on for their military.
 
2013-03-03 10:30:34 AM
"Buy at least four boxes, and I'll leave quickly before having an epileptic seizure on your front porch."
An irresistible sales pitch!
 
2013-03-03 10:34:41 AM

skinink: Jeebus, they should just put her adorable face on all the cookie boxes, and they would sell out in days! Too bad about her medical conditions, especially the seizures. All the best to her.


Do you think they have trouble selling out now?
 
2013-03-03 10:35:09 AM

maggoo: Americans have an unexplainable and unquestionable hard-on for their military.


sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
SUPPORT THE TROOPS!!!
 
2013-03-03 10:35:52 AM

SpdrJay: BTW,

You know who ELSE sent people around in little uniforms to sell things door-to-door?


Dutch pimps. Last week.
 
2013-03-03 10:38:24 AM

maggoo: Americans have an unexplainable and unquestionable hard-on for their military.



wait, do the brownie scouts even count as military?

/aisle
 
2013-03-03 10:38:41 AM

SpdrJay: BTW,

You know who ELSE sent people around in little uniforms to sell things door-to-door?


The public school system?
 
2013-03-03 10:38:46 AM

tower of pisa: voodoolady: strangeluck:
//and yeah, she's technically a brownie scout, but whatever.

This is something that I never understood. I've been a Girl Scout for 18+ years. Daisy, Brownie, Junior, Cadet, or Senior, they're all Girl Scouts. In Scouts (in my troop and in my council), that's what we called all of us. But outside of Scouts, it was always "oh, you're not a Girl Scout, you're a Brownie." Were you in Girl Scouts? Did your troop make this delineation?

I was in Camp Fire Girls (has anyone ever even heard of that?) We did Indian beads instead of badges and peanuts and peanut brittle instead of cookies. First you were a "bluebird" then a "Camp Fire Girl" and for those who stayed after becoming teenagers, you were a "Horizon Girl". But really, all of us were Camp Fire Girls. I completely get your point voodoolady and govt employee.


images.wikia.com
 
2013-03-03 10:43:01 AM

JonnyG: I often wonder what these headlines would look like if men submitted them.


ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-03-03 10:43:25 AM
So if the military has to sell cookies, does this mean schools have all the money they need?
 
2013-03-03 10:47:06 AM

Earpj: Both of my girls were in scouting. They did a lot of crafts, sang a lot of silly songs and had fun. They also went to Camp Lachenwald in Germany. One year, one did a lot of plays and the other did horseback stuff. 
I don't remember anyone making a distinction between Daisys, Brownies or whatnot, other than what year a kid was in.

/The boys also tried scouting. Boy Scouts was VERY boring for them.


Sounds like they had a shiatty scoutmaster. We did all sorts of stuff, going camping once a month in a cool place was just the beginning. We would go skiing and white water rafting. Scout camp was awesome because you got the opportunity to shoot rifles, shotguns, and black powder guns.
 
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