If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The New York Times)   "The medical examiner's office will determine the cause of the woman's death." Given the fact that she was found in 4 bags, I think we can rule out natural causes (link fixed)   (nytimes.com) divider line 74
    More: Sick, medical examiners, natural causes, Melrose, building superintendent  
•       •       •

3282 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2013 at 3:32 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-02-26 02:22:39 PM
I'm thinking "suicide" is also off the table.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-02-26 02:37:51 PM
I don't know.  I've been told that some people just fall to pieces at the smallest thing.
 
2013-02-26 02:39:42 PM
Separation anxiety?
 
2013-02-26 02:42:37 PM
Link requires registration. Bad subby, bad.
 
2013-02-26 02:47:22 PM

MaxxLarge: I'm thinking "suicide" is also off the table.


I'm thinking hangnail.
 
2013-02-26 02:55:29 PM
fwiw subby, she actually could've died from natural causes and then the dismemberment occurred.

that's why they perform an autopsy.
 
2013-02-26 03:13:46 PM

MaxxLarge: I'm thinking "suicide" is also off the table.


I dont think so.


After all you could dive into a wood chipper.
 
2013-02-26 03:21:31 PM

calbert: fwiw subby, she actually could've died from natural causes and then the dismemberment occurred.

that's why they perform an autopsy.


Came here to say this. It'a not murder if you shoot a corpse in the head. And it's not rape if you crack a cold one.

/Desecration of human remains is not a felony.
 
2013-02-26 03:30:57 PM
Subby, I think it's too early to go out on a limb. The police still need time to put two and two together, so let's not get ahead of ourselves.
 
2013-02-26 03:33:09 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: MaxxLarge: I'm thinking "suicide" is also off the table.

I dont think so.


After all you could dive into a wood chipper.


Those poor college kids and their suicide pact.
 
2013-02-26 03:34:57 PM
Heck, my old mob infested neighborhood had a neighbor stabbed eight times in the back. Suicide according to the medical examiner.
 
2013-02-26 03:35:05 PM
Boy I'm glad none of you are actual detectives.  Or scientists.
 
2013-02-26 03:35:56 PM
You never know. Some one could've been looking to save some money on funeral services, or maybe they just wanted to keep cashing her pension.
 
2013-02-26 03:36:26 PM

CruiserTwelve: Link requires registration. Bad subby, bad.

 
2013-02-26 03:36:30 PM

Paris1127: Subby, I think it's too early to go out on a limb. The police still need time to put two and two together, so let's not get ahead of ourselves.


That's not very humerus.  We kneed to keep abreast of the situation, keep a level head, and not stick our neck out too far.  We don't have a leg to stand on, and hope steady hands guide the investigation, tooth and nail, eyeing all potential heels that could have done such an evil deed.  It is tough to stomach, but with a strong heart we will conquer, no ifs, ands, or butts.  also, vagina.
 
2013-02-26 03:37:05 PM
She was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disembowled, drawn and quartered.
 
2013-02-26 03:37:09 PM

BronyMedic: And it's not rape if you crack a cold one.


Is that what the cool kids are calling it these days?

// necrophilia just sounds... I don't know, classier.
 
2013-02-26 03:38:11 PM
Four bags? Pfft. Amateur!

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-26 03:39:06 PM
Spontaneous Human Explosion.
 
2013-02-26 03:39:08 PM
Hello everybody! This is a simple case of Heftybagus Eruptus. That's where the body splits itself in to four pieces and neatly ties itself in to separate garbage bags. Completely natural!
 
2013-02-26 03:39:31 PM
linking paywalls = bad :/
 
2013-02-26 03:39:55 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: MaxxLarge: I'm thinking "suicide" is also off the table.

I dont think so.


After all you could dive into a wood chipper.


Reminds me of the guy who commited suicide with a bandsaw. People sometimes do horrific things to themselves. Google if you feel like a creep. The Aristocrats.
 
2013-02-26 03:40:05 PM
I don't think you can rule out natural causes - maybe she had just moved into an apartment and just died naturally, but before the flatmates reported the crime they found a big bag of cash in her room.
 
2013-02-26 03:40:58 PM

calbert: fwiw subby, she actually could've died from natural causes and then the dismemberment occurred.

that's why they perform an autopsy.


This. I hate this class of headlines. "Person found shot four times. Guess we can rule out the cause of death lol".
 
2013-02-26 03:41:35 PM

BronyMedic: calbert: fwiw subby, she actually could've died from natural causes and then the dismemberment occurred.

that's why they perform an autopsy.

Came here to say this. It'a not murder if you shoot a corpse in the head. And it's not rape if you crack a cold one.

/Desecration of human remains is not a felony.


Actually it would appear that in quite a few places in the US it is a felony. I know this because of my learnings and the fact that your post made me Google it.
 
2013-02-26 03:41:36 PM

CruiserTwelve: Link requires registration. Bad subby, bad.

 
2013-02-26 03:41:40 PM

CruiserTwelve: Link requires registration. Bad subby, bad.


Please log in.

NO.  Next.
 
2013-02-26 03:41:55 PM

BronyMedic: /Desecration of human remains is not a felony.


