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(NJ.com)   Heather has two mommies. And one of them has a machete   (nj.com) divider line 95
    More: Strange, garfield, possession of a weapon  
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10011 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Feb 2013 at 11:19 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-28 12:31:17 PM

Publikwerks: I wonder if he realized that both of Heather's mommies are in jail.

Time to go back to the scene of the crime and plant your flag.


And by flag you mean penis.
 
2013-02-28 12:31:38 PM
What always goes through my mind after reading such stories is "what, exactly, did those two adults think was going to happen as a result of their actions?"
 
2013-02-28 12:33:35 PM

GranoblasticMan: Gifted Many Few: crab66: Kids are going to fool around. Get over it.

If this woman stopped one unwanted pregnancy and another drain on society, good for her.

Because there's no such thing as birth control.


Kids that just have lust in their hearts aren't thinking about birth control. All they care about is getting off.
 
2013-02-28 12:40:07 PM
"Daddy's New Roommate"  Absolute filth. Disgusting.
"Heather's Two Mommies" Quite a fetching read.

/RIP Bill
 
2013-02-28 12:40:35 PM

iheartscotch: To The Escape Zeppelin!: "unlawful possession of a weapon"

Since when is owning a machete unlawful? Home Depot sells them, right next to the shovels.

It's New York! A semi-wet towel that is used to snap at someone else is considered a deadly weapon.

/ probably can't have a knife over 8 inches or something like that


Actually it's NJ, which until Cuomo/Bloomberg, made NY look like South Dakota in these regards. A buttered bagel in NJ will get you arrested for the bagel (too many carbs) the butter (too much fat) and the butter knife (lethal weapon, it is a knife anyway).
 
2013-02-28 12:41:01 PM

Gifted Many Few: Kids that just have lust in their hearts aren't thinking about birth control. All they care about is getting off.


You kidding? When I was 16 birth control was the second-best thing in the universe.
 
2013-02-28 12:41:23 PM
take that child the hell away from those idiots
 
2013-02-28 12:42:29 PM

To The Escape Zeppelin!: "unlawful possession of a weapon"

Since when is owning a machete unlawful? Home Depot sells them, right next to the shovels.


That's what I was wondering, too.  I read the article and thought "well shiat.  Am I going to have to go get a permit for my garden tools now?"
 
2013-02-28 12:47:21 PM

HortusMatris: That's what I was wondering, too.  I read the article and thought "well shiat.  Am I going to have to go get a permit for my garden tools now?"


Wasn't there a story yesterday about how some guy got arrested because he had a couple of hoes?
 
2013-02-28 12:47:23 PM

iheartscotch: To The Escape Zeppelin!: "unlawful possession of a weapon"

Since when is owning a machete unlawful? Home Depot sells them, right next to the shovels.

It's New York! A semi-wet towel that is used to snap at someone else is considered a deadly weapon.

/ probably can't have a knife over 8 inches or something like that


Garfield, NJ is New York?  I don't think so.  You make want to audit a 4th grade geography class for a bit.
 
2013-02-28 12:51:20 PM

iheartscotch: To The Escape Zeppelin!: "unlawful possession of a weapon"

Since when is owning a machete unlawful? Home Depot sells them, right next to the shovels.

It's New York! A semi-wet towel that is used to snap at someone else is considered a deadly weapon.

/ probably can't have a knife over 8 inches or something like that



Garfield is in NJ.  Not New York.

i573.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-28 12:53:52 PM

uttertosh: Because People in power are Stupid: Of course you know that this is impossible. Men are always the aggressor.

as a beating victim of 3 'feminazis', who broke 3 ribs, my nose, and my collar bone, (for being male) without the polis doing anything about it (because 'I should have defended myself',  I concur with your statement.

Sexism is alive and well in the Swedish investigatory system.


Yeah, but hot Swedish chicks, right??!!Sorry, I had to take a foreign exchange student out to a dance for a friend when I was in college, all Swedish women are not hot, thin, and most importantly for the evening, sane, so I am sorry you had that experience. I would sue the hell out of them!
 
2013-02-28 12:54:27 PM

stevetherobot: No, this Garfield woman beat the boy because he ate all her lasagna.


It's too bad this story happened on a Tuesday instead of a day earlier, otherwise she's have a perfect defense.

/Because Garfield hates Mondays.
//Like in the comic strip.
///With the cat.
////Garfield.
 
2013-02-28 12:55:35 PM

HortusMatris: To The Escape Zeppelin!: "unlawful possession of a "

Since when is owning a machete unlawful? Home Depot sells them, right next to the shovels.

That's what I was wondering, too.  I read the article and thought "well shiat.  Am I going to have to go get a permit for my garden tools now?"


It's all about context, in the eyes of the law, when you use a otherwise innocuous object to hurt someone it BECOMES a weapon and the cops a lot of leeway with what they can charge you with.
 
