If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Gawker)   Best. Jury duty. Evar   (gawker.com) divider line 94
    More: Spiffy, Zumba, The Woman-Identified Woman, Maine, Alexis Wright  
•       •       •

31003 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Mar 2013 at 2:00 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



94 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-02-28 11:04:27 PM
Ayup, that would make me raise my right hand and swear...

Somebody's got to leak those videos soon!
 
2013-03-01 12:01:00 AM
Boobies!

/yes, i said "boobies"
 
2013-03-01 12:04:56 AM

BarkingUnicorn: Somebody's got to leak those videos soon!


i certainly hope so.
 
2013-03-01 12:57:30 AM
I got called for jury duty once, in about 1998.  Burglary case, we were interviewed by the two lawyers.  Came back the next day, and the defended had changed his plea to guilty, and we were done.

Now the videos.. I'm usually done in 10 minutes or so..
 
2013-03-01 01:25:44 AM
We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?
 
2013-03-01 01:35:33 AM
Sounds like an awful idea that Pauly Shore could make a shiatty movie from....

Oh wait
 
2013-03-01 02:02:32 AM
250 for 45 is pretty steep. Do we have pictures of this woman?
 
2013-03-01 02:05:28 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: 250 for 45 is pretty steep. Do we have pictures of this woman?


crimcourts.files.wordpress.com

downloads.thedaily.com
 
2013-03-01 02:09:39 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: 250 for 45 is pretty steep. Do we have pictures of this woman?


these too. not too shabby.
 
2013-03-01 02:10:56 AM
Surely there has been a jury trial somewhere where the jury got to sample the goods directly.
(Maybe in a libel lawsuit when one whiskey claimed to be as good as another, for example.)
 
2013-03-01 02:13:42 AM

Omahawg: AverageAmericanGuy: 250 for 45 is pretty steep. Do we have pictures of this woman?

[crimcourts.files.wordpress.com image 189x230]

[downloads.thedaily.com image 662x449]


Not bad at all.
 
2013-03-01 02:14:36 AM

Omahawg: AverageAmericanGuy: 250 for 45 is pretty steep. Do we have pictures of this woman?

[crimcourts.files.wordpress.com image 189x230]

[downloads.thedaily.com image 662x449]


250 is still pretty high.

200 for an hour, I could see that...
 
2013-03-01 02:14:39 AM
Every time I've had jury duty I was sent home around lunch or so. Never been picked.
 
2013-03-01 02:15:04 AM
I can see the men on the jury now. "Um, your honor, some of us need to review this video in private for a few minutes."
 
2013-03-01 02:18:28 AM
Oh, man.  This would be fun, but I always get bounced from juries.

I spent a few years as a public defender and was a victim of two separate violent crimes, so I'm pretty much radioactive.
 
2013-03-01 02:19:30 AM
The guy in the alleged skype video is 61 years old. I don't care how hot the chick was, 45 minutes of skype porn between a 61 year old dude and a prostitute is on my, "do not want" list.
 
2013-03-01 02:19:54 AM

farkingismybusiness: Every time I've had jury duty I was sent home around lunch or so. Never been picked.


I just make up a lie that relates me to the case and let them know how tough it would be for me to deal with hearing the testimony. I'm usually outta there quick and also have never been picked.
 
2013-03-01 02:25:22 AM

L.D. Ablo: Oh, man.  This would be fun, but I always get bounced from juries.

I spent a few years as a public defender and was a victim of two separate violent crimes, so I'm pretty much radioactive.


you lucky sob. I'm jealous.
 
2013-03-01 02:26:01 AM
I'm still amazed that this dude and the zumba lady kept recordings and records of everything, and that she made it so easy to connect her to find the sex videos of her online. The way they did things makes no sense at all, even if they were planning to blackmail their clients.
 
2013-03-01 02:26:15 AM
May I be excused?
 
2013-03-01 02:26:15 AM

Bane of Broone: farkingismybusiness: Every time I've had jury duty I was sent home around lunch or so. Never been picked.

I just make up a lie that relates me to the case and let them know how tough it would be for me to deal with hearing the testimony. I'm usually outta there quick and also have never been picked.


then post on the Internet about perguring myself in court.

