If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Sun)   It kind of sucks when your house is on a bend in the road and cars constantly are crashing in your yard. But once in awhile one of those accidents involves a truck carrying kegs of beer and that makes it all worthwhile   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 32
    More: Strange, front garden, lorry  
•       •       •

5836 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Mar 2013 at 2:52 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-03-01 01:53:19 PM
My yard, my kegs. No trespassing brah ol chap.
 
2013-03-01 02:56:11 PM
Only if they let you keep them, which I kind of doubt...

/nscss - my husband's aunt lives on a sharp corner in the country, so every so often someone will over- or under-shoot the curve, but they actually had some drunk driver do almost a whole circle to plow right into their goat shed a couple of years ago. The moron must have just had an 'oh shiat' moment and reacted by making too tight a turn.
 
2013-03-01 02:57:48 PM
What kind of beer?
 
2013-03-01 03:01:59 PM
"In the past few years we've had four cars in our garden, a bus on our wall and a lorry dropped its load of beer. We don't go in the garden."

WTF you're giving up? I would have an impenetrable 5' deep stone wall after the first time this happened.
 
2013-03-01 03:03:47 PM
They're called BOLLARDS, people,
s11.postimage.org
Not rocket science,
 
2013-03-01 03:03:49 PM

StaleCoffee: What kind of beer?


Didn't you fu7cking read? FREE.

(tsk, some people... I dunno *SMH*)
 
2013-03-01 03:05:28 PM
This appears to be the location: http://goo.gl/maps/TWVtz
Looks pretty innocuous to me.
 
2013-03-01 03:05:44 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: They're called BOLLARDS, people,
[s11.postimage.org image 693x175]
Not rocket science,


yeah, bollards are well known for being able to stop 4 tons of beer. Yeah. Totally. No worries, mate. We'll install thems for cost!
 
2013-03-01 03:06:06 PM
Like a shaken can of soda, tap at your own risk.
 
2013-03-01 03:11:03 PM
I've had 22 vehicles thru my fence in the past 13 years - the most recent 2 weeks ago.

While I've collected a harley, several rice racer cars with fart can mufflers, two cadilacs, and plenty of pickup trucks, I've yet to get a beer truck.  Perhaps the problem is I get the vehicles *after* they've left the bar?
 
2013-03-01 03:11:45 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: They're called BOLLARDS, people,
[s11.postimage.org image 693x175]
Not rocket science,


While they may keep vehicles from landing in someone's garden, they can actually cause greater chance of fatality when a car strikes them.
 
2013-03-01 03:11:52 PM
I had Jack Handy's voice in my head when I read that headline.
 
2013-03-01 03:13:15 PM
A friend from high school has a neighbor who lives on a sharp curve out in the country where idiots and drunk idiots have taken the road too fast and crashed into their house.  They have a nice dirt wall in the middle of their yard now.

For a few years I had a ritual of driving down that road Sunday mornings to see if that wall had fresh damage.     That isn't a house I would ever want to live in.
 
2013-03-01 03:15:39 PM
FTA: Somerset County Council said: "On inspection today no defects or unusual road conditions were found."

Really ? ! ?  That accident rate doesn't tell you enough?  Seriously?
 
2013-03-01 03:18:03 PM
Sharp curves near a bar can be problematic, esp. after friends & relatives of the deceased want to turn the tree they hit into a memorial.
 
2013-03-01 03:18:48 PM
Jeremy Clarkson nods, knowingly.
 
2013-03-01 03:21:12 PM

Great Janitor: A friend from high school has a neighbor who lives on a sharp curve out in the country where idiots and drunk idiots have taken the road too fast and crashed into their house.  They have a nice dirt wall in the middle of their yard now.

For a few years I had a ritual of driving down that road Sunday mornings to see if that wall had fresh damage.     That isn't a house I would ever want to live in.


I'm sure the house is lovely, it just needs to be moved about 10 feet to the left or right of the turn. and maybe back by abut 20...
 
2013-03-01 03:37:42 PM
You just need a few yard boulders™
farm1.staticflickr.com
And then just sit back and watch those farkers bounce off.
 
2013-03-01 03:38:39 PM
bollards

i learned a new word today thank you
 
2013-03-01 03:47:07 PM

uttertosh: StaleCoffee: What kind of beer?

Didn't you fu7cking read? FREE.

(tsk, some people... I dunno *SMH*)


I'm not 2 or 3 beers in yet and have a stable income so "free" isn't important enough to replace "isn't fruity alcoholic swill" for me.
 
2013-03-01 03:53:10 PM

Ambivalence: While they may keep vehicles from landing in someone's garden, they can actually cause greater chance of fatality when a car strikes them.


Learn to drive or Darwin thanks you
 
2013-03-01 03:56:21 PM

MythDragon: You just need a few yard boulders™
[farm1.staticflickr.com image 500x375]
And then just sit back and watch those farkers bounce off.


That is pretty amazing. My parents have this problem because they live on a curve of an otherwise straight road. He got sick of losing his mailbox and mounted it on a huge concrete block. Next car that came out that way pretty much ended up halfway up it. I convinced him that a $20 mailbox wasn't worth trashing people's cars.
 
