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(Yahoo)   Lindsay Lohan's lawyer suggests that his client might work as a motivational speaker to avoid jail time. Why are you laughing? STOP LAUGHING   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 60
    More: Unlikely, Lindsay Lohan, Pacific Coast Highway, chief deputy, jail, attorney-in-fact  
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1244 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 26 Feb 2013 at 8:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-26 04:18:04 PM  
lock her up. it might be the only thing that saves her.
 
2013-02-26 04:18:39 PM  
I guess "bad example" is a form of motivation
 
2013-02-26 04:22:42 PM  
Would it be like those speakers who go to high schools, in the orange jumpers and chains, and talk about drinking and driving? Because that'd be fine with me.
 
2013-02-26 04:23:14 PM  
Well, she WOULD motivate you to put on another condom...and another, and another. Gotta 4-bag it.
 
2013-02-26 04:27:29 PM  

FlashHarry: lock her up. it might be the only thing that saves her.


How about we lock her up because she broke the farking law?
 
2013-02-26 04:34:45 PM  
She'd be lucky to get through the parking lot without running down three or four people.
 
2013-02-26 04:37:15 PM  

GAT_00: FlashHarry: lock her up. it might be the only thing that saves her.

How about we lock her up because she broke the farking law?


well, yes, this.
 
2013-02-26 05:42:51 PM  
"Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!"
 
2013-02-26 05:43:54 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: "Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!"


How the hell is she supposed to pay for parking?
 
2013-02-26 08:18:47 PM  
The actress plans to spend time recording public service announcements and make "periodic visits to schools, hospitals, and other venues where she may provide inspirational talks, encouraging children to pursue positive goals and avoid bad habits," states the letter filed on Friday and released by the court Tuesday.

Apparently, pursuing "positive goals" and avoiding "bad habits" includes "three misdemeanor charges of reckless driving, lying to police and obstructing officers from performing their duties." Who knew? If the alternative to serving time is to simply do a presentation of "You know all that stuff I did? You should do the opposite", you'd have to let out pretty much everyone in prison.
 
2013-02-26 08:25:19 PM  
I know! Let's invent our own community service. Because Lindsey is too precious for jail.

I think this guy will make Jerry Sandusky's lawyer look good (well, maybe just coherent) before this is all over.

/she's committed crime after crime, wrote "fark you" on her nails in court and now has hired an out-of-state lawyer who has been disbarred. I think she really wants to go to jail.
 
2013-02-26 08:27:40 PM  
Sorry. Not disbarred. Suspended for 5 years.
 
2013-02-26 08:29:23 PM  
*scans headline*

media.tumblr.com
25.media.tumblr.com
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-26 08:42:13 PM  
Lindsay, I think you'd be great as a motivational speaker.

In the scared-straight program.
 
2013-02-26 08:52:26 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-26 09:02:16 PM  
It's the synchophants like this lawyer that are dooming Lohan to the stereotypically tragic Hollywood starlet destiny.  Yes Lindsey, anything you want Lindsey, of course you're right Lindsey.  Fire the lawyer and hire a Dutch uncle.
 
2013-02-26 09:09:00 PM  

caddisfly: Dutch uncle


i thought for sure this was some inspeakably dirty sex act. can't decide if dissapointed or relieved
 
2013-02-26 09:10:16 PM  
Lindsay Lohan, the Dana Plato of a new generation.
 
2013-02-26 09:21:07 PM  
"Golly, being a vapid drunken whore who gets to walk away from multiple traffic convictions because you're a "celebrity", and still brings home six figures a year is cool! We wanna be like you Lindsay!"
 
2013-02-26 09:23:07 PM  
I wish people would stop referring to her as a victim
 
2013-02-26 09:23:13 PM  
In a van, down by the river?


R.I.P. Chris Farley
 
2013-02-26 09:27:01 PM  
A lot of good being a motivational speaker will do when she's slurring all of her words. This could work with the condition that she cannot lose her cool. Then what you do is have a Q&A at the end, and allow kids to ask her over and over again why she's called Firecrotch.
 
2013-02-26 09:53:42 PM  
Typo. He said "motivational streaker".

/ I know I'd run
 
2013-02-26 09:56:50 PM  
If she wants to stay out of jail, let her pick up litter from the highways.  But ffs, don't put her face on children's television!
 
2013-02-26 09:57:55 PM  
She looks like shiat.
 
2013-02-26 10:20:14 PM  
If you're a 45 year old man like Lohan, you're probably not allowed to use the "troubled home life due to parents having a hard time" line anymore.
 
