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(Time)   A fascinating (and heartbreaking) look through a photographer's lens as she chronicles one couple's descent in domestic violence   (lightbox.time.com) divider line 585
    More: Sad, domestic violence, Ohio University  
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30766 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Feb 2013 at 10:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-28 11:01:50 PM

Freudian_slipknot: GoSurfing: The "nice guys" have to work so hard because the women they want are <i>super</i> human, i.e. unobtainable and out of their reach. The "nice guys" come from the point of inferiority, not superiority to the women. Pretty damn simple.

See, I think you're mistaking putting a woman on a pedestal with still assuming she's a person and not just a shiny goal to reach at the end of a journey.

When you actually like women as people and interact with them as such, it becomes extremely clear that they're all different and everyone has flaws.  When you treat them like a gilded barbie doll, you're treating them as a prize, no matter how valuable, and that does diminish the actual humanity of a person.

Whether they think they're superior to the prize is irrelevant, if all a woman ever can be to them is a prize.


Flippity flop, so what you previously said doesn't matter. Got it.
 
2013-02-28 11:02:19 PM

sendtodave: That's not her job.


Bullshiat. That's everyone's job.
 
2013-02-28 11:02:41 PM

you are a puppet: JerkStore: I'm definitely not OK with this. I don't care what you call yourself, photojournalist, when a woman is being beaten in front of you, YOU FARKING DO WHAT YOU CAN TO SAVE HER. You don't keep snapping pictures hoping to document...whatever it was you were trying to document. It's not a secret that women are beaten, yet you let it happen right in front of your eyes, never mind the children who will be royally farked up from these experiences.

Fail on so many levels. But at least you got some great shots and some buzz about your "important" work.

Fark you.

In other words you wanted to see two women beaten that night.


Glad to see he read the article and saw there were two more people in the house at the time.
 
2013-02-28 11:03:11 PM

Anderson's Pooper: The main problem with the VAWA, apart from the name, is that is has been used as a pre-emptive strike in numerous divorce cases.  Most judges and magistrates will grant a protection order against a man based solely on a woman's testimony that she is afraid for her safety or that of her children.  This includes cases when there has been NO domestic violence. "He yelled at me and he owns a gun" is all it takes. Once the guy is out of the home, good luck for him getting custody/visitation or control of the real estate.  There have been too many BS cases filed under VAWA.  For the cases like the one in the article it is a godsend but it has been tremendously abused and I blame my legal colleagues in large part for that.


You realize that domestic violence can include yelling, right? It doesn't necessarily require someone to get beaten.
Basically, you're arguing that the main problem with VAWA is that you can't be emotionally abusive and threatening without getting in trouble.
 
2013-02-28 11:03:14 PM
Ashamed to say I came stupidly close to something like this.  Took a step back before anything happened.  Saw the look in my kids' eyes after their mom started to slug me..... that was enough.  Heartbreaking.  Still is, 7 years later.
 
2013-02-28 11:03:21 PM

TV's Vinnie: "Shane moved Maggie and her children to a trailer park in Somerset, Ohio. The location was farther away than Maggie had ever been from her family and friends before, and she said her feelings of isolation only increased over time."

I think that was the dirtbag's motive the whole time.

[i45.tinypic.com image 735x490]


You are more right than you will ever know (I hope)
 
2013-02-28 11:03:45 PM

claudiogut: That speaks volumes about the quality of that woman that was attracted to that ex-con... and also about the female photographer who was most probably attracted to him initially... while completely ignoring the father of the kids who is paying child support for that skank to endanger his kids by having that ex con around...


...what?  Did you read the article at all?  They weren't divorced; just separated.  He wasn't paying child support.  And it DIDN'T ignore him at all.  Hell, the last photos in the set were dealing with her gathering the tatters of her life back together and moving her family to Alaska to live with her husband who she had mended her estrangement with, who she specifically praised as "[He] has been so understanding about everything, he wants to take care of us. I'm really lucky."

So again:  What?
 
2013-02-28 11:04:04 PM

moonscatter: gja: serial_crusher: "found jesus in prison"

Wow. Even he got busted?
DAY-UM!

I seriously had a running joke about a "pastor of the week" being a respondent in a protective order case. Even had one asshole state that "demons made me do it" and tried to elicit testimony from the victim that demons were real. Utterly bizarre.