/that's a jailing
 
2013-03-01 02:26:16 AM
Never suspected that Strong was THIS depressed about his Green Lantern involvement....
 
2013-03-01 02:28:12 AM
"Hello?" comes a man's voice from the computer. "Did he (inaudible)?"

"Yes, he did," Wright answers. "Shocking."


Goddammit, now I'm going to be up all night wondering what was so shocking.
 
2013-03-01 02:29:09 AM
Who the hell would want to see some old dude fark anyone? Subby has some questionable tastes as do the rest of you or so it seems. Doesn't matter how attractive the lady is. An ugly old man trumps the ruination factor.
 
2013-03-01 02:33:51 AM

squirrelflavoredyogurt: The guy in the alleged skype video is 61 years old. I don't care how hot the chick was, 45 minutes of skype porn between a 61 year old dude and a prostitute is on my, "do not want" list.


Not only that, but who would want to watch porn with a jury in a courthouse?

If only there were a convenient and easy way to watch porn at home.
 
2013-03-01 02:35:42 AM
"Hello?" comes a man's voice from the computer. "Did he (inaudible)?"

Pay?  Survive?  Leave?  Sweat?  Cry?  Smoke?  Do a backflip?

I have no idea from the context of the description of the video, what a man might be expected to do as a result of having sex with a younger woman.  Did he rap?
 
2013-03-01 02:38:02 AM

HotWingAgenda: "Hello?" comes a man's voice from the computer. "Did he (inaudible)?"

Pay?  Survive?  Leave?  Sweat?  Cry?  Smoke?  Do a backflip?

I have no idea from the context of the description of the video, what a man might be expected to do as a result of having sex with a younger woman.  Did he rap?


Did he get it up?
 
2013-03-01 02:38:27 AM

viscountalpha: L.D. Ablo: Oh, man.  This would be fun, but I always get bounced from juries.

I spent a few years as a public defender and was a victim of two separate violent crimes, so I'm pretty much radioactive.

you lucky sob. I'm jealous.


Aw, c'mon. Jury duty can be fun. I've been on three.
 
2013-03-01 02:39:26 AM
i23.photobucket.com
Well? Did he (inaudable)?
 
2013-03-01 02:39:29 AM
Expect the jury to deliberate for 2 months while they carefully re-examine the evidence
 
2013-03-01 02:44:25 AM

Gig103: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?


blog-imgs-30.fc2.com

Exactly
 
2013-03-01 02:46:25 AM

semiotix: "Hello?" comes a man's voice from the computer. "Did he (inaudible)?"

"Yes, he did," Wright answers. "Shocking."

Goddammit, now I'm going to be up all night wondering what was so shocking.


Venus Butterfly.
 
2013-03-01 02:46:46 AM

gumpy: Bane of Broone: farkingismybusiness: Every time I've had jury duty I was sent home around lunch or so. Never been picked.

I just make up a lie that relates me to the case and let them know how tough it would be for me to deal with hearing the testimony. I'm usually outta there quick and also have never been picked.

then post on the Internet about perguring myself in court.

/that's a jailing


Either that, or purjatory.
 
2013-03-01 02:51:37 AM

Alphax: I got called for jury duty once, in about 1998.  Burglary case, we were interviewed by the two lawyers.  Came back the next day, and the defended had changed his plea to guilty, and we were done.


Four years ago for me.  In court for 10 days hearing arguments/testimony/etc, then we took a whole damned month off for the holidays.  Came back for three days of refresher/tedium, then WELP, THE DEFENDANT WANTS TO SETTLE - THANKS FOR YOUR TIME.
 
2013-03-01 02:56:47 AM
/cjb
 
2013-03-01 03:02:03 AM

Thunderboy: Alphax: I got called for jury duty once, in about 1998.  Burglary case, we were interviewed by the two lawyers.  Came back the next day, and the defended had changed his plea to guilty, and we were done.

