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(Honolulu Civil Beat)   And this is why chickens can't fly (Link updated)   (hawaii.news.blogs.civilbeat.com) divider line 43
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7797 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2013 at 10:56 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-27 09:20:53 AM
A chicken got into a Maui Electric Co. transformer

www.tmiasuperhero.com
 
2013-02-27 09:22:14 AM
www.myfilipinofoodrecipes.com
 
2013-02-27 09:38:20 AM
Great Mambo chickens can fly...sort of.
 
2013-02-27 10:06:35 AM
Should have dropped it from a helicopter.
 
2013-02-27 10:39:57 AM
Just wait until after CPAC -- they won't even be able to *walk*
 
2013-02-27 10:58:03 AM
Give me a bottle of Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce and I'll have that all cleaned up for you in no time.
 
2013-02-27 10:58:08 AM
Chickens fly just long enough to create a problem - usually for themselves.
 
2013-02-27 10:59:47 AM
As God is my witness, I thought chickens could fry.
 
2013-02-27 11:01:40 AM
But they can fry. MMmm, tasty. :D
 
2013-02-27 11:05:24 AM
This article seems to be ignoring the most pressing question of all: Why did the chicken cross the tarmac?
 
2013-02-27 11:05:25 AM

DROxINxTHExWIND: Give me a bottle of Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce and I'll have that all cleaned up for you in no time.


Have you tried their Chipotle?
I think it's better on pork than chicken, but it's still delicious.
 
2013-02-27 11:05:32 AM
The real reason why chickens don't fly

Passenger (whispers):  Stewardess, there's a chicken in that seat that's not restrained in a chicken carrier box. I think she's a security threat and besides, she smells like chicken guano.
Stewardess: I'll call the Sky Marshal.
Passenger: Can I have her deep-fried?
Stewardess: We don't have a deep-fryer in the gallery for safety reasons, but I can have her microwaved like the rest of the crap we serve on this flight. Of course, you'll have to share with the other passengers in rows P, Q, and R.
 
2013-02-27 11:05:51 AM

DROxINxTHExWIND: Give me a bottle of Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce and I'll have that all cleaned up for you in no time.


I didn't know that was a national brand. It's one of my favorites: nice and thick and dark brown and not too sweet.

/Remember, I'm talking about barbecue sauce
 
2013-02-27 11:06:13 AM

Canton: This article seems to be ignoring the most pressing question of all: Why did the chicken cross the tarmac?


To catch the 4:15 to O'Hare, of course.
 
2013-02-27 11:07:19 AM

give me doughnuts: DROxINxTHExWIND: Give me a bottle of Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce and I'll have that all cleaned up for you in no time.

Have you tried their Chipotle?
I think it's better on pork than chicken, but it's still delicious.


Wow, I haven't seen that flavor. Sounds great!
 
2013-02-27 11:10:07 AM
There's a good Terry Pratchett short story, outside of the Discworld series, about chickens that get stuck on a highway median because they can't fly. But they don't let that stop them from trying. Look it up--you can read it free on the web. I also have it in an anthology of stories about sorcery, and in Pratchett's recent collection Blink of the Screen which collects the short stories he wrote for various publications, hitherto only available on the web.

It's based on a true story. The accident, that is--the escape of the chickens from the highway is pure fantasy in Pratchett's inimitable* comic style.

*Not really inimitable. More unequalled. Anybody can imitate it after reading forty or fifty of his novels.
 
2013-02-27 11:11:37 AM
When chickens are young some of them can fly pretty well.

sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net

Once they get older and bulk up, not so much.

sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-02-27 11:12:38 AM

show me: DROxINxTHExWIND: Give me a bottle of Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce and I'll have that all cleaned up for you in no time.

I didn't know that was a national brand. It's one of my favorites: nice and thick and dark brown and not too sweet.

/Remember, I'm talking about barbecue sauce


Are you sure? Lol. Yeah, I don't know if it's a national brand, but I know we have it on the East Coast. I can get it in DC or in Georgia, where my dad lives.
 
2013-02-27 11:13:31 AM

give me doughnuts: DROxINxTHExWIND: Give me a bottle of Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce and I'll have that all cleaned up for you in no time.

Have you tried their Chipotle?
I think it's better on pork than chicken, but it's still delicious.


I will be looking for it tonight!
 
