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(Mental Floss)   Fark beer purists would never disgrace their palate by allowing a light beer to even come near their mouth. And they'd be missing out on one of the most artfully created brews known to science   (mentalfloss.com) divider line 45
    More: Interesting, malt beverage, Stone Brewing, Dick Butkus, bubba smith, Sierra Nevada Brewing Company, sumo wrestlers, Miller Lite, Brooklyn Brewery  
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2352 clicks; posted to Geek » on 28 Feb 2013 at 9:24 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-28 09:14:54 AM
It's hard to make a lot of noxious substances. Doesn't mean I want to drink them.
 
2013-02-28 09:33:44 AM

St_Francis_P: It's hard to make a lot of noxious substances. Doesn't mean I want to drink them.


This. The only reason to make light beer is to test your prowess as a brewer.
 
2013-02-28 09:33:51 AM
True, it's tough brewing beer without any flavor: Water, ethanol, and food coloring.

/I homebrew small beers, which still taste like beer.
 
2013-02-28 09:35:14 AM
I drink light beer, just not the kind you can buy at the gas station.
 
2013-02-28 09:38:58 AM
I can't read the article here (Mental Floss is blocked for some reason) but is, "Macros make consistent brews in billions of barrels per year, with nary a missed or ruined batch among them" an accurate guess?

If so, then the article misses the point of craft beer. Craft beer is about exploring ingredients, styles and flavors macrobrewers don't bother with, and for good reason, because it's not profitable for ABInBev to do so. Craft beer is a niche industry. I don't like all craft beer styles, nor do I agree with all craft beer nerds, but there's lots of great stuff out there that goes counter to the macrobrewing marketing theory on purpose.
 
2013-02-28 09:41:51 AM

verbaltoxin: I can't read the article here (Mental Floss is blocked for some reason) but is, "Macros make consistent brews in billions of barrels per year, with nary a missed or ruined batch among them" an accurate guess?


I like your technique. I'm going to use it in another thread: "I didn't actually read the article, but I'll respond according to what I assume it said".
 
2013-02-28 09:44:02 AM
I'm sure "Here Comes Honey BooBoo" is hard to make too, what with all the redneck wrangling that must go on, but I'm still not watching it, or respecting it.

Just because something is hard to make, doesn't mean making it is worthwhile.
 
2013-02-28 09:44:39 AM

WhippingBoy: verbaltoxin: I can't read the article here (Mental Floss is blocked for some reason) but is, "Macros make consistent brews in billions of barrels per year, with nary a missed or ruined batch among them" an accurate guess?

I like your technique. I'm going to use it in another thread: "I didn't actually read the article, but I'll respond according to what I assume it said".


I read the article and he's right.

The use of the phrase "artfully created" is incorrect in the headline. It's not artful, it's actually highly controlled and technical.
 
2013-02-28 09:46:26 AM

CheekyMonkey: I'm sure "Here Comes Honey BooBoo" is hard to make too, what with all the redneck wrangling that must go on, but I'm still not watching it, or respecting it.

Just because something is hard to make, doesn't mean making it is worthwhile.


You know what takes an assload of work on Television? American Idol. They run hours upon hours of *live* television every week with so many moving parts, it's truly a marvel of American achievement.

But just because it's an impressive accomplishment doesn't mean it's a quality television show.
 
2013-02-28 09:46:50 AM
In the days before Brita filters, beer staved off disease and dehydration by packing just enough alcohol to kill off pathogens found in drinking water

Uh... I thought it was safe to drink because they boiled the wort.  The alcohol isn't enough to keep beer from growing mold so I find this hard to believe.
 
2013-02-28 09:48:17 AM

WhippingBoy: I like your technique. I'm going to use it in another thread: "I didn't actually read the article, but I'll respond according to what I assume it said".


See Also: the politics tab
 
2013-02-28 09:53:18 AM
I've made a few "Lite" beers recently. I use enough malt and grain to make a 2 gallon batch of strong beer (about 8-9% on the hydrometer) and when the fermentation is complete I add 3 gallons of purified/boiled water. I haven't had much success with carbonation in the bottle though. Yet when I put it in my "cornie" keg and carbonate it the beer tastes pretty good.

/Recently diagnosed as having Type 2 Diabetes but not ready to give up homebrewing dammit!
 