Four years ago for me.  In court for 10 days hearing arguments/testimony/etc, then we took a whole damned month off for the holidays.  Came back for three days of refresher/tedium, then WELP, THE DEFENDANT WANTS TO SETTLE - THANKS FOR YOUR TIME.


I was thanked for saving the county the cost of the trial.
 
2013-03-01 03:05:18 AM
We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?

I'm hoping that this will be the next libertarian social cause after marijuana. License sex workers, insure them, and keep them as healthy as possible and out of the hands of people that abuse them. I bet we'd see a sharp decrease in venereal diseases.
 
2013-03-01 03:14:16 AM

Baron Harkonnen: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?

I'm hoping that this will be the next libertarian social cause after marijuana. License sex workers, insure them, and keep them as healthy as possible and out of the hands of people that abuse them. I bet we'd see a sharp decrease in venereal diseases.


It would at least reduce abuse against the girls and maybe help more stay off drugs. Would it help reduce rape and sexual assault cases too? Or are the majority of those about power and control more than the sex itself?
 
2013-03-01 03:16:49 AM
I got called once, but it was years after I'd moved states. Yeah, I got called in the state I moved from. Idiots.

Haven't been called in ten years,  I think it's tied to voter registration here, and I'm not registered.
 
2013-03-01 03:22:34 AM

Baron Harkonnen: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?

I'm hoping that this will be the next libertarian social cause after marijuana. License sex workers, insure them, and keep them as healthy as possible and out of the hands of people that abuse them. I bet we'd see a sharp decrease in venereal diseases.


This. I think it's ridiculous to still have prostitution illegal. It will be just another job/business, with all the rules, regulations, and safety measures of any other business. Why we can't be like Germany is beyond me. They seem to have gotten things right and have a very high standard of living.
 
2013-03-01 03:25:19 AM

Baron Harkonnen: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?

I'm hoping that this will be the next libertarian social cause after marijuana. License sex workers, insure them, and keep them as healthy as possible and out of the hands of people that abuse them. I bet we'd see a sharp decrease in venereal diseases.


This does nothing to lessen the stds of garden variety trollops, of which we have an unlimited supply. But sure, legalize and tax the hell out of 'em.
 
2013-03-01 03:30:59 AM

Kevin72: gumpy: Bane of Broone: farkingismybusiness: Every time I've had jury duty I was sent home around lunch or so. Never been picked.

I just make up a lie that relates me to the case and let them know how tough it would be for me to deal with hearing the testimony. I'm usually outta there quick and also have never been picked.

then post on the Internet about perguring myself in court.

/that's a jailing

Either that, or purjatory.


dammit!
 
2013-03-01 03:36:09 AM
Jeez. All I ever got was a drunk guy beating another dude with a 2x4 in an empty lot.
 
2013-03-01 03:43:46 AM

gumpy: Bane of Broone: farkingismybusiness: Every time I've had jury duty I was sent home around lunch or so. Never been picked.

I just make up a lie that relates me to the case and let them know how tough it would be for me to deal with hearing the testimony. I'm usually outta there quick and also have never been picked.

then post on the Internet about perguring myself in court.

/that's a jailing


I'm shaking in my boots.
 
2013-03-01 03:44:26 AM
SEXERCISE!

/bow chicka wow wow
 
2013-03-01 03:48:17 AM
Just had mine.  Got called to a panel within 90 minutes of showing up.  Domestic violence case, details weren't really given but apparently the girl swung at the guy with a bat and barely grazed him and he was a macho retired Marine so he didn't want to admit it happened.  Jury selection took two entire farking days and I was 4th to last called into the box.  I got on, I figure they ran out of challenges and were stuck with whoever was left.

Monday morning we sit around in the jury room for two hours, then the judge comes in and says they're modifying the charges so we're all dismissed.
 
2013-03-01 03:51:05 AM
So...

Did the video make anything stand up in court?
 
2013-03-01 03:51:46 AM
They wouldn't be posing for the camera, I doubt it's all that hot.
 
2013-03-01 03:56:38 AM

Loren: They wouldn't be posing for the camera, I doubt it's all that hot.


I prefer when they don't do that.  When they keep their heads as far apart as possible, to give the camera as much to look at as possible, they don't seem to be into each other that much.
 