Thank you for your service.
 
2013-02-28 11:04:10 PM

Theaetetus: GoSurfing: The "nice guys" come from the point of inferiority, not superiority to the women. Pretty damn simple.

Ask them some time not whether the women are "unobtainable" or "out of their league," but whether the women are smarter than them, or more capable than them, or whatnot. You'll find pretty quickly that they think they're superior in every aspect but looks, and also that they think that looks are all a woman is good for.


Not going to claim to be a nice guy, but seriously, the women I've liked that didn't give me the time of day were more talented/smarter/awesome/etc in every way, shape, form. That's honestly what I thought. It wasn't a "putting her on a pedestal" complex either, rather just knowing you couldn't compete with someone way higher on the social ladder.

Maybe I'm an anomaly.
 
2013-02-28 11:04:31 PM

Aar1012: Jesus Christ. This made makes me sick. This happened, not only in my home state, within arms reach of my alma mater. The damned kids that go to OU will never realize the poverty and social problems that occur around them in that region of the state. They'll get their degree and jump ship without leaving any good mark on the south east.


Don't count your chickens so fast. I graduated in the bicentennial class in 04, spent plenty of time volunteering  for my sisters place and the youth rehab center. Stayed in Athens after i graduated for a year as well continuing on with it. Spent time working with Strickland before he was Governor and our buddy Jimmy Stewart. Many students get very involved in the community and Meigs county outreach
 
2013-02-28 11:04:35 PM

sendtodave: JerkStore: I'm definitely not OK with this. I don't care what you call yourself, photojournalist, when a woman is being beaten in front of you, YOU FARKING DO WHAT YOU CAN TO SAVE HER. You don't keep snapping pictures hoping to document...whatever it was you were trying to document. It's not a secret that women are beaten, yet you let it happen right in front of your eyes, never mind the children who will be royally farked up from these experiences.

Fail on so many levels. But at least you got some great shots and some buzz about your "important" work.

Fark you.

That's not her job.  She made sure someone had called the cops.  You think she should have, what, started hitting the guy?

And besides, she's probably helping battered women more this way, by raising awareness.


You gotta wonder, too, if the woman in this case might have been more likely to pull the whole "But he loooooooooves me!" card and go back to him if this photographic evidence of what a piece of shiat he is didn't exist.  I mean, I can't imagine any mother looking at that picture of her tiny daughter trying to get between her and the asshole beating the shiat out of her and going back to the asshole.
 
2013-02-28 11:04:53 PM

A Terrible Human: My father didn't drink,do drugs or have any tattoos yet he managed to beat my mom,sister and me for the first 14 years of my farking life. He threatened to beat my mom and me to death over child support. Take your nice guy bullshiat and cram it up your ass and farking die. You don't realize how bad shiat can get if you haven't lived through it.


My dad did drugs, but appeared normal to everyone other than very close family members. No tattoos, background in sales, business owner, very nice and charismatic to customers, new friends, strangers, unless they acted like an asshole themselves.

Yet he was mentally abusive to me and my mom ever since I can remember, even before the drug problem. Luckily very little hitting, but that wouldn't have made the situation much worse for me *shrug*. I never minded being hit much, but the years of mental abuse took a huge toll.

Anyway, point being, lack of tattoos and being "nice" in public, doesn't = nonabuser.

And I've known plenty of tatted up people who have done jailtime, that would NEVER hit a woman. A few that were actually jailed for PROTECTING a woman they didn't even know, by beating the crap out of her abuser when he took to beating up on her in public.
But the law doesn't look kindly on breaking a guys legs, even if it is for a good cause. :\
And unfortunately the abuser will probably take that out later on his wife or g/f as somehow her fault.
 
2013-02-28 11:05:16 PM

GoSurfing: Flippity flop, so what you previously said doesn't matter. Got it.


Actually, I just restated my point.  Believe it or not, women consider being thought of as not-really-human to be a huge insult and not some kind of glowing awesome compliment. It means the woman is INFERIOR, no matter how shiny.
 
2013-02-28 11:05:26 PM
I grew up in a similar house (despite my parents being well-educated professionals and non-drinkers). I really feel for those kids, fark.
 
