If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(AZCentral)   After a baby jumped on a bed and bounced through an open second-story window, his mother leapt after him, caught him by his foot, and safely lowered him down to his grandmother who was on the porch below enjoying a cigarette. The Aristocrats   (azcentral.com) divider line 43
    More: Spiffy, grandmother, cigarettes, bed  
•       •       •

5700 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2013 at 5:57 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-03-02 06:02:17 AM
Smoking saves lives!
 
2013-03-02 06:02:48 AM
What kind of kid can jump up to a second story window??
 
2013-03-02 06:07:01 AM
Beats what happened to Ronald Opus.
 
2013-03-02 06:08:09 AM

Resident Muslim: What kind of kid can jump up to a second story window??


www.supermanhomepage.com
 
2013-03-02 06:09:11 AM
yeeeeah ... I'm gonna call bs on this one.

I don't have any alternate explanation, but I defy anyone to react and move quickly enough to pull this off even if you knew it was going to happen.

She had to witness it starting to happen, process the event, then react, crash through the window and grab the kid.
 
2013-03-02 06:12:33 AM

Bob The Nob: yeeeeah ... I'm gonna call bs on this one.

I don't have any alternate explanation, but I defy anyone to react and move quickly enough to pull this off even if you knew it was going to happen.

She had to witness it starting to happen, process the event, then react, crash through the window and grab the kid.


While the story is certainly suspect, it isn't for this reason.  That is like saying tennis is impossible to play because the ball is moving too fast, when clearly it isn't.
 
2013-03-02 06:14:21 AM
re-reading the article, they could have been playing together and been inches apart when it happened. but they way it was written made it seem like she was just hanging out in the room watching the kid play on the bed.

/ I need more sleep
 
2013-03-02 06:15:39 AM

Bob The Nob: re-reading the article, they could have been playing together and been inches apart when it happened. but they way it was written made it seem like she was just hanging out in the room watching the kid play on the bed.

/ I need more sleep


Don't worry. Even the Ronald Opus story is more believable.
 
2013-03-02 06:16:02 AM

Resident Muslim: What kind of kid can jump up to a second story window??


www.everfunny.com
 
2013-03-02 06:16:45 AM
Translation: Mommy was doing the bath salts again and stripped naked. No problem there, but when the bushes began to mock her through the half open window, it was all she could take.

She went into a head-first movie leap through the window and straight to the bushes below..feeling nothing when she landed. Blows were landed, and the bushes lost a few good branches in the melee..but they got a few good stabs and scratches in there too.

Grandma just happened to be outside smokin a dooby, and had a hearty laugh as she sat there and did nothing.

Neighbors called police so grandma got the Visine out and pulled herself together. She lied to the po-po and she's a bit worried, but they seemed to believe the baby story.

Baby left a small bump on his head after a massive face-palm
 
2013-03-02 06:20:00 AM

Beta Tested: Bob The Nob: yeeeeah ... I'm gonna call bs on this one.

I don't have any alternate explanation, but I defy anyone to react and move quickly enough to pull this off even if you knew it was going to happen.

She had to witness it starting to happen, process the event, then react, crash through the window and grab the kid.

While the story is certainly suspect, it isn't for this reason.  That is like saying tennis is impossible to play because the ball is moving too fast, when clearly it isn't.


actually it is.

tennis would be impossible if the person receiving serve was just standing there and no idea the ball was about to be hit at them. then, after hearing the ball get served, they'd have to pick up their racket and react.
 
2013-03-02 06:20:12 AM
LewDux: I laughed way too damn hard. Holy shiat. Thank you.
 
2013-03-02 06:20:29 AM
Smells like bullshiat.

My version has her at her wits end with the baby and threatening to drop it out of the window. Grandma/neighbors talk her out of it and then they lie to the police.
 
2013-03-02 06:22:28 AM
I thought he was supposed to fall in a pile of sh....aving cream.
 
2013-03-02 06:27:25 AM
Can't find that .gif of the dad jumping into bed and sending his toddler into the wall.

Also, can you imagine seeing that scene? Baby flies out the window followed by naked mom smashing through, grabbing him, grandma catches the kid, mom vaults into the bushes. You'd look at your brown-bagged bottle, shake your head and throw it on the ground.
 
2013-03-02 06:27:29 AM
www.cuteculturechick.com
 
2013-03-02 06:30:29 AM

robohobo: [www.cuteculturechick.com image 550x441]


HHahahahh you're a horrible human being
 
2013-03-02 06:33:26 AM

publikenemy: robohobo: [www.cuteculturechick.com image 550x441]

HHahahahh you're a horrible human being


lulz. i know,
 
2013-03-02 06:42:59 AM
....and then she was arrested for child endangerment.
 
2013-03-02 06:56:30 AM
There are two interesting things in this story.

1.  The mother was naked.  Yet, that's never explicitly said, except that she was just getting out of the shower.  We have to assume she showers naked.
2.  She dove through a window.  Why?  Was the window that the toddler just jumped out of so much further away that she had to choose one closer to herself?  And if that's the case, how does that make any sense in the world of physics?!  The kid was already flying with no restraints.  She jumped through solid glass, and from a window further away, fast enough to catch up?!

This is simply a snippet from a treatment for the next Batman movie, and nothing else.
 
2013-03-02 07:06:26 AM
should have put the kid in a crate while showering...

/duh
 
2013-03-02 07:20:11 AM

Yes this is dog: Resident Muslim: What kind of kid can jump up to a second story window??