2013-03-01 04:00:18 AM
Got called once, but it was the week of finals in college so I got it delayed or something. Never been called since.
 
2013-03-01 04:13:28 AM

Baron Harkonnen: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?

I'm hoping that this will be the next libertarian social cause after marijuana. License sex workers, insure them, and keep them as healthy as possible and out of the hands of people that abuse them. I bet we'd see a sharp decrease in venereal diseases.


If only it were that simple.

Problem is is that we have no idea of what negative consequences will come out of it. Legalizing prostitution is something that I do like, but we really should do a lot of research to make the transition as smooth as possible.
 
2013-03-01 04:28:29 AM

viscountalpha: L.D. Ablo: Oh, man.  This would be fun, but I always get bounced from juries.

I spent a few years as a public defender and was a victim of two separate violent crimes, so I'm pretty much radioactive.

you lucky sob. I'm jealous.


Two years as a public defender is a lot more hell than the average lifetime jury duty.
 
2013-03-01 04:43:40 AM

cman: Baron Harkonnen: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?

I'm hoping that this will be the next libertarian social cause after marijuana. License sex workers, insure them, and keep them as healthy as possible and out of the hands of people that abuse them. I bet we'd see a sharp decrease in venereal diseases.

If only it were that simple.

Problem is is that we have no idea of what negative consequences will come out of it. Legalizing prostitution is something that I do like, but we really should do a lot of research to make the transition as smooth as possible.


That, and the fact that most prostitutes don't fit the Hollywood ideal of a beautiful young woman who wants to explore her sexuality and make money doing it.  Most are druggies who can't hold down any other form of employment, so if you license and regulate prostitution, they would still be illegal prostitutes getting arrested.
 
2013-03-01 04:55:54 AM

HotWingAgenda: That, and the fact that most prostitutes don't fit the Hollywood ideal of a beautiful young woman who wants to explore her sexuality and make money doing it. Most are druggies who can't hold down any other form of employment, so if you license and regulate prostitution, they would still be illegal prostitutes getting arrested.


Are most prostitutes really druggies who can't hold down any other form of employment? I've yet to see evidence that proves this.

Even if we stipulate that it's true, I'd think that trend would have to do more with the fact that prostitution's been stigmatized by the religious right. Every church indoctrinates their women to believe that their virginity is the most precious thing on earth. I'd say that if only social outcasts engage in prostitution, it says a lot more about the puritanical nature of our social fabric than anything else. If we didn't have religious fanatics trying to shove Christianity down the throat of every single American, I think we would see less of a stigma attached to this activity.
 
2013-03-01 05:01:32 AM

cman: Baron Harkonnen: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?

I'm hoping that this will be the next libertarian social cause after marijuana. License sex workers, insure them, and keep them as healthy as possible and out of the hands of people that abuse them. I bet we'd see a sharp decrease in venereal diseases.

If only it were that simple.

Problem is is that we have no idea of what negative consequences will come out of it. Legalizing prostitution is something that I do like, but we really should do a lot of research to make the transition as smooth as possible.


Just think of the tax revenue it would bring in.  It would also be good for hos, they could write off rubbers and clear heels.
 
2013-03-01 05:19:39 AM

cman: Baron Harkonnen: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?

I'm hoping that this will be the next libertarian social cause after marijuana. License sex workers, insure them, and keep them as healthy as possible and out of the hands of people that abuse them. I bet we'd see a sharp decrease in venereal diseases.

If only it were that simple.

Problem is is that we have no idea of what negative consequences will come out of it. Legalizing prostitution is something that I do like, but we really should do a lot of research to make the transition as smooth as possible.


I'd suspect we can get a good general idea by looking at the Nederlands.
 
2013-03-01 05:29:26 AM

HotWingAgenda: cman: Baron Harkonnen: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?

I'm hoping that this will be the next libertarian social cause after marijuana. License sex workers, insure them, and keep them as healthy as possible and out of the hands of people that abuse them. I bet we'd see a sharp decrease in venereal diseases.

If only it were that simple.