2013-02-28 11:05:52 PM

Yogimus: sendtodave: That's not her job.

Bullshiat. That's everyone's job.


Their criticism counters what actual law enforcement officers have told me - that physically intervening would have likely only made the situation worse, endangering me, and further endangering Maggie.

No, it isn't.
 
2013-02-28 11:05:52 PM

sendtodave: megarian: Many of the guys that pride themselves as being the "nice guy" are the ones that are undoubtably the most farked up and...well, un-nice.

I could be wrong. I could just have encountered these observations because I have made less-than-good decisions in my life rendering them obviously skewed and expected, but it sure doesn't seem that way.

I like the "I'm a guy" kind of guy. If they specify (and insist) that they are nice or talented or super-easy-going or whatever... it's automatic Opposite Day in my head.

My girlfriend (now fiancee) said that she liked me because I was nice.  I told her immediately that, no, I am an asshole, too, just like all guys.

Then I work to prove her right, and me wrong.

But I don't want to be on a pedestal, shouting "oh, look at me, I'm so nice, better than everyone else!"  Because that's bullshiat.


I am the opposite of an expert, but you're doing it right.
 
2013-02-28 11:06:02 PM
/50% snark, 50% curiosity. Feel free to tell me to half fark myself.

Helping to stop "Rape Tours" of reservations.

No, I'm not joking.


WTF is a 'Rape Tour'? Although something tells me I am really not going to like the answer.
 
2013-02-28 11:06:39 PM
i.qkme.me
 
2013-02-28 11:06:55 PM
timethemoment.files.wordpress.com

/farking TERRIFYING
 
2013-02-28 11:07:16 PM

2wolves: moonscatter: gja: serial_crusher: "found jesus in prison"

Wow. Even he got busted?
DAY-UM!

I seriously had a running joke about a "pastor of the week" being a respondent in a protective order case. Even had one asshole state that "demons made me do it" and tried to elicit testimony from the victim that demons were real. Utterly bizarre.

Thank you for your service.


It was a privilege, no thanks will ever be needed.I wish every day I could have done more. And I have two dear friends who fight in the trenches still every day and I do all I can to support them. Every pro  bono case I take involves domestic violence on some level.

I wish I had the strength to make it a career, but perhaps among the most heartbreaking professions are those that deal with this. And the people who do this work are my personal heroes, each and every one.
 
2013-02-28 11:08:19 PM
These threads always make me feel like hugging a lot of you. Curse this digital divide...
 
2013-02-28 11:08:33 PM

serial_crusher: TommyymmoT: "Shane had been trying to make a career as a singer in a Christian rock band".

"found jesus in prison" is probably a good schtick for a Christian rock musician.

name for a Rock Band!
 
2013-02-28 11:08:47 PM
The baby figured it ouyt. You put yourself between the two people fighting, and you tell the non-hostile one to "GET OUT!".  And you pray you don't get stabbed or knocked the fark out.

(fun weekend at GF house)
 
2013-02-28 11:08:53 PM

starrion: /50% snark, 50% curiosity. Feel free to tell me to half fark myself.

Helping to stop "Rape Tours" of reservations.

No, I'm not joking.


WTF is a 'Rape Tour'? Although something tells me I am really not going to like the answer.


You've heard of "sex tourism" in places like Cambodia? Imagine if there were no protection for Native American women on reservations.
 
2013-02-28 11:09:12 PM
1) Subs, the author was female. I see you cared enough to read the article, beyond the headline.

2) The author is an attention whore. Period.
 
2013-02-28 11:09:19 PM
But he looks so normal and unthreatening.
 
2013-02-28 11:09:29 PM
t.qkme.me
 
2013-02-28 11:09:58 PM

GoSurfing: the women I've liked that didn't give me the time of day were more talented/smarter/awesome/etc in every way, shape, form.


Sounds like the women made a really good choice then.  Did you ever consider trying to become more talented/educated/awesome so you could land women like that?  Or maybe settling for the kind of women who were actually as talented/smart/awesome as you are, rather than getting upset that people with more going on weren't lowering their standards for you?

If they really are more talented/smarter/awesome/etc in every way, shape, form then why would they possibly want to settle for someone less talented/dumber/less awesome than themselves - especially considering you wouldn't settle for the same?
 
