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(Time)   A fascinating (and heartbreaking) look through a photographer's lens as she chronicles one couple's descent in domestic violence   (lightbox.time.com) divider line 585
    More: Sad, domestic violence, Ohio University  
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30766 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Feb 2013 at 10:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-28 10:27:50 PM

JerkyMeat: Young women LOVE men like this and they get what they deserve.  They reject the "nice" guy.  So, now she knows. Fark her.

The dude is an obvious scumbag.  A few more years of anal rape in prison will give him food for thought.

I have zero empathy for either one of these people.


You are an idiot. This is admittedly a rather ... stereotypical version of domestic violence, but she was never at fault. He attempted to kill her by choking (and if you think i am full of it, take a look at hyper-conservative Texas' penal code - assault on a family member is a misdemeanor unless it is by choking - then it is a FELONY).

There is only one place blame belongs in this case, and that is on the guy in this relationship. (And it is not always the guy, I've gotten protective orders for guys against women)
 
2013-02-28 10:27:54 PM
Off to watch another episode of 'the legue' and cuddle my girlfriend. This weekend we work out then have dinner at bob Evans. I love our lameness.
 
2013-02-28 10:27:56 PM
Having a niece the same age as that toddler, the thought of the child having to intervene and comfort her mother during and after that kind of violence makes me physically ill.
 
2013-02-28 10:28:02 PM
and foremost: fark that dude.

2nd, if she goes back, fark her too, and take the kids. The 1st time its not your fault, every single time after that IS.
 
2013-02-28 10:28:03 PM
Seeing this makes me very grateful to have the father I do.

Sure, I got spanked a few times (by Mom once or twice), but only after other things didn't work, and never after about the age of 6.  He never hit my mother.  Sure, Dad was gone a lot sometimes, but the Army does that to families.  Still, he managed to only miss one Christmas, and that's when he was stuck in Bosnia, and I was in college, not a little kid.  He taught me to shoot and to enjoy the outdoors.  Yesterday, I got an email inviting me to join him on a fishing trip to the backwoods of Canada this summer.  I hope I can go.
 
2013-02-28 10:29:14 PM

KIA: Welcome to redneck America.  Oh, and... don't date felons or people who carry visible demonstrations of their inability to make good life choices.


I know this REALLY awesome rich doctor. He'll treat you "just like family." He's incredibly wealthy, having patented a surgical procedure for carpal tunnel cases. His name is Michael Brown and he's looking for a new love. You should check him out.
 
2013-02-28 10:29:28 PM
I guess I took this a little different than most. Felt bad for the kids, but what the fark do you expect from a tattooed freak of a felon?

She was actually good looking, and I am sure she could have gotten a better, or at least less violent male companion. However, I'm sure she told all those guys "You are a really nice guy, but you are not my type...".

The story left unsaid is what happened to the father? I wonder if he was denied custody of the kids because he is male? Well, I'm sure his money was paying for everything. Poor bastard, now his kids are screwed up for life.
 
2013-02-28 10:29:39 PM
been there, got out.
 
2013-02-28 10:30:10 PM

serial_crusher: The incredible thing is that you think people are normal, but can never really tell.  If this family can fall apart, is anyone safe?


Honestly.  I would have thought someone covered head to toe in tattoos would be a perfectly sane and stable individual.
 
2013-02-28 10:30:27 PM

Yogimus: and foremost: fark that dude.

2nd, if she goes back, fark her too, and take the kids. The 1st time its not your fault, every single time after that IS.


Biological father has a basis in most states to actually seek termination of her parental rights based on her exposing the kids to this. And I'd gladly argue it for him.
 
2013-02-28 10:30:44 PM

moonscatter: she was never at fault.


In that you can't blame a person for their own stupidity?
 
2013-02-28 10:31:16 PM

Thisbymaster: Women where ever you are remember that these men are in jail for a reason do not go out with them.


So the reason the US has such an astronomically high incarceration rate compared to other countries is because there's more evil people there? Never judge anyone so easily.

Plenty of other things about this guy send off warning alarms. The way he acted at the end confirmed my suspicions he was a sociopath. Women should really learn the signs of that more than anything else.
 