[www.supermanhomepage.com image 300x400]


Watch it - that's borderline child  porn in Moral America these days.
 
2013-03-02 07:22:06 AM

durbnpoisn: There are two interesting things in this story.

1.  The mother was naked.  Yet, that's never explicitly said, except that she was just getting out of the shower.  We have to assume she showers naked.
2.  She dove through a window.  Why?  Was the window that the toddler just jumped out of so much further away that she had to choose one closer to herself?  And if that's the case, how does that make any sense in the world of physics?!  The kid was already flying with no restraints.  She jumped through solid glass, and from a window further away, fast enough to catch up?!

This is simply a snippet from a treatment for the next Batman movie, and nothing else.


What's missing from this story? ... The Uncle.

reocities.com
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-03-02 07:55:37 AM

robohobo: [www.cuteculturechick.com image 550x441]


Yikes. Yeah, too soon, even if it were a century later.

/very nervous laugh
 
2013-03-02 08:01:01 AM
techtinkering.com

It's fun to watch them splat. The closest guy will turn green and sometimes puke.
 
2013-03-02 08:11:44 AM
Notice how the article skips over the fact she grabbed an infant by a fragile part of its body, jerking the momentum back towards the house and the inevitable smacking of the child's head against the part of the house just below the windowsill.

Physics, biatch.
 
2013-03-02 08:32:03 AM

MythDragon: [techtinkering.com image 400x247]

It's fun to watch them splat. The closest guy will turn green and sometimes puke.


I was wondering how long it would take for someone to post Bouncing Babies. Thanks for that.  :)
 
2013-03-02 09:20:06 AM
jesus, people. the roof must have a ledge and an angle so you go out the 2ns story window onto the roof of the porch, not some vertical wall like a hotel.  so the kid is rolling, sliding down the shingles and the mom dives and catches him before he goes over.  I did a similar thing catching my brother falling over a partially dried up waterfall in the Appalachian mountains once
 
2013-03-02 09:26:07 AM
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
Mama called the doctor and the doctor said:
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed".



/My grandkids favorite rhyme
 
2013-03-02 09:35:01 AM
Not Photoshopped in any way.
s24.postimage.org
 
2013-03-02 09:51:20 AM
The Defenestrats!
 
2013-03-02 09:51:34 AM
Only took reloading the page four times to get the very unfortunate ad placement I posted above.
 
2013-03-02 09:59:13 AM

Bob The Nob: yeeeeah ... I'm gonna call bs on this one.

I don't have any alternate explanation, but I defy anyone to react and move quickly enough to pull this off even if you knew it was going to happen.

She had to witness it starting to happen, process the event, then react, crash through the window and grab the kid.


I've seen women be faster than gravity before when it comes to saving their babbies. It could happen.
 
2013-03-02 10:01:00 AM

A Fark Handle: should have put the kid in a crate while showering...

/duh


Actually, I was thinking the same thing- but crates for babies are called play pens. Or even a crib. Why was this kid left roaming around unsupervised when she took a shower? Just dumb.
 
2013-03-02 10:02:07 AM
It could have been worse. He could have landed in a barrel of shaving cream.
 
2013-03-02 10:22:43 AM

InternetSecurityGuard: It could have been worse. He could have landed in a barrel of shaving cream.


There once was a toddler in Spokane,
His mother was such a dumb twit,
But good luck was with him that morning,
As he fell in a barrel of...
 
2013-03-02 11:11:22 AM

RoosterCogburn: Notice how the article skips over the fact she grabbed an infant by a fragile part of its body, jerking the momentum back towards the house and the inevitable smacking of the child's head against the part of the house just below the windowsill.

Physics, biatch.


She was crashing through a window while doing this. You're criticizing her technique?
 
2013-03-02 11:37:05 AM

robohobo: [www.cuteculturechick.com image 550x441]


WIN!

I suppose that only leaves me with...

i48.tinypic.comi45.tinypic.com
 
2013-03-02 01:56:55 PM
I did something similar as a kid, where's my news story?

I was about 3, and my sister was about 1 when we were both at a window of our house. She was leaning against the window and the screen gave way, causing her to fall out. I grabbed her by the leg as she dangled out the window and I shouted "I got her, mom!" My mother had to come and pull us both back in.

/csb
 
2013-03-02 03:25:17 PM
Just another day in the life of those friendly Circus folk, the Bouncing Wallendas.
 
2013-03-02 05:15:03 PM

Bob The Nob: yeeeeah ... I'm gonna call bs on this one.

I don't have any alternate explanation, but I defy anyone to react and move quickly enough to pull this off even if you knew it was going to happen.

She had to witness it starting to happen, process the event, then react, crash through the window and grab the kid.


Have you ever been driving when in a car accident?  Have you ever experienced what your body is capable of when it dumps your entire supply of adrenaline (and a dozen other chemicals) directly into your brain and muscles?

From the perspective of someone watching their kid fly to his death, time must have been going VERY slow.
 
2013-03-02 05:44:52 PM
Ah yes, the old, overly used and as is far to often - improperly used, Aristocrats meme
 
2013-03-02 06:42:47 PM

bborchar: A Fark Handle: should have put the kid in a crate while showering...

/duh

Actually, I was thinking the same thing- but crates for babies are called play pens. Or even a crib. Why was this kid left roaming around unsupervised when she took a shower? Just dumb.


Spokane.
 
Displayed 43 of 43 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report