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(The Smoking Gun)   Florida man assaults his brother-in-law with a Taco Bell burrito. Usually its the burrito itself that does the assaulting   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 45
    More: Florida, Taco Bell, Infraction  
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3116 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2013 at 1:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-26 01:33:25 PM  
Ah, the mysterious #FloridaMan has struck again.
 
2013-02-26 01:33:29 PM  
Hard shell or soft shell?
 
2013-02-26 01:35:17 PM  
Isn't burrito a "little donkey"?
 
2013-02-26 01:35:39 PM  

Raoul Eaton: Hard shell or soft shell?


Hard shell burrito? Now there's an interesting idea.
 
2013-02-26 01:37:00 PM  
This is now a pejorative-names-for-Taco-Bell thread.

Taco Hell
Toxic Hell
Taco Smell


make a run for the bathroom
 
2013-02-26 01:37:19 PM  
So, ban assault burritos?
 
2013-02-26 01:37:31 PM  
If the assault was done with Locos Tacos, he'd have a good shot at an insanity plea.
 
2013-02-26 01:37:52 PM  
G'damn snowflakes these days can't even have a food-fight without police intervention.
It's a good thing John Belushi is already dead cuz this would have shamed him to death!
 
2013-02-26 01:37:58 PM  
An untold number of toilets have been abused over the years as a result of these burritos. End toilet abuse now. Stop eating Taco Bell.

www.choosy-beggars.com
 
2013-02-26 01:38:03 PM  
While interviewing the teen, cops noted that he had "burrito cheese, sauce and meat all over his clothing and face."
Got nuthin'
 
2013-02-26 01:38:07 PM  

EvilVanMan: Raoul Eaton: Hard shell or soft shell?

Hard shell burrito? Now there's an interesting idea.


I think it's called a chimichanga.
 
2013-02-26 01:39:07 PM  
The Taco Revolution will not be televised.
 
2013-02-26 01:40:12 PM  
Wouldn't have happened if he was carrying a concealed burrito for protection.
 
2013-02-26 01:41:16 PM  

EvilVanMan: Raoul Eaton: Hard shell or soft shell?

Hard shell burrito? Now there's an interesting idea.


Burrito, taco, what's the difference?  It's Taco Bell.
 
2013-02-26 01:42:28 PM  
I'd take this case all the way to the Supreme Court, but I don't want to pay extra for tomatoes and sour cream.
 
2013-02-26 01:42:28 PM  
Guess the bro-in-law was trying to get off using a $2 to get one

t2.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-26 01:43:59 PM  
Mr. Politician, how does one define a scary "assault burrito"?
 
2013-02-26 01:44:04 PM  
I'm visualizing the splattering effect of a left-sided burrito swipe. It's like an action scene from a Tarantino flick.
 
2013-02-26 01:45:04 PM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Wouldn't have happened if he was carrying a concealed burrito for protection.


Lol win
 
2013-02-26 01:47:36 PM  
He musta had a big beef
 
2013-02-26 01:49:52 PM  
"Brown told police that the victim was disrespectful to his mother and had cursed at the woman."

Justifiable. Nobody cusses out my mother but me.
 
2013-02-26 01:51:50 PM  
Wow, talk about timing!
It's "Taco Tuesday" at Del Taco today!

Woo-hoo!  No cooking for me tonight!
 
2013-02-26 01:52:25 PM  
Maybe it was a hard burrito?

cdn.newsday.com
 
2013-02-26 01:54:57 PM  
Came for Anchorman reference, leaving dissatisfied.

/you slippin fark
 
2013-02-26 01:56:07 PM  
I thought it was usually someone's colon, fueled by a burrito, that perpetrated the assault. That's how I do it, anyways.
 
2013-02-26 01:56:38 PM  
FTFA:  "Police allege that Erik Brown, 36, throttled the 16-year-old boy in the face with the burrito during a February 15 domestic dispute..."

How the heck do you throttle someone with a burrito?  How do you throttle someone in the face?
 