2013-02-27 11:14:22 AM
Domestic chickens can fly, but they are weak fliers as they are descended from Indian jungle fowl that rarely have to fly very far from perch to perch. They have also lost much of their power of flight to being bred for plumpness and egg production rather than as lean, mean, flying machines.

Domestic urkeys have been so overbred that they can not fly, although wild turkeys can fly. Turkeys are the muscle bound idiots of the barn yard.

I imagine that fighting cocks can fly because they are lean, mean, fighting machines, but mostly they use their wings to menace and distract while they jump and kick with their spurs. If you have ever seen a cock-fight, you have a good idea of how small dinosaurs used their feathers and wings before they developed into birds.
 
2013-02-27 11:14:24 AM

DROxINxTHExWIND: show me: DROxINxTHExWIND: Give me a bottle of Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce and I'll have that all cleaned up for you in no time.

I didn't know that was a national brand. It's one of my favorites: nice and thick and dark brown and not too sweet.

/Remember, I'm talking about barbecue sauce

Are you sure? Lol. Yeah, I don't know if it's a national brand, but I know we have it on the East Coast. I can get it in DC or in Georgia, where my dad lives.


We've got it in all the regular supermarkets in Arizona.
 
2013-02-27 11:24:38 AM
The main reason why chickens can not fly is that most of them are locked in tiny boxes barely bigger than they are and fed massive amounts of drugs to keep them from dying from their injuries or stress. Or else they are packed into chicken runs so tightly that even a duck or goose would not have enough room for a take-off run.

This is sad, but the cost of the mass production of cheap meat and eggs. If you are willing to pay two or three times as much, you can always buy "free range" or "organic" chicken and eggs, but even the conditions legislated for "free range" are not quite the romantic freedom of the old time free range chicken, who might lay her eggs in a place where the farmer's wife couldn't get them and who would be serviced by a rooster who would also serve as a protector from small vermin.

And if some Creationist wants to ask why, if chickens are descended from jungle fowl, why there are still jungle fowl, you can just tell them that not all of the jungle fowl were tamed and turned into domestic chickens by breeders. It's obvious that jungle fowl are chickens. You can tell at a glance. But they are much thinner and healthier birds, with beautiful plumage.

The ease with which wild birds and animals are bred into fanciful shapes, sizes and plumage or coloration was one of the inspiration of Charles Darwin. Pigeon fanciers proved, for example, that if you cross fancy breeds of pigeon back together again, you end up with the common Rock Pigeon. All of the races or varities of pigeon are descended from the wild species that used to nest on cliffs and now nests on building ledges.

By the way, you never see a baby pigeon because they stay hidden away in the nest until they are fully fledged and look like smaller versions of their parents. Sometimes a baby pigeon will die and be pushed out of the nest onto the sidewalk but they don't last long. Rats will have eaten them by nightfall, if not sooner.

The only part of the pigeon a rat does not eat is the wings, which are still stuck together by bones. I have seen a dead pigeon on the mall, only to pass the same place again about ten or twenty minutes later, to find only the wings held together by ligaments and bones.

That's a little urban biological science for you.
 
2013-02-27 11:40:47 AM

JesseL: When chickens are young some of them can fly pretty well.

[sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 425x320]

Once they get older and bulk up, not so much.

[sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 256x320]


Nice Faverolles.  That's what they are, right?

I had what were called "jungle fowl" by the guy we got them from, but I knew he used to fight them.  They were gorgeous birds and could fly well enough to get 20ft into trees.  A dog spooked our rooster and he flew about 200-250 feet, but not very high and only as a distraction from his flock.  They were true free-range birds, and only seemed slightly domesticated compared to the birds I have now.

CSB: Our rooster, Bill, came to us pecked and featherless in places because there were too many roosters.  He came to live with us as the only rooster for 15 hens and quickly blossomed into a full-feathered, gorgeous and very protective bird.  Our birds had a large barn with attached outdoor run for when we weren't home (they got free run of the place every evening and weekends and all summer long otherwise), and somehow a Red-tailed hawk got into it while us kids were at school.  I have no idea how long he was in there, but it was long enough for Bill to have stripped all the feathers from his breast and bloodied him pretty well.  None of the hens were injured, and if Bill was, we couldn't tell.  When we opened the door to the run, the hawk took off and we never saw him again.
/end csb
 
