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(Rocketnews 24)   "Thankfully medical staff was able to remove the bike from the boy's anus"   (en.rocketnews24.com) divider line 112
    More: Scary, Chinese, steel frame, physical injury  
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15151 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2013 at 3:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-25 04:26:06 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-25 04:28:56 PM
bbsimg.ngfiles.com
 
2013-02-25 04:29:20 PM
Burn that seat.

i.ytimg.com
 
2013-02-25 04:41:32 PM
Firefighters were called to the scene and used the Jaws of Life to detach much of the bicycle from the boy's rear end

Ow.
 
2013-02-25 04:43:03 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: I've also broken 10 bike frames, 5 or so forks, a half dozen sets of pedals and every single component on a bike =( Such rotten luck.


That is not bad luck. You are doing it wrong, or at least with too much enthusiasm.
 
2013-02-25 04:47:46 PM
"But the Senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity."
 
2013-02-25 04:51:15 PM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net

Was he smuggling the bike into jail?
 
2013-02-25 04:53:06 PM
One piece at a time
 
2013-02-25 04:54:18 PM

Jument: Uchiha_Cycliste: I've also broken 10 bike frames, 5 or so forks, a half dozen sets of pedals and every single component on a bike =( Such rotten luck.

That is not bad luck. You are doing it wrong, or at least with too much enthusiasm.


you would think so, right? But you haven't seen how I've broken them.

Hell I broke one of my team's KHS team flite frames on my first ride... that really pissed me off.

\one of 3 broken tea
 
2013-02-25 04:55:00 PM
FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUu new fark box.

\one of three broken team flite frames.
 
2013-02-25 05:07:19 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Jument: Uchiha_Cycliste: I've also broken 10 bike frames, 5 or so forks, a half dozen sets of pedals and every single component on a bike =( Such rotten luck.

That is not bad luck. You are doing it wrong, or at least with too much enthusiasm.

you would think so, right? But you haven't seen how I've broken them.

Hell I broke one of my team's KHS team flite frames on my first ride... that really pissed me off.

\one of 3 broken tea


There has to come a time when no matter what you think, the evidence suggests that you are just plain wrong. :)
 
2013-02-25 05:11:06 PM
It certainly seems to have hit him dead center!

I'll bet it's remarkable now!
 
2013-02-25 05:12:45 PM
Voodoo bike my ass!
 
2013-02-25 05:13:00 PM
Not the worst bicycle removal story I've heard...

Handle bar goes in under the chin, and comes out the kids mouth.
 
2013-02-25 05:15:30 PM
i29.photobucket.com

Good Cossutius approves
 
2013-02-25 05:19:08 PM

Jument: Uchiha_Cycliste: Jument: Uchiha_Cycliste: I've also broken 10 bike frames, 5 or so forks, a half dozen sets of pedals and every single component on a bike =( Such rotten luck.

That is not bad luck. You are doing it wrong, or at least with too much enthusiasm.

you would think so, right? But you haven't seen how I've broken them.

Hell I broke one of my team's KHS team flite frames on my first ride... that really pissed me off.

\one of 3 broken tea

There has to come a time when no matter what you think, the evidence suggests that you are just plain wrong. :)


I suppose being told, "damn, we've never seen that break like that before" could have been an eye opener.
Nah, I'll give it a few more frames.
 
2013-02-25 05:21:41 PM
You know who else's chute deployed and had his ride tumble into Snake Canyon?
 
2013-02-25 05:34:41 PM
I feel very fortunate about one the more painful bike mishaps, I once had.  I was riding an old 20" bike that had a banana seat, when I rode off into a ditch while seated.  I landed hard enough to break the seat and lets just say I walked home very slowly.  I now see how much worse it could have been.

/I have had kids since, so no permanent damage.
 
2013-02-25 05:47:44 PM
Well....from now on his farts will be silent?
 
2013-02-25 05:50:24 PM
where do you get  a bike like that?
 
2013-02-25 05:53:26 PM
Bicyclectomies are delicate procedures, though the incision does need to be lanced with a strong arm.
 
