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(Globe and Mail)   Would you go to Mars on a 501 day round trip with your wife? Difficulty: Your wife, no showers, no toilet paper, drinking your own urine   (theglobeandmail.com) divider line 115
    More: Followup, Mars rover Curiosity, handout, Red Planet, showers  
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2050 clicks; posted to Geek » on 28 Feb 2013 at 12:25 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-28 03:10:07 AM  
Magellan, Cabot, Cook, Franklin, etc..all took one-way trips in their explorations.
My question is, why couldn't my wife do the same?
 
2013-02-28 03:13:09 AM  
Can I choose a new wife before I go?

My wife would not want to go on the trip.
 
2013-02-28 04:27:57 AM  
No internet? Someone would die.
 
2013-02-28 04:49:14 AM  
YES! I would go. I would take my wife with me. Seriously? How could I not want to? My wife would be hesitant, until I mention the awesome fringe benefit of ... Zero gravity sex!

I already live most of the American dream, I'm a white guy who screws a minority. I may as well live the Ultimate dream, of doing that in space.

And we can catch up on reading and video games!

/now I've only got to find a babysitter
//name a more niche porn than "inter-racial, zero-gravity, ANY kind of sex"
 
2013-02-28 05:16:05 AM  

The Snow Dog: They'll be a lot closer to home if something goes wrong and they can glean the same scientific knowledge that they could from a loop-the-Mars mission


You don't go to mars only for science. That's why NASA has fallen hard from grace in the budgets. The nerds just don't understand how normal people think.

This guy does. We want people to visit mars because we want to visit mars but cannot. No one cares about the science per se, but only as it relates to visiting other planets. Back in the day we got to the moon and people still talk about it. Why? That shiat's farkin' awesome. We're doing a lot more science on the ISS and nobody really cares until a space shuttle explodes? Why? R&D is boring.

Space tourism, if it could be cheapened, would bring in money that would make government budgets look like chump change because at the end of the day all people really care about is themselves. They want to go play golf on the moon. The insistence on mission efficiency is a bane to space research. The more boring the missions, the less people want to pay for them. This guy has the right idea. Get people excited about stuff, even if it's not much scientifically, it's much more important the masses are into it than we identify another silica crystal variety.
 
2013-02-28 05:29:27 AM  

rubi_con_man: If you're going to colonize a planet you need 4 males ages 25-32 and 16 females aged 16-22


This part sounds like fun
 
2013-02-28 05:51:34 AM  

Head_Shot: Other than the Mars thing...how is this any different than what were doing now?


Well, for one thing, the Earth is just a lifeless, dangerous mud ball, a rock, constantly threatened by species-destroying asteroids. Mars on the other hand, is a paradise, the Promised Land of the Space Nutter religion.
/I just hope the pack a 3D printer
 
2013-02-28 05:52:24 AM  
Anyone could see the road that they walk on is paved in gold
And it's always summer, they'll never get cold
They'll never get hungry, they'll never get old and gray
You can see their shadows wandering off somewhere
They won't make it home but they really don't care...

dl.dropbox.com
 
2013-02-28 06:07:58 AM  
This just makes me want to play Kerbal Space Program.  All they gotta to do make this work is attach some random solar panels to the thing, and make sure they get the staging right so they don't detach the fuel supply for the return voyage like happens every god damned time after hours and hours spent designing the rocket and running the mission. God damnit.

/gonna EVA those farkers and watch them de-orbit as penance for their (my)failure.
 
2013-02-28 06:26:19 AM  
FTA: Even though some of the hardware hasn't even been built, Mr. Tito said he is confident everything will come together by 2018 with no test flights.

Who would volunteer for this other than someone with a death wish?
 
2013-02-28 06:27:50 AM  
No showers, no TP, ...

Why not just take a Carnival Cruise?
 
2013-02-28 06:34:11 AM  

gadian: I'd do it.  The kids would understand, right?  Hell, they can come too.


Mars aint the kind of place to raise your kids. in fact its cold as hell.
 
2013-02-28 06:39:47 AM  
I have always wondered if, on a mission like that, do they have a plan or device to get rid of a body, if someone dies. It would be a bummer to be stuck in a capsule with a dead body, for months.
 
2013-02-28 06:40:01 AM  
I am officially looking for someone to go with. I promise good behavior and total submission, as long as you let me go to Mars. Yes, I am that desperate to get off this rock.
 
2013-02-28 06:43:21 AM  

Befuddled: Who would volunteer for this other than someone with a death wish?


Adventure is often at great risk.
 