2013-02-27 11:51:30 AM
Hoo brah, I membah one time dis chicken wen climb into my cousin lectric box, ah? Lass yeah my sistah-in-law say she get one air conditioner stay on back poch cuz no more need since dey got da kine central air. So why she not take to cousin Becky's house for cool down da baby's room. Ok so Lenny, my cousin, break da lectric box covah when he add breakah for a/c. We guess too rusty since da back yard get ocean breeze like 24/7, malakini style. So anyway Lenny no fix box for like four months, den sure kine ting dis buggah wen cross da wires li'dat. He stay sizzling fo like twenny minutes before we start getting stomach growl and everyone come pololi wit da good smell. Den Lenny walk out back and see dis chicken wen start cooking on da big wires at da top da box. Just when he walk up an see da chicken, da grease wen drop onto nodda breakah li'dat and den dis lectric box go BOOM and one transformer on neighbor light pole wen blow spocks. So den no more da powah but eh we get good chicken dinnah. An da moral of da story is no put covah on lectric box, and maybe you get free chicken dinnah.
 
2013-02-27 11:52:55 AM

brantgoose: Domestic chickens can fly, but they are weak fliers as they are descended from Indian jungle fowl that rarely have to fly very far from perch to perch. They have also lost much of their power of flight to being bred for plumpness and egg production rather than as lean, mean, flying machines.

Domestic urkeys have been so overbred that they can not fly, although wild turkeys can fly. Turkeys are the muscle bound idiots of the barn yard.

I imagine that fighting cocks can fly because they are lean, mean, fighting machines, but mostly they use their wings to menace and distract while they jump and kick with their spurs. If you have ever seen a cock-fight, you have a good idea of how small dinosaurs used their feathers and wings before they developed into birds.


As with just about any domestic species, it really varies by breed. Bantam chickens can be quite good at flying. They're not exactly barn swallows, but some of them can go a good distance. When I was a kid, we had one white crested black Polish rooster who'd literally fly around one of the barns (and not a small barn) as the border collie chased him. We had visions of entering the bird into the county 4-H Fair's chicken flying contest, but something happened to him before we could. (I think it was a raccoon. Flying just wasn't enough, apparently.)

Bantam chickens tended to do well in that contest, which consisted of placing the birds into an open-ended mailbox, and nudging them out with a toilet plunger. A small team of adults would measure the distance the chickens flew, and catch them again. Fat laying hens did not go far. Bantams could fly the length of the pavilion and then some.

It's the same way with domestic turkeys. Heritage breeds -- not the broad-breasted white and bronze birds -- are leaner, and certainly capable of flight. I once had a rare breed cross who literally flew the coop. Never saw her again. I just hope she found a wild flock to live with. She would have blended right in. (Her sexually frustrated partner stuck around. No idea whether he could fly. He was more interested in prancing around, hitting on my mom, and chasing the neighbor kids in their own driveway.)

/CSS
 
2013-02-27 11:59:38 AM
meh...

media.247sports.com
 
2013-02-27 12:02:13 PM

It's a Lazer Beam: Nice Faverolles. That's what they are, right?


The feed store had them as Americuanas, but I'd say they were just Easter Eggers. Whatever the breed they were a really sweet bunch as you can see.

We had bought 5 chicks, supposedly pullets, but two turned out to be roosters and we had to give them away when they started crowing. Then a coyote killed two of the hens, leaving us with just one bird (the one in the second pic). We ordered a few more "Americuanas" to replace them, and ended up with Rhode Island Reds instead. They're great layers, but they're ornery and not nearly so lovable as that first bunch.

It's a Lazer Beam: /end csb


Very CSB indeed!
 
2013-02-27 12:08:48 PM
Why is a 27 minute power outage news simply because of where when and how it happened?
 
2013-02-27 12:12:51 PM

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Why is a 27 minute power outage news simply because of where when and how it happened?


laughingsquid.com
 
2013-02-27 12:13:16 PM

JesseL: It's a Lazer Beam: Nice Faverolles. That's what they are, right?

The feed store had them as Americuanas, but I'd say they were just Easter Eggers. Whatever the breed they were a really sweet bunch as you can see.

We had bought 5 chicks, supposedly pullets, but two turned out to be roosters and we had to give them away when they started crowing. Then a coyote killed two of the hens, leaving us with just one bird (the one in the second pic). We ordered a few more "Americuanas" to replace them, and ended up with Rhode Island Reds instead. They're great layers, but they're ornery and not nearly so lovable as that first bunch.

It's a Lazer Beam: /end csb

Very CSB indeed!


