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(Huffington Post)   Today's lifestyle headline, "I caught my son french-kissing my wife" ...ewww   ( divider line
    More: Sick, stay-at-home dad, public displays of affection, sons, midwife, french  
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19431 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2013 at 6:44 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-02-26 07:13:24 PM  
6 votes:
  Soooo...A kid is at his Grandmothers house when she nods off...The kid gets bored and wanders across the street to his own house...Hearing strange noises,he follows the sounds to his parents room...Opening the door he sees his Dad banging his Mother....Dad jumps up and tries to console his shocked son...The Dad tries to laugh it off,telling the kid it was just a funny game he and his Mom were playing...Dad keeps chuckling and the kid runs off...Dad gets dressed and goes looking for him...He cant find him and goes looking for him at his Grandma's house...And there's the kid..on top of the Grandmother farking her....The Dad screams.."YOU"RE FARKING MY MOTHER!!!???!!"....The kid looks up at him and says..."Not so funny is it?"
2013-02-26 08:01:07 PM  
3 votes:
2013-02-26 06:53:57 PM  
3 votes:
Go on...
2013-02-26 06:51:18 PM  
3 votes:
2013-02-26 07:18:59 PM  
2 votes:
Kid was doomed from the start when his dickweed hipsters parents named him Felix.
2013-02-26 07:09:09 PM  
2 votes:
Incest Is Best

Relatively speaking
2013-02-26 06:58:40 PM  
2 votes:
When he found what he had done,
He tore his eyes out, one by one,
A tragic end to a loyal son,
Who loved his mother.
2013-02-26 06:46:24 PM  
2 votes:
WTF is Mom thinking?

/this kid is going to Rex something
2013-02-26 09:27:41 PM  
1 vote:


Also, it's not just boys that do this...

Daddy says I'm the best at it
2013-02-26 09:06:06 PM  
1 vote:
The Dad screams.."YOU"RE FARKING MY MOTHER!!!???!!"....The kid looks up at him and says..."Not so funny is it?"

lemming42: Recommend changing the punchline a bit for maximum funny:
The Dad screams.."WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!???!!"....The kid looks up at him and says..."Not so funny when it's YOUR mother, is it?"

Louisiana_Sitar_Club:  You're one of those guys that thinks that a joke gets funnier the more you explain it, aren't you? There was absolutely no ambiguity regarding what the kid meant and it was snappier. The extra words you want to throw in add nothing of comedic value. Nothing. The first punch line offered was better.

I disagree. Walking in on the kid boning his own grandmother, the father wouldn't really say "YOU"RE FARKING MY MOTHER!!!???!!"  to his presumably young son, it just seems like unlikely phrasing and an awkward way to set up the punchline. The second version's "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!???!!" is much more "believable" within the confines of the joke, and sets up the kid to deliver the sharper, less ambiguous version of the punchline: "Not so funny when it's YOUR mother, is it?"

