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(Slate)   Finally, an investigative journalist takes a look at one of the biggest questions facing the country today: "Why are American beers so weak?"   (slate.com) divider line 153
    More: Interesting, German-American, moderation, market manipulation, journalists  
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5386 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Feb 2013 at 10:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-28 09:30:37 AM
Because a lot of people are stupid.

Not ALL Americans drink bad beer, and there are some great breweries out there, but let's face it: folks love easy crap...
 
2013-02-28 09:34:44 AM

hubiestubert: Because a lot of people are stupid.

Not ALL Americans drink bad beer, and there are some great breweries out there, but let's face it: folks love easy crap...


One would have a terrible impression of the beer selection in America if you go by Budweiser, Coors, Miller, etc. I can see where that notion comes from. But yes, there are breweries here that rival the best Belgium, Germany or anywhere else has to offer.
 
2013-02-28 09:40:19 AM
Woot!  Beer snob thread.  Someone pass me a Schlitz.
 
2013-02-28 09:41:04 AM

BillCo: Woot!  Beer snob thread.  Someone pass me a Schlitz.


I'm sorry, sir. We're out of Schlitz.
 
2013-02-28 09:47:32 AM
Because Americans are not willing to spend on the finer things in life. Be it a dishwasher, car, or beer.
 
2013-02-28 09:49:58 AM
Because Amurkah and Jeebus and Pie!

Amurkah hell yeah!
 
2013-02-28 09:50:30 AM
not weak, just "un-challenging".  that's just the macros though.  the US pretty much dominates the micro industry now.  europe seems to not even care about beer any more (belgium not-withstanding).
 
2013-02-28 09:53:40 AM

nekom: BillCo: Woot!  Beer snob thread.  Someone pass me a Schlitz.

I'm sorry, sir. We're out of Schlitz.


I'll have a Michelob then!
 
2013-02-28 09:58:13 AM
I've had some good New England beer while here. I do miss Great Lakes Brewery, however, since I moved from Ohio. I have found some good German beers that are sold here.

When is the first IPA snob going to post?
 
2013-02-28 10:19:16 AM
Apparently, this "investigative journalist" was recently unfrozen from a block of ice he fell into in 1993.

He should report about that.
 
2013-02-28 10:19:18 AM
legalbeer.com


Ahem.
 
2013-02-28 10:26:09 AM
You guys have some of the best brewerys in the world. There, I said it. Now I need a nice long shower to get that off me.
 
2013-02-28 10:38:10 AM
Just stop putting hops in everything. Hops sucks and you suck if you like hoppy beer. You are faking it anyway. You don't really like it. You are just trying to be cool. Hops sucks. Every brewery now just makes hop bombs and there are no other types of beer even being produced. Can't even find a decent flavorless beer anymore. F*cking hopheads.
 
2013-02-28 10:38:50 AM
We have everything from pisswater to firewater.  To heck with your banana republics, I say.
 
2013-02-28 10:39:43 AM

busy chillin': Just stop putting hops in everything. Hops sucks and you suck if you like hoppy beer. You are faking it anyway. You don't really like it. You are just trying to be cool. Hops sucks. Every brewery now just makes hop bombs and there are no other types of beer even being produced. Can't even find a decent flavorless beer anymore. F*cking hopheads.


This is going to be awesome.
 
Zel
2013-02-28 10:40:50 AM

Blues_X: [legalbeer.com image 807x605]

Ahem.


Yes. Old Rasputin is a tasty heavy black beer. Wouldn't really want more than two in a night through. It's too heavy. I'll have the Schlitz/PBR to wash it down please.
 
2013-02-28 10:43:01 AM

Zel: Blues_X: [legalbeer.com image 807x605]

Ahem.

Yes. Old Rasputin is a tasty heavy black beer. Wouldn't really want more than two in a night through. It's too heavy. I'll have the Schlitz/PBR to wash it down please.


Oh, come on.  Don't you want to watch a baseball game in the July heat with a nice, thick, dark, creamy stout in your hand?  I mean, what could be more refreshing?

/Crushes a dry-hopped ale after lawn work.
//None of this post is true.
 
2013-02-28 10:43:58 AM
There are plenty of good ales between 3% and 5%.

The problem with mainstream American beer is that it tastes like piss tinged water.
 
2013-02-28 10:44:37 AM
The US does mass produce strong, cheap (and usually nasty) beer.  The difference is that it usually comes in a 40oz bottles and is called malt liquor instead.
 
2013-02-28 10:45:07 AM
victorybeer.com
 
2013-02-28 10:45:43 AM
Anyone that drinks (insert name of beer[s]) is an uncultured leaking-dickhead. The only beer that anyone should even consider drinking is (insert beer(s) of choice).

Can we go ahead and close up the thread?
 
