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(Rocketnews 24)   "Thankfully medical staff was able to remove the bike from the boy's anus"   (en.rocketnews24.com) divider line 112
    More: Scary, Chinese, steel frame, physical injury  
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15158 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2013 at 3:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



112 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-25 03:22:08 PM
Rats... I was hoping to submit this. At least it was only a saddle rail and not a seat post.
... obvious joke... damn near killed him.
 
2013-02-25 03:27:23 PM
Remarkable story.

*blink*
 
2013-02-25 03:28:33 PM
That's definitely remarkable.
 
2013-02-25 03:34:42 PM
When the Bicycle Moto hits the X.
 
2013-02-25 03:36:00 PM
UBIA?
 
2013-02-25 03:38:35 PM
Anus? Damn near killed him.
 
2013-02-25 03:41:47 PM
So who gets the hose if the chain lube hits the anus?
 
2013-02-25 03:44:25 PM
When BMX goes ATM.
 
2013-02-25 03:44:38 PM
That Bike obviously paid the Troll Toll.
 
2013-02-25 03:45:35 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-25 03:46:06 PM

brap: When the Bicycle Moto hits the X.


Son, I am disappoint.
 
2013-02-25 03:46:45 PM
Was it a Huffy or a Schwincter?
 
2013-02-25 03:47:25 PM
Just a coufew inches or so up and a promising career in the soft drink industry would have been ruined.
 
2013-02-25 03:47:30 PM
I've personally had at least 4 or 65 saddle and seatposts break while riding.. but I've never friggin impaled myself. =/

I give it 15 posts till Garrison's machine makes an appearance.
 
2013-02-25 03:47:45 PM
million to one shot doc, a million to one.

/assman
 
2013-02-25 03:48:05 PM
"Rectum? Damn near killed him" is my FIL's favorite joke
 
2013-02-25 03:48:13 PM
Just a few inches or so up and a promising career in the soft drink industry would have been ruined.

/ftfm
 
2013-02-25 03:48:29 PM
I thought all cyclists had something up their ass?
 
2013-02-25 03:48:39 PM
So we're all going to just pretend this is a legitimate story huh.  Okay, just checking.
 
2013-02-25 03:48:52 PM

What_Would_Jimi_Do: million to one shot doc, a million to one.

/assman


*Shakes tiny fist of impotent rage.*
 
2013-02-25 03:49:04 PM
Something something, find my keys and I'll drive us out of here
 
2013-02-25 03:49:30 PM
That what he gets for for riding some cheaply built American crap.
 
2013-02-25 03:49:38 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: I've personally had at least 4 or 65 saddle and seatposts break while riding.. but I've never friggin impaled myself. =/

I give it 15 posts till Garrison's machine makes an appearance.


That's an amazingly broad range you've got there...
 
2013-02-25 03:51:25 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I thought all cyclists had something up their ass?


And we're done.
 
2013-02-25 03:51:58 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I thought all cyclists had something up their ass?


Usually just the drivers stuck behind them.

/I said "stuck behind." Hehe
 
2013-02-25 03:52:18 PM

Mikey1969: Uchiha_Cycliste: I've personally had at least 4 or 65 saddle and seatposts break while riding.. but I've never friggin impaled myself. =/

I give it 15 posts till Garrison's machine makes an appearance.

That's an amazingly broad range you've got there...


how did that six slip in there? ...
4 or 5.
I've also broken 10 bike frames, 5 or so forks, a half dozen sets of pedals and every single component on a bike =( Such rotten luck.
 
2013-02-25 03:55:04 PM
I understand that this problem is of substantial concern if the bicycle is oiled.
 
2013-02-25 03:57:30 PM

griffer: brap: When the Bicycle Moto hits the X.

Son, I am disappoint.


Is that you really you pops?

- Schwinning!
 
2013-02-25 03:58:18 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: I've personally had at least 4 or 65 saddle and seatposts break while riding.. but I've never friggin impaled myself. =/

images.45cat.com

 
2013-02-25 03:58:24 PM
www.empireonline.com

But didn't hurt has much as the truth.
 
2013-02-25 03:58:39 PM
Bike-sexual?
 
2013-02-25 03:58:48 PM
I'd like to see Tom Bergeron make a snappy quip about THIS on AFV (seeing as I can't because my butt-cheeks are clenched painfully tight).
 
2013-02-25 03:58:54 PM
Must have been equipped with a goatseat.
 
2013-02-25 03:59:48 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com

Perhaps he enjoyed it?
 