2013-02-26 10:42:37 PM  
Motivational speaking and 1 on 1 life coaching at a small intimate venue down by the airport.  Oh, and interprative dance too.

fark it, you know what needs to happen.  Bruce Willis.  He needs to save this biatch with his love of money and sequels.  Last Boy Scout II: Rehabilitation.
 
2013-02-26 10:51:15 PM  

Medic Zero: In a van, down by the river?


R.I.P. Chris Farley


Eating government cheese?
 
2013-02-26 10:56:31 PM  
She's actually a pretty talented actress.
 
2013-02-26 11:05:40 PM  
FTFA: Those terms were imposed by Judge Stephanie Sautner, who is retiring and will no longer handle Lohan's case.

Don't you hate it when that happens?
 
2013-02-26 11:06:45 PM  

doctor wu: She's actually a pretty talented actress.


If by "pretty talented" you mean "two facial expressions above Kristen Stewart", then I'm in agreement.
 
2013-02-26 11:06:56 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: Medic Zero: In a van, down by the river?


R.I.P. Chris Farley

Eating government cheese?


I laughed! Delivery pizza actually, but yeah, gassy too.

theMoreYouKnow.jpg
 
2013-02-26 11:09:18 PM  

doctor wu: She's actually a pretty talented actress.


No, she was a pretty talented child actor.  Her acting career as an adult has shown she never matured any of those skills.
 
2013-02-26 11:10:16 PM  

Medic Zero: In a van, down by the river?


R.I.P. Chris Farley


I think the headline should have closed with that phrase.

First thing I was thinking of
 
2013-02-26 11:22:12 PM  

Fano: Medic Zero: In a van, down by the river?


R.I.P. Chris Farley

I think the headline should have closed with that phrase.

First thing I was thinking of


Yeah, I was surprised I was first with it at 18 posts in. First thing I thought of as well. Love that sketch so much.
 
2013-02-26 11:31:53 PM  
She was far better as Elizabeth Taylor than she's gotten credit for.
 
2013-02-26 11:32:35 PM  

tinyarena: FTFA: Those terms were imposed by Judge Stephanie Sautner, who is retiring and will no longer handle Lohan's case.

Don't you hate it when that happens?


The clown... is down.
 
2013-02-26 11:41:14 PM  
She will never top John Larroquette's AA speech/share for inspiration

/was there
//bought the tape after
///man is number 1 in my book (not the big book)
 
2013-02-26 11:46:34 PM  

doctor wu: She's actually a pretty talented actress.


She used to have talent, then the drugs melted them away.  They came back for a while, but then the meth hit again.
 
2013-02-26 11:54:16 PM  

doctor wu: She was far better as Elizabeth Taylor than she's gotten credit for.


You must be high...or Lindsay Lohan, or both....and drunk, as a skunk.
 
2013-02-27 12:09:18 AM  
The only thing she can do to motivate is to motivate someone to set themselves on fire in order to stop listening to her.
 
2013-02-27 12:40:45 AM  

doctor wu: She's actually a pretty talented actress.


That was a very interesting and unconventional troll.
 
2013-02-27 01:46:09 AM  
I'm thinking she may be a more motivational example if they throw the biatch in jail for a couple of years.
 
2013-02-27 01:59:28 AM  
It wasn't too long ago that a Lohan fark thread would have at least a few pictures of her when she was still hot. People don't even bother anymore. Kind of sad, really.
 
2013-02-27 02:03:56 AM  

FlashHarry: lock her up. it might be the only thing that saves her.

(FTFY)

F*CK her! She's had her chance. She's had several chances but she's flaunted it every time. Save US!
 
2013-02-27 03:07:02 AM  

ParagonComplex: A lot of good being a motivational speaker will do when she's slurring all of her words. This could work with the condition that she cannot lose her cool. Then what you do is have a Q&A at the end, and allow kids to ask her over and over again why she's called Firecrotch.


Why? No one brought up 3d printing.
 
2013-02-27 03:07:08 AM  
thank a system that lets celebrity live without responsibility. this is nothing new. justice is not black and white, it's a million shades of grey. good luck to you if you're not wealthy, powerful, connected or well known.
 
2013-02-27 03:11:06 AM  
I say dismiss all the charges, clear her record, and let her go.

Because fark it.

Let her kill herself. It'll be cheaper and waste less of our time.
 
2013-02-27 03:27:29 AM  
Sorry I read that headline as a motivated porn star

/never mind
//No that would be no mind
 
2013-02-27 03:53:45 AM  
She'll just stand up in front of teens and go "This could be your future!" and they'll all be shrieking in horror.
 
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