FARK.com: (7614670) Father angry about his precious snowflakes not getting enough playing time on the high school basketball team goes full helicopter

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		Father angry about his precious snowflakes not getting enough playing time on the high school basketball team goes full helicopter (barstoolsports.com)		66
		More: Asinine, Mike Hvizdo, Miranda Cosgrove

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15433 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2013 at 1:16 AM | Favorite | share:

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Acharne		2013-02-27 01:21:50 AM

Never go full dueche.

doglover		2013-02-27 01:25:54 AM

In ancient Athens, someone could potentially be voted into exile for a decade once a year. If they got 6000 votes against them from the people of Athens, away they were sent.

I vote we bring back the practice. If the community doesn't like you, away you go.

rkane1		2013-02-27 01:27:06 AM

When that kid makes it to the adult world he will be mushed into a pulp...or pulped into mush...but definitely one or the other.

cyberspacedout		2013-02-27 01:27:30 AM

Wait a minute there... a helicopter... on a basketball team... GENIUS.

ReverendJasen		2013-02-27 01:30:27 AM

rkane1: When that kid makes it to the adult world he will be mushed into a pulp...or pulped into mush...but definitely one or the other.

Adulthood? This dueche's kids are getting beat up now, because his wittle pumpkins needed coach fired.

HotWingAgenda		2013-02-27 01:36:24 AM

doglover: In ancient Athens, someone could potentially be voted into exile for a decade once a year. If they got 6000 votes against them from the people of Athens, away they were sent.

I vote we bring back the practice. If the community doesn't like you, away you go.

Wouldn't that just split America in half? The reasonable half and the crazy half would each vote the other out, and we'd just have Civil War II. And then the Canuckistanis would descend on the resulting power vacuum.

albatros183		2013-02-27 01:37:23 AM

Blue Thunder or AirWolf?

Mithiwithi		2013-02-27 01:40:18 AM

HotWingAgenda: doglover: In ancient Athens, someone could potentially be voted into exile for a decade once a year. If they got 6000 votes against them from the people of Athens, away they were sent.

I vote we bring back the practice. If the community doesn't like you, away you go.

Wouldn't that just split America in half? The reasonable half and the crazy half would each vote the other out, and we'd just have Civil War II. And then the Canuckistanis would descend on the resulting power vacuum.

Apart from the mass slaughter, famine, disease, and other suffering inherent in a civil war, I'm not seeing the downside.

Fano		2013-02-27 01:40:42 AM

Asher is a name that only douchebags have

FormlessOne		2013-02-27 01:42:52 AM

rkane1: When that kid makes it to the adult world he will be mushed into a pulp...or pulped into mush...but definitely one or the other.

Doubtful. With parents like that, that kid won't make it to "the real world." He'll instead make it to a sandbox, carefully walled in by contacts, palm greasing, and intimidation, cushioned until he, himself, becomes a douche with a small child. He will then perpetuate the practice for his kid, because that's how you're supposed to do it (as far as he knows.) If & when he makes it to "the real world", he will then manufacture a disaster that he can't escape through money, bullying, bluster, or connections - he will become confused, demoralized, and withdrawn, a shame to his entire family line.

He's Dubya.

Harry_Seldon		2013-02-27 01:47:31 AM

albatros183: Blue Thunder or AirWolf?

Neither...

drinkingmadeeasy.com

jaytkay		2013-02-27 01:50:13 AM

Dear Barstool Sports,

Your blog sucks

Twitch Boy		2013-02-27 01:55:46 AM

I have a feeling that father is going to shoot himself in the back of the head ten times.

iheartscotch		2013-02-27 01:56:25 AM

Mithiwithi: HotWingAgenda: doglover: In ancient Athens, someone could potentially be voted into exile for a decade once a year. If they got 6000 votes against them from the people of Athens, away they were sent.

I vote we bring back the practice. If the community doesn't like you, away you go.

Wouldn't that just split America in half? The reasonable half and the crazy half would each vote the other out, and we'd just have Civil War II. And then the Canuckistanis would descend on the resulting power vacuum.

Apart from the mass slaughter, famine, disease, and other suffering inherent in a civil war, I'm not seeing the downside.

Too bad one side abhorres violence. They can't STAND so much as one casualty on either side. Even if their opponents deserve it. Compassion is their weakness.

While the other side; the other side will do what's needed to win.

/ too bad too, I was hoping for a good civil war

// surely, you can't think I'm serious

doglover		2013-02-27 02:01:34 AM

HotWingAgenda: Wouldn't that just split America in half?

One person per township per year?

Math don't add up.

Dr.Zom		2013-02-27 02:07:44 AM

Well, he's got Joey Pants on his side, so he's got that going for him. Which is nice.

iheartscotch		2013-02-27 02:08:31 AM

doglover: HotWingAgenda: Wouldn't that just split America in half?

