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(Fairbanks Daily Newsminer)   Want to know when a unit has been home for 9 months after a deployment? Check the birth rate at the local base   (newsminer.com) divider line 58
    More: Amusing, birth rates, Fairbanks, Infantry Division, Stryker, soft toys, Ministry of Jesus  
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6255 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2013 at 12:38 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-01 07:02:46 PM  
And the second thing I'm going to do is take off these boots.
 
2013-03-01 07:09:22 PM  
...but first, let's see you play that harmonica.
 
2013-03-01 08:06:03 PM  
What I love is right after this baby boom, you'll see girls on spouse support sites begging for stuff to take care of the little "honey I'm home" present.
 
2013-03-01 10:37:24 PM  
Just what we need...more kids living on taxpayer dollars.
 
2013-03-01 10:41:55 PM  
Not anymore.

Thanks Obama.
 
2013-03-01 10:57:47 PM  
Yeah, I think they figured that brilliant conclusion out about 3000 years ago!
 
2013-03-02 12:00:04 AM  
i'm pro-choice and all, but it's kinda sad about all those abortions from the huge amount of military wives who cheat on their husbands while they're deployed.
 
2013-03-02 12:42:23 AM  
Want to know what an abortion of a sentence looks like? See the first sentence of the headline.
 
2013-03-02 12:43:05 AM  

the801: i'm pro-choice and all, but it's kinda sad about all those abortions from the huge amount of military wives who cheat on their husbands while they're deployed.


I came here to say something like that
/And if the wife been in the military herself it's a bonus
 
2013-03-02 12:43:44 AM  
This assumes they didn't just pop in for a little bit of the ole' in'n'out.
 
2013-03-02 12:48:17 AM  
This article sponsored by the letters XXX, the number 69, and:

i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-03-02 12:52:46 AM  
If their husbands don't knock them up before they leave for duty someone else on that Base will.
 
2013-03-02 12:53:02 AM  
Want to know when a unit has been deployed for 10 months? Check the divorce filings.
 
2013-03-02 12:54:35 AM  
static.squarespace.com

/Oblig
 
2013-03-02 12:55:37 AM  
I remember a time when it was rare to see an article about the military. When the military is seen as the only thing that the government does right, soon the military becomes the only thing the government does. This should be frightening to any thinking person.
 
2013-03-02 12:59:27 AM  

the801: i'm pro-choice and all, but it's kinda sad about all those abortions from the huge amount of military wives who cheat on their husbands while they're deployed.


It's sad they can't/don't get birth control or morning after pill or get him to wear a rubber
 
2013-03-02 01:05:47 AM  

jaylectricity: Just what we need...more kids living on taxpayer dollars.


IIRC, there is no more pay, since a married soldier is getting the "with dependent" subsistence allowance.  The extra expense to the gov  is the he medical care, and perhaps larger quarters on base.

As an E-5 with 3 kids we needed WIC to get by.  Lived in a place where I didn't want to be and missed the birth of one of my kids due to Desert Storm.  That's part of the deal though.
 
2013-03-02 01:07:04 AM  
bone away, boys and girls. You earned it. Now get the fark out of the volunteer military before they send you to some other farking shiathole
 
2013-03-02 01:08:17 AM  

President Merkin Muffley: I remember a time when it was rare to see an article about the military. When the military is seen as the only thing that the government does right, soon the military becomes the only thing the government does. This should be frightening to any thinking person.


Then you have no reason to be frightened.

As for the article...

But the term 'baby boom' is nothing new but amusing none the less.
 
2013-03-02 01:11:27 AM  
nothing but soup sandwiches
 
2013-03-02 01:11:54 AM  
Jesus Christ, there is such a thing as birth control.
 
2013-03-02 01:20:13 AM  

randomjsa: President Merkin Muffley: I remember a time when it was rare to see an article about the military. When the military is seen as the only thing that the government does right, soon the military becomes the only thing the government does. This should be frightening to any thinking person.

Then you have no reason to be frightened.

As for the article...

But the term 'baby boom' is nothing new but amusing none the less.


Ah, Randomjsa, so we meet again. Please tell me more about Bill Gates mini nuke pile conspiracy.
 
2013-03-02 01:20:35 AM  

gadian: Jesus Christ, there is such a thing as birth control.