You may want to check that.  I have a client who did 3 years for Abuse of a Corpse.
 
2013-02-26 03:42:18 PM
So...schizophrenia?
 
2013-02-26 03:42:39 PM

BronyMedic: calbert: fwiw subby, she actually could've died from natural causes and then the dismemberment occurred.

that's why they perform an autopsy.

Came here to say this. It'a not murder if you shoot a corpse in the head. And it's not rape if you crack a cold one.

/Desecration of human remains is not a felony.


I'm guessing that depends on the state, but since I'm about to be inundated with fellow students around me, I will NOT be researching this, sorry. Otherwise I would.
 
2013-02-26 03:43:24 PM
Ground up and in the freezer.  Jeez, get it right.
 
2013-02-26 03:44:30 PM

BronyMedic: Came here to say this. It'a not murder if you shoot a corpse in the head. And it's not rape if you crack a cold one.


Abuse of a Corpse / Gross Abuse Of a Corpse is a crime in a shiatload of states.  depending how bad the abuse is, it can be a felony.
 
2013-02-26 03:45:44 PM

Anderson's Pooper: I have a client who did 3 years for Abuse of a Corpse.


what did he do?  make a bong out of the head?  pump some hot loads into it?  Weekend at Bernie's?
 
2013-02-26 03:46:45 PM
PLEASE LOG IN
Log in to manage your products and services from The New York Times and the International Herald Tribune.

Don't have an account yet?
Create an account »

Subscribed through iTunes and need an NYTimes.com account?
Learn more »


Nice try, Subs & Mods.
 
2013-02-26 03:46:46 PM

blatz514: CruiserTwelve: Link requires registration. Bad subby, bad.

Please log in.

NO.  Next.


Don't think so.
 
2013-02-26 03:47:24 PM

lennavan: Boy I'm glad none of you are actual detectives.  Or scientists.


fc02.deviantart.net
It's cool, man! I'm a detective. Clear the crime scene and let me think! A REAL detective would know that meteors did it.
 
2013-02-26 03:47:34 PM

CruiserTwelve: Link requires registration. Bad subby, bad.


This.
 
2013-02-26 03:47:43 PM

Carn: Ground up and in the freezer.  Jeez, get it right.


www.biography.com

Likes the cut of your jib
 
2013-02-26 03:48:35 PM
I have a feeling Bronymedic is destroying evidence as we speak.
 
2013-02-26 03:49:49 PM
It could be natural causes, it could be suicide.  Doesn't mean someone didn't come in after the fact and chopped her up.

Watch this movie:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0289992/
 
2013-02-26 03:50:11 PM
Given the fact that I hit a paywall, I can rule out going to the New York Times' website ever again.

Do they have ads as well as being a paid site? I bet they do...
 
2013-02-26 03:50:30 PM

Anderson's Pooper: BronyMedic: /Desecration of human remains is not a felony.

You may want to check that.  I have a client who did 3 years for Abuse of a Corpse.


Does he masturbate to photos of livestock?
do the "Silence of the Lambs" dance to Christian Rock?
Eat feces and quotes from "Deliverance"?
And fights with his imaginary playmate Vince?
 
2013-02-26 03:51:26 PM

ggecko: It could be natural causes, it could be suicide.  Doesn't mean someone didn't come in after the fact and chopped her up.

Watch this movie:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0289992/


Or watch this movie http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1465522/?ref_=sr_1
 
2013-02-26 03:53:17 PM

rickythepenguin: BronyMedic: Came here to say this. It'a not murder if you shoot a corpse in the head. And it's not rape if you crack a cold one.

Abuse of a Corpse / Gross Abuse Of a Corpse is a crime in a shiatload of states.  depending how bad the abuse is, it can be a felony.


Well damn. There goes my plans for the dead baby marionette theatre and an amature remake of weekend at Bernie's.
 
2013-02-26 03:53:21 PM
She was a leper

/it's never lupus leprocy
 
2013-02-26 03:53:37 PM
I'll need to know how remarkable her anus is to be able to make a better diagnosis...
 
2013-02-26 03:54:54 PM

CruiserTwelve: Link requires registration. Bad subby, bad.


Yeah.

People. Please don't submit registration required articles.
 
2013-02-26 03:55:22 PM
So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don'tcha know that? And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day. Well. I just don't understand it.
 
2013-02-26 03:55:59 PM

exvaxman: Heck, my old mob infested neighborhood had a neighbor stabbed eight times in the back. Suicide according to the medical examiner.


In the county over from the one I live in, a pretty wealthy man shot a guy in the back three times, who was 100+ feet away from him, according to the forensic analysis.  The death was ruled self-defense...
 
2013-02-26 03:56:22 PM

rickythepenguin: BronyMedic: Came here to say this. It'a not murder if you shoot a corpse in the head. And it's not rape if you crack a cold one.

Abuse of a Corpse / Gross Abuse Of a Corpse is a crime in a shiatload of states.  depending how bad the abuse is, it can be a felony.


But what if you're really tender and sweet?  Gentle, even!
 
Displayed 50 of 74 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report