Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Globe and Mail)   Pope Benedict has his "fark you, fark you, fark you, fark you, you're cool, fark you, I'm out" moment with the College of Cardinals   (theglobeandmail.com) divider line 74
    More: Followup, Pope Benedict, Pope Benedict XVI, College of Cardinals, Saint Peter, Castel Gandolfo, last words, pope  
•       •       •

11460 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Feb 2013 at 10:44 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-02-28 10:45:54 AM  
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah
 
2013-02-28 10:46:36 AM  
Did p-Benny drop the mic before saying peace out?
 
2013-02-28 10:47:25 AM  
Jesus H. Christ, aren't these guys a little old to be in college?
 
2013-02-28 10:47:31 AM  
i thought it was 'fark you, fark you, fark you,  you'recool, fark you, i'm out.'
 
2013-02-28 10:48:10 AM  
static.globalgrind.com
 
2013-02-28 10:48:31 AM  
From my redlighted submission.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2013/02/from-vatican-city-to-c as tel-gandolfo-the-popes-digs/

Some uppity bum ought to go in there and flip over some tables in disgust.
 
2013-02-28 10:49:24 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-28 10:51:04 AM  
The last pope that retired before dying was hunted down, imprisoned, and died a few months later.
 
2013-02-28 10:52:15 AM  

jaggspb: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah


Done in one...damn you guys are quick!
 
2013-02-28 10:53:42 AM  
Judas Priest.
He'll still be able to fark boys, right?
 
2013-02-28 10:55:52 AM  

ruinevil: The last pope that retired before dying was hunted down, imprisoned, and died a few months later.


That pope was named Martha:
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-02-28 10:56:14 AM  
I was hoping he would jab a few cardinals in the cock with that shepherds hook on the way out the door.
`Eight ball in the side pocket, mother-f**ker!'
 
2013-02-28 10:56:38 AM  
May this create a schism in the church that tears the entire thing apart.
 
2013-02-28 10:57:07 AM  
Not as edgy or controvercial as I would have liked. If there is a reformation contigent in the cloister that wants to shake things up, this could be fun.
 
2013-02-28 11:02:23 AM  
I like that he gets to decide that he'll serve the church in "prayer" as Pope Emeritus.

Basically, I'm retiring, I'm keeping the perks, I'm the pope and you're not so fark you I can do what I want.
 
2013-02-28 11:03:25 AM  
Just to irritate conservatives, I'd like to see the College of Cardinals elect Obama as the next Pope.
 
2013-02-28 11:04:21 AM  

ChrisDe: Just to irritate conservatives, I'd like to see the College of Cardinals elect Obama as the next Pope.


It'll be a cold day in hell before a Muslim is made Pope.
 
2013-02-28 11:07:10 AM  

Girion47: I like that he gets to decide that he'll serve the church in "prayer" as Pope Emeritus.

Basically, I'm retiring, I'm keeping the perks, I'm the pope and you're not so fark you I can do what I want.


Um, have you seen how much gold in sewn into a corporate executive's parachute these days?
`Yeah I damn-near bankrupted this company - but I DESERVE this $250 gazillion kiss-off!
 
2013-02-28 11:07:49 AM  

DerPups: i thought it was 'fark you, fark you, fark you,  you'recool, fark you, i'm out.'


This
 
2013-02-28 11:07:51 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-28 11:08:09 AM  
So he's adverting on Craigslist m4m casual encounters as a passive CD seeking a dom top, who can host?
 
2013-02-28 11:10:49 AM  

ChrisDe: Just to irritate conservatives, I'd like to see the College of Cardinals elect Obama as the next Pope.


Considering the most vocal social conservatives in this country tend to be evangelicals, and they tend to think of the Pope as some kind of anti-Christ, many of them wouldn't be irritated.  In fact, many would say, "Told ya so."
 
2013-02-28 11:12:08 AM  

Girion47: I like that he gets to decide that he'll serve the church in "prayer" as Pope Emeritus.


It's Latin. "E" means "you're out", and "meritus" means "you deserve it".
 
2013-02-28 11:14:23 AM  
For a guy who figured on being a "temp" for several years until he passed on and someone emerged who would be able to to take the helm of the Church for the next couple of decades or so, he did ok.  Yes, I'm aware of all the allegations made about him before he became Pope.

martid4: Jesus H. Christ, aren't these guys a little old to be in college?