Problem is is that we have no idea of what negative consequences will come out of it. Legalizing prostitution is something that I do like, but we really should do a lot of research to make the transition as smooth as possible.

That, and the fact that most prostitutes don't fit the Hollywood ideal of a beautiful young woman who wants to explore her sexuality and make money doing it.  Most are druggies who can't hold down any other form of employment, so if you license and regulate prostitution, they would still be illegal prostitutes getting arrested.


I'm sure many prostitutes are drug addicts - especially ones you see on the street, but it seems to work okay in Nevada and even outside of Nevada there a lot of massage parlors where the authorities have no control.

That means you don't know if they are regularly tested for HIV and other STDs and apparently there's a problem with human trafficking.

Get them into a health office with valid IDs stating they've been tested and offer them an opportunity to come forward if they are underage or forced/coerced into it.

Obviously there's a market for it and the legalize prostitutes might be more expensive but given the choice between a crack whore on the street who might not even use condoms and a legal prostitute who you have a reasonable belief that is HIV free, I think most people would avoid the crack whore.

Any extra expenses incurred by issuing IDs should be paid for through fees and taxes.
 
2013-03-01 05:59:34 AM

silvervial: Baron Harkonnen: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?

I'm hoping that this will be the next libertarian social cause after marijuana. License sex workers, insure them, and keep them as healthy as possible and out of the hands of people that abuse them. I bet we'd see a sharp decrease in venereal diseases.

This. I think it's ridiculous to still have prostitution illegal. It will be just another job/business, with all the rules, regulations, and safety measures of any other business. Why we can't be like Germany is beyond me. They seem to have gotten things right and have a very high standard of living.


Politicians pander to prudes for easy votes.
Also, everyone loves a sex scandal. Especially the cops.
 
2013-03-01 06:01:55 AM

David Faustino's rap career: Just think of the tax revenue it would bring in. It would also be good for hos, they could write off rubbers and clear heels.


What do you do with under-the-table prostitution, have the IRS bring charges? I guess at least then it would be in the hands of experts at screwing. Would they bust them for tax evasion or impersonating a government official?
 
2013-03-01 06:25:01 AM
Cocktails..a nice dinner, bottle of wine
seems like prostitution is just easier
 
2013-03-01 07:00:20 AM
 
2013-03-01 07:14:08 AM
So. If you get picked up for prostitution on the street it's a night in jail and a fine. But if you charge real money for it, you get a nation wide trial and real jail time?

Or is all this hubbub because she's white and cute?
 
2013-03-01 07:21:26 AM
stuhayes2010:
Or is all this hubbub because she's white and cute?

Of course the case appeals to America's prurient interest.  And the people loudly decrying the sinfulness of it all are the ones glued to their TV's the most.  The shriveled church women eager to witness the punishing of a shameless trollop they know their husbands would be attracted to, and the sweating religious men who wish they'd had a crack at her before she was arrested, sitting in their living rooms together fascinated by the whole spectacle.
 
2013-03-01 07:27:52 AM
Only time I served jury duty, it was in civil court.  A woman was suing a plastic surgeon over her boob job.
Between the stack of Polaroids of her posing topless, and the more clinical pics the surgeon provided; I was almost tired of seeing her boobs by the end of the trial.


/Almost
 
2013-03-01 07:32:26 AM
Rural Juror?
 
2013-03-01 07:39:08 AM
In the interest of science I endured one of the videos likely shown to the jury. I cannot help but think that several of the jury members, and possibly their significant others, had some serious sex that night. She is rather attractive and appears to be having fun.
 
2013-03-01 08:01:18 AM
Personally, I'm hoping for jury duty on a case involving the defendant overstating the strength of his medical marijuana. Sorry judge, were gonna need more samples in the deliberation chamber.... *cough cough* yeah another oz should do it.. *cough*
 
2013-03-01 08:03:14 AM

Gig103: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?


Unless there was coercion involved, I would always rule not guilty.
 
2013-03-01 08:04:09 AM

robohobo: Baron Harkonnen: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?

I'm hoping that this will be the next libertarian social cause after marijuana. License sex workers, insure them, and keep them as healthy as possible and out of the hands of people that abuse them. I bet we'd see a sharp decrease in venereal diseases.