2013-02-28 12:57:48 PM
collider.com
 
2013-02-28 12:58:32 PM

reillan: When I was 17, I went over to my girlfriend's house, and her mom was home.  She greeted me, asked if I wanted anything to drink (water, etc.), and when my g/f said "we're just going to go hang out in my room", her mom said, "ok, you two have fun."  Never bugged us once, although my g/f was totally paranoid that she would.


When my daughter starts dating I'm planning to welcome the boy and say "Listen, instead of spending all that money on dinner and a movie just give me the money and I'll get dinner and see a movie myself and I'll be out of your hair"
 
2013-02-28 01:00:12 PM

Pentaxian: reillan: When I was 17, I went over to my girlfriend's house, and her mom was home.  She greeted me, asked if I wanted anything to drink (water, etc.), and when my g/f said "we're just going to go hang out in my room", her mom said, "ok, you two have fun."  Never bugged us once, although my g/f was totally paranoid that she would.

When my daughter starts dating I'm planning to welcome the boy and say "Listen, instead of spending all that money on dinner and a movie just give me the money and I'll get dinner and see a movie myself and I'll be out of your hair"


You, sir, are in for many great dinners.
 
2013-02-28 01:01:08 PM

reillan: Pentaxian: reillan: When I was 17, I went over to my girlfriend's house, and her mom was home.  She greeted me, asked if I wanted anything to drink (water, etc.), and when my g/f said "we're just going to go hang out in my room", her mom said, "ok, you two have fun."  Never bugged us once, although my g/f was totally paranoid that she would.

When my daughter starts dating I'm planning to welcome the boy and say "Listen, instead of spending all that money on dinner and a movie just give me the money and I'll get dinner and see a movie myself and I'll be out of your hair"

You, sir, are in for many great dinners.


Sometimes paid for by the entire high-school football team!
 
2013-02-28 01:06:05 PM
Thread is useless without Michelle Rodriguez.
 
2013-02-28 01:09:11 PM
Garfield mom

anissastein.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-28 01:09:36 PM
It never says what the circumstances were. If she caught the pair of them going at it, or the boy with his pecker wet, I can understand some of the rage. Don't condone it, no, but kinda understand it. As for the beat-down, I wonder if the boy, maybe, exaggerated it in order to not look like a pansy. In any case, threatening him with a machete and and beating the crap out of him were probably bad ideas.
As for my daughters and their boyfriends, as long as I don't hear them, and they are playing safe, I don't care. It's a health issue for us, not a moral issue.
 
2013-02-28 01:09:40 PM
Vargas contacted 30-year-old Shaina Carter of the Bronx, N.Y., who police described as her "companion."

What a companion might look like.

www.beertripper.com
 
2013-02-28 01:42:08 PM
You people wouldn't be laughing if she'd chopped off his penis.

That's how I was afraid the story would end.
 
2013-02-28 01:49:01 PM

Zul the Magnificent: Michelle Rodriguez


Well, you made my Thursday work day a little nicer.  Here ya go.

files.x-celebrity.meu.zoznam.sk
 
2013-02-28 01:52:28 PM

Now I Is!: HortusMatris: To The Escape Zeppelin!: "unlawful possession of a "

Since when is owning a machete unlawful? Home Depot sells them, right next to the shovels.

That's what I was wondering, too.  I read the article and thought "well shiat.  Am I going to have to go get a permit for my garden tools now?"

It's all about context, in the eyes of the law, when you use a otherwise innocuous object to hurt someone it BECOMES a weapon and the cops a lot of leeway with what they can charge you with.


What if I want to use innocuous objects, such as machetes, baseball bats, crow-bar, Shake-Weights, etc. for home defense?  Is there an "innocuous object for home defense" permit, or will I be slapped with an "unlawful use of innocuous object" charge for bashing a burglar upside the head with a lamp?
 
2013-02-28 01:54:53 PM

blatz514: Well, you made my Thursday work day a little nicer. Here ya go.


I thank you.
 
2013-02-28 02:18:06 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: Whole lotta stories about gays and transgender folks today...


That's PROGRESS, you benighted bigot!
 
2013-02-28 02:19:12 PM
A machete, eh?  You could make quite a wound with one of those.
 
2013-02-28 02:19:48 PM

stevetherobot: No, this Garfield woman beat the boy because he ate all her lasagna.


Is that slang for "lesbian vagina?"  I gather the daughter isn't a lesbian, but she's theirs.
 
2013-02-28 02:24:31 PM

Gifted Many Few: crab66: Kids are going to fool around. Get over it.

If this woman stopped one unwanted pregnancy and another drain on society, good for her.


You flunk Biblology 1:01.   Children of gays can't get pregnant.  So fark 'em.
 
2013-02-28 02:37:35 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: There is no evidence gay couples are adopting children just to have a sexual plaything to train.


Would the "Mommy" have threatened a girl with the machete?
 