2013-02-28 10:46:19 AM

busy chillin': Just stop putting hops in everything. Hops sucks and you suck if you like hoppy beer. You are faking it anyway. You don't really like it. You are just trying to be cool. Hops sucks. Every brewery now just makes hop bombs and there are no other types of beer even being produced. Can't even find a decent flavorless beer anymore. F*cking hopheads.


That's what I don't get. Everyone is trying to out-hop one another in their IPAs. There are other things that add to the flavor profile of a beer.

I'd like to see a brewery make a real IPA though. Would be quite the experiment.
 
2013-02-28 10:46:45 AM
And this is why I homebrew.  I have to expand my fermentation chamber and finish my keezer, but it's worth every penny to have fresh beer.

/Just finished off an Irish Red
//Honey Wheat in the secondary now
///Brewing an English bitter on Sunday
 
2013-02-28 10:47:01 AM

Aar1012: I've had some good New England beer while here. I do miss Great Lakes Brewery, however, since I moved from Ohio. I have found some good German beers that are sold here.

When is the first IPA snob going to post?


Since you said Great Lakes and IPA snobs, then I have to mention Alchemy Hour :-D
Better than Hopslam!
Seriously tho I freaking adore Great Lakes.  I have half a case of Blackout Stout sitting in my basement.  Right next to the 3 bottles (drank and shared 1) of the Barrel Aged Blackout that I had to trade for online!  It only cost me a bottle of Sexual Chocolate, and you cant get that outside of Ohio.
Good stuff in New England too.  Get you some Heady Topper :-D
 
2013-02-28 10:47:13 AM
cdn.static.ovimg.com
 
2013-02-28 10:48:28 AM

nekom: BillCo: Woot!  Beer snob thread.  Someone pass me a Schlitz.

I'm sorry, sir. We're out of Schlitz.


Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?

"All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"

OK, I'll take that
 
2013-02-28 10:49:55 AM
I'm going with - in order:

1) Stupid state/local liquor laws - many put outright bans or variable taxes on beer by alcohol %, so national distributors try to sneak in at the lowest tax rate.
2)Prohibition
3) Corporate sprawl pushing out smaller producers
4) 50's-60's era quasi-fascism in U.S.  Nobody wanted to stand out, look different, not drink Bud/Miller
5) The dead-ification of U.S. taste buds accross all gastronomic spheres (see above)
6) Cost, and the desperate attempt by the U.S. to hide the fact that the middle class income has been tanking steadily.  A 30-pack of Stroh's cost the same as a 6-pack of good beer.
 
2013-02-28 10:50:26 AM
call me unsophisticated, but on a hot day, a light, cold american/canadian lager really hits the spot for me. i do enjoy sophisticated beers (especially stouts and porters in the depths of winter) but sometimes its hot, and i just want to grill on my porch and get a light buzz on. a molson golden or an MGD just does it for me in that situation.
 
2013-02-28 10:51:07 AM
Wut?

24.media.tumblr.com

14.5% people
 
2013-02-28 10:53:01 AM
Blues_X:
Ahem.

Ah stout.  Good stuff.  I don't drink it though, I bake bread from it.
 
2013-02-28 10:53:07 AM
10.5%:

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-28 10:53:43 AM
News articles like this really don't help with the "yank-piss" stereotype:
http://metronews.ca/food/576041/lawsuit-accuses-budweiser-michelob-o f- selling-watery-beer/
 
2013-02-28 10:54:32 AM

UberDave: nekom: BillCo: Woot!  Beer snob thread.  Someone pass me a Schlitz.

I'm sorry, sir. We're out of Schlitz.

I'll have a Michelob then!


One moment Sir, let me go to the restroom and make you some.
 
2013-02-28 10:55:25 AM

kidgenius: busy chillin': Just stop putting hops in everything. Hops sucks and you suck if you like hoppy beer. You are faking it anyway. You don't really like it. You are just trying to be cool. Hops sucks. Every brewery now just makes hop bombs and there are no other types of beer even being produced. Can't even find a decent flavorless beer anymore. F*cking hopheads.

That's what I don't get. Everyone is trying to out-hop one another in their IPAs. There are other things that add to the flavor profile of a beer.

I'd like to see a brewery make a real IPA though. Would be quite the experiment.


ugggh English style IPAs are not good. Sam Smiths India Ale, Left Hand 400lb Monkey, blech....  Needs to have that citrus-piney bite that just wrecks your mouth.  That being said, to make it a Real IPA I guess a brewer would have to load their beer barrels onto a ship and sail (no motors) halfway around the world in unrefrigerated temperatures.  Or I could just drink some Foothills Hoppyum that was bottled a week ago...
 
2013-02-28 10:55:40 AM

tlchwi02: call me unsophisticated, but on a hot day, a light, cold american/canadian lager really hits the spot for me. i do enjoy sophisticated beers (especially stouts and porters in the depths of winter) but sometimes its hot, and i just want to grill on my porch and get a light buzz on. a molson golden or an MGD just does it for me in that situation.


