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(NBC News)   Study shows the best way to deal with jerks is to give them the silent treatment. Subby expects this thread to have no replies at all   (bodyodd.nbcnews.com) divider line 46
    More: Interesting, City University of New York, Baruch College, depletion  
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4264 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Feb 2013 at 6:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-28 06:22:44 AM  
Talk to me, you never talk to me.
 
2013-02-28 06:24:21 AM  
Figured this out years ago.  Just turning around to stare someone in the eyes that is being a dick makes them feel really uncomfortable and they usually go be a dick elsewhere rather than continuing to annoy you.  Before trolling got popular on the internets, trolling existed in real life too, albeit with quite a bit less humor.  The best way to put an end to it was to not feed them.
 
2013-02-28 06:25:25 AM  
...............
 
2013-02-28 06:26:09 AM  
Yeah, not so much.  I've had bullies follow me for miles.  And if I tried to ignore them, so much the better.  Scrawny geeks are sooo much easier to torment when they don't make any noise.
 
2013-02-28 06:26:49 AM  
 
2013-02-28 06:28:46 AM  
Hence the Ignore list.
 
2013-02-28 06:35:03 AM  
Did subby just call himself a Jerk?
 
2013-02-28 06:41:59 AM  
I just tell then the Jerk Store called
 
2013-02-28 06:42:00 AM  
I won't even dignify that with an answer.

(See, because I am ignoring you)
 
2013-02-28 06:52:16 AM  
This is true, I always try to be as quiet as possible when I'm in the midst of a jerk.

/Don't want to wake the wife
 
2013-02-28 06:55:40 AM  
Or the opposite.

images.wikia.com
 
2013-02-28 07:08:20 AM  
I find this useful for dealing with bigots. They have an endless supply of rants and made up "facts" to use to argue with. But simply giving them a look of disapproval while refusing the engage them at all tends to make them wander off. If it happens to them enough, eventually they get the message that their views are self destructive or at least only going to get them the desired reaction when they go online.

There was something similar to the south during the early 1900s for dealing with the KKK called the Frown Campaign. Whenever someone would start taking about being a member of the klan, those around them would simply frown and not speak to them. Though it didn't end racism, it did make kKK membership socially isolating and the numbers rapidly declined.

Though unrelated to the silent treatment, Superman helped defeat the KKK too.  Seriously, the Superman radio show exposed and mocked many KKK so called secret rituals. It's kind of hard to get excited about dancing around in the middle of the woods in a robe when your kids entertainment is making fun of you. (CSB)
 
2013-02-28 07:18:10 AM  
Works with biatches, too. There is a woman at work who hates me because she wants to get close to my boss they way I am, but can't because well, he secretly doesn't like her. So she constantly tries to get under my skin and I've made a little game out of not responding in any form to her passive agressive crap. The more she does it, the more oblivious I get and the more hilarious it is. She is a sad, horrible woman.

/fellow female, of the non-biatchy variety
 
2013-02-28 07:19:55 AM  
www.mannythemovieguy.com
 
2013-02-28 07:21:49 AM  

hornblowerfan: Works with biatches, too. There is a woman at work who hates me because she wants to get close to my boss they way I am, but can't because well, he secretly doesn't like her. So she constantly tries to get under my skin and I've made a little game out of not responding in any form to her passive agressive crap. The more she does it, the more oblivious I get and the more hilarious it is. She is a sad, horrible woman.

/fellow female, of the non-biatchy variety


I thonk your name might indicate why you're so close with your boss.

/beinig a jerk
 
2013-02-28 07:22:45 AM  
Wow J sukc at inertne pt today.
 
2013-02-28 07:24:49 AM  
 Marge: Oh Maggie, when are you going to talk?
 Lisa : Well, don't push her.  Remember, it is better to remain
        silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
 Brain: What does that mean?  Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.
 Homer: Takes one to know one.
 Brain: Swish!
 
2013-02-28 07:37:16 AM  
You know who else ignored jerks...
 
2013-02-28 07:41:37 AM  
*crickets*
 
2013-02-28 07:43:24 AM  
This is the mantra of the Midwest. Passive aggressive, the lot of em!
 
2013-02-28 07:47:16 AM  
You can't control other people's behavior. You can control your reaction to them.

It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable.

/The two reasons I'll never visit the politics tab I again.
 
2013-02-28 07:49:19 AM  
Certain politicians apparently have not read this article....(Ellison/Hannity on Fox)
.......and.........
Certain newscasters apparently have not read this article....(O'Brien/Sununu on CNN)
 
2013-02-28 07:51:28 AM  
img.photobucket.com

Total farkin' silence.
 
2013-02-28 08:00:45 AM  
It just lets the lesser bullies know that you aren't going to do anything. So instead of just the regular bullies picking on you, you got more jerks using you to bulk up their ego.