2013-02-28 11:10:31 PM

Freudian_slipknot: megarian: Many of the guys that pride themselves as being the "nice guy" are the ones that are undoubtably the most farked up and...well, un-nice.

I think most of them focus on the "nice" thing because they have to work SO HARD to be a decent human towards women, who they clearly actually think are sub-humans or uninteresting or otherwise unworthy of friendship, that all they can think of is the sheer wasted effort that went into treating them like people, only to receive little or no sex in return.

Guys who treat women like actual people by reflex rather than design don't consider themselves to be particularly "nice guys."  Like you said, they're just guys.  Guys who don't actually hate women.

/bet the guy in the article considers himself a nice guy
//would tell you all about the biatches who left him for no reason for some other asshole


Interesting. I liked what you had to say, especially in your first paragraph. It seems completely logical when someone else says it :).

/would tell you about the douches that left me for biatches
//good riddance
///bad rubbish
 
2013-02-28 11:11:18 PM

sendtodave: Yogimus: sendtodave: That's not her job.

Bullshiat. That's everyone's job.

Their criticism counters what actual law enforcement officers have told me - that physically intervening would have likely only made the situation worse, endangering me, and further endangering Maggie.

No, it isn't.


Puck you. You are a piece of shiate if you accept another human being get beaten in front of you. No excuse, you are a farking coward for watching without acting.  Is there risk? Yes. Man up, grow a pair of ovaries, whatever it takes.
 
2013-02-28 11:11:59 PM

A Terrible Human: JerkyMeat: Young women LOVE men like this and they get what they deserve.  They reject the "nice" guy.  So, now she knows. Fark her.

Quantum Apostrophe: Don't forget, ladies, he'll change for you. That nice guy at the office is just so boring and nerdy.

BummerDuck: She was actually good looking, and I am sure she could have gotten a better, or at least less violent male companion. However, I'm sure she told all those guys "You are a really nice guy, but you are not my type...".

The fark is wrong with some of you? Out of all threads this is the one you pick to pull out your nice guy bullshiat?


Are you new here?  This is a pretty consistent mindset thread to thread.  There could be a thread where the news story is about  a popular  farkette who was raped to death with a jigsaw on tape, and a dozen farkers would whine that that's what she gets for not dating them.  Because they are nice guys.  So nice in fact that they think that murder is an acceptable punishment for not farking them.
 
TWX
2013-02-28 11:12:04 PM

moonscatter: Abox: moonscatter: she was never at fault.

In that you can't blame a person for their own stupidity?

He assaulted her. He failed kindergarten. No, a victim is NOT at fault for the assault committed on them. It falls squarely and completely on them.

If she had any fault, then wow, maybe he shouldn't be criminally charged, right? Maybe she should recant, or work on getting the charges dismissed, I mean, after all, being almost murdered was her fault for not loving him enough, right?


Two wrongs don't make a right.

She can be at fault while he's at fault and her fault does not excuse his.

Her fault is that her life choices led her to being a mother at fifteen, a mother for a second time at seventeen, and somewhere in that, married and now estranged from that husband (and I wonder if estranged just meant that she couldn't handle his military deployment), and shacked up with a convict that she became acquainted with while he was still in prison.  This man is just one more in a series of bad decisions that she has made.  Certainly it's rough that she lost a parent while still a child herself, but she's past the point of being able to cite entirely outside influences as to why things are the way that they are.

I hope, for the sake of her kids, that this served as a significant enough of a wakeup call that she'll actually make some changes in her life.  Changes like learning that one doesn't need a significant-other if there's no suitable significant-other available.  The kids are probably better off growing up fatherless than they are growing up with horrible examples.
 
2013-02-28 11:12:05 PM

zabadu: StrangeQ: KIA: Welcome to redneck America.  Oh, and... don't date felons or people who carry visible demonstrations of their inability to make good life choices.

She was 19 with a four year old and a two year old; I don't think she is exactly a paragon of good decision making.

She's still a kid, and he got her when she was lonely and mad at the father of the two kids for going away to Afghanistan and leaving her to deal.  The prison guy paid attention to her (by phone), told her how much better he would treat her and she bought it.  She doesn't have the emotional maturity to understand how life really works.