This does nothing to lessen the stds of garden variety trollops, of which we have an unlimited supply. But sure, legalize and tax the hell out of 'em.


No Such Agency: stuhayes2010:
Or is all this hubbub because she's white and cute?

Of course the case appeals to America's prurient interest.  And the people loudly decrying the sinfulness of it all are the ones glued to their TV's the most.  The shriveled church women eager to witness the punishing of a shameless trollop they know their husbands would be attracted to, and the sweating religious men who wish they'd had a crack at her before she was arrested, sitting in their living rooms together fascinated by the whole spectacle.


eggzzakly.
re-the comments about legalizing anything - it took nearly 50 years to re-legalize weed in a few states.
there'll be no legalization of this until all the fundamentalists are dead and buried, for a long time.

Having others views of morality control the society I live in chafes on my personal freedoms.  There's no ointment in the world can make that better.
coreyshead.com
 
2013-03-01 08:07:47 AM

stuhayes2010: So. If you get picked up for prostitution on the street it's a night in jail and a fine. But if you charge real money for it, you get a nation wide trial and real jail time?

Or is all this hubbub because she's white and cute?


She's white? I'm getting a part Latin or Asian vibe off of her.
/hawt!
 
2013-03-01 08:11:40 AM

squirrelflavoredyogurt: The guy in the alleged skype video is 61 years old. I don't care how hot the chick was, 45 minutes of skype porn between a 61 year old dude and a prostitute is on my, "do not want" list.


Eventually, if you're lucky, you'll be 61.  Then it will be on your bucket list.
 
2013-03-01 08:16:52 AM

robohobo: I got called once, but it was years after I'd moved states. Yeah, I got called in the state I moved from. Idiots.

Haven't been called in ten years,  I think it's tied to voter registration here, and I'm not registered.


So how many times did you vote in 2012? in how many districts? states? YOU have so many avenues when you don't stick to the rules ya know.
This is just a farking with ya btw. I'm just zumbaing with ya.
 
2013-03-01 08:19:48 AM

Marcintosh


There's no ointment in the world can make that better.


You could try an unguent. Or possibly pancakes house.
 
2013-03-01 08:19:59 AM
I wonder how much she charged for anal?
 
2013-03-01 08:26:47 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: 250 for 45 is pretty steep. Do we have pictures of this woman?


What she lacks in looks, she more than made up for in enthusiasm.  And from the neck down she's built pretty well.  That, sir, is an E ticket ride.  I'm not sure I could stay on for 8 seconds.
 
2013-03-01 08:30:36 AM
From the comments:

"If you can't see clit, you must acquit." -- Johnny Cockring
 
2013-03-01 08:38:00 AM
Her popsicle video was pretty hawt.

I watched it for a while and it got really, *really* good....then I lost interest in it.
 
2013-03-01 09:18:52 AM
perfect example of the bullshiat side of prostitution that our government, law enforcement and feminazis can stick up their bungholes.

sex work does not have to be a sad story drug addiction pimp daddy run away slave trafficing miserable horrible thing. your government and their law enforcement gestapo makes sure it is so.

wealthy powerful people own and control the government. these same people want to make sure the great unwashed masses keep reproducing future slave workers for their factories and cubicle farms. their friends 'religion' support them in their cause. they control your crotch.

many wealthy powerful people live in mansions and estates owned for generations by their families. they also own a huge quantity of apartment buildings and rental properties. they profit off the backs of the working class. many working people will never own a home. most who will work long and hard saving for that day, then are indebted for years to the wealthy families banks, insurance companies and the governments tax offices.

the wealthy powerful families / government / church minimize sex education and maximize ignorance and shame. they want your teen age children pregnant and stuck in the misery cycle of low paying jobs and renting in their miserable rundown buildings.

changing the face of sex work would not only eliminate the sad story drug addiction pimp daddy run away slave trafficing side of the business, it would make for a lot of happy people who are able to fill what are perfectly natural human wants and needs.

call me kookie but I think it might even eliminate a few rapes.

