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(Daily Mail)   "Swimmer mauled to death by Great White Shark in front of hundreds of tourists on New Zealand beach as armed police opened fire on the animal at least 20 times." Sonofabiatch. Landshark   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 133
    More: Scary, New Zealand, law enforcement, great whites, New Zealand beach, tourists  
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14790 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2013 at 9:07 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-27 09:46:18 AM
Never get out of the boat...never get out of the boat...
 
2013-02-27 09:46:38 AM

BronyMedic: Clearly this means we must hunt all sharks to Extinction, right?

/maybe not a good idea to look like a seal from the Sharks' point of view.


Are you reading the comments section on that article?  People really think that!
 
2013-02-27 09:47:37 AM

WippitGuud: Anyway, we delivered the bomb.


Mary Ellen Moffat. She broke my heart.
 
2013-02-27 09:48:08 AM

TNel: That's why I will not swim in the ocean.  Humans are not apex predators once we step foot into the water, screw it the sharks can have the water.

I know the odds of getting attacked are slim to none but that guy probably thought the same thing before he became dinner.  Just need to get the kids terrified of sharks and then I won't ever have to go the beach again (other than lakes of course, and then only  waist deep... damn phobias)


Exactly this...
I've already got my 10 year old daughter worried about sharks.
Just make em watch Jaws, Deep Blue Sea, and The Reef.
She's vowed to never get in the ocean.
Woot!
 
2013-02-27 09:49:48 AM

gremlin1: When I was a child I spent the day at the beach with my family on the way home we stopped at the docks to pick up some lobster for dinner. A fishing boat had just unloaded a shark. Being a small child I asked my Dad "What is that?" he told me that it was a shark. I asked "Where did it come from?" he explained that it was caught just off the coast. That was the last time I went swimming in the ocean and that was long before Jaws. Thankfully we lived by a lake and only visited the ocean for 2 weeks every summer otherwise I probably would have had a total fear of the water.


I live in Prince Edward Island, Canada. The largest confirmed great white ever caught was just off our coast - 20.3 ft. And yet there has never been a shark sighting from land here, ever.
 
2013-02-27 09:50:22 AM
stevie1der: 
O sure, they're BFF's now, just wait until she gets a visit from her Aunt Flo.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but occult blood does not affect sharks.
 
2013-02-27 09:50:45 AM
www.autarch.co
 
2013-02-27 09:50:57 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
/oblig
 
2013-02-27 09:51:00 AM

Rawhead Rex: TNel: That's why I will not swim in the ocean.  Humans are not apex predators once we step foot into the water, screw it the sharks can have the water.

I know the odds of getting attacked are slim to none but that guy probably thought the same thing before he became dinner.  Just need to get the kids terrified of sharks and then I won't ever have to go the beach again (other than lakes of course, and then only  waist deep... damn phobias)

Exactly this...
I've already got my 10 year old daughter worried about sharks.
Just make em watch Jaws, Deep Blue Sea, and The Reef.
She's vowed to never get in the ocean.
Woot!


Solid parenting skills.
 
2013-02-27 09:51:46 AM
Jaws came out during a family vacation to Wilmington, N.C. Saw it through a crack between my fingers, except for the scene in which Quint is devoured...didn't watch that scene until I was in my 20s. Didn't get more than shin deep in the ocean during that vacation or any subsequent trips to the beach for a lonnnnnngggg time.
 
2013-02-27 09:52:05 AM
WippitGuud

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was comin' back, from the island of Tinian to Laytee, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know... was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh huh. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like ol' squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark comes to the nearest man and that man, he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces.

Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men! I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand! I don't know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin' chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, boson's mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He's a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper, anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.


That was one of the best scenes in the Muppet Movie.
 
2013-02-27 09:54:13 AM
People of New Zealand and Australia.... here's a suggestion.... build more swimming pools.
 
2013-02-27 09:54:15 AM

stevie1der: AverageAmericanGuy: If you gain their trust, great white sharks are actually quite docile.

Hell of a step one there though.


lol yeah besides great whites are solitary apex predators they have no need for the concept of "trust" and therefore probably never evolved one.
 
