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(Popular Mechanics)   The burger is pretty much perfect as it is, so how could it be improved? By tweaking ingredients at the molecular level, of course   (popularmechanics.com) divider line 44
    More: Spiffy, ingredients, Atmosphere of Earth  
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5017 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2013 at 9:18 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-26 09:21:18 AM
I tweaked the molecules of a couple of ribeyes in my meat grinder this past weekend.

The experiment was a complete success.
 
2013-02-26 09:23:04 AM
By giving it a start menu and arming teachers with guns.
 
2013-02-26 09:27:02 AM
I hear adding 29% horse meat helps too.
 
2013-02-26 09:28:47 AM
Paging Mr. Clark W. Griswold.

/Needs me some crunch enhancer.
 
2013-02-26 09:31:41 AM
Waiting for the link to the sous vide burger. . 3-2-1
 
2013-02-26 09:35:42 AM

Do the needful: Paging Mr. Clark W. Griswold.

/Needs me some crunch enhancer.


I don't know why they call that stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh?
 
2013-02-26 09:37:21 AM
By putting a fried egg on it.
 
2013-02-26 09:40:47 AM

vudukungfu: Waiting for the link to the sous vide burger. . 3-2-1


I saw Nathan Myhrvold demonstrate that on Kimmel one night.  Sous Vide seems like a pretty awesome way to cook some things.  A burger just doesn't seem like one of them.
 
2013-02-26 09:41:25 AM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

Burger wash.
 
2013-02-26 09:43:33 AM

exparrot: Do the needful: Paging Mr. Clark W. Griswold.

/Needs me some crunch enhancer.

I don't know why they call that stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh?


Real tomato ketchup exparrot?
 
2013-02-26 09:57:10 AM

numbone: [encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 180x280]

Burger wash.


agreed, a top notch burger wash and a paper sack filled with truffle fries.
 
2013-02-26 10:05:33 AM

Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadu: vudukungfu: Waiting for the link to the sous vide burger. . 3-2-1

I saw Nathan Myhrvold demonstrate that on Kimmel one night.  Sous Vide seems like a pretty awesome way to cook some things.  A burger just doesn't seem like one of them.


You still have to get the char on the outside.  Sous vide helps control the desired temperature.  His method for the burger is to hit it with liquid nitrogen to and then to fry it to get the crust.   I've cooked steaks sous vide, but finished by pan searing them for less than 30 seconds a side in a cast iron skillet at high heat with applewood bacon rendering.  It was the best damn mid-rare steak I have ever had.  I would think the same process would work well for a burger.
 
2013-02-26 10:06:50 AM

Do the needful: Real tomato ketchup exparrot?


Eddie was an exparrot?
 
2013-02-26 10:08:29 AM

Bruce Campbell: Do the needful: Real tomato ketchup exparrot?

Eddie was an exparrot?


Going back to bed.
 
2013-02-26 10:09:19 AM
If this makes the burger (with bacon and cheese) cost more than $10, fark it.
 
2013-02-26 10:26:47 AM
Next up, alcohol:
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-26 10:28:06 AM

Do the needful: exparrot: Do the needful: Paging Mr. Clark W. Griswold.

/Needs me some crunch enhancer.

I don't know why they call that stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh?

Real tomato ketchup exparrot?


Do the needful: exparrot: Do the needful: Paging Mr. Clark W. Griswold.

/Needs me some crunch enhancer.

I don't know why they call that stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh?

Real tomato ketchup exparrot?


Nothing but the best, needful, nothing but the best.

(yay commas!)
 
2013-02-26 11:17:22 AM
What has science done?!

/but more importantly, what HASN'T it done?
 
2013-02-26 11:27:00 AM
mustard? Fark you.


Also, they talk of adding Pork to the grind as if it were a bad thing.
 
2013-02-26 11:40:38 AM
Sometimes it's best to just have pure cow. The first burger I grill in the spring gets eaten with just a roll and it's the best burger I'll have all year
 
2013-02-26 11:57:01 AM

Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadu: vudukungfu: Waiting for the link to the sous vide burger. . 3-2-1

I saw Nathan Myhrvold demonstrate that on Kimmel one night.  Sous Vide seems like a pretty awesome way to cook some things.  A burger just doesn't seem like one of them.