I wound up with 2 Rhode Island Red  roosters that I had to give away. I put them up on craigslist and some guy named Jaun was happy to take them. Now I have 4 very sweet Black Jersey Giants. Friendly and good layers. The RIR roosters were very aggressive.
 
2013-02-27 12:26:26 PM
Seriously, this guy can do some damage..

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-27 12:36:49 PM

killiemary: I wound up with 2 Rhode Island Red roosters that I had to give away. I put them up on craigslist and some guy named Jaun was happy to take them. Now I have 4 very sweet Black Jersey Giants. Friendly and good layers. The RIR roosters were very aggressive.


It's amazing how fast a free rooster goes on Craigslist, even if you specify that they're absolutely not for eating.

I like what I'm reading about Jersey Giants - not sure if they'd be able to squeeze into the roost of our henhouse though.
 
2013-02-27 12:45:27 PM

Stephen_Falken: Hoo brah, I membah one time dis chicken wen climb into my cousin lectric box, ah? Lass yeah my sistah-in-law say she get one air conditioner stay on back poch cuz no more need since dey got da kine central air. So why she not take to cousin Becky's house for cool down da baby's room. Ok so Lenny, my cousin, break da lectric box covah when he add breakah for a/c. We guess too rusty since da back yard get ocean breeze like 24/7, malakini style. So anyway Lenny no fix box for like four months, den sure kine ting dis buggah wen cross da wires li'dat. He stay sizzling fo like twenny minutes before we start getting stomach growl and everyone come pololi wit da good smell. Den Lenny walk out back and see dis chicken wen start cooking on da big wires at da top da box. Just when he walk up an see da chicken, da grease wen drop onto nodda breakah li'dat and den dis lectric box go BOOM and one transformer on neighbor light pole wen blow spocks. So den no more da powah but eh we get good chicken dinnah. An da moral of da story is no put covah on lectric box, and maybe you get free chicken dinnah.



It's funnier if you read it in Dan Aykroyd's fake accent from "Trading Places."
 
2013-02-27 12:47:15 PM

killiemary: The RIR roosters were very aggressive.


Especially when they've been signing "Freddy the Freshman."
 
2013-02-27 01:22:37 PM
Begs to differ
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-27 01:30:33 PM
Let's hope this isn't the start of Ultra Mega Chicken!

t.qkme.me
 
2013-02-27 01:43:44 PM
"...that left some passengers having to disembark their planes the old way -- by mobile stairway."

www.ninjachickengear.com
 
2013-02-27 01:59:45 PM
Meh, link already farked.
"PAGE NOT FOUND! "
 
2013-02-27 04:00:12 PM
this thread is relavant to my interests.........
chickens eat alot during winter. more than I thought. They get a lot of food from free ranging during weather with no snow on the ground and when they are penned up for the snowy time, darn food bill goes way up. I need to convince the wife to cut back on the "pets" before next november.
 
2013-02-27 05:20:24 PM
Kahalui airport used to be my favorite place to fly on all the islands. I once bivouacked on the beach there for a month. I dunno if they're still available, but I highly recommend the Satellite Sundae from the airport restaurant. We used to fly from Oahu once a week on pilot's check flights, just to get one.
 
2013-02-27 07:43:18 PM
Airport power outage, you say?
reveriehound.com

/On second thought, I'll have the fish.
 
2013-02-27 10:19:34 PM

Stephen_Falken: Hoo brah, I membah one time dis chicken wen climb into my cousin lectric box, ah? Lass yeah my sistah-in-law say she get one air conditioner stay on back poch cuz no more need since dey got da kine central air. So why she not take to cousin Becky's house for cool down da baby's room. Ok so Lenny, my cousin, break da lectric box covah when he add breakah for a/c. We guess too rusty since da back yard get ocean breeze like 24/7, malakini style. So anyway Lenny no fix box for like four months, den sure kine ting dis buggah wen cross da wires li'dat. He stay sizzling fo like twenny minutes before we start getting stomach growl and everyone come pololi wit da good smell. Den Lenny walk out back and see dis chicken wen start cooking on da big wires at da top da box. Just when he walk up an see da chicken, da grease wen drop onto nodda breakah li'dat and den dis lectric box go BOOM and one transformer on neighbor light pole wen blow spocks. So den no more da powah but eh we get good chicken dinnah. An da moral of da story is no put covah on lectric box, and maybe you get free chicken dinnah.


I don' want beef wit' lectric company buggah, so covah stay on an' we eat poke.
 
2013-02-28 08:47:18 AM
Oh the humanity.
 
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