2013-02-28 06:47:07 AM  
My wife an I are both up for going. We're in good shape, younger (I 28, she 26), college educated. Only hangup is that we just had a kid 4 months ago. I don't think we can pawn off the kid to my in-laws for two years.

/If only
 
2013-02-28 06:50:22 AM  
There is NO ONE I want to be trapped with for 500 days. And no one wants to be trapped with me that long either
 
2013-02-28 07:07:36 AM  
Two astronauts, one cup.
 
2013-02-28 07:09:19 AM  

Pick: I have always wondered if, on a mission like that, do they have a plan or device to get rid of a body, if someone dies. It would be a bummer to be stuck in a capsule with a dead body, for months.


Just air lock 'em. No biggie.
 
2013-02-28 07:26:45 AM  
At this point, I'd hold on to the outside of the ship if it got me into space.
 
2013-02-28 07:33:24 AM  

HotIgneous Intruder: Two astronauts, one cup.


Interesting fact: the original Apollo missons didn't really have a good toilet system, so the air in the capsule got a little whiffy. So wiffy, in fact, when the SEALs recovered the astronauts from their capsule, they threw up after opening the hatch.
 
2013-02-28 07:54:55 AM  
So it's like couples thru-hiking the AT. Got it.
 
2013-02-28 08:18:48 AM  
i1194.photobucket.com
Artificial gravity. Because osteoporosis sucks.
 
2013-02-28 08:20:30 AM  
While I guess I understand the "Geewhiz" bit, this mission makes very little sense

It's a free return mission- you don't even orbit the planet.  Science return will be zero.

For the crew, it's about 6 hours of excitement at the start and then sitting in a tiny room for 500 days.  You're not even going to have big windows to view Mars for the few hours you can see it.

For the public, there's no payoff.  Folks want to see some guy jumping off a lander, muffing his big line and then bouncing around on the surface, not two people in a box returning photos that are worse than what the MRO can already do.  It will be even more boring than the ISS since you won't even have the fun of watching the Earth go by.
 
2013-02-28 08:29:45 AM  
Cthulu is my homeboy:  I would keep the power, engines, and support with the capsule, and leave deadweight mass and science gear as the counterweight, in case that tether snaps...
 
2013-02-28 08:38:39 AM  
So, which couple wants to be the first one to have their mummified corpses slowly orbiting the sun for the rest of eternity?

\ You know that's how this will end if it actually goes ahead.
\\Which it won't.
 
2013-02-28 08:40:05 AM  
Sure, I'll go with my Canadian wife. You haven't met her, but she's really hot.
 
2013-02-28 08:41:49 AM  
I should mention that you have to be old because you are going to die on the trip or soon after due to the radiation.
 
2013-02-28 08:46:22 AM  

Any Pie Left: Cthulu is my homeboy:  I would keep the power, engines, and support with the capsule, and leave deadweight mass and science gear as the counterweight, in case that tether snaps...


Doing it that way requires you to have a deadweight mass that weighs as much as the spacecraft itself, which is extremely wasteful when you're talking a billion dollars a pound.

It's much easier to just make the tether far stronger than it needs to be to support the weight of the mass at each end.
 
2013-02-28 08:50:34 AM  
You mean Morgan Fairchild?
 
2013-02-28 08:54:27 AM  

Znuh: No.


No.
 
2013-02-28 08:56:25 AM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: The story is also on io9 right now.

The most popular comment thread there is a bunch of people whining about the fact the spacefaring couple is expected to be "heteronormative".


Well, if he is sending two people and wants to send a man and a woman for equality reasons and believes that two people already in a long-term, close, emotional relationship would be more likely to survive the trip without killing each other, that doesn't really leave much room for relationships other than heterosexual ones, does it?
 
2013-02-28 08:58:12 AM  

rubi_con_man: If you're going to colonize a planet you need 4 males ages 25-32 and 16 females aged 16-22


Turns out that making a civilization work is going to take more than just reproduction.
 
2013-02-28 09:11:39 AM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Any Pie Left: Cthulu is my homeboy:  I would keep the power, engines, and support with the capsule, and leave deadweight mass and science gear as the counterweight, in case that tether snaps...

Doing it that way requires you to have a deadweight mass that weighs as much as the spacecraft itself, which is extremely wasteful when you're talking a billion dollars a pound.

It's much easier to just make the tether far stronger than it needs to be to support the weight of the mass at each end.


a billion dollars a pound?  I think you're pretty far off on that estimate.  Curiosity weighs apprx 2,000 lbs (this doesn't include the launch rocket, etc)  and the whole program cost $2.5 billion... all of which comes out to about $1.25 million / pound.