2013-02-25 04:00:30 PM

stonicus: Uchiha_Cycliste: I've personally had at least 4 or 65 saddle and seatposts break while riding.. but I've never friggin impaled myself. =/

[images.45cat.com image 400x400]


I don't suppose I'll garner much sympathy blaming my shiatty keyboard at work.
 
2013-02-25 04:00:42 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Mikey1969: Uchiha_Cycliste: I've personally had at least 4 or 65 saddle and seatposts break while riding.. but I've never friggin impaled myself. =/

I give it 15 posts till Garrison's machine makes an appearance.

That's an amazingly broad range you've got there...

how did that six slip in there? ...
4 or 5.
I've also broken 10 bike frames, 5 or so forks, a half dozen sets of pedals and every single component on a bike =( Such rotten luck.


Holy crap dude, I had 2 1/2 bikes stolen from a restaurant I worked for, and one out of my freking back yard, but nowhere near that kind of bad luck. I'd sy that at least you're riding the bikes as they're intended to be ridden, just turned up to '11'.
 
2013-02-25 04:00:55 PM
Something about this story just stinks.   The odds of this happening are just asstronomical.
 
2013-02-25 04:02:53 PM
was it made out of fussili?
 
2013-02-25 04:03:51 PM
Was it Made in America?

/suck it commie boy.
 
2013-02-25 04:04:24 PM
Ooh RocketNews has made Fark.
Some of their stuff is NSFW, just be forewarned.
 
2013-02-25 04:04:28 PM
26.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-25 04:06:55 PM
He had a seat right there.
 
2013-02-25 04:07:41 PM
Traumatized for life just hearing the description.  Nightmares for life after the photos.  Thanks Fark.
 
2013-02-25 04:11:05 PM
Is this a legitimate story or did somebody just pull it out of their ass?
 
2013-02-25 04:12:10 PM

Mikey1969: Uchiha_Cycliste: Mikey1969: Uchiha_Cycliste: I've personally had at least 4 or 65 saddle and seatposts break while riding.. but I've never friggin impaled myself. =/

I give it 15 posts till Garrison's machine makes an appearance.

That's an amazingly broad range you've got there...

how did that six slip in there? ...
4 or 5.
I've also broken 10 bike frames, 5 or so forks, a half dozen sets of pedals and every single component on a bike =( Such rotten luck.

Holy crap dude, I had 2 1/2 bikes stolen from a restaurant I worked for, and one out of my freking back yard, but nowhere near that kind of bad luck. I'd sy that at least you're riding the bikes as they're intended to be ridden, just turned up to '11'.


It's a couple of things.
I've gone out ridding with Specialized's head warranty rep to try to figure out what's going on. We road on some pretty nasty trails and I says to him, I says, "you see how I ride, I know what I'm doing, why do I keep breaking shiat?"
He tells me, every once in a while there is someone with horrible luck. No matter what, no matter when, they are gonna end up with the bike that's gonna break. You are that person."
Bonus... Specialized replaces all my broken stuff no questions asked.

My old and beloved Simonetti road frame, died in the most glorious way I've ever seen. First imagine an empty coke can, and imagine the tear that would appear if you took the can and twisted it apart. That happened to my down tube. I have a crack that spirals around the entire down tube, ending about an inch and a half below where it starts. Middle of the tube, totally in explicable. I rode that farker in to the ground, literally. ='( I'll always miss that frame.
 
2013-02-25 04:12:55 PM
data.whicdn.com
 
2013-02-25 04:14:02 PM
I had 2 1/2 bikes stolen from a restaurant I worked for, and one out of my freking back yard, but nowhere near that kind of bad luck.

Cruel story, Bro.

My last bike was stolen after I locked it up outside a hospital and went in to visit a sick friend for 10 minutes.

My only hope is that the thief rode it into the side of a bus shortly hereafter and ended up where he started.
 
2013-02-25 04:16:08 PM
Poor kid, I'd hate to have to show my face (or ass) at school after something like that.
 
2013-02-25 04:18:55 PM
You don't go bike seat post to ass on the first day of school, kid.
 
2013-02-25 04:20:00 PM

skullkrusher: "Rectum? Damn near killed him" is my FIL's favorite joke


One of my (deceased) FIL's also.

I remember a coworker had a sign on his bulletin board, something like:
OSHA Notice: Do not ride this employee's ass, unless you have handlebars and a seat belt and an air bag installed on his saddle.
 
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