There's certainly a place for it.  My go-to beer is Yuengling Light, and that's parked at 3.2.  I just don't like the saccahrine (sp?) sweet flavor of bud/BL.

Though, if I could get a decent pint of Tennent's in the states, I would.  It's probably the UK/Scottish equivalent of Rolling Rock or some other sketchy beer, but it drinks far too well.
 
2013-02-28 10:57:29 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-28 10:57:37 AM
Because they are more refreshing than stronger beers.

No, really, they are.

When you are thirsty, water is better than whiskey.

And, most Americans stay thirsty, because they are usually dehydrated. Salty food and all.

Also, most people don't actually like alcohol.  They don't like the taste.  They like what alcohol does.

So, if you want something stronger than beer-water, why not just have a vodak?  Typically mixed with somethig sweet to hide the taste.
 
2013-02-28 10:58:04 AM

doublesecretprobation: not weak, just "un-challenging".  that's just the macros though.  the US pretty much dominates the micro industry now.  europe seems to not even care about beer any more (belgium not-withstanding).


That's like saying "China owns the market on small penises; go to China if you want a fantastic fark".
 
2013-02-28 10:58:19 AM
Oh, also, beer snobs are boring.
 
2013-02-28 10:59:14 AM
Making love.  Canoe.  Close.  Water.
 
2013-02-28 11:00:09 AM

Deep Contact: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 800x599]


That right there.

Without a single word in your post, you just explained the entire reason why Budweiser still manages to exist.
 
2013-02-28 11:00:34 AM
19.2%:

beerstreetjournal.com

13%:

thefullpint.com

14%:

3.bp.blogspot.com

11%:

media.philly.com
 
2013-02-28 11:00:53 AM
s21.postimage.org
 
2013-02-28 11:01:00 AM

Deep Contact: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 800x599]


And if you took those chicks out on a boat with 24 cans of Dale's Pale Ale, you wouldn't be getting any of their tops off.
 
2013-02-28 11:01:42 AM

gilgigamesh: Apparently, this "investigative journalist" was recently unfrozen from a block of ice he fell into in 1993.

He should report about that.


QFT

Either he is truly that far out of touch from the world around him -or- this is just a cheap trolling attempt to generate comments/hits.
 
2013-02-28 11:02:13 AM

skremnjava: That being said, to make it a Real IPA I guess a brewer would have to load their beer barrels onto a ship and sail (no motors) halfway around the world in unrefrigerated temperatures.  Or I could just drink some Foothills Hoppyum that was bottled a week ago...


Yes, I know.

They probably could charge a fair bit for it, and beer snobs & hipsters would probably line up to pay.
 
2013-02-28 11:02:25 AM

cefm: I'm going with - in order:

1) Stupid state/local liquor laws - many put outright bans or variable taxes on beer by alcohol %, so national distributors try to sneak in at the lowest tax rate.
2)Prohibition
3) Corporate sprawl pushing out smaller producers
4) 50's-60's era quasi-fascism in U.S.  Nobody wanted to stand out, look different, not drink Bud/Miller
5) The dead-ification of U.S. taste buds accross all gastronomic spheres (see above)
6) Cost, and the desperate attempt by the U.S. to hide the fact that the middle class income has been tanking steadily.  A 30-pack of Stroh's cost the same as a 6-pack of good beer.


Or you could just read the article.
 
2013-02-28 11:02:30 AM

starsrift: That's like saying "China owns the market on small penises; go to China if you want a fantastic fark".


I did.

/you mean with girls, right?
//they prefer to drink gallons of weak lager beer here, too
///or 110 proof paint remover soaked in socks called baijiu
 
2013-02-28 11:02:54 AM
Wow, TFA was heavy on the history and light on the whining.  They know that the internet will cover the whining part.

If you're drinking weak beer, it is a choice.  American craft brewing has saturated the country and there are always options, even if the heartland types still go for their vehemently-defended macro of choice.  While we beer snobs can't fathom why people drink macro brews, there are far more people that not only crave them, but can tell such fine differences between them that they will drink only one line of one brand.

That blows my mind.  To have such passion for ONE beer to the exclusion of the tens of thousands of others in the world.
 
2013-02-28 11:03:42 AM
i bought a can of budweiser the other day because it was $2 ... man it was terrible ... I don't know how people drink this stuff ...
I now hit up local breweries here in the Phoenix area and love the dark stuff ... and I love it when I can find Barley Wine!

If I am low on drinks I go to the local Liquor store and buy myself 2 cans of Four Loko Cranberry lemonade and mix that with some vodka.  I also drink 40s love the malt liquor.  but I can understand why bud taste so bad ...
 
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