Now she knows, and I'll bet she damn well appreciates the father of her kids.  I, in no way, blame her for the other guys violence, as violence is unacceptable in any relationship, and I'm sorry she had to learn the lesson the hard way.  Some women never do.  I hope like hell she remembers when times get rough again.

I taught my nieces that you have to KNOW you can take care of yourself on your own before you get yourself involved in a relationship - so if something happens you know you can take care of yourself and not be afraid to leave.  And of course to stay away from guys like this.

If she had a kid at 15, I'm pretty positive that parental attention was something she missed out on for a long time.


You nailed it right there. She left her husband and father of her children because she was probably tired of her life with her husband and she wanted someone that could physically and emotionally be there for her at all times the way she wanted them to be. Instead she found this guy. This is what emotionally immature people do. At least she had the sense to leave this guy when he put his hands on her instead of staying with him thinking it would be a one time thing.

And even though she went back to her husband, I doubt there marriage will last very long. When she puts herself back together again, she will be off again to find another person who can fulfill her needs the way she wants them to.
 
2013-02-28 11:13:21 PM
timethemoment.files.wordpress.comdoubtfulnews.com
 
2013-02-28 11:13:22 PM

starrion: /50% snark, 50% curiosity. Feel free to tell me to half fark myself.

Helping to stop "Rape Tours" of reservations.

No, I'm not joking.


WTF is a 'Rape Tour'? Although something tells me I am really not going to like the answer.




Here's an article that mentions it.
 
2013-02-28 11:13:24 PM

Theaetetus: You realize that domestic violence can include yelling, right? It doesn't necessarily require someone to get beaten.
Basically, you're arguing that the main problem with VAWA is that you can't be emotionally abusive and threatening without getting in trouble.


If no one's health or life is actually threatened, then a CPO is NOT appropriate.  People should not be removed from their home because of something that might happen.  If you want out of the relationship, file for divorce and custody.  If you or the kids have been actually physically abused, THEN get the CPO.  The problem with the VAWA is that it allows CPOs to be granted based solely on one party's testimony. If you want him out of the house then have him arrested and follow through on it.  Hopefully you'll never yell at your partner so you won't risk being forcibly removed from your home.  There is a vast difference between arguing and abuse.
 
2013-02-28 11:13:37 PM
Throw the book at this a-hole, but jeez lady, you immediately shacked up with a tatted ex-con straight out of prison that you barely knew who is 11 years your elder and has no marketable skills while deciding to bring your had-em-while-you-were-a-child-yourself offspring along and didn't think there would be any volatility?
 
2013-02-28 11:13:45 PM

Yogimus: sendtodave: Yogimus: sendtodave: That's not her job.

Bullshiat. That's everyone's job.

Their criticism counters what actual law enforcement officers have told me - that physically intervening would have likely only made the situation worse, endangering me, and further endangering Maggie.

No, it isn't.

Puck you. You are a piece of shiate if you accept another human being get beaten in front of you. No excuse, you are a farking coward for watching without acting.  Is there risk? Yes. Man up, grow a pair of ovaries, whatever it takes.


[watchout_badassoverhere.jpg]
 
2013-02-28 11:13:50 PM

jake_lex: I mean, I can't imagine any mother looking at that picture of her tiny daughter trying to get between her and the asshole beating the shiat out of her and going back to the asshole.


I can, but yeah it should help.
 
2013-02-28 11:14:13 PM
The poor guy has long standing issues, and needs to make a go of therapy.. I understand with those tats, it's hard to earn a living wage, but it just takes some people longer to mature than others. I hope he gets the help he needs, and not just thrown back into the penal system. He's trying for chrissakes, just doesn't know how to handle it yet.
 
2013-02-28 11:14:56 PM

ongbok: zabadu: StrangeQ: KIA: Welcome to redneck America.  Oh, and... don't date felons or people who carry visible demonstrations of their inability to make good life choices.

She was 19 with a four year old and a two year old; I don't think she is exactly a paragon of good decision making.

She's still a kid, and he got her when she was lonely and mad at the father of the two kids for going away to Afghanistan and leaving her to deal.  The prison guy paid attention to her (by phone), told her how much better he would treat her and she bought it.  She doesn't have the emotional maturity to understand how life really works.