2013-02-28 10:31:23 PM

JerkyMeat: Young women LOVE men like this and they get what they deserve.  They reject the "nice" guy.  So, now she knows. Fark her.

The dude is an obvious scumbag.  A few more years of anal rape in prison will give him food for thought.

I have zero empathy for either one of these people.


Careful now...

You are absolutely correct considering the vast majority of stories such as this, but every so often...a guy that seems extremely nice and normal has an extremely dark and hidden side.

Not typical, but it happens.
 
2013-02-28 10:31:28 PM
I'd hit it.
 
2013-02-28 10:32:08 PM
And remember folks. The republicans  are dead-set against the Violence Against Women Act in any way, shape, or form.
 
2013-02-28 10:32:13 PM

StrangeQ: serial_crusher: The incredible thing is that you think people are normal, but can never really tell.  If this family can fall apart, is anyone safe?

Honestly.  I would have thought someone covered head to toe in tattoos would be a perfectly sane and stable individual.


And fresh out of prison....
 
2013-02-28 10:32:25 PM

JerkyMeat: Young women LOVE men like this and they get what they deserve. They reject the "nice" guy.


You sound nice.
 
2013-02-28 10:32:43 PM

BummerDuck: I guess I took this a little different than most. Felt bad for the kids, but what the fark do you expect from a tattooed freak of a felon?

She was actually good looking, and I am sure she could have gotten a better, or at least less violent male companion. However, I'm sure she told all those guys "You are a really nice guy, but you are not my type...".

The story left unsaid is what happened to the father? I wonder if he was denied custody of the kids because he is male? Well, I'm sure his money was paying for everything. Poor bastard, now his kids are screwed up for life.


This is a very typical case in some ways. Batterers (male and female) tend to be incredibly charismatic. They convince their future victim they have some special trait that will provide that "thing" that will turn their lives around and make them better people.

And the violence runs in cycles, sometimes with very long "honeymoon" cycles that really convince people to endure these relationships because they really want to "save" someone.
 
2013-02-28 10:33:04 PM

KIA: Welcome to redneck America.  Oh, and... don't date felons or people who carry visible demonstrations of their inability to make good life choices.


She was 19 with a four year old and a two year old; I don't think she is exactly a paragon of good decision making.
 
2013-02-28 10:33:16 PM

JerkyMeat: Young women LOVE men like this and they get what they deserve.  They reject the "nice" guy.  So, now she knows. Fark her.


Quantum Apostrophe: Don't forget, ladies, he'll change for you. That nice guy at the office is just so boring and nerdy.


BummerDuck: She was actually good looking, and I am sure she could have gotten a better, or at least less violent male companion. However, I'm sure she told all those guys "You are a really nice guy, but you are not my type...".


The fark is wrong with some of you? Out of all threads this is the one you pick to pull out your nice guy bullshiat?
 
2013-02-28 10:33:21 PM

Lee451: People (women especially) think they can "save" the other person. We have all seen it before.  This woman was 19 and had 2 kids, so I doubt if it was raining men for her.  At least she had him arrested and pressed charges. If she had allowed him to talk her out of the arrest, she would have been on Fark long ago as another homicide.

That article was a tough read.


/I think it's time to pray for her and a better future.


The immensely irritating thing for me is that my sister's the exact same way. She's currently got a relationship with this idiot who's a friend of a friend and is currently serving 10 years for child rape (*he* tells her he's taking the rap for his brother who slept with his just shy of AoC girlfriend). I've occasionally when she's here put on episodes of American Dad and whatnot to non-verbally show her what her life is going to be like if she stays with this idiot, but it never seems to sink in about all the going door to door and saying "Hi, I'm a registered sex offender and won't you be my neighbor?" crap.
 
2013-02-28 10:34:04 PM
Damn.  Just... damn.
 
2013-02-28 10:34:18 PM

Abox: moonscatter: she was never at fault.

In that you can't blame a person for their own stupidity?


He assaulted her. He failed kindergarten. No, a victim is NOT at fault for the assault committed on them. It falls squarely and completely on them.