Their college is older than yours.  Have you not heard of continuing adult education?  ;-)
 
2013-02-28 11:16:30 AM  
Now, back when Pope Benedictine XVI was still Cardinal Ratzinger, he convinced John Paul II to put him in charge of investigating sex crimes within the church. Before that, there was no investigative office for sex crimes. None. Benedictine created the office and took responsibility upon himself.  All the time John Paul II was standing up to Communism, standing up for Poland, nearly getting shot to death, and generally acting like a superhero, all of this stuff was brewing in the background, and not being taken care of by John Paul II. At the time Benedictine XVI went after some very high-profile targets. There was incredible political pressure from the Vatican to back off going all the way up to John Paul II himself.  I know some people want to hang responsibility for some of the cases that were mishandled on his shoulders, but if it weren't for Benedictine, I'm sure that most of the crimes he investigated wouldn't have been investigated.  So I have respect for the man.

And I'm not a Catholic.  And I don't really like the Catholic church that much.  I do think John Paul II represents a high-water mark for the Catholic church.  After him, I think it's a downward spiral for that faith until the Catholic Pope has as much worldwide influence as the Coptic Pope.
 
2013-02-28 11:18:22 AM  

I Ate Shergar: Girion47: I like that he gets to decide that he'll serve the church in "prayer" as Pope Emeritus.

It's Latin. "E" means "you're out", and "meritus" means "you deserve it".


And he deserves it for what?  Working for an organization that is founded upon taking advantage gullible people?
 
2013-02-28 11:18:33 AM  
there is even a train station.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-28 11:20:36 AM  
Eearlier?  Is that like colour?
 
2013-02-28 11:20:57 AM  
I'm really looking forward to the coming hillarity from the church.
 
2013-02-28 11:21:30 AM  
Pope promises 'unconditional' obedience in final meeting with cardinals

Ohhh you're so strict, I've been a baaaaad boy whip me, beat me make me write bad checks.

Sort of like Jack Welch leaving GE.
 
2013-02-28 11:22:53 AM  

hdhale: For a guy who figured on being a "temp" for several years until he passed on and someone emerged who would be able to to take the helm of the Church for the next couple of decades or so, he did ok.  Yes, I'm aware of all the allegations made about him before he became Pope.

martid4: Jesus H. Christ, aren't these guys a little old to be in college?

Their college is older than yours.  Have you not heard of continuing adult education?  ;-)

is
makes one wounder was this all planned form the begining. maybe he was told ok your going be pope for a few years
but once we find a able body person who will be a better fit then you retired and get all this for doing it.
 
2013-02-28 11:23:25 AM  
Wonder if the new Pope will strip him of those titles and lock him up to starve to death like the last one that resigned.
 
2013-02-28 11:25:03 AM  
How in the fark is a long shot of a helicopter flying over Rome news?  fark you ABC, CBS, and NBC you SHOULD be reporting on child sex abuse and why the Vatican is allowed sovereignty when it's just a cult of pedophiles.
 
2013-02-28 11:26:15 AM  
twimg0-a.akamaihd.net

Fark you, fark you, and fark you! Who's next?
 
2013-02-28 11:27:48 AM  

Girion47: I Ate Shergar: Girion47: I like that he gets to decide that he'll serve the church in "prayer" as Pope Emeritus.

It's Latin. "E" means "you're out", and "meritus" means "you deserve it".

And he deserves it for what?  Working for an organization that is founded upon taking advantage gullible people?


Deserves to be out, I meant. Okay, it would have worked better if it hadn't been a voluntary resignation - although I don't know if there's a procedure in place to fire popes.
 
2013-02-28 11:31:28 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: ChrisDe: Just to irritate conservatives, I'd like to see the College of Cardinals elect Obama as the next Pope.

It'll be a cold day in hell before a Muslim Baptist is made Pope.

FIFY
 
2013-02-28 11:32:56 AM  
I will probably be verbally berated and hate myself just a little bit more but:  What move it the headline from?  I know I should know it but old age has robbed me of my mental sharpness....
 
2013-02-28 11:42:40 AM  
Since he was still Pope when he got on the chopper, did Benedict take the Vatican's nuclear launch codes with him, or did he leave them behind for his successor?
 
2013-02-28 11:44:54 AM  

Fizpez: I will probably be verbally berated and hate myself just a little bit more but:  What move it the headline from?  I know I should know it but old age has robbed me of my mental sharpness....