2013-02-26 02:00:02 PM  
Oakleym82Came for Anchorman reference, leaving dissatisfied.

/you slippin fark



I love lamp.
 
2013-02-26 02:02:00 PM  

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: An untold number of toilets have been abused over the years as a result of these burritos. End toilet abuse now. Stop eating Taco Bell.

[www.choosy-beggars.com image 391x273]


I eat Taco Bell maybe 2-3 times a year and I regret it every time... Pass the Tums :(
 
2013-02-26 02:07:24 PM  
I thought chemical weapons were banned by the Geneva Convention
 
2013-02-26 02:11:43 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I thought chemical weapons were banned by the Geneva Convention


There is some argument as to whether they can be classified as such, since people are part of the weaponization process.
 
2013-02-26 02:14:05 PM  

bdub77: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I thought chemical weapons were banned by the Geneva Convention

There is some argument as to whether they can be classified as such, since people are part of the weaponization process.


True, it is more of a binary system

/but even the precursor ingredients can be toxic
 
2013-02-26 02:36:23 PM  
Tonight we dine at Taco Bell.
 
2013-02-26 02:38:39 PM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Wouldn't have happened if he was carrying a concealed burrito for protection.


Its not the burrito that is dangerous. Its an inanimate object. I mean youve never seen a burrito throw itself off the table and hit someone in the face. We need to worry about mental health issues more than the burrito.
 
2013-02-26 02:56:53 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: Lt. Cheese Weasel: Wouldn't have happened if he was carrying a concealed burrito for protection.

Its not the burrito that is dangerous. Its an inanimate object. I mean youve never seen a burrito throw itself off the table and hit someone in the face. We need to worry about mental health issues more than the burrito.


You are more than five times more likely to eat a burrito if you have a burrito.
 
2013-02-26 03:10:13 PM  

bmfderek: EvilVanMan: Raoul Eaton: Hard shell or soft shell?

Hard shell burrito? Now there's an interesting idea.

I think it's called a chimichanga.


I thought that was a small dog breed.
 
2013-02-26 03:14:55 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: bmfderek: EvilVanMan: Raoul Eaton: Hard shell or soft shell?

Hard shell burrito? Now there's an interesting idea.

I think it's called a chimichanga.

I thought that was a small dog breed.


And a filling
 
2013-02-26 03:48:13 PM  
Really?


"Usually IT'S the burrito...."
 
2013-02-26 03:58:04 PM  
Okay I was expecting a James Cagney "Eat your grapefruit!" moment. He threw the burrito at the kid. How much damage could that really do.
 
2013-02-26 04:16:18 PM  

TheGogmagog: Ah, the mysterious #FloridaMan has struck again.


After Person Man hit him with a frying pan, FloridaMan hasn't been the same.
 
2013-02-26 04:19:59 PM  
Was the poor teenager checked for skull fractures, broken nose, missing teeth, and all that?  My god, how will he ever live after this incident?
 
2013-02-26 04:23:09 PM  
When will the senseless taco violence end?
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-best-taco-related-crimes

/really hate to link to buzzfeed, but it comes to mind every time this sort of thing happens.
 
2013-02-26 04:41:41 PM  
Open and shut "Stand Your Ground (Beef)" defense, in Florida.

/gavel pounds

//call the next case
 
2013-02-26 04:51:23 PM  
i.imgur.com

/and hungry now...
 
2013-02-26 04:57:51 PM  
This is a job for @_FloridaMan!
 
2013-02-27 04:26:12 AM  

almandot: Okay I was expecting a James Cagney "Eat your grapefruit!" moment. He threw the burrito at the kid. How much damage could that really do.


I was wondering that too. A burrito isn't going to do a lot of damage. Was it frozen or something?
Also, I like the way he made the kid bring the burrito to him before he slapped him with it. That's truly how it's done.
I guess it's true what they say: The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a burrito is a good guy with a burrito.
 
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