This also gives the joke teller a chance to lean on the word "YOUR" to make sure the entire audience "gets it," whereas the vaguer "Not so funny is it?"  just sort of peters out without driving home the point of the joke.
2013-02-26 08:50:53 PM  
1 vote:
So she's a MILK.
2013-02-26 08:15:21 PM  
1 vote:
OH. Wow. I guess it's creepy Unkka Vudu story time.
When I was a child in the 60's, my African-American-Jewish grandmother used to keep a pickled beef tongue in the Kelvinator fridge. It was a Hot Point brand. I remember, because her stove was a Cold Spot Model.
Yeah, weird, but that is the details.
Anyways, You could never tell how old the damned thing was, being pickled, and all, but I spent time between two grandmothers who never ever talked to each other.
One was Jewish and part Black, passing for white, and the other was Native American, passing for white, and a farmer's wife.
I knew about cows, with their lazy tongues slobbering this long drool all the time and no way was I going to put a part of a cow's mouth in mine.
My Jewish granny would always try to cut a sliver off the pickled beef tongue and slide it in my sammich.
I could tell because I listened to the fridge door in the nest room, and knew how many times it needed to be opened by a drunken hag to make a simple baloney sammich.
I was good at this shell game she played and never once ate the tongue.
Well, as luck would have it, my father finally landed a good job in a city and got us a nice house in the burbs. In middle school, some university got a huge grant to go out and "study" kids.
They got to study my school. They sent all kinds of students and professors out to collect data and to their "research" and they subjected us to all kinds of tests where we were injected, inspected, detected, infected,neglected and selected.  And finally...
Finally, we got to the students and professors who gave us pubescent and prepubescent kids a psychological exam.
I waited in line, having waited on the group W bench, and went in for questioning.
The guys had a clip board and asked me all kinds of questions about my up until now, fairly boring life.
Then he popped the question.
"Kid"? He said. "Kid? What would be the most traumatic event in your life, thus far"?
And I had to think about it.
I had witnessed dinner being murdered.
I had plucked and skinned dinner, even.
I had seen kids bitten by copperheads and not recover.
I had found kittens decomposing in paper bags in creeks, and I really really had to think about it.
And he said "Kid? Do you know what 'traumatic' means"?
And i said, "Yes, I do.
I'm thinking about it".
And he left me alone for a moment.
Than I said, Sir? I think I know.
And he licked his #2 pencil and leaned over his clipboard and I blurted out
"I think it was all those times when I was much younger living in the country and my grandmother tried to slip me the tongue"
And he threw up all over the clipboard and I ran out and all the other kids patted me on the back and I was a farking hero for a week until some other kid upstaged me and ate and entire month's supply of his mother's birth control pills. And they had to take him to the doctor.

Oh. Wait. That was me, too.
And the doctor told my mom not to worry about me getting knocked up anytime soon.
/end Creepy Story, Bro.
2013-02-26 08:14:31 PM  
1 vote:
Sounds like you got some incest goin' on there. I think the problem statrted when you named the horny lil' bugger 'Felix'.
2013-02-26 07:55:50 PM  
1 vote:
Dude! You just french kissed your mom!
2013-02-26 07:44:00 PM  
1 vote:

Emo Jeezus: More low-IQ trash from the Fluffington Post, kingdom of deceptive headlines, garbage new age health advice, and grotesquely uninformed, self-important "poets, artists and playwrights" who masquerade as social critic columnists.

  Wow!   add a little harmonica and guitar....and that's a Bob Dylan song.
2013-02-26 07:34:32 PM  
1 vote:
"Everyone has that one creepy uncle who always wants to kiss you when he sees you. But follow up with some tongue, and suddenly you're the weirdo."
2013-02-26 07:31:27 PM  
1 vote:
"I caught my daughter giving head to my brother."
2013-02-26 07:24:12 PM  
1 vote:
Stupid attention whoring headline of the actual son and wife were French kissing! ....well, not really, but thanks for reading my crappy blog.
2013-02-26 07:08:17 PM  
1 vote:
Paging Dr. Freud.
2013-02-26 06:56:21 PM  
1 vote:

planes: Definition of Gross: When you kiss your gramma goodbye, and she gives you the tongue.

If you don't cup her tits when kissing her goodbye, that tends not to happen that much.
2013-02-26 06:56:13 PM  
1 vote:
Mother F+cker.
2013-02-26 06:53:17 PM  
1 vote:
Definition of Gross: When you kiss your gramma goodbye, and she gives you the tongue.
2013-02-26 06:52:08 PM  
1 vote:
And like a little Allen, my son is, at three-and-a-half, a true neurotic.

A wildly misleading, attention grabbing headline in order to drive page views.Well done, writer.So I clicked, let's hear it.

Stay-At-Home Dad ... It's funny, though. My wife was the one who wanted a kid, while I was never as sold on the idea.

Dude, you're a stay-at-home dad for a kid you weren't sold on because your career as a "writer" is pathetic.  See for instance this article.
2013-02-26 06:49:02 PM  
1 vote:
She's raising a Cyrus.
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