No birth control is 100%, ask my third child
 
2013-03-02 01:24:44 AM  
When I was in for the first portion of Iraqi freedom and enduring freedom we really didn't have that happen all that much.  A better idea of when someone would be having kids was when the husband was taking leave.  Typically though people were taking leave at specific points of the year and deployment cycles.
 
2013-03-02 01:27:18 AM  

Watubi: gadian:

No birth control is 100%, ask my third child


I doubt so much birth control failed all at once.  I'll never understand the "oh you're back, BABIES NOW!" mentality of military families.  Especially if you have one for each deployment.
 
2013-03-02 01:38:38 AM  
I was an army paralegal from fort hood until I left recently. In other news, our army apparently makes army wives episodes tame. Seriously, garrison life has completely gone to Hell.
 
2013-03-02 01:48:21 AM  

knbwhite: jaylectricity: Just what we need...more kids living on taxpayer dollars.

IIRC, there is no more pay, since a married soldier is getting the "with dependent" subsistence allowance.  The extra expense to the gov  is the he medical care, and perhaps larger quarters on base.
As an E-5 with 3 kids we needed WIC to get by.  Lived in a place where I didn't want to be and missed the birth of one of my kids due to Desert Storm.  That's part of the deal though.


WIC is taxpayer dollars. I guess the idiot troll was technically correct. The best kind of correct.
 
2013-03-02 01:51:50 AM  
I think "Fairbanks Pisces" would make a good name for a baseball team.

/Previously deployed Sailor
//Returned in May
///Daughter born in February
////Damned Vodak
 
2013-03-02 02:00:33 AM  
These women are the absolute of funny.

18 yrs.  of funny.
 
2013-03-02 02:07:17 AM  
My sister cheated on her deployed husband who was in the Iraq--with two guys. And got preggers, and chlamidia.....

I never had any respect for her afterward, and eventually just stopped talking to her entirely.
 
2013-03-02 02:44:13 AM  
Funny thing is, you can use the much the same method to telll when a unit HAS been deployed for nine months.  It's just for that one you watch the STD rates instead of the maternity ward.
 
2013-03-02 02:56:14 AM  
Want to know when a unit has been deployed for longer than 9 months?  Also check the birth rate at the local base.
 
2013-03-02 03:06:09 AM  
Hmm, so what you're all saying is I should hang around military bases?
 
2013-03-02 03:19:14 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: the801: i'm pro-choice and all, but it's kinda sad about all those abortions from the huge amount of military wives who cheat on their husbands while they're deployed.

I came here to say something like that
/And if the wife been in the military herself it's a bonus


on the plus side, the few wives that don't just run off have more holes than a bowling ball so there's that.
 
2013-03-02 03:25:21 AM  

buzzcut73: [static.squarespace.com image 400x384]


Sigh.
It's from the Onion and you included the Ebaum 9gag shiat tag.

What happened to you, internet?
 
2013-03-02 03:40:09 AM  

gadian: I'll never understand the "oh you're back, BABIES NOW!" mentality of military families.


They think procreating will heal their sh*tty marriage. It's unfiltered delusion.
 
2013-03-02 03:57:43 AM  

gadian: Watubi: gadian:

No birth control is 100%, ask my third child

I doubt so much birth control failed all at once.  I'll never understand the "oh you're back, BABIES NOW!" mentality of military families.  Especially if you have one for each deployment.


What's so hard to figure out? When a fit young guy full of testosterone gets sent away to a place he probably can't get laid for months on end, gets made painfully aware of his mortality from being in a war zone [which sets off major and deep-seated evolutionary drives], then comes home to an SO who theoretically hasn't been laid for just as long, the first thing that happens is sexytime... on or against every surface in the house that can hold up.

This has probably been known since before the dawn of civilization, dude.
 
2013-03-02 04:41:35 AM  

buzzcut73: [static.squarespace.com image 400x384]

/Oblig


Kendra Kaplan, 5 months pregnant, watches as her husband SSG Joshua Kaplan and fellow U.S. Army soldiers arrive on August 18, 2009 in Fort Carson, Colorado. She had brought a sealed envelope with an ultrasound, so that they could learn the baby's gender together upon Joshua's arrival. The Kaplans will be having a baby boy, conceived during Joshua's mid-term leave in March. Approximately 575 soldiers from the 2nd Brigade Combat team from the 4th Infantry Division returned following a 12 month deployment to Iraq. At lower left is their son Ayden, 3.
 