It does work on neo-cons Jebus lovers who want to project their BS beliefs on to you.
"You know the planet is just 6,000 years old, you can make oil in 10 years and every scientist in the academia has discounted the Big Bang Theory."
"........."
"You know the 3/5th agreement was to limit the slaves from getting the vote. It had nothing to do with the census or evening the number of representatives in the southern states against the more populated northern states."
"........"
"Well, yeah. Okay. Gotta go.
 
2013-02-28 08:07:30 AM  
Being someone that finds himself in the middle of a jerk quite often, I have to agree. If somebody was talking to me it 'd be very hard to finish.
 
2013-02-28 08:25:55 AM  

hornblowerfan: Works with biatches, too. There is a woman at work who hates me because she wants to get close to my boss they way I am, but can't because well, he secretly doesn't like her. So she constantly tries to get under my skin and I've made a little game out of not responding in any form to her passive agressive crap. The more she does it, the more oblivious I get and the more hilarious it is. She is a sad, horrible woman.

/fellow female, of the non-biatchy variety


It sounds like you're fighting with yourself...
 
2013-02-28 08:32:02 AM  

Benjamin Orr: Talk to me, you never talk to me.


I was listening.
 
2013-02-28 08:33:08 AM  
The article only focused on people that have no prior relationship. It makes sense that that strategy would work. Neither would want to expend energy on someone who is not interested in wasting energy on you.

But if you have a prior relationship with someone I think it would be more helpful to point out the jerkiness.
For example, yesterday I made a comment to a coworker that was done without thought and we had recently had a conversation about how much he hates those types of comments. He responded in a way that let me know my comment was not appreciated, but in a lighthearted way. I feel like a jerk and will definitely apologize today.
Had he just given me the silent treatment I might not have known what I had said wrong and might not have had the chance to repair the relationship.
 
2013-02-28 08:33:40 AM  
If I don't respons to jerks, how will everyone know how smart and witty and oh-so-right I am???
 
2013-02-28 08:40:31 AM  
Shh.. I'm reading
 
2013-02-28 08:42:10 AM  
If everyone ignored jerks, then 90% of all conversation in the world and 99.999% of Internet traffic would utterly cease.

Hmm, maybe we're on to something. . .
 
2013-02-28 08:52:41 AM  
Jerks? Sure.

Bullies? Nope.

Once things get physical, the only way to stop them is to be willing to go one step further than them. Eventually they'll figure it out and leave you alone. Capitulate, and you'll only invite more abuse.
 
2013-02-28 09:00:31 AM  
shiiiiin~~~~
 
2013-02-28 09:46:31 AM  
Doesn't work with psychos. Just pisses them off worse.

Dammit. Between NH Rep. Mark Warden, and fresh news about psycho, today farking sucks.
 
2013-02-28 09:51:49 AM  
This is why retail and customer service jobs suck so much.

It's ironic because a lot of the time when Entitled Jerkwad is biatching about some worker who screws up something minor, that worker is often really making mistakes because of the stress and performance degradation caused by other jerks, or the jerk himself.
 
2013-02-28 09:56:16 AM  

probesport: Benjamin Orr: Talk to me, you never talk to me.

I was listening.


Oh-oh-oh
 
2013-02-28 10:22:38 AM  

dragonchild: If everyone ignored jerks, then 90% of all conversation in the world and 99.999% of

NON-PRON Internet traffic would utterly cease.

Hmm, maybe we're on to something. . .


FTF everyone
 
2013-02-28 10:23:54 AM  

Committee_For_Aesthetic_Deletions: If everyone ignored jerks, then 90% of all conversation in the world and 99.999% of NON-PRON Internet traffic would utterly cease.

Hmm, maybe we're on to something. . .

FTF everyone


I stand stiff & corrected.
 
2013-02-28 10:28:22 AM  

EngineerAU: I find this useful for dealing with bigots.

There was something similar to the south during the early 1900s for dealing with the KKK called the Frown Campaign. Whenever someone would start taking about being a member of the klan, those around them would simply frown and not speak to them. Though it didn't end racism, it did make kKK membership socially isolating and the numbers rapidly declined.

CSB)


That reminds me of the scene in "12 Angry Men" where the one juror begins spewing bigoted nonsense and the other jurors physically walk away from him, ignoring his ranting.
 
2013-02-28 10:43:31 AM  
So they're saying:
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-28 10:59:23 AM  

Begoggle: So they're saying:
[25.media.tumblr.com image 288x288]


Not really. Unless, of course, you're like 95% of Fark and define a Troll as "someone who's opinion I disagree with".
 
2013-02-28 11:08:34 AM  
 
2013-02-28 11:53:05 AM  
_________
 
2013-02-28 12:41:52 PM  
I thought the best thing to do with jerks is give them a reality TV show.
 
2013-02-28 02:30:52 PM  
This doesn't always work with women. With my brother's wife if he didn't immediately agree with and validate her wacky opinions, passing whims, or worse, - somehow read her mind - he was 'being a jerk'.

I think he actually appreciated the silent treatment after awhile.
 
2013-03-01 07:02:28 AM  
rack.0.mshcdn.com
 
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