2013-03-01 03:56:22 PM
In college I lived on a sharp 15 mph turn where a 45 mph divided highway turned into a residential road.  We had drunk drivers crashing into our trees late at night on what seemed like most weekends.  Closest one got to hitting the house was a BMW that slid sideways through our front yard a few feet from the front porch.  When it stopped all four doors popped open and four teenagers got out and ran like hell.

I always had the fantasy of instead of just letting our trees continue to take a beating each weekend, I would build dirt ramp in their place and park a few buses behind it. That way we would get some entertainment out of it and the drunk drivers would at least have a hell of story to tell about how their car got wrecked.  Maybe rig up some fireworks on a trip wire...
 
2013-03-01 04:25:38 PM

uttertosh: Day_Old_Dutchie: They're called BOLLARDS, people,
[s11.postimage.org image 693x175]
Not rocket science,

yeah, bollards are well known for being able to stop 4 tons of beer. Yeah. Totally. No worries, mate. We'll install thems for cost!


10" diameter bollards spaced 4'-9" o.c. filled with concrete and embedded 8'-0" below grade and 4'-0" above grade.  For added protection a 4" continuous pipe welded horizontal between the bollards at 2'-0" and 3'-6" above grade.

Your move 4 ton beer truck.
 
2013-03-01 04:25:44 PM
I used to live near this house whose residents would regularly find drunk drivers in their front yard. Pretty sure one made it all the way to the house at least once.
 
2013-03-01 04:26:54 PM
This post jeremy clarkson (paranoidly) approved..
 
2013-03-01 05:26:04 PM
my neighbor growing up had his wooden mailbox taken out about every other month by imbeciles because the road curved just slightly in front of his house (maybe 5 degree angle - maybe). eventually he replaced it with a stucco one (and also moved it to the other side of the driveway - but even that couldn't handle being hit at 25 mph. so he paid hundreds of dollars and had one built of re-enforced concrete and then surrounded by brick. not even a week later some idiot hit that thing and totaled his car. the owner ditched the car (though he was eventually tracked down and made to pay for its removal.) so my neighbor left the car there for a few days as a warning - no one hit that mailbox after that when they saw the carnage it caused - people just needed to have their behavior adjusted.
 
2013-03-01 05:58:04 PM
FTA: "[...] a young female driver wrote off his neighbour's car [...]"

WTF does that even mean?

StaleCoffee: What kind of beer?


British beer. Probably Coors.


MythDragon: You just need a few yard boulders™
And then just sit back and watch those farkers bounce off.


This. Or maybe a moat.
 
2013-03-01 06:26:28 PM
Haircut2305
This appears to be the location: http://goo.gl/maps/TWVtz
Looks pretty innocuous to me.


Yeah, only thing I can imagine - given that they drive on the left side - is that, at night and without roadlights (all 5 accidents happened from evening to the next morning), people might think there's an additional lane beginning or a bay to give extra room for oncoming traffic and they register too late that it isn't and that there's a drop down into the garden two feet from the side of the road.
Or that oncoming cars tend to cut that corner and people try to drive as far left as possible to avoid touching them.

But given five cars in one night, I rather suspect something temporary like a patch of ice or some oil spillage or other stuff related to the first crash (i.e. people gawking, a towing truck or police car blocking parts of the road etc)


/the beer truck probably just had a hanger swerving out a bit too much
 
2013-03-01 06:27:42 PM

StaleCoffee: uttertosh: StaleCoffee: What kind of beer?

Didn't you fu7cking read? FREE.

(tsk, some people... I dunno *SMH*)

I'm not 2 or 3 beers in yet and have a stable income so "free" isn't important enough to replace "isn't fruity alcoholic swill" for me.


sound logic is sound.

Hypothetically, though, would you  really be complaining if (the number in the picture in TFA) barrels of "fruity alcoholic swill" magick'd themselves into your ownership? Really?

I have doubts that I couldn't craigslist them into 'proper' cash-worthy lawn-finds within 10 mins or so. Even if I'd made a serious dent in the initial haul.

Smeggy Smurf: Your move 4 ton beer truck.


Erm, ja, and who exactly pays for this (admittedly, super-awesome) 4ton beertruck solution? The cops? The council? The home-owner? The Insurers? God?!?

No such thing as a free lunch, granted, but there's no way in hell that all those barrells were accounted for, huh? :-)
 
2013-03-01 08:46:32 PM
uttertosh:
Smeggy Smurf: Your move 4 ton beer truck.

Erm, ja, and who exactly pays for this (admittedly, super-awesome) 4ton beertruck solution? The cops? The council? The home-owner? The Insurers? God?!?

No such thing as a free lunch, granted, but there's no way in hell that all those barrells were accounted for, huh? :-)


That is not my problem.  I only design stuff.  Somebody else figures out the budget.
 
2013-03-03 10:50:24 PM

MythDragon: You just need a few yard boulders™
[farm1.staticflickr.com image 500x375]
And then just sit back and watch those farkers bounce off.


There's a house near my old high school that has a glacial rock sitting right in the middle of their driveway (IIRC, enough room around it to pull in though). They were right at a T intersection and I figured it must be to keep drunks from just continuing straight into their driveway/garage/backyard.
 
Displayed 32 of 32 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report