2013-02-28 09:53:27 AM

tricycleracer: In the days before Brita filters, beer staved off disease and dehydration by packing just enough alcohol to kill off pathogens found in drinking water

Uh... I thought it was safe to drink because they boiled the wort.  The alcohol isn't enough to keep beer from growing mold so I find this hard to believe.


None of the microorganisms which can survive in beer can kill you.  Back in the days that the article is referring to, they didn't sanitize any of the fermenting or kegging stuff, so even though boiling the wort sterilized it, it didn't stay sterile for very long...
 
2013-02-28 09:55:48 AM
The article in a nutshell:

As Kyler Serfass, manager of the home-brew supply shop Brooklyn Homebrew, told me, "Light beer is a brewer's beer. It may be bland, but it's really tough to do."

Yeah, I'll stick to ales.
 
2013-02-28 09:58:10 AM
BTW.... If you try what I described? Make sure you have a clean blow-off tube leading to a gallon milk jug filled with a sterilizing agent.... If you simply use a "bubbler" on your carboy? Make sure you have several rolls of paper towels for the mess it will create.

/Blew the damn rubber cork/bubbler off the carboy the first time I tried it. Spent a couple of hours cleaning the wall and the ceiling.
 
2013-02-28 10:00:51 AM

The Evil Home Brewer: BTW.... If you try what I described? Make sure you have a clean blow-off tube leading to a gallon milk jug filled with a sterilizing agent.... If you simply use a "bubbler" on your carboy? Make sure you have several rolls of paper towels for the mess it will create.

/Blew the damn rubber cork/bubbler off the carboy the first time I tried it. Spent a couple of hours cleaning the wall and the ceiling.


I've given up using bubblers due to their unpredictability. The kitchen ceiling is still stained with a nice cranberry braggot that I made in 2008.
 
2013-02-28 10:01:19 AM

CheekyMonkey: tricycleracer: In the days before Brita filters, beer staved off disease and dehydration by packing just enough alcohol to kill off pathogens found in drinking water

Uh... I thought it was safe to drink because they boiled the wort.  The alcohol isn't enough to keep beer from growing mold so I find this hard to believe.

None of the microorganisms which can survive in beer can kill you.  Back in the days that the article is referring to, they didn't sanitize any of the fermenting or kegging stuff, so even though boiling the wort sterilized it, it didn't stay sterile for very long...


Yeah, but if you purposely contaminated beer with all the fun things that were in drinking water back then, would the alcohol actually kill that stuff off?

I'm thinking if they'd just boiled drinking water and stored it above ground and avoided shiatting in it, they'd have been fine.
 
2013-02-28 10:02:40 AM
Light beer tastes like toast made from wonder bread.  Not terrible but not great either.

I'm always willing to shell out the extra bucks for a good IPA or american pale.
 
2013-02-28 10:03:18 AM

The Evil Home Brewer: BTW.... If you try what I described? Make sure you have a clean blow-off tube leading to a gallon milk jug filled with a sterilizing agent.... If you simply use a "bubbler" on your carboy? Make sure you have several rolls of paper towels for the mess it will create.

/Blew the damn rubber cork/bubbler off the carboy the first time I tried it. Spent a couple of hours cleaning the wall and the ceiling.


Your method is called "high gravity" brewing. It's normally used when you want more of the esters, higher alcohols etc. that result from the yeast operating in higher gravity worts. Of course, you can also use it to stretch your brewing volume.
 
2013-02-28 10:15:30 AM

WhippingBoy: verbaltoxin: I can't read the article here (Mental Floss is blocked for some reason) but is, "Macros make consistent brews in billions of barrels per year, with nary a missed or ruined batch among them" an accurate guess?

I like your technique. I'm going to use it in another thread: "I didn't actually read the article, but I'll respond according to what I assume it said".


welcometofark.jpg
 
2013-02-28 10:15:55 AM
Had a Coors Light last night for the first time ever I think.

It really was just a step or two away from water.
 
2013-02-28 10:21:31 AM

The Evil Home Brewer: I've made a few "Lite" beers recently. I use enough malt and grain to make a 2 gallon batch of strong beer (about 8-9% on the hydrometer) and when the fermentation is complete I add 3 gallons of purified/boiled water. I haven't had much success with carbonation in the bottle though. Yet when I put it in my "cornie" keg and carbonate it the beer tastes pretty good.