2013-02-27 09:56:53 AM

Plant Rights Activist: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x414]

that boat does not look nearly big enough


Are you saying they're gonna to need a bigger boat?
 
2013-02-27 09:58:26 AM

JelloBAfro: Never get out of the boat...never get out of the boat...



www.jonathanrosenbaum.com

Wrong movie, but that's damn right.
 
2013-02-27 10:00:34 AM
The guy is kind of a dumbass (I hope his family doesn't frequent Fark)

He was swimming 200 meters off shore doing an impersonation of a sea lion. If you are looking to get eaten by a large shark - that's the way to do it.
 
2013-02-27 10:01:59 AM
Does anyone know if they use special rounds when shooting at sharks? As seen on Mythbusters, shooting in to water is a pretty useless endeavor. I'd think harpoons would be needed to make any kind of rescue plausible
 
2013-02-27 10:04:21 AM
Wonder how many times they shot the swimmer.
 
2013-02-27 10:09:11 AM
Wow, those folks in New Zealand are REALLY working hard for the tourist dollar!  I missed the advertisement for THAT kind of entertainment!  The swimmer WAS a convict, right?
 
2013-02-27 10:10:05 AM
http://youtu.be/7EvkX7ewYQQ
 
2013-02-27 10:17:51 AM
If this had happened in America they would have shot the victim's dog instead....
 
2013-02-27 10:18:58 AM
My brother lives in muriwai, and his wife swims (or used to after this) there.
//getting a kick.
 
2013-02-27 10:20:36 AM
I tried to tell him it wouldn't make a good sunscreen lotion, but would he listen nooooooo

t3.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-27 10:21:30 AM

stevie1der: AverageAmericanGuy: If you gain their trust, great white sharks are actually quite docile.

Hell of a step one there though.


The only sharks that do this sort of thing are the ones that had bad owners.
 
2013-02-27 10:23:17 AM
Goodbye, funny-haired men...

www.glamrock.com
 
2013-02-27 10:34:30 AM
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
 
2013-02-27 10:36:17 AM
I hear a good well place kick or punch to the nose will most times scare the shark away even if it's a 16ft great white. I mean at that point what else have you got to loose?
 
2013-02-27 10:36:43 AM
Swimming with the sharks?  How about a hot girl swimming with the sharks, I like that!

i.imgur.com

And a video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okgOttEyl-Q
 
2013-02-27 10:37:46 AM

Bin_jammin: Actually, he's just a dolphin.


Really!?!  (Opens door)
 
2013-02-27 10:40:41 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: stevie1der: AverageAmericanGuy: If you gain their trust, great white sharks are actually quite docile.

Hell of a step one there though.

Doesn't seem so hard. Here's some chick swimming with a white.

[www.nydailynews.com image 635x338]


I wonder if the shark even knows that she's there... I'll wait to be impressed until she goes to the business end with a toothbrush and some floss.
 
2013-02-27 10:43:30 AM

SuperNinjaToad: I hear a good well place kick or punch to the nose will most times scare the shark away even if it's a 16ft great white. I mean at that point what else have you got to loose?


Good luck with that...

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-02-27 10:45:50 AM

Rawhead Rex: TNel: That's why I will not swim in the ocean.  Humans are not apex predators once we step foot into the water, screw it the sharks can have the water.

I know the odds of getting attacked are slim to none but that guy probably thought the same thing before he became dinner.  Just need to get the kids terrified of sharks and then I won't ever have to go the beach again (other than lakes of course, and then only  waist deep... damn phobias)

Exactly this...
I've already got my 10 year old daughter worried about sharks.
Just make em watch Jaws, Deep Blue Sea, and The Reef.
She's vowed to never get in the ocean.
Woot!


I think I am a worse parent than you.  I made my 3 kids (youngest was 4) watch "Fire In the Sky".. kept mentioning it was "based on a true story".  All 3 kids have had nightmares since .  For the past 25 years.
 
2013-02-27 10:46:07 AM
I wonder if the swimmer had previously eaten shark. Maybe it was personal.
 