it's pathetic how many men go without sexual gratification because they are socially inept, home bound, shy, have had their hearts broken so badly they are afraid to try again or are married to women who have lost interest - and this happens an awfully lot - and these wives just don't care that their significant other misses human contact.

know this: members of wealthy powerful families have all the sex they want, any kind they want. at their level they can easily pay to play. they don't get caught getting head in an alley, being publicly shamed under arrest and wind up on the internet on a sex offender web site. they call an escort service, get the most attractive sex workers you've ever seen and have themselves a jolly old time.

you should be able to too. you're just as good as them. you're probably better. most wealthy powerful people that bulldoze over others and control other peoples lives are not good humans, not at all. they are self-serving greedy scum.

common folk across America need to wake up and demand the face of sex work be changed. the sooner Project Get Off America comes to fruition the sooner we can all come together happily.
 
2013-03-01 09:23:08 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Omahawg: AverageAmericanGuy: 250 for 45 is pretty steep. Do we have pictures of this woman?

[crimcourts.files.wordpress.com image 189x230]

[downloads.thedaily.com image 662x449]

250 is still pretty high.

200 for an hour, I could see that...



This is Maine. Consider the market.
 
2013-03-01 09:27:49 AM
I'll never be placed on a jury, because I would nullify the hell out of a victimless crime like this.
 
2013-03-01 09:35:01 AM

The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight: [i23.photobucket.com image 325x183]
Well? Did he (inaudable)?


twimg0-a.akamaihd.net

Jesus Christ, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!
 
2013-03-01 09:38:01 AM

ParagonComplex: Who the hell would want to see some old dude fark anyone? Subby has some questionable tastes as do the rest of you or so it seems. Doesn't matter how attractive the lady is. An ugly old man trumps the ruination factor.


1.bp.blogspot.com

This gentleman would care to disagree with you.
 
2013-03-01 10:08:52 AM

desertfool: SilentStrider: BarkingUnicorn: Somebody's got to leak those videos soon!

i certainly hope so.

yes, we have covered this before:
http://www.fark.com/comments/7386733/Note-to-potential-Johns-Not-onl y- did-Maines-infamous-Zumba-Ho-secretly-videotape-her-sessions-she-also- uploaded-them-to-dozens-of-websites

http://www.fark.com/comments/7379629/If-youre-worried-your-family-wi ll -find-out-you-paid-to-have-sex-with-a-bony-kneed-chubby-horse-faced-pr ostitute-in-Maine-good-news-list-wont-be-published-until-Monday

Several of us found links to said videos, but not sure if the are still active.


thank you

NSFW http://gawker.com/5952261/the-collected-nsfw-videos-of-alexis-wright- t he-maine-zumba-madam
 
2013-03-01 10:51:58 AM

Gig103: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?


It happens quite frequently.  Damn near impossible to get a jury to convict for in in Portland, I hear.

The problem is that it's not about punishing the sex workers.  It's about stopping the pimps.  You have to be able to hold something over the sex workers' head to get her to rat out her pimp (who is the one you're really after) and there is no leverage when she knows that the jury will vote "not guilty" because they have this mindset.

Fight the prostitution ban at the ballot box, not in the jury box.
 
2013-03-01 11:15:57 AM
I got picked to be a juror on a district court case. It was three days of listening about grown adults arguing/gossiping in the work place.

The best part was our deliberation time. We decided the fairest way to come up with compensation was to go write on the board the amount we thought the plaintiff should get and average it out. Yours truly was the last juror, and as I was doing some quick mental math walking up to the board, I saw these people were going to get something close to a $100,000 settlement for acting like children. So I walked over and wrote -$100,000. I giggled when the head juror got to the settlement line and said ~$600.


/we saw no porn
 
2013-03-01 11:32:25 AM

semiotix: "Hello?" comes a man's voice from the computer. "Did he (inaudible)?"

"Yes, he did," Wright answers. "Shocking."

Goddammit, now I'm going to be up all night wondering what was so shocking.


Spiderman? Starlight mint? Donkey Punch?  Cleveland Steamer?  How many syllables are we talking here?
 