/Recently diagnosed as having Type 2 Diabetes but not ready to give up homebrewing dammit!


Also be prepared to have oxidized beer adding water after fermentation.  The big brewers do this, but they have equipment to de-oxygenize the water first.  Boiling doesn't remove enough to prevent that cardboard taste.  You can add water before fermentation to get what TEHB is looking to do, without the off flavors.
 
2013-02-28 10:23:15 AM

tricycleracer: CheekyMonkey: tricycleracer: In the days before Brita filters, beer staved off disease and dehydration by packing just enough alcohol to kill off pathogens found in drinking water

Uh... I thought it was safe to drink because they boiled the wort.  The alcohol isn't enough to keep beer from growing mold so I find this hard to believe.

None of the microorganisms which can survive in beer can kill you.  Back in the days that the article is referring to, they didn't sanitize any of the fermenting or kegging stuff, so even though boiling the wort sterilized it, it didn't stay sterile for very long...

Yeah, but if you purposely contaminated beer with all the fun things that were in drinking water back then, would the alcohol actually kill that stuff off?

I'm thinking if they'd just boiled drinking water and stored it above ground and avoided shiatting in it, they'd have been fine.


Again, it's not about killing off EVERYTHING.  Just the fact that nothing that can kill you can live in beer was enormously helpful during a time where people did not understand the mechanisms which cause disease.

Your boiling/storing drinking water would certainly have worked, but since they were unaware that A) microorganisms caused disease, and B) that boiling would kill these disease-causing microorganisms, it doesn't really matter.

You have to remember:  These people didn't know WHY drinking beer worked out better for them than drinking possibly-contaminated water, they just knew that if they gave their kids beer instead of water, fewer died of mysterious illnesses.
 
2013-02-28 10:30:52 AM

CheekyMonkey: You have to remember:  These people didn't know WHY drinking beer worked out better for them than drinking possibly-contaminated water, they just knew that if they gave their kids beer instead of water, fewer died of mysterious illnesses.


I get that.  My argument is that alcohol is not the magic bullet that the article supposes it is.
 
2013-02-28 10:33:58 AM
Ahh... a beer thread.  This gives me a chance to ask a dumb question:

I've seen new beer on the shelves from Budweiser.  Nicely labeled as Black Crown.  I'm curious since half the fun for me is trying new beer, but also very much afraid due to every experience I've ever had with Budweiser.

So, has anyone tried it?  Is it at least tolerable?  Or am I right to be afraid?
 
2013-02-28 10:42:37 AM

Telos: Ahh... a beer thread.  This gives me a chance to ask a dumb question:

I've seen new beer on the shelves from Budweiser.  Nicely labeled as Black Crown.  I'm curious since half the fun for me is trying new beer, but also very much afraid due to every experience I've ever had with Budweiser.

So, has anyone tried it?  Is it at least tolerable?  Or am I right to be afraid?


It's beer. Try it. The worst thing that can happen is that you'll have to buy more beer.
 
2013-02-28 10:43:11 AM

tricycleracer: CheekyMonkey: You have to remember:  These people didn't know WHY drinking beer worked out better for them than drinking possibly-contaminated water, they just knew that if they gave their kids beer instead of water, fewer died of mysterious illnesses.

I get that.  My argument is that alcohol is not the magic bullet that the article supposes it is.


You're arguing against an opinion from medieval Europe. Yes, other things would have certainly worked. Bravo.
 
2013-02-28 10:45:56 AM

Telos: Ahh... a beer thread.  This gives me a chance to ask a dumb question:

I've seen new beer on the shelves from Budweiser.  Nicely labeled as Black Crown.  I'm curious since half the fun for me is trying new beer, but also very much afraid due to every experience I've ever had with Budweiser.

So, has anyone tried it?  Is it at least tolerable?  Or am I right to be afraid?


I have not, and will not, be trying it, but someone did tell me that it's not good.  You should probably try it for yourself, though.  The worst that can happen is that you pour most of it down the drain...
 