"Half Baked" - Stoner comedy from the 1990's.
 
2013-02-28 11:46:40 AM  

Fizpez: I will probably be verbally berated and hate myself just a little bit more but:  What move it the headline from?  I know I should know it but old age has robbed me of my mental sharpness....


Half Baked.

/stillllll waiting on that condemnation of pedophila, Benedict
 
2013-02-28 11:59:18 AM  

jumac: hdhale: For a guy who figured on being a "temp" for several years until he passed on and someone emerged who would be able to to take the helm of the Church for the next couple of decades or so, he did ok.  Yes, I'm aware of all the allegations made about him before he became Pope.

martid4: Jesus H. Christ, aren't these guys a little old to be in college?

Their college is older than yours.  Have you not heard of continuing adult education?  ;-)
is
makes one wounder was this all planned form the begining. maybe he was told ok your going be pope for a few years
but once we find a able body person who will be a better fit then you retired and get all this for doing it.


He was 78 when he became Pope.  Questions?

Entirely possible *he* didn't think he'd still be alive in 2013 when he took the job.  A reasonable assumption, even for someone who has excellent quality of medical care.
 
2013-02-28 12:07:19 PM  
imageshack.us
 
2013-02-28 12:08:44 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: [twimg0-a.akamaihd.net image 500x322]

Fark you, fark you, and fark you! Who's next?


I always preferred this one.

CSB: I once dated a girl who had a brother around toddler age. He found out that he could get a whole room laughing out loud by saying that line. Coming from a little kid, puffed up with self-satisfaction at finding  the perfect joke, it was hilarious. He would toddle into the room, start pointing at the adults, and say, "f♥ck you, f♥ck you, and f♥ck you! Who's next?" and then, for added effect, he'd repeat it.

Of course, he got the "That's naughty! you shouldn't say that word!" response, but it was sort of weak coming from a room full of adults who were gasping for breath due to the surprise of a small child bursting in and cursing them all out in the funniest way imaginable.

But then in the coming weeks, like Kristen Wiig or the cast of MAD TV, he repeated the once-loved joke over and over until it was no longer funny, and then became sort of annoying.
 
2013-02-28 12:15:25 PM  
Next in line?
crocodyluspontifex.com
 
2013-02-28 12:19:43 PM  

Baron Harkonnen: Benedictine


I did not know that about the guy.  F*cking cool!
 
2013-02-28 12:25:53 PM  
I thought it was- "I'm the Pope, I'm the Pope, suck a 10 year-old's dick, I'm the Pope!"
 
2013-02-28 12:26:21 PM  
Okay, so now that Benny's leaving, anybody know who's on the College of Cardinal's draft pick list for the upcoming season?
 
2013-02-28 12:27:50 PM  
Nice headline. Not even close to HOTY candidate but I chuckled as I imagined this moments before him hopping into the Pope-chopper and flying away.
 
2013-02-28 12:32:27 PM  
 
2013-02-28 12:33:29 PM  

ruinevil: The last pope that retired before dying was hunted down, imprisoned, and died a few months later.


Interesting... now was this for sport?
 
2013-02-28 12:39:18 PM  
Tim Minchin - The Pope Song

Fark the motherfarker, fark the motherfarker
Fark the motherfarker, he's a farking motherfarker
Fark the motherfarker, fark the motherfarker
Fark the motherfarker he's a total motherfarker
Fark the motherfarker, fark the motherfarker
Fark the motherfarker, fark him, fark the motherfarker
Fark the motherfarker, fark the motherfarking Pope

Fark the motherfarker, and fark you motherfarker
If you think that motherfarker is sacred
If you cover for another motherfarker who's a kiddy-farker
Fark you, you're no better than the motherfarking rapist
And if you don't like the swearing that this motherfarker forced from me
And reckon it shows moral or intellectual paucity
Then fark you, motherfarker, this is language one employs
When one is farking pissed about motherfarkers farking boys...

/Naaaww... let me tell you how I really feel.
 
2013-02-28 12:45:16 PM  
"fark you, fark you, fark you, fark you, we're cool, fark you, I'm out"

So the Papacy is equivalent to a TotalFark account?
 