Now she knows, and I'll bet she damn well appreciates the father of her kids.  I, in no way, blame her for the other guys violence, as violence is unacceptable in any relationship, and I'm sorry she had to learn the lesson the hard way.  Some women never do.  I hope like hell she remembers when times get rough again.

I taught my nieces that you have to KNOW you can take care of yourself on your own before you get yourself involved in a relationship - so if something happens you know you can take care of yourself and not be afraid to leave.  And of course to stay away from guys like this.

If she had a kid at 15, I'm pretty positive that parental attention was something she missed out on for a long time.

You nailed it right there. She left her husband and father of her children because she was probably tired of her life with her husband and she wanted someone that could physically and emotionally be there for her at all times the way she wanted them to be. Instead she found this guy. This is what emotionally immature people do. At least she had the sense to leave this guy when he put his hands on her instead of staying with him thinking it would be a one time thing.

And even though she went back to her husband, I doubt there marriage will last very long. When she puts herself back together again, she will be off again to find another person who can ...


Biological father has the ability to take permanent custody of the kids because of her bad behavior, though. And until she can gain some emotional maturity, that will probably be in the best interest of the kids themselves.

Not saying that this would be the case in this case, but I have seen far too many cases where the dad would rather abandon than be around any kids he fathered that had another man acting in loco parentis.
 
2013-02-28 11:15:04 PM

sendtodave: Yogimus: sendtodave: Yogimus: sendtodave: That's not her job.

Bullshiat. That's everyone's job.

Their criticism counters what actual law enforcement officers have told me - that physically intervening would have likely only made the situation worse, endangering me, and further endangering Maggie.

No, it isn't.

Puck you. You are a piece of shiate if you accept another human being get beaten in front of you. No excuse, you are a farking coward for watching without acting.  Is there risk? Yes. Man up, grow a pair of ovaries, whatever it takes.

[watchout_badassoverhere.jpg]


Not badass. In fact, it worries me that so many people consider "being a human being" as being badass.
 
2013-02-28 11:15:11 PM

Anderson's Pooper: Theaetetus: You realize that domestic violence can include yelling, right? It doesn't necessarily require someone to get beaten.
Basically, you're arguing that the main problem with VAWA is that you can't be emotionally abusive and threatening without getting in trouble.

If no one's health or life is actually threatened, then a CPO is NOT appropriate.'


Reading comprehension problems, or a belief that a threat must actually include physical damage? Either way, you're wrong.
 
2013-02-28 11:15:17 PM

moonscatter: I spent almost two years getting protective orders for victims of domestic violence. I wish I could say this was a unique situation, but it isn't. It reads like a "worst of" the cases I handled. Isolating the victim from her family/support system, attaching at a time of weakness, ensuring that she believes that he can't be better without her, the tattoo (seen variations on this too many times, including a guy who came into court with a t shirt emblazoned with her picture and "i miss you" airbrushed on it).

And violence in front of the kids is the same as doing it TO The kids. The damage is incredible to their young  minds/psyches.


No, it's really not the same at all.
 
2013-02-28 11:15:32 PM

dr_blasto: Abox: moonscatter: she was never at fault.

In that you can't blame a person for their own stupidity?

In that it isn't her fault he can't stop kicking her ass or breaking the law. It is his fault for crossing that line and his fault alone. Sure, she made the mistake of hanging out with a douchebag, but the penalty for that should not be an ass kicking in front of your kids.


It's amazing that this has to be explained to alleged adults on Fark.
 
2013-02-28 11:15:35 PM

TV's Vinnie: And remember folks. The republicans  are dead-set against the Violence Against Women Act in any way, shape, or form.


Just like Gun Control, that iron law stop the criminal from acting. Oh wait, he was charged under state law?

Yogimus: TV's Vinnie: And remember folks. The republicans  are dead-set against the Violence Against Women Act in any way, shape, or form.

Link the act, specifically the portions you support.  I find "acts" that have feelgood names are more often than not complete bullshiat that do little to solve the issues they are named after.  Is beating a woman legal? No? Then why more laws? What is the benefit?


/50% snark, 50% curiosity.  Feel free to tell me to half fark myself.