2013-02-28 10:49:22 AM

tricycleracer: CheekyMonkey: You have to remember:  These people didn't know WHY drinking beer worked out better for them than drinking possibly-contaminated water, they just knew that if they gave their kids beer instead of water, fewer died of mysterious illnesses.

I get that.  My argument is that alcohol is not the magic bullet that the article supposes it is.


Ah, but for folks living in the 1700s, it WAS a magic bullet, since they were not aware of better alternatives.  Methinks you're being argumentative for no good reason.  I'll defer to Homer Simpson:

Beer:  The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
 
2013-02-28 10:50:20 AM

Telos: Ahh... a beer thread.  This gives me a chance to ask a dumb question:

I've seen new beer on the shelves from Budweiser.  Nicely labeled as Black Crown.  I'm curious since half the fun for me is trying new beer, but also very much afraid due to every experience I've ever had with Budweiser.

So, has anyone tried it?  Is it at least tolerable?  Or am I right to be afraid?


http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/29/88582

I don't know if you should flat out FEAR it, but unless you are trying beers just to say you've "tried X number of beers", your money would probably be better spent on something you do like.
 
2013-02-28 10:56:28 AM

readymix: http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/29/88582

I don't know if you should flat out FEAR it, but unless you are trying beers just to say you've "tried X number of beers", your money would probably be better spent on something you do like.


Without knowing how much they're charging for this, I'd imagine there are several other better, commonly-available beers for the same price or less.
 
2013-02-28 11:05:54 AM

Epicedion: readymix: http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/29/88582

I don't know if you should flat out FEAR it, but unless you are trying beers just to say you've "tried X number of beers", your money would probably be better spent on something you do like.

Without knowing how much they're charging for this, I'd imagine there are several other better, commonly-available beers for the same price or less.


I'm not going to buy it to find out, lol.  But Marketwatch seems to feel it costs "15% more than regular Budweiser".  Honestly, I haven't purchased a domestic macrobrew since 2005 when I picked up a 24 case of Michelob Golden Light because I needed to beer my father while he helped me build a deck, but I didn't want the both of us to nose-dive into alcohol induced uselessness.  So I really don't have much of an idea what crappy budweiser longnecks are going for in stores.
 
2013-02-28 11:37:48 AM
The most scientifically created brews known to art!

Hey look, flip it and its still just as nonsensical. Words but no meaning.
 
2013-02-28 11:51:24 AM
Beer snob thread? I usually don't contribute to these. But I had one the other day that I found notable. It's a light golden Belgian-style ale from Trader Joe's.  Only $4.99 for a 750.

http://www.ratebeer.com/beer/trader-joes-providential-belgian-style- go lden-ale/195065/

Tasty stuff. Really.
 
2013-02-28 12:41:49 PM
A true beer drinker just grinds up hops and snorts them.
 
2013-02-28 12:47:11 PM

Telos: Ahh... a beer thread.  This gives me a chance to ask a dumb question:

I've seen new beer on the shelves from Budweiser.  Nicely labeled as Black Crown.  I'm curious since half the fun for me is trying new beer, but also very much afraid due to every experience I've ever had with Budweiser.

So, has anyone tried it?  Is it at least tolerable?  Or am I right to be afraid?


Had one.  It's alright, but I went back to Yuengling Light after one.  It has the same problem that Bud's "brewmaster collection" had: they all just taste like Budweiser with a drop of liquid smoke.  The "smooth mouthfeel" of the adjunct/rice just makes everything taste sickly sweet with zero body.
 
2013-02-28 01:36:24 PM

Telos: Ahh... a beer thread.  This gives me a chance to ask a dumb question:

I've seen new beer on the shelves from Budweiser.  Nicely labeled as Black Crown.  I'm curious since half the fun for me is trying new beer, but also very much afraid due to every experience I've ever had with Budweiser.

So, has anyone tried it?  Is it at least tolerable?  Or am I right to be afraid?


It's pretty good. A little more body and a little stronger than traditional Budweiser. But then again, I like traditional Budweiser. YMMV
 
2013-02-28 01:53:40 PM

WhippingBoy: verbaltoxin: I can't read the article here (Mental Floss is blocked for some reason) but is, "Macros make consistent brews in billions of barrels per year, with nary a missed or ruined batch among them" an accurate guess?

I like your technique. I'm going to use it in another thread: "I didn't actually read the article, but I'll respond according to what I assume it said".