If she had any fault, then wow, maybe he shouldn't be criminally charged, right? Maybe she should recant, or work on getting the charges dismissed, I mean, after all, being almost murdered was her fault for not loving him enough, right?
 
2013-02-28 10:34:49 PM
Maybe it's just my "survivor's paranoia", but what disturbed me more was the disproportionate amount of attention he lavished on the little girl.  Good on her for leaving that douchenozzle and starting over.  shiat like that never ends well when they stay together.
 
2013-02-28 10:35:32 PM

TV's Vinnie: And remember folks. The republicans  are dead-set against the Violence Against Women Act in any way, shape, or form.


Link the act, specifically the portions you support.  I find "acts" that have feelgood names are more often than not complete bullshiat that do little to solve the issues they are named after.  Is beating a woman legal? No? Then why more laws? What is the benefit?


/50% snark, 50% curiosity.  Feel free to tell me to half fark myself.
 
2013-02-28 10:36:43 PM

Jixa: Maybe it's just my "survivor's paranoia", but what disturbed me more was the disproportionate amount of attention he lavished on the little girl.  Good on her for leaving that douchenozzle and starting over.  shiat like that never ends well when they stay together.


No it isn't just your paranoia,I felt the same way. He treats the little boy as if he's a threat to him and the grown woman's relationship but is just fine with the little girl.
 
2013-02-28 10:37:16 PM
"Wake up Maggie I think I got somethin' to say to you..."
 
2013-02-28 10:37:22 PM

Jixa: Maybe it's just my "survivor's paranoia"

, but what disturbed me more was the disproportionate amount of attention he lavished on the little girl.

*checks profile*

Hentai-con really that bad?
 
2013-02-28 10:38:14 PM
When I saw the picture that serial_crusher posted the only thing I could think of was "I wonder what this guy saw growing up?".

He is an emotional infant himself, and was likely on the receiving end of everything we saw him doing from his first day. I suggest reading up on Borderline Personality Disorder. We can see the symptoms in their entire relationship, seriously, Google BPS and read up on it, then go back through that slideshow.

It's called "Borderline" because it's borderline schizophrenia and comes from horrific abuse as a child.

He should be pitied...and in prison for the rest of his life. He'll never be better, he'll never be able to get his shiat together. He is a feral animal and always will be. Forever.
 
2013-02-28 10:38:31 PM

Yogimus: TV's Vinnie: And remember folks. The republicans  are dead-set against the Violence Against Women Act in any way, shape, or form.

Link the act, specifically the portions you support.  I find "acts" that have feelgood names are more often than not complete bullshiat that do little to solve the issues they are named after.  Is beating a woman legal? No? Then why more laws? What is the benefit?


/50% snark, 50% curiosity.  Feel free to tell me to half fark myself.


From my own experience, here is what VAWA has done for Houston, Texas:

Funded programs for peace officers (police, sheriff) to understand how to approach domestic violence cases, how to gather evidence, and how to talk to the victims  -- which leads to victims getting the help they need to get out

Funding to train prosecutors on how to prosecute these cases, especially since most of them involve a victim who is unwililng to testify or who has recanted due to family pressure

Funding for a kick-ass prosecutor I had the privilege to work for and social workers I got to work with who met with victims, got them the help they needed and also paid for us to get them protective orders so they have a chance to start their lives over
 
2013-02-28 10:38:44 PM

Yogimus: 50% snark, 50% curiosity. Feel free to tell me to half fark myself.


Nah. I'm just gonna sit back here with this bag of popcorn and watch the other Farkers Cluebat you into a pulp.
 
2013-02-28 10:39:24 PM

A Terrible Human: nice guy bullshiat?


I have a huge collection of "nice guys" here whose posts all show up light pink for me so I never have to take anything they say seriously ever again.

It's delusional thinking on par with birthers.  These threads really bring out the loons.
 
2013-02-28 10:40:00 PM
19 y/o and she has a 4 y/o? Wow. Not that he's an angel, for sure.

Sad tag fits. Too well.
 
2013-02-28 10:40:01 PM

BummerDuck: I guess I took this a little different than most. Felt bad for the kids, but what the fark do you expect from a tattooed freak of a felon?