2013-02-28 02:39:39 PM

Two16: A machete, eh?  You could make quite a wound with one of those.


It's a trick.  Get an axe.
 
2013-02-28 02:42:18 PM

Starhawk: Two16: A machete, eh?  You could make quite a wound with one of those.

It's a trick.  Get an axe.


Perhaps a hatchet for sir?
 
2013-02-28 02:50:26 PM

Two16: A machete, eh?  You could make quite a wound with one of those.


Do you know what a machete can do to...
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-28 02:53:53 PM
Came here to see Danny Treejo.  Leaving satisfied.
 
2013-02-28 03:07:33 PM
They just messed with the wrong lesbian.
 
2013-02-28 03:20:07 PM
In HS we had a snow day so my GF and I spent the day banging in her bed. All of a sudden her dad comes home for lunch and starts trudging up the steps. I grabbed my clothes and bolted for the closet, and as I was pulling the door shut I could see the bedroom door opening...

I hid in that closet naked until he finished his lunch and left.

/csb
// hell yeah we finished what we started
 
2013-02-28 04:32:01 PM
cdn03.cdn.thesuperficial.com
 
2013-02-28 04:34:00 PM

DenisVengeance: In HS we had a snow day so my GF and I spent the day banging in her bed. All of a sudden her dad comes home for lunch and starts trudging up the steps. I grabbed my clothes and bolted for the closet, and as I was pulling the door shut I could see the bedroom door opening...

I hid in that closet naked until he finished his lunch and left.

/csb
// hell yeah we finished what we started


Why was he eating in his daughter's bedroo-...  oh god...
 
2013-02-28 04:52:13 PM
Typical lesbians.  They beat the wrong one.  They should have beat their daughter.
 
2013-02-28 04:55:02 PM

Gifted Many Few: crab66: Kids are going to fool around. Get over it.

If this woman stopped one unwanted pregnancy and another drain on society, good for her.


If this kid could get two crazed lesbians locked up and out of society he should get a medal.  Oh wait, he just did that.  Way to go sonny!  Now is a time for boinkin' the girl.
 
2013-02-28 04:58:16 PM

reillan: Pentaxian: reillan: When I was 17, I went over to my girlfriend's house, and her mom was home.  She greeted me, asked if I wanted anything to drink (water, etc.), and when my g/f said "we're just going to go hang out in my room", her mom said, "ok, you two have fun."  Never bugged us once, although my g/f was totally paranoid that she would.

When my daughter starts dating I'm planning to welcome the boy and say "Listen, instead of spending all that money on dinner and a movie just give me the money and I'll get dinner and see a movie myself and I'll be out of your hair"

You, sir, are in for many great dinners.


Hey, teens will do what teens will do. If they're going to do stuff like that much better that they have some privacy rather than getting caught by a cop in the backseat of a car. BTW I'll be much more upset if I find cigarettes in her possession than birth control. One shows that she has respect for her body the other one does not.
 
2013-02-28 07:07:19 PM
  

To The Escape Zeppelin!: "unlawful possession of a weapon"

Since when is owning a machete unlawful? Home Depot sells them, right next to the shovels.


csb;

I was recently charged with "possession of a weapon dangerous to public safety" after the rcmp constable responding to the physical dispute I got forced into patted me down and discovered the belt sheath for my official Bear Grylls folding knife I had earlier handed to a bartender lest it be found on my person and used against me in the manner it ended up being anyway. This was a Gerber with a 3" blade I had purchased from a local London Drugs (drug store for all you mendicants) which was sitting right beside an official Bear Grylls machete in the display case.

  After responding to his query as to the knife's location with "what knife, constable?" he kicked my feet out from under me and started booting me in the ribs, breaking only one thank buddha, whilst shouting "stop resisting!"
  I wonder what he would have done if the knife was actually in its sheath.  I still carry a folding blade in my pocket, refuse to give in to the politically correct pussification of the north american male. I've been carrying a lock-blade all my adult life because it is a farking TOOL first and weapon never. Unless maybe my fists become non-functioning and I need to fend off a rabid pack of carrots in need of peeling.
 
/after six weeks off work unpaid I'm finally ready to return to society as a productive member thereof and continue paying that cocksmokers wage
//anyone know of a good defense and then civil claims lawyer in the Edmonton area?
 
2013-02-28 07:36:58 PM

uttertosh: Because People in power are Stupid: Of course you know that this is impossible. Men are always the aggressor.

as a beating victim of 3 'feminazis', who broke 3 ribs, my nose, and my collar bone, (for being male) without the polis doing anything about it (because 'I should have defended myself',  I concur with your statement.

Sexism is alive and well in the Swedish investigatory system.


Now you know not to insult ugly lesbian shoes.
 
2013-02-28 07:43:36 PM

Ohlookabutterfly: I still carry a folding blade in my pocket, refuse to give in to the politically correct pussification of the north american male


Me too.  Preach it, Brother.
 
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