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(Opposing Views)   If financial problems are hindering your ability to buy food for your animals, consider Pet Food Stamps   ( divider line
    More: Interesting, pets, web application  
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3440 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2013 at 10:00 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-02-26 10:38:12 AM  
6 votes:
Yesterday I was at my local Kroger buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was
in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Kroger won't let me shop there anymore.
2013-02-26 10:02:31 AM  
3 votes:
You know the cats will just sell 'em at sixty cents on the dollar so they can get catnip.
2013-02-26 10:22:37 AM  
2 votes:
I'm a red-blooded True American. Work hard every day at Billy Jo Bob's NASCAR Merchandise Emporium. But when I go to the pet store, all I can afford for my little Muffykins is that off-brand cat food. You know the stuff. It's stocked on the bottom shelf, and is called something like Pureena Qualitty Food for Cats, and half the writing is in Chinese and it advertises itself as "Now with 20% MORE melamine!" So the other day, I'm there at the Petco, waiting in line, and sure enough, there's one of them welfare queens in line--real urban like, if you know what I mean--and her cart is full of that high-falootin', brand-name cat food. And the good stuff, too. Not that "Chicken Spleens and Gravy" flavor, but the good shiat, like "Fancy Feast Wild Caught Grilled Samon in a Savory Sauce with Rice and Garden Greens." That shiat's like $1.20 a can! The checkout girl rings her up, and I just about shiat a brick when she whipped out a Pet EBT card to pay for it all! And then, when Sha-Nee-Kwa saw she still had $5 on the card, she grabbed one of them fancy, battery-powered squeaky mice off the rack and said, "Y'all thow this on there too!" And she cackled all the way out to her car, no doubt glorying in how her cat is sticking it to the Man.

Ooooh, I was so mad. My little Muffykins has to make do with nothing but rubber bands and old bread bag ties as toys, and this ghetto queen is allowed to buy fancy toys with my tax money! Thanks a lot, Fartbongo!
2013-02-26 03:06:04 PM  
1 vote:

deanis: Pangea: deanis: Don't own a farking pet if you can't scrape up $40. Same goes for kids.

Sometimes people lose the job they had when they got their pet, and then have trouble finding another job. Animals can live for like years sometimes.Kids often remain your responsibility even when you lose your job too.

Perhaps this is what passes for trolling nowadays, but more likely you're just a self-centered ass with a closed mind.

Self centered...probably a little bit, closed mind? Not so much.

I just think it's foolish to choose to have a pet or have a child if you are not financially stable. I know "mistakes" happen and I understand people lose their jobs (economy these days! sheesh!). Bottom line is, if you require food stamps to survive, please don't bring kids into your likely horrible situation and it would probably be a good idea to skip on the pets and use whatever money you earn/have to improve your situation.


damndest farking thing, but that time when my wife got sick and couldn't work because of a suprise congential kidney condition, and I was in my last semester of lawschool and couldn;t withdraw without risking the $100K I'd already sunk into the endeavor,  We tried to return our five-year old and our cat because we just couldn't afford them anymore, but, get this  the hospital and the shiater REFUSED to take them back.  it was outrageous! We'd kept the receipts and everything but they INSISTED al sales were final, despite there not being a sign ANYWHERE that sad that.  Well, you can bet Consumerist got a BLISTERING email from me complaining about the situation, but it was to no avail...
2013-02-26 10:24:38 AM  
1 vote:

FARTNOISE FARTNOISE JUNIOR: Forward it to their email. For the lulz.

If I am going to start the rumor, I'm going to create an image macro infographic and send it directly to the Tea Party.  Preferably with DERP hidden in there somewhere.  (So far I have Dog Entitlements something Program.)  Go big or go home.
2013-02-26 10:08:06 AM  
1 vote:

BMFPitt: "We're not looking for government funding at this point," Okon said.
The country does not have a federal pet food stamp program.

I look forward to seeing my Republican Facebook friends post something about Obama's new Pet Food Stamps program any minute now.

Forward it to their email. For the lulz.
2013-02-26 10:06:42 AM  
1 vote:
"We're not looking for government funding at this point," Okon said.
The country does not have a federal pet food stamp program.

I look forward to seeing my Republican Facebook friends post something about Obama's new Pet Food Stamps program any minute now.
2013-02-26 10:04:08 AM  
1 vote:
I just kill the neighborhood cats, boil the meat, clean the meat off the bones and bag it in portions.  My dog loves it.  Can't do it all the time because there aren't enough cats for daily meals.... but it does offset.
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