I qualified my statements with "IF I'm correct." I didn't assume. Oh and I was right, by the way.

Now do the Canadian thing and apologize.
 
2013-02-28 02:35:51 PM

tricycleracer: CheekyMonkey: You have to remember:  These people didn't know WHY drinking beer worked out better for them than drinking possibly-contaminated water, they just knew that if they gave their kids beer instead of water, fewer died of mysterious illnesses.

I get that.  My argument is that alcohol is not the magic bullet that the article supposes it is.


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-28 03:46:19 PM

CheekyMonkey: Telos: Ahh... a beer thread.  This gives me a chance to ask a dumb question:

I've seen new beer on the shelves from Budweiser.  Nicely labeled as Black Crown.  I'm curious since half the fun for me is trying new beer, but also very much afraid due to every experience I've ever had with Budweiser.

So, has anyone tried it?  Is it at least tolerable?  Or am I right to be afraid?

I have not, and will not, be trying it, but someone did tell me that it's not good.  You should probably try it for yourself, though.  The worst that can happen is that you pour most of it down the drain...


the best beer in the world is the one in your hand.

despite me bringing home loads of overruns and bad labled beer from the beer mines, the brother is insistent on being a cheap beer junkie.

so yes, Ive had a chance to try it.

its regular bud, and they add a little caramel malt to the bill. little fuller bodied, much darker, but still thin on the palate.
 
2013-02-28 03:51:12 PM
I don't want to drink a glass of "science".  I want bubbly water, ethanol, malt, and hops.
 
2013-02-28 03:58:45 PM

St_Francis_P: The Evil Home Brewer: BTW.... If you try what I described? Make sure you have a clean blow-off tube leading to a gallon milk jug filled with a sterilizing agent.... If you simply use a "bubbler" on your carboy? Make sure you have several rolls of paper towels for the mess it will create.

/Blew the damn rubber cork/bubbler off the carboy the first time I tried it. Spent a couple of hours cleaning the wall and the ceiling.

Your method is called "high gravity" brewing. It's normally used when you want more of the esters, higher alcohols etc. that result from the yeast operating in higher gravity worts. Of course, you can also use it to stretch your brewing volume.


and more to the point, watering down the beer in HGB is not making it "lite". in the way the evil homebrewer is thinking.

lite beer is made by adding an extra enzyme to the mash to convert the normaly unfermentable sugars into fermentable sugars. that way, they can be fully worked by the yeast to decrease the over all carbohydrate content of the finished product.

lite beer was originaly developed as a style for diabetics. and sold as such. thing is, nobody bought it, not because it tasted bad, but because people thought it was medicinal or something.

the style didn't take off untill Miller, with an eye to the diet soda market, took the process, and sold it like diet soda.

making a HG batch of beer and watering down, is not reducing the carbohydrate level in the end product if the point of doing it is to make it better for you to drink if you have type 2 diabeetus, all you are really doing is reducing the alcohol of the original batch of beer
 
2013-02-28 04:45:13 PM
My dad worked for Miller in the '70s building breweries to meet Lite demand.  My whole childhood was wrapped in cases of Lite in the basement, Lite blankets, Lite wall clocks, Lite mirrors, Lite baseball hats...you get the point.

I still like it, no matter what you people say.

/I like more full-bodied brews, too.  But sometimes you just want a lightly-flavored beer.
 
2013-03-01 09:15:47 PM

The Homer Tax: WhippingBoy: verbaltoxin: I can't read the article here (Mental Floss is blocked for some reason) but is, "Macros make consistent brews in billions of barrels per year, with nary a missed or ruined batch among them" an accurate guess?

I like your technique. I'm going to use it in another thread: "I didn't actually read the article, but I'll respond according to what I assume it said".

I read the article and he's right.

The use of the phrase "artfully created" is incorrect in the headline. It's not artful, it's actually highly controlled and technical.


This just in: artful means "with skill."

/ars, artis, gen. pl. artium, f.
//3rd declension i-stem
///learn2wordroots
 
2013-03-01 09:24:52 PM

The Homer Tax: technical


Also, the root of the word technical (Greek techne) means the same thing as art: skill. So, double dumbass on you!

Man, do I love words.
 
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