Ok, you said it so much better than I could have.

moonscatter: Yogimus: TV's Vinnie: And remember folks. The republicans  are dead-set against the Violence Against Women Act in any way, shape, or form.

Link the act, specifically the portions you support.  I find "acts" that have feelgood names are more often than not complete bullshiat that do little to solve the issues they are named after.  Is beating a woman legal? No? Then why more laws? What is the benefit?


/50% snark, 50% curiosity.  Feel free to tell me to half fark myself.

From my own experience, here is what VAWA has done for Houston, Texas:

Funded programs for peace officers (police, sheriff) to understand how to approach domestic violence cases, how to gather evidence, and how to talk to the victims  -- which leads to victims getting the help they need to get out

Funding to train prosecutors on how to prosecute these cases, especially since most of them involve a victim who is unwililng to testify or who has recanted due to family pressure

Funding for a kick-ass prosecutor I had the privilege to work for and social workers I got to work with who met with victims, got them the help they needed and also paid for us to get them protective orders so they have a chance to start their lives over


Oh, I see were you are coming from. Of course I live on the WEST COAST were these thing have been the law of the land  for decades.

TV's Vinnie: Yogimus: 50% snark, 50% curiosity. Feel free to tell me to half fark myself.

Nah. I'm just gonna sit back here with this bag of popcorn and watch the other Farkers Cluebat you into a pulp.


Whattsa matter Vinny, the "little women" isn't around for you to beat?

LadyHawke: Slam1263: Meh, she stays with the peice of filth, there must be something she likes about being someone's punching bag.

Go ahead, tell me she can't leave him for n reasons, but she can. All she has to do is pick up a phone, and dial the nearest shelter.

Trust me, those people are great, they could have gotten Eve Braun out of the bunker.

Read the article; she left after the first attack.


Sure, blame me because I didn't want to go through a broken slide show.

The cover photo was all I needed to figure out that the guy was a peice of feces.
 
2013-02-28 11:16:10 PM
I can see how a mother of 2 children, being alone, with no income would latch onto anyone that would be able to possibly help. But look at this guy, in and out of prison his whole life, covered with prison tats from head to toe, obviously of low intellect and no future, and she is surprised that he resorts to physical violence during a argument, and that his persona is like that of a child, demanding her attention, and not understanding why she needs to spend more time with her toddlers. This was just horribly sad, but it was obvious that it would head that way. Feel sorry for the children, they are the true victims of circumstance and bad life choices.
 
2013-02-28 11:17:02 PM
I might get a little concerned if a chick got a tat of my name on her neck. He looks kind of short (I am not internet tough guying here) but maybe he thinks the tats make him look tougher than he is.

The need to compete with the little boy says a bit about his maturity, not that anyone needs anymore reminders after the abuse.
 
2013-02-28 11:17:02 PM

Freudian_slipknot: GoSurfing: the women I've liked that didn't give me the time of day were more talented/smarter/awesome/etc in every way, shape, form.

Sounds like the women made a really good choice then.  Did you ever consider trying to become more talented/educated/awesome so you could land women like that?  Or maybe settling for the kind of women who were actually as talented/smart/awesome as you are, rather than getting upset that people with more going on weren't lowering their standards for you?

If they really are more talented/smarter/awesome/etc in every way, shape, form then why would they possibly want to settle for someone less talented/dumber/less awesome than themselves - especially considering you wouldn't settle for the same?


Well, first, there was no "getting upset". I can handle my place in society. I know my place. I'm (attempting) to illustrate that your perception of the "nice guy" forging the woman into a trophy is not always the truth (or the opposite for that matter). And, yes, I would settle for less. I mean hell, this article is proof that people settle for less all the damn time. Not all relationships are based on people of equal social status. Some people like different things. They aren't all pegged to intelligence, appearance, wealth, and talent, believe it or not.

/was just trying to shed a different light on the angle you approached it from. I'm probably totally wrong.
 
2013-02-28 11:17:03 PM

KIA: Welcome to redneck America.  Oh, and... don't date felons or people who carry visible demonstrations of their inability to make good life choices.


Domestic violence statistics show that there there is no socio-economic link to this behavior.  There is a positive correlation for those who come from patriarchal cultures.
 
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