She was actually good looking, and I am sure she could have gotten a better, or at least less violent male companion. However, I'm sure she told all those guys "You are a really nice guy, but you are not my type...".

The story left unsaid is what happened to the father? I wonder if he was denied custody of the kids because he is male? Well, I'm sure his money was paying for everything. Poor bastard, now his kids are screwed up for life.


Father is stationed in Alaska in the Army.  My guess would be she got custody of the kids since there's no chance she could be deployed anywhere.  Now she's back in Alaska with him, because at least that's better than getting beat up by some tattooed freak.
 
2013-02-28 10:40:06 PM

TV's Vinnie: Yogimus: 50% snark, 50% curiosity. Feel free to tell me to half fark myself.

Nah. I'm just gonna sit back here with this bag of popcorn and watch the other Farkers Cluebat you into a pulp.


Nah, it was a kind of good question. VAWA needs a name change. I mean, I've prosecuted m/m, m/f, f/m cases. But the ones that broke my heart were the ones where parents had to get protective orders against their kids. I'd go home and cry my eyes out on those.
 
2013-02-28 10:40:21 PM
Two kids by 19 (had kid at 15?), shacking up with a 31 year old (violated half age+7 rule)...   this sounds like it was headed to problemsville even before the guy turned out to be abusive.  Lancaster county Ohio explains quite a bit though.
 
2013-02-28 10:40:49 PM
So, the photographer just stood there the whole time snapping photos  while both parties act oblivious to her presence then the dude beats the shiat out of his wife while someone snaps pics?

Bullshiat.
 
2013-02-28 10:41:15 PM

moonscatter: TV's Vinnie: Yogimus: 50% snark, 50% curiosity. Feel free to tell me to half fark myself.

Nah. I'm just gonna sit back here with this bag of popcorn and watch the other Farkers Cluebat you into a pulp.

Nah, it was a kind of good question. VAWA needs a name change. I mean, I've prosecuted m/m, m/f, f/m cases. But the ones that broke my heart were the ones where parents had to get protective orders against their kids. I'd go home and cry my eyes out on those.


Crap, and f/f cases. In fact, my one three-day trial was the creepiest f/f cases ever, And the batterer looked like one of those japanese girls who try and look like barbie. Was utterly surreal.
 
2013-02-28 10:41:16 PM
Meh, she stays with the peice of filth, there must be something she likes about being someone's punching bag.

Go ahead, tell me she can't leave him for n reasons, but she can. All she has to do is pick up a phone, and dial the nearest shelter.

Trust me, those people are great, they could have gotten Eve Braun out of the bunker.
 
2013-02-28 10:41:22 PM

A Terrible Human: JerkyMeat: Young women LOVE men like this and they get what they deserve.  They reject the "nice" guy.  So, now she knows. Fark her.

Quantum Apostrophe: Don't forget, ladies, he'll change for you. That nice guy at the office is just so boring and nerdy.

BummerDuck: She was actually good looking, and I am sure she could have gotten a better, or at least less violent male companion. However, I'm sure she told all those guys "You are a really nice guy, but you are not my type...".

The fark is wrong with some of you? Out of all threads this is the one you pick to pull out your nice guy bullshiat?


Shane was unemployed, therefor not the provider. Looks like they had nice stuff, so she must have been paying for it.

I obviously _could_ be wrong, but that gives me the conclusion that SHE had the power to get rid of him at any time. She chose not to, and so I only feel sorry for the kids for having an idiot for a mother, and potentially for the dad.

If only we had some island we could put people like Shane...to be with his own kind...we could call it Australia?
 
2013-02-28 10:41:55 PM

A Terrible Human: JerkyMeat: Young women LOVE men like this and they get what they deserve.  They reject the "nice" guy.  So, now she knows. Fark her.

Quantum Apostrophe: Don't forget, ladies, he'll change for you. That nice guy at the office is just so boring and nerdy.

BummerDuck: She was actually good looking, and I am sure she could have gotten a better, or at least less violent male companion. However, I'm sure she told all those guys "You are a really nice guy, but you are not my type...".

The fark is wrong with some of you? Out of all threads this is the one you pick to pull out your nice guy bullshiat?