2013-02-28 12:52:57 PM  

Baron Harkonnen: Now, back when Pope Benedictine XVI was still Cardinal Ratzinger, he convinced John Paul II to put him in charge of investigating sex crimes within the church. Before that, there was no investigative office for sex crimes. None. Benedictine created the office and took responsibility upon himself.  All the time John Paul II was standing up to Communism, standing up for Poland, nearly getting shot to death, and generally acting like a superhero, all of this stuff was brewing in the background, and not being taken care of by John Paul II. At the time Benedictine XVI went after some very high-profile targets. There was incredible political pressure from the Vatican to back off going all the way up to John Paul II himself.  I know some people want to hang responsibility for some of the cases that were mishandled on his shoulders, but if it weren't for Benedictine, I'm sure that most of the crimes he investigated wouldn't have been investigated.  So I have respect for the man.

And I'm not a Catholic.  And I don't really like the Catholic church that much.  I do think John Paul II represents a high-water mark for the Catholic church.  After him, I think it's a downward spiral for that faith until the Catholic Pope has as much worldwide influence as the Coptic Pope.


Eh. Not totally sure I agree.  Ratzinger was always the Vatican's enforcer head of the Office that used to be called the Holy Inquisition that handles things like priestly discipline, rooting out heresy etc.  he was always known as the Admin guy whereas JPII was the idea guy, and was famously hard-nosed about it (there was a joke going around the Vatican twenty years ago about Ratzinger going into the confessional with Jesus himself and Jesus coming out and starting to say Hail Marys).  The problem was, while Ratso was a real heavy when it came to doctinal disputes, particualrly with American Catholic universities and the like,  on the subject of pedophilia, he blinked big time.  His actions to spirit Cardinal Law away from Boston and into a role that gave him diplomatic immunity just as MA prosecutors were preparing to indict him speaks volumes of his approach to the scandal,  it wasn;t about cleaning house and bringing in the sunshine, it was all about closing ranks, and trying to avoid legal liability.

It was the wrong thing to do, and now it's hurting the church badly.  As for the Church's diminished role, unless you are old enough to remeber the church before JPII, you can;t really understand how he changed the role and stature of the pope on the world stage (only John XXIII in the last few centuries has had anywhere near the impact JPII did -and his influence was largely internal to the church)    before him the average non-catholic  wouldn;t have even known who the pope WAS.  Afterwards he was a major world leader in many ways.   I think a lot of that had to do with the PERSON of JPII himself (exceptional writer, fluent in 26-odd languages, fairly well-regarded philospher in academic circles) and I doubt we'll see another personality like his in our lifetimes, and crtainly not one who can get through the hardline  College of Cardinals Ratzinger created in JPII's declining years to "stuff the ballot box" for his election
 
2013-02-28 12:53:08 PM  
Good riddance Emperor Palpatine.
 
2013-02-28 12:55:10 PM  

DerPups: i thought it was 'fark you, fark you, fark you,  you'recool, fark you, i'm out.'


You're correct.  Subby's smoked himself retarded.
 
2013-02-28 12:55:37 PM  

ChrisDe: Just to irritate conservatives, I'd like to see the College of Cardinals elect Obama as the next Pope.


Why not? The pope hat would look good sitting next to his Nobel peace prize.
 
2013-02-28 01:01:45 PM  
www.x360magazine.com

"Press 'X' to retire the Pope"

/reqiuescat in pace, motherfarker.
 
2013-02-28 01:03:57 PM  

ITGreen: DerPups: i thought it was 'fark you, fark you, fark you,  you'recool, fark you, i'm out.'

You're correct.  Subby's smoked himself retarded.


You pretty much have to, to watch that dumb-ass movie.

/not the subby.
 
2013-02-28 01:21:57 PM  

Crewmannumber6: Not as edgy or controvercial as I would have liked. If there is a reformation contigent in the cloister that wants to shake things up, this could be fun.


I really doubt it.

Benedict had a hand in picking almost every cardinal who will participate at the conclave, either directly
or when he was JPII's right hand.  The next pope will likely be as conservative as Benedict, even with the
double whammy of the sex abuse allegations and the supposed Vatican corruption scandal.  I truly hope
I am being wrong and cynical, but I doubt it.

I wonder, though, if as Pope Emeritus Benedict will continue cozying up to the ultra-conservative types
he's been trying to court througout his pontificate.
 
2013-02-28 01:22:24 PM  
for the first time in history, there will be a reigning pope and a former pope living side by side in the Vatican

So, which one gets to speak as the Infallible Word of God?
 