2013-02-25 05:56:12 PM

colon_pow: where do you get  a bike like that?


Just remove the seat from the post.  Adjust the seat post to desired height.
 
2013-02-25 05:59:30 PM

Snarfangel: Bicyclectomies are delicate procedures, though the incision does need to be lanced with a strong arm.


So, he might lose a testicle.  However he will be given all the juice he can handle.

/Now this will lead to another Oprah confession.
 
2013-02-25 06:05:23 PM
It could've been worse.
www.pitbike.com
 
2013-02-25 06:08:42 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Mikey1969: Uchiha_Cycliste: I've personally had at least 4 or 65 saddle and seatposts break while riding.. but I've never friggin impaled myself. =/

I give it 15 posts till Garrison's machine makes an appearance.

That's an amazingly broad range you've got there...

how did that six slip in there? ...


Astroglide?
 
2013-02-25 06:12:40 PM
Dear God, WTF??

That ENTIRE site is...I don't know what that is...
 
2013-02-25 06:20:11 PM
As long as his back bone/vertebrae then his retro bicycle in is alright and intact, he'll be fine.

If he's got his spine, he's got his orange crush.
 
2013-02-25 06:28:48 PM
wow... you guys are slipping:

news.usc.edu
/we're gonna need a proctologist...
 
2013-02-25 06:29:39 PM
i1121.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-25 06:33:42 PM
Teach the Chinese kid to buy American next time!!!
 
2013-02-25 06:36:54 PM

Okieboy: Poor kid, I'd hate to have to show my face (or ass) at school after something like that.


Orientals all look the same.
 
2013-02-25 06:39:07 PM

randomjsa: Not the worst bicycle removal story I've heard...

Handle bar goes in under the chin, and comes out the kids mouth.


They used to hang people like that using a hook on a rope.
 
2013-02-25 06:48:00 PM
Son: "Mom, today I had sex with the teacher!"
Mom: "You go to your room! Wait till your father hears about this!"

Dad: "Son, I hear you're in trouble. What happened?"
Son: "Mom is all upset because today at school, I had sex with the teacher."
Dad: "You did?!? That's my boy! You know that bike you've been wanting for awhile? Lets go downtown and buy it for you!"
Son: "Gee, thanks Dad! I knew you'd understand."

At the bike store...
Dad: "Well, there it is, all assembled and paid for. Do you wanna ride it home, son?"
Son: "Gee thanks Dad, but my ass is still a little sore from school!"
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-25 06:52:21 PM
In what must have been a one-in-a-billion fall, the bicycle's seat got bent over exposing a cold, merciless steel rod which penetrated the boy's buttocks. The seat was unable to be removed.

The same one-in-a-billion fall that the naked guy and the vacuum cleaner experienced?
 
2013-02-25 06:57:32 PM

ZAZ: In what must have been a one-in-a-billion fall, the bicycle's seat got bent over exposing a cold, merciless steel rod which penetrated the boy's buttocks. The seat was unable to be removed.

The same one-in-a-billion fall that the naked guy and the vacuum cleaner experienced?


It's called Eiffel Syndrome. Usually happens to partially clothed people engaging in an entirely nonsexual activity with others or alone, such as "naked guitar playing on table with beer bottles." When gravity ensues, inanimate objects become lodged in an orifice with incredible frequency.
 
2013-02-25 07:01:35 PM

KimNorth: Teach the Chinese kid to buy American next time!!!


Have you checked the seat on your bike?  Guess who made it, good chance it was this kid.  He had just got promoted to quality control when the accident happened.  The seat failed because of the kid who took this kid's old place on the line.  The new kid on the line is about to get the worst performance review imaginable.
 
2013-02-25 07:02:43 PM

lack of warmth: Have you checked the seat on your bike?


Who made your sarcasm meter?
 
2013-02-25 07:03:16 PM

UsikFark: It's called Eiffel Syndrome. Usually happens to partially clothed people engaging in an entirely nonsexual activity with others or alone, such as "naked guitar playing on table with beer bottles." When gravity ensues, inanimate objects become lodged in an orifice with incredible frequency.