Depends on the burger... You couldn't do a smash burger that way, but you can do a thick "pub-style" burger much better. Medium-rare all the way through, with a perfect browned crust that's just a millimeter thick with no grey.

But as for tweaking stuff molecularly, you can reduce the melting point of cheese by adding sodium citrate. So you could make a Parmesan or other hard cheese that melts properly on the burger like American.
 
2013-02-26 11:58:35 AM

Bruce Campbell: Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadu: vudukungfu: Waiting for the link to the sous vide burger. . 3-2-1

I saw Nathan Myhrvold demonstrate that on Kimmel one night.  Sous Vide seems like a pretty awesome way to cook some things.  A burger just doesn't seem like one of them.

You still have to get the char on the outside.  Sous vide helps control the desired temperature.  His method for the burger is to hit it with liquid nitrogen to and then to fry it to get the crust.   I've cooked steaks sous vide, but finished by pan searing them for less than 30 seconds a side in a cast iron skillet at high heat with applewood bacon rendering.  It was the best damn mid-rare steak I have ever had.  I would think the same process would work well for a burger.


Try deep frying the steak after you sous vide. You don't need the liquid nitrogen - just drop it into 450 degree oil for 20-30 seconds. The oil gets in all the cracks, and you get a better sear.
 
2013-02-26 12:09:21 PM
Try as I might I just can't envision any of this stuff improving upon White Castle's perfection
 
2013-02-26 12:14:38 PM
Two words:  Peanut Butter
 
2013-02-26 12:46:27 PM

jfivealive: Two words:  Peanut Butter


two more:  no farking way you disgusting idea having Fark knuckle.  I'd rather eat a burger made from horse and a homeless bum.
 
2013-02-26 01:06:14 PM

RoyHobbs22: jfivealive: Two words:  Peanut Butter

two more:  no farking way you disgusting idea having Fark knuckle.  I'd rather eat a burger made from horse and a homeless bum.


Have you ever tried? it's delicious.  Bacon cheeseburger with jalapenos, onions, and peanut butter.  Probably even be good with a fried egg on there too!
 
2013-02-26 01:13:59 PM

jfivealive: RoyHobbs22: jfivealive: Two words:  Peanut Butter

two more:  no farking way you disgusting idea having Fark knuckle.  I'd rather eat a burger made from horse and a homeless bum.

Have you ever tried? it's delicious.  Bacon cheeseburger with jalapenos, onions, and peanut butter.  Probably even be good with a fried egg on there too!


I'm not sure it's possible for me to put my revulsion into words
 
2013-02-26 01:22:11 PM
Am I the only one who noticed that the article mentioned absolutely nothing about "tweaking ingredients at the molecular level"

Bun: Bread's texture depends on moisture loss, air velocity, oven temperature, and bake time. So is everything baked in an oven, what's your point?

Meat: Scientists in Ireland and Egypt have figured out how to use near-infrared spectroscopy-studying chemical bonds' vibrations to identify which molecules are present-to verify if adulterated meat is on market shelves. Nothing has been tweaked, they're just checking to see if it's 100% beef.

Lettuce: Blasting it with high-intensity light cuts down on the enzymatic activity, preventing browning and keeping it fresher longer. So they made lettuce last longer in your fridge, it still tastes the same correct?

Mustard: Leaching mustard seeds with hot water, scientists in India were able to remove the glucosinolates, chemicals that make mustard pungent, and create a mustard powder that is less astringent than regular mustard. So they managed to make a mild mustard. Um, they've had that on store shelves for years. Also, mustard on a burger is farking gross anyway.
 
2013-02-26 01:47:14 PM
Already done:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-26 02:07:56 PM

jfivealive: Two words:  Peanut Butter


content.internetvideoarchive.com
J5! NO!!! <sobs uncontrollably>
 
2013-02-26 02:54:39 PM
This kid liked peanut butter on his hamburgers, too.

images.starpulse.com

And that means, we ALL have to like peanut butter on hamburgers.
 