Yes, it's bullshiat. The nice guys are actually the ones choking and beating their girlfriends to death. Oh wait, women are repulsed by us "creepy" guys. We're the ones with the problem. Got it.
Let's all have empathy for the violent neck-tattooed muscle-bound idiot. The nice guy who's socially awkward, let's make sure he suffers alone even more.

/Your screen name wasn't just randomly selected, was it.
 
2013-02-28 10:42:09 PM

Freudian_slipknot: It's delusional thinking on par with birthers. These threads really bring out the loons.


It's kinda sad really. I find these kinds of threads to be rather therapeutic.
/Those kids are gonna be a little messed up.
 
2013-02-28 10:42:10 PM
Listen, someone has to say it.  These are trash people making horrible decisions. She put herself in this situation, 2 kids, 20 years old dating a convicted felon with no prospects.  Was he a piece of human garbage?  Absolutely.  The problem is she knew that already, long before the inevitable happened.
 
2013-02-28 10:42:30 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

Rod Stewart would never choke a biatch.
 
2013-02-28 10:42:42 PM

Abox: moonscatter: she was never at fault.

In that you can't blame a person for their own stupidity?


In that it isn't her fault he can't stop kicking her ass or breaking the law. It is his fault for crossing that line and his fault alone. Sure, she made the mistake of hanging out with a douchebag, but the penalty for that should not be an ass kicking in front of your kids.
 
2013-02-28 10:43:45 PM

TV's Vinnie: And remember folks. The republicans  are dead-set against the Violence Against Women Act in any way, shape, or form.


Every one of my state's delegation voted against it. Including our lone representative, Cynthia Lummis.
 
2013-02-28 10:44:38 PM

Slam1263: Meh, she stays with the peice of filth, there must be something she likes about being someone's punching bag.

Go ahead, tell me she can't leave him for n reasons, but she can. All she has to do is pick up a phone, and dial the nearest shelter.

Trust me, those people are great, they could have gotten Eve Braun out of the bunker.


Read the article; she left after the first attack.


BummerDuck: Shane was unemployed, therefor not the provider. Looks like they had nice stuff, so she must have been paying for it.

I obviously _could_ be wrong, but that gives me the conclusion that SHE had the power to get rid of him at any time. She chose not to, and so I only feel sorry for the kids for having an idiot for a mother, and potentially for the dad.


According to the article, they were living with a friend, so I don't think they owned any of the nice stuff in the pictures.
 
2013-02-28 10:44:46 PM

A Terrible Human: JerkyMeat: Young women LOVE men like this and they get what they deserve.  They reject the "nice" guy.  So, now she knows. Fark her.

Quantum Apostrophe: Don't forget, ladies, he'll change for you. That nice guy at the office is just so boring and nerdy.

BummerDuck: She was actually good looking, and I am sure she could have gotten a better, or at least less violent male companion. However, I'm sure she told all those guys "You are a really nice guy, but you are not my type...".

The fark is wrong with some of you? Out of all threads this is the one you pick to pull out your nice guy bullshiat?


Thanks, I was about to comment on this, too.
 
2013-02-28 10:45:53 PM

BummerDuck: I obviously _could_ be wrong, but that gives me the conclusion that SHE had the power to get rid of him at any time. She chose not to, and so I only feel sorry for the kids for having an idiot for a mother, and potentially for the dad.


Quantum Apostrophe: Yes, it's bullshiat. The nice guys are actually the ones choking and beating their girlfriends to death. Oh wait, women are repulsed by us "creepy" guys. We're the ones with the problem. Got it.
Let's all have empathy for the violent neck-tattooed muscle-bound idiot. The nice guy who's socially awkward, let's make sure he suffers alone even more.

/Your screen name wasn't just randomly selected, was it.


My father didn't drink,do drugs or have any tattoos yet he managed to beat my mom,sister and me for the first 14 years of my farking life. He threatened to beat my mom and me to death over child support. Take your nice guy bullshiat and cram it up your ass and farking die. You don't realize how bad shiat can get if you haven't lived through it.
 
2013-02-28 10:45:58 PM
And a moment to thank the corrections officers who will have to deal with this dirtbag...
 
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