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(CNN)   The latest dumb way Americans are wasting money: Paying someone to collect freshly-delivered mail from their mailbox, haul it back to an office, scan it, and e-mail it back to them. Yeah, really   (cnn.com ) divider line 17
    More: Asinine, snail mail, Americans, U.S. Postal Inspection Service  
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5298 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2013 at 11:31 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-26 06:55:30 PM  
14 votes:
This has to be the epitome of laziness.

Also, FTA:

"The idea is that for $4.99 a month, someone can make their pesky physical mail disappear (assuming they can resist the urge to peek in their mailbox between pickups)."

Pffft...Who the hell would pay five bucks a month for someone else to organize stuff on a computer that they can already get for free with a little effort?

hostmypicture.com

Oh...Yeah. Never mind.
2013-02-26 09:48:48 PM  
11 votes:
The USPS has released a statement saying that they're panning on offering a competing services, one where they collect all your emails, blog and forum posts that you follow, tweets, Facebook updates, and other e-communications, print them out, and mail them to you in a daily newsletter.
2013-02-26 07:42:48 PM  
4 votes:
99% of what I get is junk mail. Here's my chance to have it converted into spam instead.
2013-02-26 11:45:54 PM  
3 votes:
dilbert.com
2013-02-27 02:41:21 PM  
1 vote:
These people are suckers. I pay a Cambodian midget $3.27 per month to tackle the postal carrier, forcibly wrest my mail from his dirty clutches, and then hoof it back to his tiny house down the street, where he hands it off to his 5'11" Swedish wife. She opens it, takes photographs of each page with a 1965 Kodak Instamatic, develops the film herself, and then puts them all in a large manila envelope. Her husband then hotfoots it back to my place with the envelope and slides it under the door (because I can't stand looking at him. He's rather ugly.) where my heavily-modified Aibo robotic dog can retrieve it for me. It's all very convenient.

And if I determine from the photo packet that I would actually like one of the original piece of mail, I pull a cord which rings a bell near the Cambodian midget's house. He responds by hustling back to my place, where I will have slid a photo of the mail I would like under the door. He then skedaddles back to his house where he instructs his wife to locate the requested mail. She wraps it in three sheets of industrial mylar, which she kisses while wearing "fire brick red" lipstick. The Cambodian then scampers back to my place and uses the secret knock. I open the door a crack and stick a manikin arm through the opening. He places the mail on the manikin's hand, I pull it in and shut the door, and he goes to the corner pub to get drunk.

See? It's all so simple.
2013-02-27 07:56:56 AM  
1 vote:
Then when I get it I just print it out and read? Ta Da.
2013-02-27 07:42:09 AM  
1 vote:

Ima4nic8or: You know what I would pay $5/month for?  A real goddamn mailbox. One mailbox, in my yard, dedicated to my house only.  That is the way it was until I moved away from home.  Then I sadly discovered that the vast majority of neighborhoods now have these communist communal mailboxes that are placed something like one per block.  I have so far been unable to escape them in any house I have owned.  Even most of the older neighborhoods have been converted. Its bs, especially given what a stamp costs nowadays.


move out of the trailer park
2013-02-27 12:42:11 AM  
1 vote:
I just let the meth heads steal it, they have a decent system going.
2013-02-27 12:03:10 AM  
1 vote:
For only $30/hr I will follow you around all day, take down all your conversations and everything you do, and post it all in an hourly blog or as Facebook updates.

For an extra $500/wk I can rewrite it as fanfic. Buffy, Star Trek, Sex and the City, whatever you want.

/no not really
//but you can use my idea for a 10% royalty
2013-02-26 11:58:50 PM  
1 vote:
I have a service that follows me to restaurants, takes photos of my food, and posts them to my Facebook and Twitter accounts.
2013-02-26 11:50:27 PM  
1 vote:

Pocket Ninja: The USPS has released a statement saying that they're panning on offering a competing services, one where they collect all your emails, blog and forum posts that you follow, tweets, Facebook updates, and other e-communications, print them out, and mail them to you in a daily newsletter.


Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
2013-02-26 11:49:52 PM  
1 vote:
Before work I open my mailbox and scream into it "FARKAROO!"
My neighbors "accidentally" let their dog escape and it attacks me everytime I do.

They don't know that's why I do it.
2013-02-26 11:42:13 PM  
1 vote:
I think this means the recession's over.
2013-02-26 11:40:02 PM  
1 vote:
I'm looking for a service that will take my freshly delivered mail, haul it back to an office, scan it, and then mail the scans back to me.
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-02-26 10:13:06 PM  
1 vote:

St_Francis_P: 99% of what I get is junk mail. Here's my chance to have it converted into spam instead.


All right, it's true! Of course nobody needs mail. What do you think, you're so clever for figuring that out? But you don't know the half of what goes on here. So just walk away, Kramer. I beg of you.
2013-02-26 08:47:25 PM  
1 vote:
Outbox already has 600 customers in Austin.  I cannot imagine why.
2013-02-26 08:09:21 PM  
1 vote:

MaxxLarge: This has to be the epitome of laziness.

Also, FTA:

"The idea is that for $4.99 a month, someone can make their pesky physical mail disappear (assuming they can resist the urge to peek in their mailbox between pickups)."

Pffft...Who the hell would pay five bucks a month for someone else to organize stuff on a computer that they can already get for free with a little effort?

[hostmypicture.com image 161x36]

Oh...Yeah. Never mind.


But we get the bonus of getting to snark on other people who do it before the Liters can
 
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