2013-02-28 01:28:15 PM  
FTA: "Benedict will stay until April when renovations are completed on a convent in the Vatican that will be his new home."

A convent? Will there be spankings and Oral Sex?
 
2013-02-28 01:47:10 PM  

Therion: for the first time in history, there will be a reigning pope and a former pope living side by side in the Vatican

So, which one gets to speak as the Infallible Word of God?


I read that as the Inflatable Word of God, which was an interesting mental image.
 
2013-02-28 01:49:21 PM  
Was the force lightning still coming out of his hands as his car drove away from the Vatican?
 
2013-02-28 03:05:02 PM  

zetar: ruinevil: The last pope that retired before dying was hunted down, imprisoned, and died a few months later.

Interesting... now was this for sport?


He wasn't a cardinal, but was voted to be pope because his monastic order was wildly popular. He decided he hated being pope, and created the rule that allowed him to retire. He quit a few months later. His successor was threatened by his predecessor popularity and had ordered his imprisonment. He was able to avoid it for a while, but eventually got caught, and died soon afterwards.

Pope Celestine I.
 
2013-02-28 03:14:13 PM  

nursedude: FTA: "Benedict will stay until April when renovations are completed on a convent in the Vatican that will be his new home."

A convent? Will there be spankings and Oral Sex?


They will make him an anchor of the church. As in, there will be a small room built into the cellar of the building where he will be entombed save for a hole in the wall large enough to pass items in and out of.
He will live in quite contemplation and solitary prayer never seeing another soul until he passes away on his own, or the church deems that his spirit would best serve god, at gods side, and seal up the food hole.
 
2013-02-28 04:12:49 PM  
<i>Some Church scholars worry that if the next pope undoes some of Benedict's policies while his predecessor is still alive, Benedict could act as a lightning rod for conservatives and polarize the 1.2 billion-member Church.</i>

Not possible, those come right from God, rite? He wouldn't contradict Himself, rite?
 
2013-02-28 04:52:36 PM  

ruinevil: zetar: ruinevil: The last pope that retired before dying was hunted down, imprisoned, and died a few months later.

Interesting... now was this for sport?

He wasn't a cardinal, but was voted to be pope because his monastic order was wildly popular. He decided he hated being pope, and created the rule that allowed him to retire. He quit a few months later. His successor was threatened by his predecessor popularity and had ordered his imprisonment. He was able to avoid it for a while, but eventually got caught, and died soon afterwards.

Pope Celestine I V.


FTFY
/Interesting read on Celestine V
 
2013-02-28 05:14:16 PM  
The vatican does nothing without serious political motivation.
I'm waiting for the acme anvil to drop
you just can't see it  yet
you know it's coming
 
2013-02-28 07:07:18 PM  
Men in funny hats is no way to run a religion. Sex cults now we are talking...wait...uhhhhhhhh

Good bye Pope. Hey a runny named guy with a funny hat...but not as dorky as soap on  a rope.
 
2013-02-28 07:09:01 PM  

Jeep2011: Men in funny hats is no way to run a religion. Sex cults now we are talking...wait...uhhhhhhhh

Good bye Pope. Hey a runny named guy with a funny hat...but not as dorky as soap on  a rope.


Funny I meant funny not runny

\must ease up on the beer
/write a sex cult manifesto
/Only women and me
 
2013-02-28 07:21:16 PM  
God shut down Globe And Mail?

We are currently working on globeandmail.com to resolve some technical issues

You will be redirected to our Tumblr page in 3 seconds.
 
2013-02-28 09:35:36 PM  
David miscavige for pope

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the Thetans!
 
2013-02-28 11:36:20 PM  

hdhale: For a guy who figured on being a "temp" for several years until he passed on and someone emerged who would be able to to take the helm of the Church for the next couple of decades or so, he did ok.  Yes, I'm aware of all the allegations made about him before he became Pope.

martid4: Jesus H. Christ, aren't these guys a little old to be in college?

Their college is older than yours.  Have you not heard of continuing adult education?  ;-)


Placeholder Pope.  I'm an American Catholic, and even we knew that's what he was.  He's just jumping the gun to get to the next guy.
 
2013-03-01 10:50:04 AM  
Now we're going to see him on David Letterman and shiat.
 
Displayed 74 of 74 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report