2013-02-27 10:48:40 AM

madgonad: The guy is kind of a dumbass (I hope his family doesn't frequent Fark)

He was swimming 200 meters off shore doing an impersonation of a sea lion. If you are looking to get eaten by a large shark - that's the way to do it.


Yup..what the HELL are you doing in shark infested waters that far from shore?
It just screams, EAT MEEE!!!

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-27 10:50:34 AM
Screw swimming in salt water. I was at Virginia Beach back in the 60's, nice waves and fun body surfing. Lots of people in the water having a good time. I notice this boat similar to the Orca come in with a guy on the bowsprit holding a harpoon, it's only about 150 feet out. In front of the boat a largish fin comes up, brown with a white tip, the guy throws the harpoon and nails the shark. I don't know what kind of shark it was and I don't care. Haven't swum in saltwater since.
 
2013-02-27 10:56:54 AM

Dinobot: Two16: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x179]

Well, this was no boat accident.


i.dailymail.co.uk

Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, Fark. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
 
2013-02-27 11:00:49 AM
As much as I love marine life, then if there are sharks who have tasted human flesh, they need to be culled.

Oh, come on.  Is it really THAT delicious?
 
2013-02-27 11:05:21 AM
I hate to admit but I laughed when I scrolled down to the shark picture.

I swim in the ocean. Swam in it all my life. Will swim again. In the shark attack capital of the world.

That dude was way offshore in waters known for Great Whites. Had this happened off South Africa or Monterrey, I'd have the same thought. If it happened in New Jersey, I'd be surprised.
 
2013-02-27 11:08:24 AM

Sybarite: Adam Strange, 46, was attacked and pulled under water

I'm guessing he left his jetpack on the beach.


In his defense, he can't control where the Zeta Beam drops him.
 
2013-02-27 11:12:41 AM
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-02-27 11:13:14 AM
Time to call the seals I guess.
 
2013-02-27 11:16:22 AM
www.whithonea.com

Fark, I am disappoint.
 
2013-02-27 12:12:26 PM
Back in my younger days, would occasionally catch a buzz with the group, and going body surfing at night. Every once in a while, a moment of clarity would enter my brain, realizing I was the farthest one out, and I really can't see anything. The occasional something brushing against my leg didn't help. Then a nice set would roll in, and all was forgotten. Only Santa Monica Bay, can't remember any shark attacks there, but no way could I do that now.
 
2013-02-27 12:13:41 PM

cochlear: I think I am a worse parent than you.  I made my 3 kids (youngest was 4) watch "Fire In the Sky".. kept mentioning it was "based on a true story".  All 3 kids have had nightmares since .  For the past 25 years.


I watched Jaws with my parents when I was 4 and that's how I have my phobia of sharks.  It's bad, I used to get spooked when I was at the pool in the deep end.  Now I'm better with the pool but any lake means nothing more than waist deep without deep breathing.

To someone that posted about Piranhas... those don't attack humans like that.  Watch the Penn and Teller one where he was swimming in a tank full of them.
 
2013-02-27 12:22:40 PM
Yeah, fark that. I'll go in the ocean, but I'll make sure there is someone out farther out that I am, and more tasty looking. Once you get into water more than shoulder deep... we drop way too many notches on the food chain than I'm comfortable with.
 
2013-02-27 12:27:18 PM
Holy farking hell that's scary. Even if that only happens once a decade (or less often), well, holy farking hell!
 
2013-02-27 12:29:10 PM
Older shark wanted him off his ocean.
 
2013-02-27 12:36:10 PM

H31N0US: I swim in the ocean. Swam in it all my life. Will swim again. In the shark attack capital of the world.


Me, too.  Have you moved, though, or do you visit often?
 
2013-02-27 01:11:37 PM
 
2013-02-27 02:23:57 PM

ten foiled hats: H31N0US: I swim in the ocean. Swam in it all my life. Will swim again. In the shark attack capital of the world.

Me, too.  Have you moved, though, or do you visit often?


tell darwin I said hello when you see him.
 
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