I wouldn't consider sitting around naked, whatever the activity, (except perhaps bathing) entirely nonsexual.
 
2013-02-25 07:09:24 PM
In over eight years of exclusively riding a bicycle, I have had three seats break off.  No matter how many miles I rode (LOTS), and/or how drunk I was (usually very), I have (thankfully) never forgotten that I didn't have a seat, and simply stood on the pedals to avoid geting reamed.

/ I often laugh while passing gas stations.

// I also chuckle when I think about the prices of a tag, registration, insurance, tune ups, oil, many other fluids, and all of the other normal "wear and tear" associated with a motorized vehicle.

/// Not an environmentalist fanatic, I just got tired of wasting money.

//// I spend $30 twice a year for a bicycle tune up (brake pads, cable adjustments, chain oiled, et cetera).

// It's very seldom too cold to ride a bicycle in Florida (south of Tampa).  For a back up, $2.50 for a  round trip bus ride isn't bad.
 
2013-02-25 07:10:57 PM
To make it worse, the bike was a Giant.
 
2013-02-25 07:18:30 PM

ReapTheChaos: UsikFark: It's called Eiffel Syndrome. Usually happens to partially clothed people engaging in an entirely nonsexual activity with others or alone, such as "naked guitar playing on table with beer bottles." When gravity ensues, inanimate objects become lodged in an orifice with incredible frequency.

I wouldn't consider sitting around naked, whatever the activity, (except perhaps bathing) entirely nonsexual.


It's a joke, because people don't want to explain their freaky or kinky decisions in the ER. They just lie and say they fell on it.

Eiffel Syndrome - (From I-fell on it) patient with a foreign object in the rectum
 
2013-02-25 07:39:01 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-25 07:52:30 PM

Badgers:


I was getting nervous about the lack of what what in the butt.
 
2013-02-25 07:53:38 PM
Thankfully, some countries are still able to provide us with medical hilarity since they don't have HIPAA.

Had this happened in the US, those pictures would have spurred a lot of lost jobs and lawsuits. :(
 
2013-02-25 08:00:04 PM
He was warned. "Look kid, next time you ride that bike through my yard, I'm gonna shove it up your ass!"
 
2013-02-25 08:02:45 PM

Skyd1v: What_Would_Jimi_Do: million to one shot doc, a million to one.

/assman

*Shakes tiny fist of impotent rage.*


According to the article it was BILLIONS to one. Billions and biiillllionnnnssss
 
2013-02-25 08:21:26 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Jument: Uchiha_Cycliste: Jument: Uchiha_Cycliste: I've also broken 10 bike frames, 5 or so forks, a half dozen sets of pedals and every single component on a bike =( Such rotten luck.

That is not bad luck. You are doing it wrong, or at least with too much enthusiasm.

you would think so, right? But you haven't seen how I've broken them.

Hell I broke one of my team's KHS team flite frames on my first ride... that really pissed me off.

\one of 3 broken tea

There has to come a time when no matter what you think, the evidence suggests that you are just plain wrong. :)

I suppose being told, "damn, we've never seen that break like that before" could have been an eye opener.
Nah, I'll give it a few more frames.


That reminds me that last night I figured out that my mountain bike (a Rocky Mountain) was purchased in 1997. Still running great. Original everything except tires (slicks for city riding, at least 10 years old) and chain. Even the cables are still original. And somehow I haven't broken it.
 
2013-02-25 08:21:59 PM

BronyMedic: Thankfully, some countries are still able to provide us with medical hilarity since they don't have HIPAA.

Had this happened in the US, those pictures would have spurred a lot of lost jobs and lawsuits. :(


I'm pretty sure a wide variety of medical malfunction photographs exist, typically with a bar across the eyes, like this poor SOB:

openi.nlm.nih.gov
 
2013-02-25 09:16:03 PM
i49.tinypic.com
 
2013-02-25 09:23:09 PM
In other news, the Chinese have begun riding bamboo-framed bikes. I'm thinking more likely to break apart but less painful if they penetrate one's cornhole.
 
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