One person per township per year?

Math don't add up.

Any person? The politicians wouldn't last very long. I imagine a certain politician would grace many of the lists of the outcasts.

RatMaster999		2013-02-27 02:09:18 AM

Can Anonymous get the father fired?

albatros183		2013-02-27 02:09:23 AM

Wow Fark is really failing, post into black holes, threads the same not doing well Fark

toejam		2013-02-27 02:16:02 AM

albatros183: Wow Fark is really failing, post into black holes, threads the same not doing well Fark

dafuq?

Dr.Zom		2013-02-27 02:16:21 AM

RatMaster999: Can Anonymous get the father fired?

Anonymous should do a little digging on superintendent Colleen Palmer, human resources director Lewis Brey, athletic director Mark Berkowitz, and principal Lisa Wolak, all named in the article. If starring in an R-rated comedy is enough to get you fired then back taxes, failure to pay child support, a DUI or any other myriad of sins is fair game for them to lose their jobs,. The might regret setting the bar so low.

grimlock1972		2013-02-27 02:18:13 AM

the father/parents are douchebags.

rfenster		2013-02-27 02:20:37 AM

From the top comments on the article:

by superdefjeff on February 26, 2013 at 5:34 pm

Sucks that these parents couldn't just use the internet, or that they are such mooseknuckles that named their kids Ethan and Asher or that their last names are both their parents names hyphenated. You can find a lot out on the internet. For example, anyone can email the AD that fired him at markberkowitzspnotseworg. You can also find out that these parents paid $565,000 for their house and were sued by MasterCard in 2010. Hope they didn't write that PI a check!

TommyymmoT		2013-02-27 02:21:53 AM

RUN THE PICKET FENCE!

Dafatone		2013-02-27 02:28:33 AM

FormlessOne: rkane1: When that kid makes it to the adult world he will be mushed into a pulp...or pulped into mush...but definitely one or the other.

Doubtful. With parents like that, that kid won't make it to "the real world." He'll instead make it to a sandbox, carefully walled in by contacts, palm greasing, and intimidation, cushioned until he, himself, becomes a douche with a small child. He will then perpetuate the practice for his kid, because that's how you're supposed to do it (as far as he knows.) If & when he makes it to "the real world", he will then manufacture a disaster that he can't escape through money, bullying, bluster, or connections - he will become confused, demoralized, and withdrawn, a shame to his entire family line.

He's Dubya.

DRTFA, so maybe I'm wrong, but are we sure he's like that? Maybe his dad's an asshole, and he's just ashamed about the whole thing, wishing his dad would back off.

megarian		2013-02-27 02:31:11 AM

toejam: albatros183: Wow Fark is really failing, post into black holes, threads the same not doing well Fark

dafuq?

(The mobile site is pretty useless in regards to findig the relevant article...I think that might be what he was getting at.)

doglover		2013-02-27 02:50:25 AM

iheartscotch: Any person? The politicians wouldn't last very long.

Don't be so sure.

6000 was based on the then population of Athens, not some magical number ex recto. Even the most hated politicians by one group are often beloved of another. Not to mention you have to vote for someone in your township. Even when I lived a stone's throw from Santorum's mother back in PA, he was never residing in the same township as me. It's a decent system and, with some basic rules and limitations, it could work in the US.

I also want to bring back judicial duels. Not for justice, but expedience. You're mad at me, I'm mad at you, let's kick the shysters to the curb and just have a good old fashioned sword fight. Much more decent way of life.

BarkingUnicorn		2013-02-27 03:01:42 AM

Dad learned from the cases of porn stars turned teachers.

Hm. Coach Mike also played a "gay newlywed" in the hit film "The Naked Brothers Band"

NTTAWWT

belhade		2013-02-27 03:04:25 AM

I wonder what the kid thinks of all this. Either he's a sniveling brat who made his dad get coach fired, or he's a decent, if clumsy, kid who is embarrassed and ashamed of these shenanigans by the folks who are supposed to be providing good examples. I would hope that if I ever did anything so monumentally asinine for my own kids, that they would call me an asshole then go off to live with their aunt and uncle.

mediablitz		2013-02-27 03:05:05 AM

I KNEW we could get a "precious snowflake" in tonight.

Thanks for not letting me down, Fark "same ole same ole" brigade!

Great Porn Dragon		2013-02-27 03:17:21 AM

doglover: I also want to bring back judicial duels. Not for justice, but expedience. You're mad at me, I'm mad at you, let's kick the shysters to the curb and just have a good old fashioned sword fight. Much more decent way of life.

Good farking luck finding anyone eligible to run as an actual judge (or politician) in Kentucky then :D

(We're actually one of the few states--maybe the only one left along with Mississippi and Alabama at this rate--that actually has a prohibition in its state Constitution against anyone holding office who has ever fought in a duel. Yes, pretty much anyone running for public office here (from Agriculture Extension leader to the governor) has to actually swear in public that they have never fought in a duel. Yes, the state in general finds this a bit of a hilarious eccentricity.)