Also, regarding the tether... if it did snap, nothing else would matter.  You would careen off in the wrong direction and end up like skodabunny suggested.

skodabunny: mummified corpses

 
2013-02-28 09:29:36 AM  
I would do it in a heartbeat.  I'd love nothing more than to be on a deserted island (or in the middle of BFE-Montana) with my wife as it is.

What's up with all of you people being married to people you hate?
 
2013-02-28 09:34:08 AM  
Be certain that your wife will not attempt to kill you should you force her to go to Mars.


www.wearysloth.com

You know how much she hates that farking planet.
 
2013-02-28 09:57:07 AM  
Might be worth it if I can leave her there when I return to earth...
 
2013-02-28 10:31:41 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: Head_Shot: Other than the Mars thing...how is this any different than what were doing now?

Well, for one thing, the Earth is just a lifeless, dangerous mud ball, a rock, constantly threatened by species-destroying asteroids. Mars on the other hand, is a paradise, the Promised Land of the Space Nutter religion.
/I just hope the pack a 3D printer


You are a sad, bitter, obsessed little man, and I pity you.
 
2013-02-28 10:34:00 AM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: [i1194.photobucket.com image 800x600]
Artificial gravity. Because osteoporosis sucks.


You could go that route, but you don't have to. The ISS folks have figured out that 2 hours of exercise per day mitigates both muscle and bone loss.

I'm thinking a rotational period of 45 seconds would have me puking my guts out for 501 days (and I'm not prone to motion sickness). Your inner ear knows the difference. That's partly why they never added the spinning node to the ISS.
 
2013-02-28 10:45:02 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: Head_Shot: Other than the Mars thing...how is this any different than what were doing now?

Well, for one thing, the Earth is just a lifeless, dangerous mud ball, a rock, constantly threatened by species-destroying asteroids. Mars on the other hand, is a paradise, the Promised Land of the Space Nutter religion.
/I just hope the pack a 3D printer


How is it you never seem to show up in the threads about 3D printing habitats out of regolith on the moon. We missed you and your original perspective on the subject (much like we'd miss a flaming hemorrhoid). Come on man! When was the last time you asked someone how old an atom was? You are definitely off your game.
 
2013-02-28 11:12:50 AM  
Tyrone Slothrop

Sure, I'll go with my Canadian wife. You haven't met her, but she's really hot.

I think I met him at the White Party.
 
2013-02-28 11:57:10 AM  
Hell, I won't go on a two day road trip with my wife.

The last damn thing I need is 501 days of being told that I am not flying the right direction.
 
2013-02-28 12:02:06 PM  
If by "wife" you mean "Kate Beckinsale tied up and gagged with duct tape frantically shaking her head when I say she's my wife and she wants to spend the next 500 days in a tiny spaceship with me millions of miles away from help rescue civilisation" then count me in.

/How long does it take for the Stockholm Syndrome to kick in?
//Where can I buy duct tape cheap?
 
2013-02-28 12:10:11 PM  
After that much time the skeletal and muscular adjustments due to low gravity would mean you wouldn't be able to come back to earth.  After half a year in orbit and four hours a day of heavy exercise the risk of heart attack, stroke and bone breakage is severe.
 
2013-02-28 12:43:10 PM  

Treize26: This just makes me want to play Kerbal Space Program.  All they gotta to do make this work is attach some random solar panels to the thing, and make sure they get the staging right so they don't detach the fuel supply for the return voyage like happens every god damned time after hours and hours spent designing the rocket and running the mission. God damnit.

/gonna EVA those farkers and watch them de-orbit as penance for their (my)failure.


Dude. You need to learn the power of the quick save!
 
2013-02-28 01:06:55 PM  
Sure why not?  Think of all the bonding.  Would be fun.
 
2013-02-28 01:12:22 PM  
Urine and feces are processed in the thigh pads......
 
2013-02-28 01:27:57 PM  
We already work, live, and play together. Think we're going to try and sign up for this.
 
2013-02-28 02:00:55 PM  
Everyone is out with a snark here.  Me, I'd do it 100%.  Fark yeah!
 
2013-02-28 03:26:59 PM  

meanmutton: rubi_con_man: If you're going to colonize a planet you need 4 males ages 25-32 and 16 females aged 16-22

Turns out that making a civilization work is going to take more than just reproduction.




Well yoiu have math. How many times does 4 go into 16?
 
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