2013-02-26 02:55:01 PM
I'll take mustard on my burger, thank you very much. As long as its a bison burger.
 
2013-02-26 03:20:40 PM

Theaetetus: Try deep frying the steak after you sous vide. You don't need the liquid nitrogen - just drop it into 450 degree oil for 20-30 seconds. The oil gets in all the cracks, and you get a better sear.


Got rid of my deep fryer.  I found that I used it too often.
 
2013-02-26 03:27:04 PM

CognaciousThunk: I'll take mustard on my burger, thank you very much. As long as its a bison burger.



FTA: "Taming mustard's bitterness usually means also cutting down on flavor. But by leaching mustard seeds with hot water, scientists in India were able to remove the glucosinolates, chemicals that make mustard pungent, and create a mustard powder that is less astringent than regular mustard. "

Reminds me of a television ad back in the 1980s or early 1990s that featured "new MILD dijon mustard for people who find regular dijon too spicy."

What the hell is wrong with people?  If you don't want your mustard to be mustard-y, then don't farking put mustard on anything!  Use more ketchup or mayonnaise or whatever it is you heathens use already.
 
2013-02-26 03:28:58 PM

blue_2501: Already done:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 737x425]


www.arcade-museum.com
It's not new.
 
2013-02-26 04:28:30 PM
corned?
 
2013-02-26 04:39:02 PM

Theaetetus: Try deep frying the steak after you sous vide. You don't need the liquid nitrogen - just drop it into 450 degree oil for 20-30 seconds. The oil gets in all the cracks, and you get a better sear.


Deep fry in bacon fat, not peanut oil.
I have a fryer set up just with bacon fat in it.
It's wonderful.
 
2013-02-26 04:40:27 PM

Theaetetus: But as for tweaking stuff molecularly, you can reduce the melting point of cheese by adding sodium citrate. So you could make a Parmesan or other hard cheese that melts properly on the burger like American.


Perish the thought.
I'm a Vermonter.
Cheese has a specific purity standard, like Maple Syrup.
Just use velveeta, if you're going to be crass.
I'll just use a shredded cabot instead of a slice.
That gives a nice melt and cover.
 
2013-02-26 05:30:52 PM

ReapTheChaos: Am I the only one who noticed that the article mentioned absolutely nothing about "tweaking ingredients at the molecular level"

Bun: Bread's texture depends on moisture loss, air velocity, oven temperature, and bake time. So is everything baked in an oven, what's your point?

Meat: Scientists in Ireland and Egypt have figured out how to use near-infrared spectroscopy-studying chemical bonds' vibrations to identify which molecules are present-to verify if adulterated meat is on market shelves. Nothing has been tweaked, they're just checking to see if it's 100% beef.

Lettuce: Blasting it with high-intensity light cuts down on the enzymatic activity, preventing browning and keeping it fresher longer. So they made lettuce last longer in your fridge, it still tastes the same correct?

Mustard: Leaching mustard seeds with hot water, scientists in India were able to remove the glucosinolates, chemicals that make mustard pungent, and create a mustard powder that is less astringent than regular mustard. So they managed to make a mild mustard. Um, they've had that on store shelves for years. Also, mustard on a burger is farking gross anyway.


Mustard on a burger is ...

You just shut your whore mouth.
 
2013-02-26 05:43:21 PM
mustard? Fark you.


Also, they talk of adding Pork to the grind as if it were a bad thing.


This, and this.
 
2013-02-26 05:52:43 PM
Tards!

stmedia.startribune.com
Whar?
 
2013-02-26 06:17:24 PM

ph0rk: If this makes the burger (with bacon and cheese) cost more than $10, fark it.


What if... it had bacon, cheese, and BEER mixed in there? Tasty and gets you farked up!
 
2013-02-26 07:57:38 PM

People_are_Idiots: ph0rk: If this makes the burger (with bacon and cheese) cost more than $10, fark it.

What if... it had bacon, cheese, and BEER mixed in there? Tasty and gets you farked up!


World peace!

Of course we would have to nuke India.
 
2013-02-26 10:33:56 PM
Ron Swanson seen scowling behind his desk.
 
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