/and frankly if the kid didn't agree to this, he's probably wondering about the legal process of divorcing one's parents

SouthParkCon		2013-02-27 03:18:06 AM

Ok so am I the only one who got a good laugh watching the "Fat Chick Beast Mode" video clip halfway down the page?

debug		2013-02-27 03:20:03 AM

So is his kid the retard from the story on the Sports tab?

blottoman		2013-02-27 03:20:41 AM

megarian: toejam: albatros183: Wow Fark is really failing, post into black holes, threads the same not doing well Fark

dafuq?

(The mobile site is pretty useless in regards to findig the relevant article...I think that might be what he was getting at.)

His brother is a wrestler.

crabsno termites		2013-02-27 03:22:45 AM

One of the first things I taught my children: "The world is full of assholes; don't be one."

StatelyGreekAutomaton		2013-02-27 03:37:54 AM

RatMaster999		2013-02-27 04:21:32 AM

doglover: I also want to bring back judicial duels. Not for justice, but expedience. You're mad at me, I'm mad at you, let's kick the shysters to the curb and just have a good old fashioned sword fight. Much more decent way of life.

I could work with this. No, really. I could be a professional second, or maybe even get paid to fight as a stand-in. I'm liking this idea.

Slartibartfaster		2013-02-27 05:44:57 AM

doglover: I vote we bring back the practice. If the community doesn't like you, away you go

I dont think you have thought your brilliant plan all the way through

There were many problems with greek democracy (any woman who reads about it should agree, as would anyone renting their abode)
There are many problems with the US delusion of a representative republic.
The "democratic" republic of north Korea is another immediate example

"democracyistheworstformof government, except for allthe others "
- author is debatable, Ill give tentative credit to a british war criminal

cajunns		2013-02-27 05:52:40 AM

SevenizGud		2013-02-27 06:11:07 AM

If I am the new coach, that kid never sees the floor again, except with 1.4 seconds left in games with a point differential of 10 or more.

1.4 seconds left, and score is 59-42...go knock 'em dead, douche junior.

/there is obviously more to this story

thegod082		2013-02-27 06:22:11 AM

Slartibartfaster: "democracyistheworstformof government, except for allthe others "
- author is debatable, Ill give tentative credit to a british war criminal

albatros183: Wow Fark is really failing, post into black holes, threads the same not doing well Fark

Between TFA and these two posts, I'm really curious if I'm having a stroke that makes me unable to read what are, in reality, perfectly normal statements.

Onkel Buck		2013-02-27 07:22:33 AM

Really? The kid was going to get a trophy whether he played or not and thats what really matters

DaWormyPimpsta		2013-02-27 07:50:02 AM

Screw English. Our national language has become "asshole" in which most of us are fluent.

rvesco		2013-02-27 08:24:16 AM

albatros183: Wow Fark is really failing, post into black holes, threads the same not doing well Fark

Harried fellows yell sometimes because noodles eat their intelligent ear warmers

BMFPitt		2013-02-27 08:40:56 AM

So beyond the dad being an asshat, fark the school board for firing the coach. He did nothing wrong.

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros		2013-02-27 08:53:29 AM

SevenizGud: If I am the new coach, that kid never sees the floor again, except with 1.4 seconds left in games with a point differential of 10 or more.

1.4 seconds left, and score is 59-42...go knock 'em dead, douche junior.

Put him in the last game with about two minutes left. Run every play for him, whether he's open or not. Nobody else shoots.

Then give an interview about how you got your developmentally-delayed manager on the court for his big moment.

johobe		2013-02-27 08:57:29 AM

Not that it makes any difference at all, but they have coined a new phrase for such parents. Rather than calling them helicopter parents, they now call them snowplow parents. Evidently, they don't just hover anymore, they now bulldoze away any obstacles in the pathway of their children.

knysnafm.co.za

Hey, MY kid is walkin' here!!

hej		2013-02-27 08:59:41 AM

doglover: In ancient Athens, someone could potentially be voted into exile for a decade once a year. If they got 6000 votes against them from the people of Athens, away they were sent.

I vote we bring back the practice. If the community doesn't like you, away you go.

Yes, there's no way that would be used to treat minorities unfairly.

Also, from the same site :
http://www.barstoolsports.com/m/boston/super-page/encore-blog-miss-te e n-delaware-2013-resigns-after-sex-tape-emerges/

Jake Havechek		2013-02-27 09:08:30 AM

Next they will sue farmers for high water content in their corn.

stonicus		2013-02-27 09:16:38 AM

I like the idea of digging up dirt on Dad of the Year there and sending it to his boss.

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