2013-03-01 03:15:45 PM

TheGogmagog: semiotix: "Hello?" comes a man's voice from the computer. "Did he (inaudible)?"

"Yes, he did," Wright answers. "Shocking."

Goddammit, now I'm going to be up all night wondering what was so shocking.

Spiderman? Starlight mint? Donkey Punch?  Cleveland Steamer?  How many syllables are we talking here?


Alabama hot-pocket.
 
2013-03-01 04:29:08 PM

Baron Harkonnen: We need more Jury Nullification in prostitution charges. Who cares that he paid for sex?

I'm hoping that this will be the next libertarian social cause after marijuana. License sex workers, insure them, and keep them as healthy as possible and out of the hands of people that abuse them. I bet we'd see a sharp decrease in venereal diseases.


We have it in Nevada--sort of. Prostitution is only legal in brothels, and those are only allowed in the rural counties. Yep, prostitution is illegal in Las Vegas or Reno, though from Vegas you can just drive over to Pahrump and, well, they say you get the best rump in Pahrump (*rimshot*). It happens all the time, and everyone knows it happens, yet nothing gets done. I think it should be outright legalized and regulated, like you said. Brothels are regulated but obviously prostitution goes on outside of those every damn day.

CSS time: On my first trip to Vegas, I watched a guy try to pick up a hooker on the Strip... who turned out to be an undercover cop. Dude got busted big time. And then shortly after moving here, I was hanging out at a Starbucks downtown with a friend and we witnessed a girl and her customers talking "business" openly, right in front of us. She and one of the men had just walked out of a casino across the street and he certainly looked happy!
 
2013-03-01 04:37:11 PM

Pennsylvania Dutch Oven: ParagonComplex: Who the hell would want to see some old dude fark anyone? Subby has some questionable tastes as do the rest of you or so it seems. Doesn't matter how attractive the lady is. An ugly old man trumps the ruination factor.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 240x311]

This gentleman would care to disagree with you.


That gentleman is a simpleton who doesn't understand he's a novelty and a joke.
 
2013-03-01 08:09:02 PM

ParagonComplex: Pennsylvania Dutch Oven: ParagonComplex: Who the hell would want to see some old dude fark anyone? Subby has some questionable tastes as do the rest of you or so it seems. Doesn't matter how attractive the lady is. An ugly old man trumps the ruination factor.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 240x311]

This gentleman would care to disagree with you.

That gentleman is a simpleton who doesn't understand he's a novelty and a joke.


If that's the case, it seems to be a pretty long-running and popular joke.
The truth is that most guys really just don't care what the guy in the porn looks like.  He's just a prop.  Bigger props are popular, however.
 
2013-03-02 10:16:05 AM

ristst: Her popsicle video was pretty hawt.

I watched it for a while and it got really, *really* good....then I lost interest in it.


Agreed. I have not been able to look at a Popsicle since without grinning.
 
2013-03-02 02:48:53 PM
i had a chance to go on a child rape jury
but i refused, saying i would vote guilty regardless of what happened
 
2013-03-02 04:18:37 PM

Gawdzila: ParagonComplex: Pennsylvania Dutch Oven: ParagonComplex: Who the hell would want to see some old dude fark anyone? Subby has some questionable tastes as do the rest of you or so it seems. Doesn't matter how attractive the lady is. An ugly old man trumps the ruination factor.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 240x311]

This gentleman would care to disagree with you.

That gentleman is a simpleton who doesn't understand he's a novelty and a joke.

If that's the case, it seems to be a pretty long-running and popular joke.
The truth is that most guys really just don't care what the guy in the porn looks like.  He's just a prop.  Bigger props are popular, however.


It is one of the more popular and long running jokes. Most guys may, but most guy's peni~ also shrink at the sight of a gross old dude. But hey, I'm not a big enough jerk to piss on what other people like. More power to them. I'm probably in the minority.
 
2013-03-02 06:43:14 PM

ParagonComplex: Most guys may, but most guy's peni~ also shrink at the sight of a gross old dude.


True, but they aren't really paying any attention to him anyway.  There are other things to look at.
 
Displayed 94 of 94 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report