2013-03-02 04:58:11 AM  
When I got back from a routine deployment to Okinawa we joked about the wives waiting in the parking lot trying to rub the club stamp off their hands.
 
2013-03-02 05:00:55 AM  

CarrieWhite: buzzcut73: [static.squarespace.com image 400x384]

/Oblig

Kendra Kaplan, 5 months pregnant, watches as her husband SSG Joshua Kaplan and fellow U.S. Army soldiers arrive on August 18, 2009 in Fort Carson, Colorado. She had brought a sealed envelope with an ultrasound, so that they could learn the baby's gender together upon Joshua's arrival. The Kaplans will be having a baby boy, conceived during Joshua's mid-term leave in March. Approximately 575 soldiers from the 2nd Brigade Combat team from the 4th Infantry Division returned following a 12 month deployment to Iraq. At lower left is their son Ayden, 3.


The guy got to come back in the middle of deployment? Does that happen often or was he back due to other emergency circumstances?
 
2013-03-02 05:31:27 AM  
Followed by okcupid getting ready for another batch of single moms.
 
2013-03-02 05:46:21 AM  

Tobin_Lam: CarrieWhite: buzzcut73: [static.squarespace.com image 400x384]

/Oblig

Kendra Kaplan, 5 months pregnant, watches as her husband SSG Joshua Kaplan and fellow U.S. Army soldiers arrive on August 18, 2009 in Fort Carson, Colorado. She had brought a sealed envelope with an ultrasound, so that they could learn the baby's gender together upon Joshua's arrival. The Kaplans will be having a baby boy, conceived during Joshua's mid-term leave in March. Approximately 575 soldiers from the 2nd Brigade Combat team from the 4th Infantry Division returned following a 12 month deployment to Iraq. At lower left is their son Ayden, 3.

The guy got to come back in the middle of deployment? Does that happen often or was he back due to other emergency circumstances?


Most people I know who got deployed had a couple of weeks leave at some point in their deployment.
 
2013-03-02 05:52:23 AM  

knbwhite: jaylectricity: Just what we need...more kids living on taxpayer dollars.

IIRC, there is no more pay, since a married soldier is getting the "with dependent" subsistence allowance.  The extra expense to the gov  is the he medical care, and perhaps larger quarters on base.

As an E-5 with 3 kids we needed WIC to get by.  Lived in a place where I didn't want to be and missed the birth of one of my kids due to Desert Storm.  That's part of the deal though.


That's not true anymore.  It's bullshiat.

A SGT (4 years of service) with a Dependapotomus and two kids at Fort Drum has a yearly cash flow of about $52k.  I think it is great!  Better yet, the soldier wouldn't even pay income tax!  (I bet they'll tell you they are taxed too much and love getting their "refund")

Annual Base Pay: $30360
Annual Base Pay - Pay Roll taxes (7.65%): $28037.46
Annual BAS and BAH (Tax Free): $20823.24
Taxable income: $2560
EITC: $3530
Year Cash Flow: $52,390.7
Monthly Cash Flow: $4365.89
Marginal Rax Rate: -6.2%

And you know what, they still qualify for WIC!
 
2013-03-02 06:17:42 AM  

AR 15-6: I was an army paralegal from fort hood until I left recently. In other news, our army apparently makes army wives episodes tame. Seriously, garrison life has completely gone to Hell.


Thats sound like the beginning of a interesting story. Please continue.
 
2013-03-02 08:38:52 AM  
Wear a condom you farking retards! We don't need any more republicans.
 
2013-03-02 09:05:47 AM  

jaylectricity: Just what we need...more kids living on taxpayer dollars.


you got that right
 
2013-03-02 10:31:54 AM  
more blood for the blood god!  more skulls for the skull throne!!
 
2013-03-02 10:43:13 AM  

AR 15-6: I was an army paralegal from fort hood until I left recently. In other news, our army apparently makes army wives episodes tame. Seriously, garrison life has completely gone to Hell.


This I believe
 
2013-03-02 11:47:12 AM  
So.... you guys give high-powered weapons to guys that are too stupid to wrap up their dick?  USA!  USA!
 
Kiz
2013-03-02 02:10:51 PM  
What's really sad is that it actually takes 10 months from conception to birth.
 
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