I hope the guards stood outside his cell eating cheeseburgers.

If he gets a cheesburger in jail, this could be ruled as a partial win.

Jackson has an extensive arrest and conviction record.  Most of his convictions are alcohol-related.

Neck tattoo was a dead give-away.

Most of his convictions were alcohol-related.

As were most of the court appearances and legal proceedings against him, too.

/I'll be here all week
//tip the waitstaff, please
///try the veal

Yeah, neck tattoo. "Bust me, please!".
Cheeseburger in paradise. Wonder if he also ordered a 'cold draft beer'.
Some folks just can't (or won't) be talked down from the tree. He might find religion later, but that's not the best outcome.

Did they send the patty wagon to get him?  He's going to get grilled.  With all those priors, he may even fry.

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [cdn.grumpycats.com image 850x512]

No you can NOT has cheeseburger.

Spent his life In-N-Out of the joint, just another Jack in the Box.

Photo of the suspect:

Pfft...  He's an amateur...

WhoopAssWayne: LesserEvil: I hope he enjoyed his jail-prepared  cheeseburger bologna sandwich.

Except in jail the bologna is green. Supposedly, it just fine that way, just not very aesthetic...... Supposedly.....

I've had roast beef that was rainbow-colored in spots, and I'm still alive. I slapped it on French bread with mayo (goddamnitsomuch I'm white), Swiss cheese, and gravy (because gravy), and ate it with one hand and...played Jedi Outcast with the other.

/...if you know what I'm saying
//Wink-wink, nudge-nudge

Nine times

Has anyone posted Happy Cat yet?

maram500: WhoopAssWayne: LesserEvil: I hope he enjoyed his jail-prepared  cheeseburger bologna sandwich.

Except in jail the bologna is green. Supposedly, it just fine that way, just not very aesthetic...... Supposedly.....

I've had roast beef that was rainbow-colored in spots, and I'm still alive. I slapped it on French bread with mayo (goddamnitsomuch I'm white), Swiss cheese, and gravy (because gravy), and ate it with one hand and...played Jedi Outcast with the other.

/...if you know what I'm saying
//Wink-wink, nudge-nudge

The iridescence ("rainbow-like sheen") of the roast beef and ham you have noticed is due to the regular muscle fiber structure of the meat combined with water droplets to create a "diffraction grating". The reflection of light off the water in the regular fiber grating causes separation of colors much like happens with a prism.In the meat industry, it is known that the effect is enhanced when phosphates are used to increase the amount of water held in the meat. A dry meat surface scatters rather than diffracts or reflects light.Equivalent poultry products typically are made from white muscle as opposed to the red muscle of beef and pork products. White muscle tissue has a higher natural pH which changes the conformation of the proteins in the muscle fibers, so a much less noticeable rainbow effect occurs. Also, these products are typically lower in salt, which affects the swelling of the muscle fibers. tl;dr: Rainbow meat isn't bad, it's normal

/green bologna on the other hand...

God I wish there was a burger delivery service.

LesserEvil: I hope he enjoyed his jail-prepared  cheeseburger bologna sandwich.

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Jail bologna is usually green and looks a lot older than this.

Hello.  Yes, this is dog.

I think it should be incumbent upon our educational personnel to inform the less astute, stoned silly and tattoo festooned dipweeds in our society that emergency dispatch workers are largely a humorless lot.

No CHEEBURGER, PIZZA !

Almost EXACTLY as I pictured.  Hair's a little shorter.

And now after RTFA, I feel kinda sorry for the guy and hope he lands in rehab.

No Hoff yet?

I'll bet once he got to jail, he got his farking cheeseburger.

He must be related to this guy.

Back when I delivered pizza, we had a drunk guy call wanting us to deliver to the next county.  Atleast he called an actual food delivery service, however he couldn't understand why we wouldn't drive that far.  We offered to meet him part way, but he knew he was too drunk to drive.  So I give him a couple points there, but he kept calling and cussing out any poor soul that answered the phone.  My manager had enough and called the cops.  A female deputy came out and while giving her all the details the guy called again.  Deputy got the phone and after the guy asked where his f#@!ing pizza was, she informed him that he was talking to a Kershaw County deputy.  He followed with "I don't give a $%^ who you are, bring me my pizza, ^&*#".  He got delivered alright.  I was surprised that she had no problem retrieving him from another county.

Here I am.

LesserEvil: I hope he enjoyed his jail-prepared  cheeseburger bologna sandwich.

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In light of the articles source this should be a WISH sandwich.

A WISH sandwich is the kind of a sandwich where you have two slices of bread and you, hee hee hee, WISH you had some meat...
Bow bow bow...

The dispatcher was afraid Jackson hadn't had anything to eat in a long time, so they sent an officer to his apartment.

*snicker* Yeah, that's why.


/dispatcher
//yes, we do have a sense of humor. It's just not appreciated by the general public. Kind of like Fark.

jobskee: Pfft...  He's an amateur...
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Too early for flapjacks?